Can not blame yourself for the actions of another. Say, another person is a thief. You are not that person. He may have stolen from you but you are not to blame for the theft. So, this person came back into your life and you fell for him. Only to learn the truth later. You are not to blame. But, you should learn that your actions carry weight, consequences. After this, talking or writing will release some of the tension from this situation. Later, you must let it go and not bring it back to mind. Stay in the present moment and the thoughts will occur less. The memory will fade. (of course, easier said than done).

What comes to mind is a scene from a movie. The man cheated on his wife. He says to his wife that the affair with the other woman did not mean a thing to him. The wife replies, you threw away our relationship for something that meant nothing to you. Which means that their relationship is equivalent to the affair he had, meant nothing. If you value something then do not throw it away for something else that means nothing. Well, enough from me. Wish you happiness.

Last night, a got a pain in my lower right back. Not new to back pain, I tried to ignore it. 8 hours later, took my daughter to school. Came home and that is when the pain really kicked in. Nothing helped. Finally decided to go to the ER. Surprisingly, waiting there, the pain slowly went away. After 6 and a half hours of waiting and tests, turns out to be a kidney stone. 3mm. My notion of truth was pain and suffering are a great motivator. I realize I do not have a lot of time on this earth. And if there was anything to bring meaning to this life, I hope it would be to become more open minded, more mindful, help others, and be good to my family and friends. Buddha said something like this all that one is .. is a result of everything one has thought. Time to see the truth.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Tommy.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Tommy.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Tommy.

This society we live in .. is very body conscious. But, this doesn’t mean you need to go thru surgery to look nice. One does the best they can and hope for the best they can. Accepting oneself is the first step to finding the right person. When one is comfortable in one own skin then other will sense that and be comfortable hanging. Be open to love and hopefully love will come. Of course do not be shy. Present oneself and ones feelings. Good luck.

Whether anyone will find the right person for them is a battle of odds. Sometimes one gets lucky and sometimes one doesn’t. But, one should always try. Someone said, it is better to love and lost than to never have love at all.

Lost in one’s thoughts and setting up rules, as others who will not become to be called friends. No wisdom and no compassion. But acts as one who knows. This is the monkey mind tending to its own needs and protecting it realm. Buddha asked if one has seen the infirmed, sick and old. And does one realize that one will become as such. That there is presently no escape from getting old and dying. Life is suffering. It happens again and again. The cause of suffering is the clinging, attachment to this material state. There is a path to liberation.

So what does a person want when they ask the question of what is positive to you? And does not listen to the answers? Then, states that he does not like when people act fake? Sounds like a person trying to polish a roof tile into a mirror. It is not possible to make something with what one has. But, this is my own opinion.

As being positive, to me, means that one proceeds in doing right or proceeds in acting in good faith regardless of what one believes the outcome to be. Now having an attitude of good cheer or depression or sadness … that is more of how one feels about one’s life and its predicaments.

Note: Being rude or being honest??

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Tommy.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Tommy.

A person wants stuff. When he doesn’t get it, he suffers. If he gets it then the satisfaction doesn’t last long. It becomes what is the next thing that will make him happy. This is the pattern. And, when a person has these thoughts for years, it build momentum. It develops deep roots and seems to take over. The first noble truth, life is suffering. What is the truth about suffering? And can one escape or become free from suffering? What is the path to liberation?

Being polite and being genuine are not opposites. And being positive is not thinking everything will go the way you want it to. Being positive is doing what you think is right regardless of what you believe the outcome will be. Being positive is doing. Not thinking or believing or wishing. Stop judging people and accept there are all different kinds of people in the world. That was my two cents. Sorry that it does not mesh with your views.

Zen monks who travelled the land would often stop at Zen Buddhist temples looking for a place for the night. At times, there would be a sort of Zen Dual. If the travelling monk could defeat the temple representative in a silent battle of Buddhist thoughts or understanding then they would be allowed to stay. One day, there was a travelling monk looking for a place to stay for the night.  The Abbot, who was very busy at the time, assign his pupil to go greet the monk. His pupil was a rather large fellow who only had one eye after losing the other eye in a childhood accident. So, he goes to the entry way and greets the travelling monk. The Monk bows and then puts up one finger. The abbot’s pupil bows and puts up two fingers. The travelling monk then bows and walks away. The Abbot sees the travelling monk and asked him what had happened. The monk said that he put up one finger to show the we are one with the world. Then the abbot’s student put up two fingers to show the duality that we all live under. Therefore, after having loss, the travelling monk was leaving. A little later, the Abbot saw his student and asked him what had happened. The student replied that the monk was very rude. He held up one finger to show me that I had only one eye. So, I held up two fingers to congratulate him on having two eyes. Then he turns and runs away. If I find him I will beat him up. The Abbot just smiles.

It is easy to misunderstand people cause we are into what we believe is going on. The truth is sometimes a little harder to see. I wish you happiness in your journey.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by Tommy.