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sadgirl

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • #323337
    sadgirl
    Participant

    How do you post photos?

    #323331
    sadgirl
    Participant

    Thank you so much for your response, I am going through so much emotinal distress over our arguements. I posted a full arguement of ours for you to read and please any input that could help me is appreciated. Thank you again, it  the lastone you have to scroll down past the two i messed up ones and then there is one where i bolded what i said. thank you

    #323313
    sadgirl
    Participant

    We have a lot of history going on five years together. he once lied to me and was on craigslist and other sex websites for two years talking and sending nudes back and forth to men and women. he said hes not bi and he has spiritually came a long way and want to be better so i notice his progress and any love he gives me makes me forget the bad. the bad hurts really bad though.

    he is closed off and i react pretty intensely. we are both recovering addicts, when he lied i eventually relapsed after we both had 3 years together sober and i helped him get sober. i am confident in his sobrietty and my own but that lying ‘deception thing really sent me downward and i was sick for a year using heroin and i got endocarditis and we ended up reuniiting after a year of me using and he kicked me out and i just hibernated a year and got really sick. we reunited at the hospital where i am now and have been for 9 weeks on IV anitbiotics. we have a tender sweet love but he can be a bit womanizing and his mom even mentioned it to him. she use to tell me to let her know if he was mean to me and last night he told me he doesnt want to be like his father because him and his mom talked about it lasat night and she mentioned he can treat women like his father did.. his mom thinks that i turned his son into a man he used from age 10 to 34

    #323311
    sadgirl
    Participant

    he said i needed therapy and to leavse him alone 🙁

    #323309
    sadgirl
    Participant

    OMG IT DIDNT SAVE IT RIGHT AGAIN,. ok so basically i messaged him on instagram about a quote that implied he thought reality was fake like all a hallucination and i just sent him a private message saying “so im not real to you? and that makes me sad” and he called me on the hpone when he woke up to tell me what he meant but was pissy and accused me of wanting ALL THESE ANSWERS when in fact i was already over the quote and happy to hear from him he just handled it rudely and i was hurt so i defended myself and by “going on and on “” he is refrring to me saying over and over “DO NOT ACCUSE ME OF SOMETHING FALSE”
    well the convo is there but to make it easy to read, i am the first one and he is the one liners.

