I just saw this post from OP. I was wondering how he/she is doing. I had a similar experience, alot of trauma. I was born on a Good Friday into a dysfunctional Catholic home that morphed into a JW one. Studied Bible intently read it 6 times ny age 16 before I realized it was a cult. Then lost my entire family (mom/brother) by 19 yo to death and mental illness (mom-spiritual awakening?) . Due to multiple traumas, left religion, took a dark path for awhile. Then I prayed in my garden for a spiritual path back to the light. My devout Catholic husband landed smack dab on my path. Reluctantly joined the church and confirmed Easter Sunday ironically also my b-day. Had 2 kids. Severe distress again later 15 yrs later. I surrendered to the Cosmos/God, whatever, done trying to make my own happiness.  Vision at the foot of the cross with Jesus and infused with a love impossible to describe. Compelled to read Bible for 7th time. The evening I finished Book of Jude before Revelation, awoke to kundalini awakening. There were some other moving pieces too I just did based on intuition, ditching flouride, grounding gardening (now know when the moon was in my sun sign), journaling, light fasting. Never practiced Eastern spirituality or yoga. Did do 3 rounds of acupuncture at tailbone due to terrible sciatica down legs from blocked energy likely from injury as a kid there. It never ascended beyond solar region though. Just feels like a large lump pf energy in my belly that whirs and tickles at times. I have lost many previous passions, desires, even taste and smell. Life feels fairly dull, strong service to others but never any bad thoughts. The Catholic church teaches 2 dark nights, dark night of the flesh and dark night of the soul. I just want to know why the hell I am here. I’m curious about everyone else’s experiences.  I have heard both ends of the spectrum. Some say it’s demonic. Others say it is simply the vehicle to higher consciousness.