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Category “Quotes”

Tiny Wisdom: People Who Want Attention

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“You validate people’s lives by your attention.” -Unknown

For as long as I can remember, wanting attention has seemed like a shameful thing.

“She’s only doing that for attention.” “He’s only telling that sob story for attention.” “She only volunteered to help for attention.”

Have you ever said or heard something like this? I know I have. Many times throughout my life, I’ve analyzed people’s words and actions and essentially judged whether or not their intention was to hoist themselves into the spotlight.

Every time I’ve done this, somewhere inside me I’ve thought, “It’s bad to be desperate for attention.” …

Tiny Wisdom: The Myth of the After Picture

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“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” -Anais Nin

It’s a seductive image—the idea of when you “get there.” What you’ll look like when you lose the weight. How your life will change when you achieve success. How everything will improve when you’re finally happy.

I first began chasing “after pictures” when I was a chubby 12 year old kid. I was convinced that slim felt like peace, and I found …

Tiny Wisdom: Getting Our Own Approval

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“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” –Mark Twain

I currently have three inch dark blond roots growing into my golden hair because I’ve decided to go natural after a decade of consistent coloring.

I’m wearing large pink flower earrings that make me smile, even though they don’t really go with the yoga pants and tie-dyed hoodie I also felt like wearing.

I’m viewing my laptop through slightly crooked glassed because I sat on them two weeks ago, but they’re still functional, and I’d rather spend my money on new initiatives for this site.

In the past, I …

Tiny Wisdom: Knowing Why We Pull Out Our Gadgets

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“Self knowledge is the beginning of self improvement.” –Spanish Proverb

As you may remember from my post on Monday, I recently received an invitation to attend a live taping of an Oprah’s Life Class webcast.

I knew it was an interactive self-help experience, involving questions from the audience and people who Skyped in. It sounded right up my alley.

Before the taping, a woman led me and other bloggers to a reserved row and then gave us network information so we could tweet or Facebook from our iPads, iPhones, or laptops.

I only own a laptop, and I didn’t …

Tiny Wisdom: Why We Sometimes Don’t Accept Praise

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“Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it.” ~Jess Lair

There was a time when I could turn almost any positive feedback into something negative.

I don’t know if this was my attempt to confirm my unworthiness or my belief that people were usually hurtful, but I had a knack for distorting people’s words to avoid accepting praise.

If someone found me after a play and said I was a talented singer, I wondered if she was really thinking about my subpar dancing.

If a teacher told me that I showed promise and …

Tiny Wisdom: It’s You

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“Make the best use of what is in your power and take the rest as it happens.” -Epictetus

The one you’ve been waiting for to tell you what to do—it’s you. You’re the only one who knows what’s right for you in this moment.

The one you’ve been waiting for to fix your problems—it’s you. You’re the only one who has the power to change what isn’t working.

The one you’ve been waiting for to make the pain go away—it’s you. Whatever you’re holding onto, only you can let it go.

The one you’ve been waiting for to give you …

Tiny Wisdom: When Instincts Aren’t Enough

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“Never ignore a gut feeling, but never believe that it’s enough.” -Robert Heller

A while back, a friend of mine called me crying because of a huge disappointment in her life. She made a bold decision based on gut instinct, and then expected that everything would work out as she envisioned it because she felt so certain it was the right choice.

I think what hurt her most of all was the realization that nothing is certain. Following your instincts to leave something doesn’t guarantee it will be easy to find something else. And knowing that something feels right doesn’t …

Tiny Wisdom: It’s OK to Say No

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“Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.” ~Josh Billings

Sometimes I feel immense pressure to do all kinds of things I don’t want to do. The reality is, I often put this pressure on myself. I think about the things I should do. Or the things I think I should want to do. Or the things other people might expect me to do.

And all this thinking can drain me—before I’ve gotten a chance to do anything. This is basically choosing to create anxiety where there …

Tiny Wisdom: Letting Go of the Stress of Rushing

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“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.”  ~Will Rogers

It was like a scene in a movie. I was waiting to cross the street while pedestrians were crossing the perpendicular one. A number of cars were piled up, with drivers waiting to turn when the people made it to the sidewalk.

Several impatient drivers honked, as if they didn’t understand why the first one wasn’t going. So that first guy stuck his head out his window and yelled at the pedestrians, “Come on—hurry up!”

Then …

Tiny Wisdom: Sharing Moments with Strangers

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“If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world.” -Francis Bacon

The other day, I visited a new doctor, and noticed the nurse who took my vitals seemed somewhat withdrawn. He didn’t make eye contact while taking my pulse, or engage in conversation. While I realize a medical appointment is not a social outing, I got the sense he was going over something in his head, and I found myself wanting to connect a little.

So while he was taking my blood, I asked, “Do you ever get squeamish when doing …

Tiny Wisdom: Being Honest About What You Want

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“Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.” -Walter Anderson

One of the biggest challenges in my life has been understanding when I’m doing something because I want to, and when I’m doing it because I’m scared to do what I really want to do.

