About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
what if someone is not able to get over his/her ex since 4-5 years? How can we convince ourselves that it was a gain and not a loss. It’s easy to advice others but it’s not that easy practically
I’m so sorry to hear about how you’ve been struggling, Diksha. I don’t think there’s any one answer for how to get over a breakup, since we’re all different. But it may be helpful for you to check out this post I wrote, which includes what helped me get over my hardest breakup:
http://dev.tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-a-past-relationship-10-steps-to-peacefully-move-on/
Sending good thoughts your way…
Lori