
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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I just want peace, happy times, and people that love me by my side.
Have you heard of the four-burners theory, Lori? It says that we can have only two of the four (work, family, friends, health) to become extremely successful. We have all seen successful people struggle to take care of their health and family when they get extremely involved in their work.
Yet, time and again studies prove that happiness is other people. About doing good and building strong relationships. When I look back on my life, I wouldn’t compromise the time I spent with my friends for anything. Although, there’s always a longing that you could have done more and squeezes a little more ‘success’ and ‘achievement.’ I know that desire is frivolous – so don’t give much headspace to it. Would love to hear your take on it!
I haven’t heard of that. I’m with you – I prioritize the people I love above all else. I didn’t always think that way, mainly because I felt this need to prove my worth through success. But the more I healed, the more I realized that nothing matters more than my relationships, and I don’t have to prove anything to be worthy of other people’s love.
Makes sense, Lori. Like that you used ‘healed’ as the expression for become mature 🙂 Thanks for answering.
You’re most welcome! For me, it was all about healing, as I felt unworthy as a direct result of abuse and negative conditioning from my childhood. I suspect this is true of most people who become fixated on outward success.