    #323307
    sadgirl
    Participant

    me: you always tell me to leave you alone
    if you say that i will
    you are so mean
    You’re mean!!!!!!!!!
    ok
    i wont bother you anymore
    sorry i was just confused
    and i wanted to knwo what you meant and you make me sound so horrible
    i hate my life
    just dont call me ever again
    i am going to make sure you dont have to worry about me anymore
    You love to argue
    no i am hurt
    I’m not doing it
    you dont get it
    you fucking hurt my feelings
    so fucking bad
    You’re always hurt
    ok
    then dont be with me
    You get hurt over nothing
    ok dont be with me then
    Something that has nothing to do with you
    you said to leave you alone
    thats why i am hurt
    Because ai just woke up and you wanna argue
    IT DOESNT MAKE IT LESS HURTFUL
    AND I DONT WANT TO ARGUE
    IT JUST TURNED INTO THAT
    because you say things that are not even tture you cannot even handle answering me
    I’m not gonna argue with you and I don’t like the way you are talking to me!
    you get so mad at me
    I am mad
    all i did was say “that made me sad”
    because i thought you were trying to imply that you think your whole life is a hallucination
    I can hardly say one thing with you getti g all vent out of shspe
    THATS NOT TRUE YOU JUST DONT LISTEN
    you dont listen or understand
    you dont answer me or help me understand nicely
    you just basically make me feel stupid
    and that is your way of settlingit
    YOU ARE THE ONE TGAT DOESNT UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!
    and then get mad when i defend myself
    I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEANT NOW
    IM HURT ABOUT THE WAY YOU HANDLE IT
    AND HOW YOU TELL ME TO LEAVE YOU ALONE
    Then let it go!
    AND IMPLY THAT I WANT TO ARGUE
    I DONT WANT TO ARGUE
    I AM HURT THAT IT TURNED INTO ONE
    You are argumentative
    I DONT EGET HOW IT DID or why YOU say LEAVE ME ALONE
    its you say hurful things
    you dont know how to answer a question nicely if you think its stupid that im asking
    if you dont get why i am confused you answer me like im dumb
    and thats why we argue
    Because you were attacking me!
    ATTACKING??????
    I JUST SAID “THIS MAKES ME SAD’
    YYOU THINK IM NOT REAL???
    yes!
    it was a question
    Omg Jade
    not an attack
    I WAS EXPRESSING MY FUCKING CONFUSING TO YOU
    I was letting you know that i dont get it and hat it makes me sad
    you couldnt just explain it to me
    You are stressing me the fuck out right now!!!
    all you do is get ffrustate
    ALL I DO IS STRESS YOIU OUT
    LEAVE ME THEN
    Just let me have a relaxing day off
    that means minus me
    you make that so obvious
    i will leave you alone
    sorry i am too much for you
    Right when I wake up you wanna fucking argue!!!
    The quote has nothing to do with you!!!!
    You make my blood pressure go up
    Wtf now I feel like shit cuz my blood pressure is up
    This is not healthy
    then go be with someone you love
    go be with someone who you like
    You made me feel sick from the way you came at me
    I feel physically sick
    I feel like you came at me in a negative way
    so do i
    im crying and the nurse had to come in
    I wasnt even trying to argue with you
    you took it too seriously and when you just pop off on me
    i canot handle it
    it really hurts me
    you talk to me like im dumb
    That’s not right the way you do that to me. You don’t listen at all and always draw your own conclusions.
    and i did whaty ou said to do
    and you still get mad
    THAT IS NOT TRUE
    I WASNT EVEN MAD ABOUT THE QUOTE
    I WWAS HURT WITH YOUR FIGHTING LANGUAGE
    I’m not gonna continue to argue with you
    YOU use the most hurful language
    you say “leave me alone”
    THAT IS WHY I AM CRYING
    AND YOU SAY “YOU JUST WANT ALL THESE ANSWERS”
    i just asked one question
    Because multiple times I said I didn’t want to argue but everytime you continue.
    and said it made eme sad
    I JUST SAID THE SAME SENTENCE
    You don’t listen to me
    NOT TO ACCUSE ME
    I SAID DONT ACCUSE ME OF THAT
    OVER AND OVER
    YOU KEPT ACCUSING ME OF THE WRONG THING
    I WILL TEL LYOU WHAT I WAS DOING
    I say I’m done but you keep going!
    i was not even mad
    i was getting more and more hurt
    by the way you just have no patience
    you just get aggressive
    Do not send more than 5 messages at a time!
    and it hurts me and we are arguing because you say things like ‘YOu jst want aall these answers and you just want to argue
    I just fucking woke up!
    i was not trying to but we started arguing when you said that
    I JUST MADE ONE COMMENT ABOUT A PHOTO AND I DID WHAT YOU SAID WHEN I HAVE A QUESTION TO MESSAGE YOU PRIVATELY
    You are too demanding!
    BUT YOU STILL GET MAD
    I DIDNT DEMAND ANTYHIGN FO YOU
    I WASNT EVEN REALLY UPSET ABOUT IT ANYWAY
    I HONESTLY WOULDNT HAVE MENTIONED IT AGAIN
    I AM MORE HURT BECAUSE YOU SAY LEAVE ME ALONE AND TELL ME I LIKE ARGUING
    I AM MORE HURT BU THE HTINGS YOU SAY ABOUT ME
