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Brooke

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Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)
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  • in reply to: Confused about which career path to take… need advice! #365814
    Brooke
    Participant

    Hey Rose of Yellow,

    Thankyou for your reply! I really appreciate it šŸ™‚

     

    Iā€™m definitely going to rest haha the career altitude tests and Iā€™m also going to look up and research about indigo Adults… Iā€™ve heard the word ā€œindigoā€ in passing but font actually know much about it!

    in reply to: Confused and in need of a bit of guidance #365813
    Brooke
    Participant

    Hey Anita,

    I did get a reply on my new post which was really helpful and has me researching, however, Iā€™d love to hear your advice on my recent post as well… is that okay?

    in reply to: Confused and in need of a bit of guidance #361615
    Brooke
    Participant

    Thankyou Anita! I really appreciate all your help.

    Ill try my best to take on your advice and see what happens šŸ™‚

    Im currently working on my musical skills so maybe I could eventually start looking at taking that to the stage to get rid of the ā€œshow offā€ personality?

    Again, Thankyou kindly for all your time and effort šŸ˜Š

    in reply to: Confused and in need of a bit of guidance #361524
    Brooke
    Participant

    Oh wow Anita that honestly is spot on. Sorry I know I took forever trying to the main point haha but youā€™ve hit the nail on the head, right down to mum and dad being so busy and stressed!
    Even just talking about it has helped me unscramble my brain/feelings and is helping me understand certain things

    in reply to: Confused and in need of a bit of guidance #361509
    Brooke
    Participant

    1. Just in general I am loud. I would form my own opinions but never really voice them unless I found it necessary. I would just speak loud or say a joke out loud to try and gain attention for a minute or two because my parents are so occupied with everyone else (who can blame them we are a pretty big family!). I also donā€™t have the best volume control with my voice when talking, so when Iā€™m excited my voice gets louder Ā .

    2. I showed off by telling jokes and making people laugh, Iā€™d do something weird like a random dance move or sign something out of the random, something that would make them go huh? But also look at me… Iā€™m not afraid to be in the spotlight but I also know how to share the ā€œstageā€ with everyone. So if only show off a little bit and then calm down to an extent.

    3. My sisters would express their opinion by just saying what theyā€™re thinking/feeling in a rather rude and blunt way. And they wonā€™t budge from their statement until they get what they want. And if they didnā€™t get what they want theyā€™d be cranky or upset all day.

    4. Now that I think of it… no it probably wasnā€™t the best. My mother would eventually come in and lay with me after my dad got angry and either drove somewhere to ā€œcool downā€ or go to bed. She would reassure me that I wasnā€™t going to be sent anywhere and that she loved me.

    5. You have some really good points that I never really thought of… the crying would only happen if a night so during the day they were lovely and so caring (especially my mum, dad was usually at work most of the time… so I have a better relationship with mum then dad but our relationship has grown a bit more now Iā€™m older). I know I get slightly hurt/upset when I see dad being really nice and ā€œplaying fightingā€ with my younger sister now because he never really did that with us

    in reply to: Confused and in need of a bit of guidance #361444
    Brooke
    Participant

    My personality fits well within my family because Iā€™ve become the loud and out there one. My sisters are very quite but also very opinionated and usually get what they want. I found for myself, to be heard I needed to be slightly different, therefore, I became outgoing and loud (opposite of my sisters) so I could be heard/noticed. I also became ā€œeasy goingā€ and didnā€™t form much of opinion again to form around my sisters and not really ā€œmake a sceneā€.
    there whole make a scene situation came about when I was younger, I used to be petrified of the dark, so every night I would cry when going to bed because I didnā€™t like the dark. My parents would get tired of it (honestly donā€™t blame them now), they would close the door on me (making it darker) and I would end up screaming because Iā€™m scared. I never expressed to them when I was younger that I cried/screamed because I was scared of the dark, they just thought I was being naughty. Anyway so my father would come in and tell me that he is taking me to boarding school if I donā€™t stop. I grew out of this at the age of 5, just after I started school.
    So thatā€™s where I think the ā€œeasy natureā€ donā€™t want to make a ā€œsceneā€ feelings come from. And honestly I like that, I donā€™t want to change that. I like being stress less and going with the flow. I also find I probably had a bit of a problem when my younger sister was born (I also have no brothers so just females and my dad in my household) I was 5 years old. So I was getting all the attention when I was younger, and then suddenly my younger sister came along and I was ā€œpushed offā€ to the side and had to entertain myself, as my older sisters paired off and wouldnā€™t usually let me hang with them. So I grew up with a really big imagination , which I still believe I have to this day (I create really big dreams for myself that Iā€™d love to achieve but some seem pretty impossible).

     

    In the ā€œoutsideā€ world I find that I donā€™t fit because everyone these days are very opinionated (especially in my workplace). Everyone seems to be a bit negative and rude to be honest and I find that I donā€™t have much of a negative opinion on things if at all.

