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AlfParticipantJust want to say thanks to Casey. This topic has just made me realize where I’m going wrong in life!
AlfParticipantSometimes friendships run their course. It’s part of life and we all tend to make friends with people who, in some way or other, benefit us or offer us something (even if that’s just making us laugh and having fun). So don’t be afraid to end a friendship which has run it’s course.
That said, make sure it has first, and don’t be afraid of speaking your mind to her too – she may need to hear how selfish she is before she becomes a “better” person, and who knows that “better” person may be someone who you really like and want to be friends with.
AlfParticipantYou’re only seeing others as better than yourself because you’re judging them and yourself against false standards set by society and drongos in general. No one should ever feel useless or inferior to any other human because there is no right or wrong, there’s just situations and adaptability – E.G. today’s image based standards say being fat is “wrong”, yet only a few hundred years ago when food wasn’t plentiful being fat was “right”.
So try and avoid comparisons and ignore these standards as the majority which usually set them often change their mind anyway. Just try and calm your head of thoughts, center yourself and embrace your passions. You’re still young and life is all about being the best you can and being all which YOU are. Concentrate on fulfilling that great potential and ignore what others would think or make of it, in 5 years time their standards may not even be relevant.
AlfParticipantWhy the need to force things? Just accept what he says and carry on as usual. in time things may change so you get closer, alternatively you may tire of him. I really don’t see the logic in throwing it all away and putting yourself through hurt, just out of the fear of being potentially hurt?
AlfParticipantConversations with God – Neal Donald Walsch
AlfParticipantSometimes people never agree, some like the movies, others like TV. Some take things serious, others take them light, you can go to bed early whilst your partner likes to party all night. Some like it quite, some like to shout, but then you get those people together and it just all works out.
AlfParticipantHi Lilly,
For me, a few simple steps are needed for you to start on your road back to happiness –
1) Accept where you are now, it’s unfortunate but you can’t go back and change things;
2) Stop thinking of life as some type of reward system (deserving better/worse), it’s just not true and doesn’t work like that. Putting everyone first is as bad as putting no-one first. All you can and should be doing is taking each action/decision/day as it comes, and listening to your heart when making these decisions. Not basing them on what society deems is good/bad;
3) The only reason you’re saying you can’t heal and can’t move on is because you’re not choosing too. Now this really isn’t easy, and sometime it takes a long time to do, but the best/speediest way to do this is by indulging in the positives, passions and desires you have in life. It may take years, but life’s really all about being true to who you are, and you need to be that before you find the right person/situation for you (or else you find a person/situation which is good on paper, but which you actually end up miserable in – like your original one with the husband), so concentrate on that first.You’ll get there. 🙂
AlfParticipantReally enjoyed reading that Dan, simply because it’s a perspective I share and have been contemplating too (incidentally my real name’s Dan too lol)
For my money if I were you I’d start by just following your passions and true desires. A lot easier said than done, but listening to the heart and not the head is something which I’ve found needs to be done in situations like yours.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 