    I LOST INTERESTED IN THE QUOTE HOURS AGO
    YOU CALLED ME
    AND I JUST SAID 2 THINGS?
    I had to say that because you never listen
    ON INSTAGRAM????
    I WAS LISTENING
    YOU WERE TALKING
    YOU ACT LIKE IM THE ONLY ONE FUELING THE FIRE
    I said I didn’t want to argue!!!!!!
    You keep in goi g though!
    YOU ARE CONSITENTLY SAYING REALLY HURTFUL THINGS PUTTING ME IN DEFENSE MODE
    YEAH YOU MADEME FEEL DEFENSIVE
    Here you go again
    YOU MADE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF
    WHEN I JUST ASKED YOU A
    WO
    WOW
    OK
    you say things like that
    and wonder why i cry
    and why i get upset
    im going
    YOU INVALIDATE ME
    You continue to try to argue
    YOU MAKE ME FEEL UNIMPORTANT
    you are hurting me
    I’m done going back and forth
    Morning is ruined
    MY WHOLE DAY IS
    i’ll be crying all day
    you dont care
    I’m in a horrible .Ood thank you
    you dont care about me
    you are so mean to me
    i want to die
    what else do i do to make you misterable
    just go then
    leave me
    block me
    You need to be in therapy
    just BLOCK ME
    YOU DO
    go away
    you are hurtingm me
    you kepe hurting me more
    you love to do that
    You don’t respect boundaries
    i said to go
    You are so forceful and pushy
    i am in the middle of talking to you ,its not like you arent talkging to me
    You don’t respect me or my health
    you are asking questiond AND SAYING MEAN THINGS ABOUT ME
    i dont?
    really
    h\
    You removed a message
    just leave me
    i bet you can find someone better
    im a piece of shit to you
    i cant stop crying
    why are you saying these things to me when i just said something made me sad
    when you called i wasnt even mad
    i fell back asleep
    yes i kinda was curious what it meant but i didnt feel lmad
    or upset
    it was the things you said in the phone call the hurt me
    and made me feel like shit
    just go be with someone else
    i wont bug you anuympre
    You need to recognize when I need space and do not want to talk anymore
    YOU WERE SAYING THINGS
    YOU DONT LET ME DFEND MYSELF
    everything you said to me was so hurtful
    and you just expecet me to take it
    just to like agree with you
    How can i feel loving towards you
    when you say things like that
    You provoke me then act surprised when I get mad!
    I DIDNT PROVOKE YOU
    I JUST DID EXACCTLY WHAT YOU SAID
    I HAD A CONCERN AND I ASKED YOU PRIVATELY
    I wasnt even mad when you called
    you just confronted me like it was an arguemtn
    you dont see what you did
    elliot you never KNOW how i feel
    hyou think you do and you’re so wrong
    you think you know everything
    you think i just try to argue
    you dont think that maybe something in the phone call you saaid was really uncalled for and not even the same mood i was in?
    you brought a different mood to the conversation than what i was going for elliot
    you misunderstood my tone or something from instagram and then immediately waere like “why do you send mssageges like that” griping
    like making me feel worng right off the bat
    you cant just ask me what i was confused about nicely
    it has to be like you getting frustrated everytime
    and then i cry because you cant talk about anything without saying im not giving you space
    you have no idea how it was meant to be heard
    I’m not spending my entire day off messaging back and forth with you. You make me feel like I can’t breathe sometimes.
    you are so hurtful…
    okay
    i wont bother you sorry I make you so mad and miserable. sounds like you need to be without me
    You don’t no when to stop.
    instead of spending your whole day why not end it now and be kind
    but no
    you just want ot make me feel worse
    everytime yo usay “yo dont know when to stop I LET OUT A CRY
    AND I CANT STOP
    I’LL STOP
    BYE
    10:58 AM
    you keep throwing out negative things about me and then i say something in return because i am HURT
    and you fucking accuse me of not giving you space
    you say “you keep going on
    You removed a message
    You removed a message
    You removed a message
    you dont see how you were the one who kept saying something hurful KNOWING I WAS CLEARLY HURT ALREADY
    and you like just wanted to say somethign without me responding to it
    that is fucked up
    you keep saying im hurt over nothing (invalidating my feelings again) and you dont even get why im hurt STILL
    you think im going on about the quote but i am just responding to your words!
    and your words are hurtful like “Leave me alone” “you need therapy”
    I have been crying since you called me and when you called me i was happy to talk to you i thought we were going to get along this was not what i was expcting you are grumpy all the time and i cannot say anything to you, remember you got mad not me
    i got HURT
    I GOT HURT by you telling me to lesave you alone and then you just kept sending me mean one liners and i would respond to your messsages, i was not just talking to myself YOU WERE TALKING TO ME

