Category: work fulfillment

8 Ways to Turn Disappointment into Meaningful Success

“Don’t let today’s disappointment cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dream.” ~Unknown

Have you ever looked back on your life, exactly a year ago, and felt amazed by how much has changed?

Last year at this time, I’d only just started this site and I was competing in a blogging contest. Ignite Social Media, the marketing company behind the mood supplement SAM-e, had come up with a clever crowdsourcing campaign to generate awareness for the product.

In the beginning of the fall, they advertised a contest to win a dream blogging job. The winner would get a six-month contract to write one short daily “good mood” blog post—as well asa new laptop and $5,000 per month, totaling $30,000.

In order to win, candidates needed to get enough votes to be in the top twenty—out of close to a thousand people—and then needed to get even more votes in a second round that involved a video.

At the time, I was still collecting unemployment after being laid off earlier in the year. I was also putting all my heart into building Tiny Buddha around the ideas of wisdom and happiness and running my old blog, Seeing Good.

I knew Brigitte Dale was in the running. In case you aren’t familiar, Brigitte Dale is a popular vlogger who used to make videos for ABC Family. I wasn’t certain if I—or anyone—had a chance up against a bona fide web celeb who could clearly bring in big traffic for SAM-e. And then there was her obvious charm—even I fell in love with her watching her videos.

Still, I was going to do everything in my power to try. The judges said ultimately they would choose the winner, regardless of who had the most votes, so I reasoned that it was anyone’s opportunity to earn. (more…)

November 28, 2010
Desperate to Be Seen: Learning to Shine a Steady Beam

“If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

While in the process of “re-branding” my business, I’ve been reading a lot about business marketing. One of the articles that I really loved contains an analogy of a lighthouse for a business model, but to me, it speaks of so much more. It’s really a life model.

The example highlights how a lighthouse doesn’t run up and down the coast, anxiously seeking any boats in the water. It doesn’t cast its beam north and south, right and left, desperate to be seen. It isn’t frantically searching for every possible boat, screaming, “Let me help!”

What it does is remain steady, naturally drawing attention to itself by consistently beaming the same message “I am here.”

By remaining true to its purpose, the lighthouse guides the boats that need its direction. When they need it, they find the beam. There are no swaying lights and mixed reference points to confuse the other boats not needing direction. Everyone’s needs are met.

A challenge in my business life has been to remain true to what calls to my heart—to trust there is a need for my work and that my clients and I will find each other. To have faith that connections are inevitable. To stay focused on where I know I fit and not jump on every marketing bandwagon that rolls into town.

But I think this need speaks to such a greater challenge. It reminds me of the trust it takes to stay consistently in our personal truth, to be who we are we openly, to send a steady beam knowing that this is enough. (more…)

November 17, 2010
Baby Steps: A Simple Guide to Doing Something New

“It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward.” ~Proverb

Two years ago, after hearing Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project, talk about setting up one’s own blog, I went home and did just that. It had been something I had thought of doing, one day, when I would get over my “fear” of technology and decide I can do this.

Her talk made it sound so easy that I sat down and went for it. And I did it; I set up my own blog on blogpost. I was quite proud of myself. Within the next couple of weeks I wrote a couple of posts. And then I got stuck. I didn’t know where to go from there, what to focus on, what direction to take.

Month after month went by and I didn’t post. I had only done three postings in total. It actually felt burdensome having it up there but feeling paralyzed about continuing to post.

After about a year, I decided to get it taken down. I felt relieved that it was off. My leap into the blogging world had sent me springing backwards. I was not ready for this. It required a commitment of writing consistently and with a focus, neither of which I had at the time.

But it was definitely something I wanted to come back to again, one day. I didn’t feel like I was barking up the wrong tree but rather I needed to backtrack and take more preliminary steps towards this goal. So I started reading lots of other blogs and posting comments on them, Tiny Buddha being one of them.

I’d even get comments on my comments, which was exciting to me. That gave me a boost. I wrote a couple of online pieces for newsletters. That was a win for me. And then I noticed the submissions statement on Tiny Buddha and figured I’d give that a try. (more…)

November 2, 2010
10 Happiness Tips for Busy People: How to Reclaim Your Joy

“Life is what happens while you are making other plans.” ~John Lennon

I am someone who enjoys doing a lot of different things, and yet I don’t always enjoy being busy. Sometimes when my schedule gets full, I feel almost as if I’ve lost a part of me.

Just like some people become codependent in relationships, I can be codependent with work. When it has my attention, everything else can easily fall to the wayside—my social life, my hobbies, you name it.

It’s all too easy to get caught up in a riptide of doing without ever evaluating what you’re sacrificing, why, and if it’s actually in your best interest.

Sometimes it is worth it, though you might need to make minor adjustments to enjoy the journey more. Other times you need to make major changes to experience the happiness you might think you’re chasing.