    I believe Iā€™m unusual due to the way I think and act. I always Ā have a positive spin to things (again , something I donā€™t want to change), but I donā€™t like usual things other do. I believe Iā€™m more a creative mind, so when finding solutions I find I can be a bit ā€œoddā€ and all over the place and usually do something that no one else would think of? Iā€™m quite mature for my age in some aspects but others I find Iā€™m not? I believe I quite open to everyoneā€™s opinions and outlooks and I choose my own beliefs and values but try to see every side to a story.
    Ive found that Iā€™ve become quite confused on what to say to ā€œnewā€ people when starting conversations, my brain is usually racing of things I can say and things I shouldnā€™t say and then the worrying thought of ā€œwhat if they think Iā€™m oddā€… I then become overwhelmed and ā€œshut offā€.
    I believe the negative thought of ā€œwhat if Iā€™m weirdā€ comes from my old best friend telling me Iā€™m weird/different all the time and she would usually say it in a negative tone (Iā€™ve now discovered that she was a very toxic person but sheā€™s already done some damage…). My new best friend is just like me with the way I think and accepts my strange ways and is usually really open to everything I say. The area in which I live and grew up in have a certain mindset and mentality that everyone tries to fit (a mindset and personality that I myself do not like)… so maybe I feel weird and different because I donā€™t conform to that (and honestly I donā€™t ever want to…). Iā€™ll wear things (like a mike wazowski purse I got in Disneyland) and while I donā€™t believe thatā€™s different and I should be able to wear what I like, certain people would comment and say I must be ā€œbraveā€ to wear that out or I must have a ā€œstrongā€ personality to wear it…

    I still want to be different from others, it makes life more exciting and different. Maybe I myself am not the full problem… maybe the area I live in is?

    Iā€™ll see you in 13 hours Anita šŸ™‚

     

     

     

    in reply to: Confused and in need of a bit of guidance #361439
    Brooke
    Participant

    Hey Anita!

    Thankyou for your analysis, itā€™s actually made the once blurry picture slightly less blurry. I get what youā€™re saying and Iā€™ll have to do some reflection of my own to figure out how to reform myself and personality… Iā€™m someone who doesnā€™t like making decisions and usually leaves it up to someone else. Do you have any tips or tricks that could help me recognise and find this ā€œnew personality/selfā€?

    in reply to: Confused and in need of a bit of guidance #361361
    Brooke
    Participant

    See you in 13 hours time Anita!

     

    To add to it a little… I find that I donā€™t ā€œfit inā€ with people where I live, so when I say ā€œtry to act that way in societyā€, I find that I canā€™t really be myself in society… like I feel like myself when Iā€™m with my family but I try to change myself to suit what I think others want me to be…

    I just want to be able to be my usual bubbly outgoing self again without worrying what others will think and just honestly be carefree… I find Iā€™m always worried what others are thinking of me (hence why getting a boyfriend is also daunting to me because Iā€™m scared people are going to talk about me and ā€œmake fun of meā€? Itā€™s weird I know but I just seem really unsure in that way) I try my hardest to not think about what others will think about me but I canā€™t help it… I believe thatā€™s what stops me from starting conversations with others that I donā€™t know as well. Ive become quite socially awkward and Iā€™ve become very aware of it so I have two sides fighting with one another, one side of my brain saying that everyone is judging me and Iā€™m embarrassing myself and another side saying that I shouldnā€™t care what others say and that Iā€™m doing my best… itā€™s weird and very confusing haha

    I really appreciate your help šŸ™‚

    in reply to: Confused and in need of a bit of guidance #361347
    Brooke
    Participant

    I think I get what youā€™re trying to say… I would say that itā€™s probably true!
    I would say that yes Iā€™ve adjusted to my family in one way and now that Iā€™m older I try to act that way outside of my family, in society, and being like that has caused some hiccups?

    in reply to: Confused and in need of a bit of guidance #361340
    Brooke
    Participant

    Thankyou for replying Anita… itā€™s kind of nice being able to talk to someone!

     

    My childhood was amazing! Iā€™m the second youngest out of four girls living with both my parents who absolutely love each other. I get along with my sisters really well, always have.
    I was and still am know as being the outgoing and slightly show off type in the family… but Iā€™m also known as the easy going one. Iā€™m used to just following along and doing whatever everyone else wants, never really putting my opinion forward because I donā€™t mind and honestly donā€™t want to make a scene.
    I had a really close best friend when I was younger, we would do absolutely everything together! We started having problems around grade 9, when she started ignoring me and hanging out with other people who didnā€™t like me and then when she got a boyfriend further ignored me…

    I am very very family orientated, so to me I find having a boyfriend will fracture my relationships with my family and friends (probably because when all my friends get boyfriends they stop talking to me…) I like to be independent and do my own thing with out much commitment…

    I have also been told that I can be quite an emotional person, I pick up others emotions very easily and tend to hold onto their emotions long after I meet people.

    I have found over the last 2-3 years I have really reverted back into my ā€œshellā€ and my once bubbly and very outgoing/easy going personality only comes out when Iā€™m in a comfortable social setting (eg. With my friends or family) and it has had a toll on my relationships at work, I just find it hard to start up a normal conversation because my brain is telling me that ā€œI never used to be like thisā€, ā€œwhat if you say something weirdā€, ā€œYou used to be so outgoing now look at you…ā€, and a lot of back and forward like that which then leads to me not really starting conversations or talking, which is silly. Because I love to talk and make friends and thereā€™s part of my brain telling me to stop being silly and that I havenā€™t changed and if I come off as a little weird or unusual to them then who cares, because at the end of the day itā€™s who I am so they can like me or not….

    I really appreciate what you said because I honestly feel like thatā€™s probably true, I think Iā€™m in slight denial and not allowing myself to move on because Iā€™m honestly scared of adulthood. And Iā€™m return itā€™s now having negative affects on my life and social life, I believe itā€™s the cause for my sudden low self esteem as well!

    Again Anita, I really appreciate your help! Itā€™s nice to be able to ā€œoff-loadā€ for once and have someone caring listen and try to help me.

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