    #323297
    sadgirl
    Participant
    Our most recent argument started out as me seeing a quote he posted on his Instagram about our realities possibly being a hallucination and i sent him a private message stating that does this mean that you think I am not real? I asked the question playfully and never meant for it to be so serious and he called me first thing when he woke up and saw the message confronting me by saying “why would you ask me such a thing ” and I said well because your core beliefs effect me in some way and he said “its not directed towards you” My reply was “I know it wasn’t directed towards me it indirectly effects me I was just wondering what your personal beliefs were in regards to it” and he then says “you just want to argue and accuses me of needing “ALL THESE ANSWERS” And usually I just say ok drop it, but this time I was like “DONT ACCUSE ME OF THAT, YOU ARE WRONG, he would reply”i dont want to argue you woke up mad or whatever and i just kinda kept reinstating what i said “YOU KEEP ACCUSING ME OF THINGS THAT ARE NOT EVEN TRUE’ then he eventually made me feel like i was disrupting his peace of mind and said I am too intense for him its too early and of course i was really happy to hear the phone ring knowing it was him not even expecting this to become a huge fight. I ddint really become that hurt until he said “LEAVE ME ALONE LET ME HAVE A RELAXING WEEKEND” and i am always very affectionate and loving with him, when we argue its pretty intense no abuse phsically though, we both disagree really bad sometimes it hurts me deeply
    well here is the entire conversation :
    ME: you always tell me to leave you alone
    if you say that i will
    you are so mean
    him : you are mean!!!!!!!!!!!
    ME:
    ok
    i wont bother you anymore
    sorry i was just confused
    and i wanted to knwo what you meant and you make me sound so horrible
    i hate my life i want to die 
    just dont call me ever again
    i am going to make sure you dont have to worry about me anymore(I meant just by not answering his calls not suicidal i only say i want to die when i am REALLY HURT 
    he says: you love to argue
    me: i am hurt
    him: you’re always hurt
    me: ok then dont be with me
    him: you’re hurt over nothing
    me: you said to leave you alone on the phone!
    him: something that has nothing to do with you!
    me: its not the quote its what you said on the phone!
    him: because i just woke up and you just wanna argue
    me:

    IT DOESNT MAKE IT LESS HURTFUL
    AND I DONT WANT TO ARGUE
    IT JUST TURNED INTO THAT 
    T DOESNT MAKE IT LESS HURTFUL
    AND I DONT WANT TO ARGUE
    IT JUST TURNED INTO THAT
    because you say things that are not even TRUE you cannot even handle answering me
    him: I’m not gonna argue with you and i dont like the way you’re talking to me!
    me: you just get so mad at me
    him: i am mad
    me:

    all i did was say “that made me sad”
    because i thought you were trying to imply that you think your whole life is a hallucination
    him: i can hardly say anything with you getting bent out of shape (at this point i fel like i would never make sense to him and it was hardly true bc he makes me so happy when we are getting along but when he doesnt see my point he is very hateful)
    me:

    THATS NOT TRUE YOU JUST DONT LISTEN
    you dont listen or understand
    you dont answer me or help me understand nicely
    you just basically make me feel stupid
    and that is your way of settling it
    him: YOU ARE THE ONE THAT DOESNT UNDERSTAND!!!
    ME:

    and then get mad when i defend myself
    I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEANT NOW
    IM HURT ABOUT THE WAY YOU HANDLE IT
    AND HOW YOU TELL ME TO LEAVE YOU ALONE
    him: you are argumentative
    me:

    I DONT EGET HOW IT DID or why YOU say LEAVE ME ALONE
    its you say hurful things
    you dont know how to answer a question nicely if you think its stupid that im asking
    if you dont get why i am confused you answer me like im dumb
    and thats why we argue
    him: because you were attacking me!
    me:

    ATTACKING??????
    I JUST SAID “THIS MAKES ME SAD” AND ASKED IF YOU THINK I AM NOT REAL TOO
    HIM: yes!
    me: it was a question
    him:
    omg jade
    me:

    not an attack
    I WAS EXPRESSING MY FUCKING CONFUSING TO YOU
    I was letting you know that i dont get it and that it makes me sad
    him:
    You are stressing me the fuck out right now!!!
    me: all you do is get frustrated, all i do is stress you out. LEAVE ME THEN
    HIM: Just let me have a relaxing day off
    me:

    that means minus me
    you make that so obvious
    i will leave you alone
    sorry i am too much for you
    him

    Right when I wake up you wanna fucking argue!!!
    The quote has nothing to do with you!!!!
    You make my blood pressure go up
    Wtf now I feel like shit cuz my blood pressure is up
    This is not healthy
    me:
    then go be with someone you love
    go be with someone you like then
    him: You made me sick the way you came at me ( im confused as hell and hurt because i dont know what he means and i feel like he is gaslighting me? like im the one that was hurt by how he came off and reacted to my question it was simply just a private message on instagram in regards to a quote saying : “im not real?: this makes me sad” and then he confronted me very rudely
    ME:

    I feel like you came at me in a negative way
    I feel physically ill too
    I feel physically sick
    I wasnt even trying to argue with you
    you took it too seriously and when you just pop off on me
    i cannot handle it
    you took it too seriously and you make me feel dumb
    him:

    That’s not right the way you do that to me. You don’t listen at all and always draw your own conclusions (once again he is referring to the quote, totally over his head its not about the quote anymore its about how he is talking to me right now and it is getting worse and im hurting worse now) 
    me:

    and i did what you said to do
    and you still get mad
    THAT IS NOT TRUE
    I WASNT EVEN MAD ABOUT THE QUOTE
    I WAS HURT WITH YOUR FIGHTING LANGUAGE
    him: I’m not gonna argue with you (im thinking oh really you seem to be throwing out hurtful remarks getting me all worked up
    me:

    YOU use the most hurtful language
    you say “leave me alone”
    THAT IS WHY I AM CRYING
    AND YOU SAY “YOU JUST WANT ALL THESE ANSWERS”
    i just asked one question
    him: you dont listen to me
    me: I JUST SAID THE SAME SENTENCE NOT TO ACCUSE ME OF THINGS IM NOTN DOING
    him: im done but you keep going! ( when he says you keep going when he is clearly also going it hurts bad, like thanks for invalidating my feelings a tenth time)
    me:

    i was not even mad
    i was getting more and more hurt
    by the way you just have no patience
    you just get aggressive
    him: dont send me 5 messags at once !

    me:

    and it hurts me and we are arguing because you say things like ‘YOu jst want aall these answers and you just want to argue

    him: I Just fucking woke up!

    me;

    BUT YOU STILL GET MAD
    I DIDNT DEMAND ANTYHIGN FO YOU
    I WASNT EVEN REALLY UPSET ABOUT IT ANYWAY
    I HONESTLY WOULDNT HAVE MENTIONED IT AGAIN
    I AM MORE HURT BECAUSE YOU SAY LEAVE ME ALONE AND TELL ME I LIKE ARGUING
    I AM MORE HURT BU THE HTINGS YOU SAY ABOUT ME
    I LOST INTERESTED IN THE QUOTE HOURS AGO
    YOU CALLED ME
    AND I JUST SAID 2 THINGS?
    him: i had to say that because you never listen
    me:

    ON INSTAGRAM????
    I WAS LISTENING
    YOU WERE TALKING
    YOU ACT LIKE IM THE ONLY ONE FUELING THE FIRE
    him: I said I didnt want to argue you keep going though! (he just gets to say that after he clearly hurt me pretty bad
    me:

    YOU ARE CONSISTENTLY SAYING REALLY HURTFUL THINGS PUTTING ME IN DEFENSE MODE
    YEAH YOU MADE ME FEEL DEFENSIVE
    him: Here you go again
    me:

    YOU MADE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF
    WHEN I JUST ASKED YOU A QUESTION
    WOW
    OK
    you say things like that
    and wonder why i cry
    and why i get upset
    im going
    YOU INVALIDATE ME 
    HIM: You continue to try to argue (HE IS JUST A JERK
    me: you make me feel unimportant you are hurting me!!
    him: I’m done back and forth my morning is ruined
    me: My whole day is ruined i’ll probably be sad all day and you dont even care you will just go on your day and forget about me while i’ll be hurt
    him: I’m in a horrible mood. Thank you
    me (by now im just in shock at how hurtful he can be and why is he being so cold
    you dont care about me
    you are so mean to me
    i want to die
    what else do i do to make you misterable
    just go then
    leave me
    block me
    him: You need therapy
    me:

    just BLOCK ME
    YOU DO
    go away
    you are hurtingm me
    you kepe hurting me more
    you love to do that
    him: you dont respect boundaries
    me: i said to go
    him: You are so foreceful and pushy
    me:

    i am in the middle of talking to you ,its not like you arent talkging to me
    Him: you dont respect me or my health

    me:

    you are asking questiond AND SAYING MEAN THINGS ABOUT ME
    i dont?
    really h\

    You removed a message
    just leave me
    i bet you can find someone better
    im a piece of shit to you
    i cant stop crying
    why are you saying these things to me when i just said something made me sad
    when you called i wasnt even mad
    i fell back asleep
    yes i kinda was curious what it meant but i didnt feel lmad
    or upset
    it was the things you said in the phone call the hurt me
    and made me feel like shit
    just go be with someone else
    i wont bug you anymore 
    him: you need to recognize when i need space and dont want to talk anymore (WTF HE KEEPS SAYING THINGS I AM CLEARLY  JUST RESPONDING TO HIM OUT OF HURT)
    ME:

    YOU WERE SAYING THINGS
    YOU DONT LET ME DFEND MYSELF
    everything you said to me was so hurtful
    and you just expecet me to take it
    just to like agree with you
    How can i feel loving towards you
    when you say things like that
    him:

    You provoke me then act surprised when I get mad!
    me:
    I DIDNT PROVOKE YOU
    I JUST DID EXACCTLY WHAT YOU SAID
    I HAD A CONCERN AND I ASKED YOU PRIVATELY
    I wasnt even mad when you called
    you just confronted me like it was an arguemtn
    you dont see what you did
    elliot you never KNOW how i feel
    hyou think you do and you’re so wrong
    you think you know everything
    you think i just try to argue
    you dont think that maybe something in the phone call you saaid was really uncalled for and not even the same mood i was in?
    you brought a different mood to the conversation than what i was going for elliot
    you misunderstood my tone or something from instagram and then immediately waere like “why do you send mssageges like that” griping
    like making me feel worng right off the bat
    you cant just ask me what i was confused about nicely
    it has to be like you getting frustrated everytime
    and then i cry because you cant talk about anything without saying im not giving you space
    you have no idea how it was meant to be heard
    him:
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