I am someone who can easily spend huge chunks of time alone. I enjoy eating out by myself, sitting solitary in parks to people-watch, and roaming around my neighborhood with only my internal monologue for company.

As a writer …

Tiny Wisdom: There’s More Right Than Wrong

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“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.” -Marianne Williamson

Every now and then, I ask Tiny Buddha Facebook friends to share things they’re grateful for. I do this because I know that I sometimes forget how many things I’ve valued and appreciated throughout the course of my day–especially if I feel I’ve dealt with a lot of stresses and worries.

It can happen to any of us: Even one especially difficult encounter or situation can overpower all the good things if we’re not deliberate about recognizing them, and realizing …

Tiny Wisdom: Focusing in the Middle of Chaos

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“Concentrate all your thoughts on the task at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.” –Alexander Graham Bell

I’m sitting smack dab in the middle of chaos. There are half-packed boxes, plastic bags full of clothes, and an assortment of decorative items I’ve yet to pack scattered around my living room.

There’s a stack of random items on my kitchen table—toiletries, paint brushes, marbles, things that don’t belong. For some reason I can’t recall, I rested a number of soup cans on the floor in front of two beach chairs that now lean against my …

Tiny Wisdom: All Is Never Lost

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“In this world of change, nothing which comes stays, and nothing which goes is lost.” -Anne Sophie Swetchine

I used to make a wish whenever it turned 11:11. It was something I started doing with friends in high school, and I kept doing it in college, a time when I depended on magical thinking to get me through difficult days.

I remember when my first long-term relationship ended, after three tumultuous years. I felt like I lost a part of me—the best part, to be more specific. My saving grace was the hope that we’d eventually get back together, if …

Tiny Wisdom: The Sacrifices That Lead to Happiness

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“As long as you make an identity for yourself out of pain, you cannot be free of it.” -Eckhart Tolle

This weekend, a reader presented an interesting question about letting go of old beliefs and attitudes to make room for happiness and open up to a relationship.

He suggested that this would require a lot of sacrifice on his part, and would leave him humbled and lost—as if he’s somehow “giving in” and losing touch with who he really is.

He asked how he can reconcile the instinct to change with his resistance to becoming something he is not.

I …

Tiny Wisdom: What Wise Ambition Means

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Buddha

“Of course there is no formula for success except, perhaps, an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings.” –Arthur Rubinstein

Can ambition and wisdom coexist? Can you simultaneously want something specific and drive yourself to create it while accepting that what will be, will be?

The other day, a reader emailed asking this question—if he can motivate his team at work to “do whatever it takes” to reach their goals, and also teach them to embrace the idea of surrendering.

At first glance, these two ideas seem conflicting. Implicit in the suggestion to “do whatever it takes” is the …

Tiny Wisdom: The Best Disappointments

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“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” -Dalai Lama

Opportunity often hides in the most unlikely places, but it isn’t easy to see it when you’re disappointed life didn’t meet your expectations.

Michael Jordan’s high school coach cut him from the basketball team, which may have pushed him to work harder and become an NBA superstar. Soichoro Honda wanted to be an engineer at Toyota until he was rejected, inspiring him to start his own company.

You never know when a disappointment might pave the path for something great. What wonderful stroke of …

Tiny Wisdom: Addicted to Change

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“You change your life by changing your heart.” -John Porter

I’m addicted to new and different.

I’ve been like this all my life. In my mid-20s, I toured the United States with marketing companies, in large part because everything was always new.

New cities. New work venues. New yoga studios. New restaurants. New hotels. New beds. New people. And I thought, a new me in each new environment.

It felt much easier to be present in my daily life when my surroundings and circumstances were constantly changing.

If ever there was something that weighed on me, I could metaphorically leave …

Tiny Wisdom: How We Want to Be Loved

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“Love does not care to define and is never in a hurry to do so.” -Charles Du Bos

Love is a tricky thing because it’s something we both give and receive—and yet it’s so much easier to dwell on the love we’re not getting than to recognize the love we’re not giving.

I used to have a simultaneously broad and narrow definition for love. Broad, because it encompassed a vast number of idealistic guidelines, and narrow because these limiting rules quickly labeled most relationships loveless.

If someone didn’t seem to offer me their unconditional understanding, or if they appeared to …

Tiny Wisdom: Letting Other People Dictate Your Choices

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“Don’t think you’re on the right road just because it’s a well-beaten path.” -Unknown

The other day, I watched a fascinating documentary about behavioral economics—a field that considers how mental, emotional, and social factors influence money-related decisions. Traditional economic theory emphasizes rational thought as the basis for financial decision making.

In the beginning, researchers hosted an auction for a $20 bill, starting the bidding at $1. The twist was that after the highest bidder won the $20, the second highest bidder would need to pay his or her losing bid.

If the participants were thinking logically, they may not have …