Thank you aliceinwonderland. It’s exactly what you mentioned. He wants to play safe. Just to update. I decided to severe contact with him and explained him that friends with benefit is out of my understanding. He wants to be friends, but the fire would ignite again and then I would be emotionally involved, which is highly draining, so I decided to put a stop to it.

Anne,
Yes it was an affair for me. Family commitment in India means he would marry a girl of his parents’ choice, of their caste, which they approve of. And to be stay with parents to take care of them until they’re alive.

@xwhy

I don’t have words to express… This morning I was heading to office with mind full of thoughts and your post just read my mind. Each day this guy makes me feel and think different. One day I’m more than a friend and the next day he doesn’t have a girlfriend. It’s really too much to take. And as you correctly said, I don’t need this. Before I met this person, I could scream and shout with a content heart that I’m happy. I don’t have that energy anymore, in just 15 days.

And I actually felt like a puppet, to behave in a way I know what am I for him, only to know later that it’s different each day. I now recollect, when asked who am I for him, his voice went SO low, I could bearly hear him, shows the level of commitment!

I did what I felt like, asked him to drop his plans to meet over the weekend. Just can’t handle the feeling of being used by someone. To justify, I told him I cannot see a direction (forget about having a future) to this unnamed relation! There is no reason for me to invest in it.

Thank you xwhy for your words 🙂 So here’s the latest update… It’s been 2 weeks that he is in regular touch with me, all day long and I can see the caring part from his end… Yesterday I asked him, where do we stand and he admitted that we are more than friends but he wants me to go slow and doesn’t want me to be hurt later. I could interpret this in 2 ways: 1) He is not keen on commitment. 2) He is being practical and doesn’t want to commit blindly, esp. at this stage which is too early to say anything. But he did say we’re more than friends. He will be coming to spend this weekend.

Some clues that I have is he likes to see me smiling, concerned about my safety to return home, in touch all day. But I’m not sure if I can rely on these for long. And to the FWB concept, he said he wanted to confess it, since he wanted to be open, not that he wants this with me. In one of the conversations, he mentioned me as ‘someone special’. I’m gathering all possible small clues from all sides possible….:-)

Sometimes, my mind runs in all directions, and then I try to slow down. Think I should give it a try, what say?

Thank you Moon, Anne and ALN… Appreciate your time and effort to share your views!

He was desperate yesterday to talk on Skype, once on Skype he started talking that he wants to come to me…I got the point and ignored diverted the topic. He asks me if any guy hits on me, I’m surprised he can laugh it out and not feel an inch of jealousy or disturbance… What kind of human is this?

While disconnecting he said something and I took the opportunity to tell him upfront, that I don’t understand FWB concept nor I would want to get into it. As I’m only a friend, to have some respect me and treat me like a friend… I’m a human and not an object. Took out all the frustration on him…To end, he says all the best for all future endeavors…Crap! I said I already know this from him!

This morning, he sends apology message and asking me to acknowledge. Don’t know what exactly he wants.

Thank you Tiny Butterfly, Inky and AikiBen for your response.

In this guy, What was appreciable was that he was upfront with me with what he wanted and not someone who would manipulate to get things done. Also, he said clearly, to be friends and meet over a coffee, for he enjoyed deep conversations with me.

However, what sends many clues is:

1) After 4 years, he was bent upon to see me even for an hour, lied to his best friends and came for coffee, which later turned into overnight! Just a friend would do this? and not knowing the person much.

2) He feels sorry for being too fast with everything that happened and ensures to not come to my place and meet outside.

3) He will be in different city for the whole week, ready to come over weekend if I’m free, for now I have denied it. And constantly pinging for some or other reason, to be in touch. Does a guy who would just want sex would care to be in touch, could as well be he is needing attention….May be he noticed that I was getting emotionally attached to him and likes to be wanted? Wants to see me on Skype every night. Gets restless until I reply his messages.

Thank you for reading…