Just so I’m clear – did she tell you at the time that she needed you to be there for her and work on that future? Or is this what you’re been able to work out after the breakup?

Anger is “good” – you’re on the way out of depression. Unfortunately, anger is one of the easiest emotions to feel, so don’t be surprised if it comes spilling out quite irrationally for a while.

This might help:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

I’m so sorry you’re in such pain. You can love a lifetime in a month with the right person. What you had must’ve been very special.

This is exactly what I’ve experienced after coming out of depression (and an unhealthy relationship) – it’s good, but it’s like I don’t remember how to enjoy myself! I think of it as being like a soldier coming home from war, or a convict released from prison – it’ll take a while to adapt to civilian life. First time I picked and enjoyed a film at home for myself was like a lightbulb going off 😀 Small steps, we’ll get there!

I have been in a similar situation with a friend. Can I ask, is it tobacco he’s smoking, or is he using marijauna? There may be some psychological damage from these unhealthy relationships, but in my experience, a drastic personality change is usually caused chemically (or by some unresolved childhood trauma resurfacing, but you haven’t mentioned anything like that)

As to your current situation, perhaps there’s a way you can bond with your brother without taking him too far out of his comfort zone? Are there TV programmes, films or sports that you could watch together with a bowl of popcorn or something? When initiating this, ask once, but when he declines (he probably will the first few times) don’t push the point – just say “Okay then” or similar and do the activity anyway. If he sees that the activity will continue whether he’s there or not, this takes the pressure off him and he’s more likely to engage.

Once you start being able to engage together, then positive energy will follow

This is something I’m struggling with a lot too! I find it very hard to know the difference between seeking out companionship in a healthy way, and when I’m just being overly needy. So I have no advice unfortunately 🙁 But I am reading along and empathising!

If you’re heart’s not in the relationship, then it’s probably best you leave rather than stay for fear of never finding anyone “better” or more suited to you. In the long term, being in a relationship where he is the one that loves more is probably going to hurt your partner more than the relationship ending. It’s been said many times that until we can learn to be happy with ourselves – and this includes giving ourselves ample time to mourn previous relationships – then we will never be happy with anyone else.