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MarkParticipant
Selena, Good for you for standing up and protecting yourself. You are not a victim. I hope you are acknowledging that for yourself. Please think of yourself as someone who is a strong person.
I wish you continued courage and strength to make positive changes in your life so you can live a happier life.
Mark
MarkParticipantWe are here for you Mary. Good luck. This dating world can be a rough-and-tumble place. Always respect yourself. Don’t let anyone disrespect you.
- This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by Mark.
MarkParticipantHi Mary,
I do not tolerate people who leave me hanging. I think it is incumbent on the guy to communicate specific plans for the date ahead of time. Otherwise you cannot make plans for anytime during that weekend and be at his beck-and-call.
If I was in your shoes I would text him saying that “Since I did not hear from you for making any plans this weekend, I must assume that you don’t care enough to want to date me. I wish you the best.”
That may sound extreme for some but I see that as an indicator for who he is as the person not showing you the respect or courtesy.
Mark
MarkParticipantThanks for that Peter. What has your experience in picking a partner that reflected your FOO?
Thanks for asking anita. I have moved on from that FOO imprint. I am curious about your childhood and the people you are attracted to as the result of that?
Inky, I agree that it does not have to manifest romantically. I assume that happened to you.
Mark
MarkParticipantHow can you love yourself better Joanna? Can you start/do that? Bit by bit?
Hugs,
MarkMarkParticipantI am sorry for your pain looking4hope. I see pain as a way of reminding me that I am feeling and that I am still alive. I have coped in life by not feeling.
Let me/us know how else we can help and support you.
Hugs,
MarkMarkParticipantI gave my daughter massage gift certificates. She has back pain from a car accident.
MarkParticipantanita,
Reposted under my own name/thread.
MarkParticipantOff topic:
Anita,
I find it fascinating how our Family of Origin (FOO as I like to refer to it) drives our relationships.
I wonder how I would fit in someone else’s attraction to me what would fit in their FOO past.
I know from my past FOO, I was unconsciously attracted to women who had underlying anger toward men. Fortunately I became aware of that and worked hard on all aspects of myself, especially self love to alleviate that.
I see those relationships I attract are an indicator of my spiritual and psychological health.
I feel optimistic from my last relationship by being with a woman was not angry.
Mark
MarkParticipantOkee Dokie cali sister.
I started a new thread in this Forum as Anxiety – What People are Doing About it?.
MarkParticipantThanks for addressing this question caligirl.
I believe there is an epigenetic component which drives the mental disease component.
When I read how you and others struggle with your anxiety, I am pained by your pain.
I admire you concerted effort in helping yourself and how you share your challenges and struggles here.
I am curious what is your ethnic/cultural background. I know how our lives are part of a larger system, not only from our immediate family but our family lineage and ethnicity (epigenetic), cultural influences as well as our biology (genetic).
Mark
MarkParticipantcaligirl,
I thought I’d chime in here even though there is such a long give-and-take already.
I see a pattern of anxiety. Your first post stated that. I also saw someone posted about General Anxiety Disorder.
You are self-aware enough that this permeates all of your life.
I can understand the frustration and pain of your struggle around this especially how it affects your dating life.
I am more curious about how you are addressing your anxiety.
You mention that you and your sister are practicing Cognitive Behavior Therapy with each other.
What else are you doing to help alleviate your anxiety?
By the way, it seems there are a lot of postings on how anxiety cripples and negatively affects our lives.
Mark
MarkParticipantDee,
I have been confused on the different kinds to practice. Here is a link to help explain the differences. Once you decide which on you want to practice, I suggest go to You Tube or just Google for the one you want. Plus there are smartphone apps for it as well.
Om on!
Mark
https://visualmeditation.co/7-types-of-meditation/
MarkParticipantThank you anita for your compliment. Thanks for sharing more about yourself Joanna.
I have found running a great meditative activity. Animals are known for helping anxious people. Therapy dogs are one example. I have a dog myself. They make great running companions.
I want to share what really worked for my anxiety for my running, sitting meditation and self talk helped but still was with me. When I went to a Body Talk practitioner, she helped resolve my anxiety in two sessions. I can give this particular practitioner’s name/website if you ask but you can Google Body Talk to find others out there. Some have a You Tube channel.
Take care,
MarkJanuary 26, 2018 at 6:28 am in reply to: I Have a Real Big Problem, and I Am Not Sure How to Deal With It #189141MarkParticipantLucas,
Good that you are aware of what works for you and what you don’t want for yourself.
I cannot help but notice of all the ideas I gave in my response to your post that you chose to respond to only one which your rejected because it is too uncomfortable for you to try.
It sounds that you’d rather wait for the right person in order to change than do the inner work for yourself. Perhaps what it comes down to is that I haven’t met the right person yet.
You talk about wanting to come across as self confident and self assured and therefore it is too risky to try to be genuine. I know that most people are not fooled by what we try to project and who we really are. Our energy and body language gives us away of what is really going on inside.
Change is uncomfortable and can be scary. Staying in our stuckness is familiar and safe. I understand that being highly anxious is a daunting challenge to do anything.
I wish you well in your journey.
Mark
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