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Jana 🪷ParticipantHello Anita,thank you for your answer and online “research”. It’s really true… I think people were really very negatively influenced by the previous regime. And their children born in the 90s became victims of this regime too, even though it no longer existed at the time, because their parents still carried the pain with them…Could you elaborate more on the point you made in your post here: “
when we encounter repeated aggression as children and without correction/ support throughout many years, we don’t heal completely. Part of the damage done cannot be undone…” ? Do you mean it is unlikely to heal completely?And of course, I can give you examples:
We moved to a small village in the countryside 5 years ago. And there is a landfill nearby. One neighbour, a very ambitious and confident lady, has fought against the company which owns the landfill site for years. And she tried to persuade me to fight against them, too. I didn’t agree because her style of “negotiation” was not sensible for me. We knew very well that it was impossible to stop the landfill and we wanted to make arrangements with the company so that they would always inform us in case of any problems in the landfill site. She told me very offended that I was too lenient and weak and that it was basically my fault that this company could continue to run the landfill site here, because if I had been stronger and more assertive, it wouldn’t have happened.
Another example was with another neighbour. She is an elderly lady (70) who lives here alone and she always seemed very sad and lonely to me. She is divorced and her boyfriend left her here. Her son doesn’t like to visit her either. I thought I could help her to become more positive by visiting her, taking care and trying to cheer her up when she fell into her negative mood… However, I found out that she is a very negative, almost toxic, person. One day she started swearing at my boyfriend and I had to leave. It was a bit too much for me and in that moment I just had to go away… I told her later that I would always be there for her if she would need any help in the garden or with cooking etc., but I wouldn’t visit her again as a friend… I just needed to set my boundaries because the negativity was kind of taking over me… And she turned everything against me. It happened in April. She refuses to say hello when she meets me even today.
I also lost two of my students because they both told me that I am too kind and that it was not motivating for them.So, these are the examples.Thank you for reading! 🙂 And I hope you have a nice Saturday!☀️ 🪷
Jana 🪷ParticipantHello Roberta,
thank you for your answer and kind words. Yes, you are right that there are a few Buddhist places in Czechia. However, I haven’t considered attending their meetings yet because they do not provide individual sessions or counseling. Also, they belong to so called “Diamond’s Path” and I don’t know this branch of Buddhism. Do you?
But I do study by myself – I’ve read Dhamapadda, some lectures by Dalai Lama and I follow “Buddhism in English” and “Plum Village” on youtube. I am looking forward to reading Thic Hahn’s The Heart of Buddha’s teaching during Christmas. 🙂
Thank you and enjoy the weekend! 🙂
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Jana 🪷ParticipantHello, it has been long time since you wrote this, but I also could reccommend one book:
https://www.dwms.org/uploads/8/7/8/7/87873912/thich_nhat_hanh_-_the_heart_of_buddhas_teaching.pdf
What have you read so far? 🙂
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Jana 🪷ParticipantHello,
thank you a lot for your kind words. Your message made me smile. 🙂
Can I ask what country/cultural background you are from?
You might be right that the problem could be that I hadn’t had enough contact with children of my age before I had to go to the “children clubs” and school. When I was outside, I usually spent time alone or with kids who were older… and maybe because of that I wasn’t able to join a group of kids or find kids who were similar to me.
Your note about the church is also interesting. Maybe you remember I mentioned that I am from the Czech Republic. The Czechs are confirmed atheists. Actually, I don’t even mention in front of my family that I feel spiritual connection to Buddhism because I would face a lot of criticism, rolling eyes and sceptical remarks. (Only my boyfriend is more open-minded and he likes Buddhism, too.) So, parents didn’t have and still don’t have a chance to let their children spend time with other children in the church if the kindergardens are full.
And it brings me to another point. I couldn’t discuss my awareness of some spirituality in me as a child… there was no one who could talk about it with me. My mom usually chased away my spiritual imagination by saying that it was non sense.
And I really like your words “…not everyone likes peaches. Some people do, others don’t. There is nothing wrong with peaches they are just peaches…” I guess I just need to remind myself of this fact more often. 🙂
Maybe I am thinking about it too much. Maybe it just still hurts me somewhere inside when somebody blames me for being myself. And it is true that it is very hard to be an introverted person in this very extroverted world and to be emotional and spiritual in a society which is very sceptical, pragmatic and materialistic.
Thank you, Helcat! 🙂
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Jana 🪷ParticipantFor me personally, being positive means being able to look at the bright side of the world and take the best out of it.
It is necessary to be aware of the dark side, too. And accept it. Because positive things, feelings, emtions, … cannot exist without the negative ones. Just like the lotus and the mud. 🪷 🙂
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Jana 🪷ParticipantThank you, Anita. And I wish you a nice and calm Friday. 🙂
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