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sparkle00

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  • February 25, 2019 at 2:57 pm #281807
    sparkle00
    Participant

    And hes not intimate with me for the longest time.  He says its him not me. So I doubt his attraction and maybe im a fill in until something better comes along. And he never talks about marriage or nothing. He seems to think that I’m happy just cruising along with no real commitment. To some marriage is not important, to me yes. All these things have driven me crazy and contributed to my problems and our fights.  Im scared that somehow i’m a flatmate and I don’t know it.  I cant even contribute to paying off the house that he calls ours. I pay groceries and bits and pieces. Its frustrating,

    February 25, 2019 at 2:32 pm #281799
    sparkle00
    Participant

    Why cant men be satisfied with what they have. And always try and get their partner to end things. Cowardly custards. And why are they always looking out for someone better or keeping their ex in the background like a backup.  Everywhere we go some girl makes eyes at him. The same type over and over, black hair, pointy nose. His exes all look like that too. So I doubt his attraction to me, cause Im opposite, Im fair,  small nose and round face with blond hair. And why do they give the line, I will be single for the rest of my life without you-righttttt. And if a man is taken, why do single women lower themselves to take happiness away from someone else. Cant they see hes with someone. When we started out he told his exes. Why. One even put her two cents in. Actually she still sends him a email once in awhile. I don’t think he loves me and wants her. Actually I worry she is the one and they will get back together.  I think she is waiting and missed out when she wouldn’t leave her country to relocate for him. The fact is she wouldn’t leave to start another life with him. Doesn’t that say how important he was to her. I would leave mine because I love him and see him as my priority.

    February 21, 2019 at 2:05 am #281129
    sparkle00
    Participant

    So prior to this I’ve been trying to work on myself and not be triggered by certain things. L but this afternoon it became unbearable.  My partner was cooking outside and a woman was playing tennis. He laughed at something she said and this stirred her curiosity. I could see him from the bedroom window. Maybe he wanted her to noticed him. She is completely opposite to me young fit attractive and tall plus loud. Actually she’s there most week days and he notices. I am short, chubby , old and quiet. Anyway it started a arguement and the end of us.

    February 19, 2019 at 1:33 pm #280929
    sparkle00
    Participant

    Also I’ve been going through perimenopause so that’s added to things. When you can’t have children I sort of think he might look else where. I’m the same age as him.

    February 19, 2019 at 1:31 pm #280927
    sparkle00
    Participant

    It’s for nine months I then have the option of going back to old job. It’s full pay hours . I thought then I could find something else. But I won’t be on the clinical floor so I was thinking the nine months away could hurt my chances of getting a new job .

    February 19, 2019 at 10:57 am #280863
    sparkle00
    Participant

    4 years . I’m 39.  I was in a previous relationship where I was dumped all the time. I had no respect for myself and let that person use me for everything. He sexually assaulted me when we first met but I stayed.  He used to treat me like I was dumb so my confidence dropped. Then he dumped me finally when he found someone else and I found the love of my life . My partner treats me like a princess but I cause arguements to see if he truly loves me. When we go out I think he will stray and I won’t have him in my life anymore. It’s causes a panic. I start to become hyper and my heart races, things go through my mind like he’s going to marry someone else etc and I say things like I’m no good, not good enough, you love someone else, you want your old love back.  I’m trying to fix it. By not reacting. I’ve never had someone love me like he does but I’m scared it will end.

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by sparkle00. Reason: Change
    • This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by sparkle00. Reason: Change
    December 16, 2018 at 11:59 am #269485
    sparkle00
    Participant

    Thank you axuda, I have never thought of things like that.  But there’s something more to my story. He’s impotent and I don’t know if it’s due to me like maybe I don’t do it for him. So I feel like im unattractive etc then he is missing out on a full relationship.   Ive started to be shy around him and wont let him see me undressed.   I also feel how can we be strong as a couple because a need is not being met. So I struggle with a) wanting to express my love for him, b) that I’m holding him back c) is his real love out there that will start up his sexual side again and will we became distant and eventually break up.  So most of my anxiety comes from this. I panic and think will he tell me to leave today. Because how can you love someone and remain in love when you don’t sexually express it.

    • This reply was modified 6 years ago by sparkle00.
    November 4, 2018 at 11:18 am #235361
    sparkle00
    Participant

    Not to be rude  however in response to your comment.  Quote: I’m not going to ask you anymore questions because I didn’t give you an answer on a previous thread.  Hello, I don’t have to answer.  It’s not compulsory.  don’t feel your advice is helpful, it’s your tone it’s very off putting.

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 1 month ago by sparkle00.
    November 3, 2018 at 5:32 pm #235287
    sparkle00
    Participant

    Hi Mark, he’s in the forties. He did have sexual desire at the start but it wasnt frequent. I’m happy the way things are but how do I know he’s not out being with someone else. He goes away for work but h tells me it’s just work nothing else.

    October 8, 2018 at 11:31 am #229781
    sparkle00
    Participant

    Thank you, but there’s more to the situation.  For 2 1/2 years no sexual contact (his choice), and this has never changed.  I’m worried that it will continue this way and we will lose our bond. Because we do have one. However he says that he has no urge and it’s not about how he feels about me.

    April 8, 2018 at 5:59 pm #201367
    sparkle00
    Participant

    Thank you.  I grew up thinking I was second best and a horrible unwanted little girl. Then I became a self harmer when I was a teen, very critical of myself.  So ive strugged to just be me and accept that I am okay.  I’m going to beat this 🙂

    April 8, 2018 at 5:29 pm #201357
    sparkle00
    Participant

    thank you 🙂

    August 9, 2017 at 10:01 pm #163224
    sparkle00
    Participant

    Dustin, please don’t give up on yourself. You’re not average and somewhere there is someone lovely waiting for you to come into their world. Start joining a club maybe the gym or go walking where others do workouts.   Start chatting to people.  There’s nothing wrong with being who you are. Take the first step and things will change.

    July 28, 2017 at 7:54 pm #160852
    sparkle00
    Participant

    I know he used to watch porn and I didn’t agree. Maybe because I said that.

    July 28, 2017 at 7:31 pm #160850
    sparkle00
    Participant

    He will never belong to you. Think of his family and wife.  Temptation is everywhere and a strong woman would turn away someone like him.  You will be second best always and probably he does this regular. Please lift up your spirit and a man who is free and right for you will be there. Chat rooms are places where people can fool you and disguise who they really are. Let this person go. What kind of man is married and would do this to his wife and would allow you to be put in this position. He’s second hand goods. My friend once said as women we need to use higher emotional thinking. You are worth more, block this man his morals are low.

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