Here’s what I’ve been doing to ensure my busy-ness doesn’t compromise my happiness:

1. Assess just how busy you’re willing to be.

Research indicates that a key indicator of happiness is the distance between the hours you’d like to work and the hours you actually do. If you don’t want to work more than forty hours per week because you have a hobby you’re passionate about, but you’re working over three hours more than that, you will inevitably feel dissatisfied.

In some cases, this may be beyond your control. If you just can’t afford your mortgage unless you push yourself, that’s one thing. But sometimes you do have a choice; you just think it’s too difficult to make it. Downsizing or moving into a new place may seem like an unnecessary hassle, but it’s worth the uncomfortable transition if it allows you to do with your time as you’d like. (more…)

October 24, 2010
5 Ways to Push Through Discomfort to Make Positive Change

“Don’t let today’s disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dreams.” ~Unknown

One of the most difficult parts of reaching your goals or making positive change is pushing through discomfort.

This is where a lot of people give up—when the process inspires all kinds of challenging feelings.

If you’ve quit your day job to pursue your passion and after six months you need to sell your car to keep going, a cubicle may appeal to your need for security.

If you’d like to get your masters degree but received rejection letters for the fall, your ego might tell you not to reapply.

If you’d love to let someone into your life but you’re afraid of being hurt, you may bail at the first sign of conflict.

Maybe your will is strong enough to clear emotional hurdles without flinching; but odds are, you’re at least a little familiar with that nagging inner voice that says, “Go back. It’s too hard. It’s not worth it.”

Except it is. According to the video 212 degrees, the margin of victory for the last ten years in the Indy 500 has been 1.54 seconds. The margin of victory in all major golf tournaments in the last twenty-five years was only three strokes.

The day you give up could easily be three strokes before you succeed. Even if your future doesn’t unfold exactly as you’d planned, you’ll never regret what you become through the process of following your bliss.

Now it’s just about how. How do you separate yourself from your fears so they don’t sabotage your efforts? How do silence that inner voice and force yourself to keep taking step, after step, after step? Here’s what I’m working on now: (more…)

October 14, 2010
How Planting a Seed Can Change Your Life

“To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.” ~Unknown

There are certain events that can rock us to the core: starting a new job, moving across the country, ending a relationship. Within the past three months, I’ve experienced all three of these things.

For someone who is resistant to change, it can be difficult when everywhere I look there’s a new sight to take in, new people to meet, and even a new industry to learn.

Type-A to the bone, I’ve always wanted control over a situation.

When I was seven years old I took a trip in the middle of a teeth-chattering Montana winter with my grandparents to our cabin in the wilderness. We had plans of eating our picnic food that Grandma and I had carefully prepared while sitting next to the fire and playing our favorite card game involving pennies.

Imagine my surprise when after a major snow storm, ten feet of snow greeted us when we arrived and blocked our way into the cabin. “This doesn’t fit my picture,” I told Grandma.

Fast-forward eighteen years, and here I am at the age of twenty-five. During another winter trip (this time for New Year’s) to my family cabin, my then-boyfriend and I sat next to each other in the car driving and talking about our goals for the upcoming year.

I had a really big one (find a new job) and one that I thought would be easy (learn to adapt to change). Little did I know that the seemingly hard one (getting a new job) would come easier than I thought, and the little easy-peasy one would be the biggest struggle I faced this year.

The one thing I can tell you about my resistance to change is that it feels like surrendering to a lack of control. It’s very similar to letting go in many ways, which I feel goes hand in hand with a resistance to change. (more…)

October 10, 2010
Finding Joy in Frustrating, Routine Activities

“The greatest obstacle to connecting with our joy is resentment.” ~Pema Chodron

Today, I hopped in the company van for a trip I make once a week with one of two primary clients. In the mental health division of my company, driving is a requirement. Most of the clients don’t drive, and they need coordinated transportation to and from their appointments and leisure activities.

This particular woman goes to visit her husband weekly because she hopes to live with him when recovering from her mental health diagnosis. I’ve been taking her on this trip for several months now, and it’s a two-hour round trip ride.

I usually fill this trip with aggressive, speedy driving and impatience at every red light. I pass the time with work-related conversations, both to ensure I drive safely and to address work-related issues with this client.

This time, however, I chose a different route, and I’m not referring to the roads.

First, I thought of a recent conversation I had about hating driving. I enjoy all other aspects of my job, but work-related driving bothers me because the clientele controls everything about it. They choose the radio stations, the route to drive, and the time to leave; and they frequently make impromptu requests to other locations, sometimes in a dangerous way.

Next, although somber sounding, I started thinking about people who have passed away. (more…)

September 30, 2010
Mindful Technology: Simplify Email & Reduce Inbox Stress

Up until recently, I received communication online in ten different places.

In addition to getting messages through Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and StumbleUpon, I got emails through six different email accounts. I have not always managed this ever-flowing stream of information in the most mindful and productive way.

Studies show that we actually get a little endorphin rush when something new pops up in the inbox. It’s almost as if an email, direct message, or blog comment confirms that we’re important—that someone somewhere values us and needs our attention, expertise, or approval.

I’ll admit it: I enjoy seeing there’s a new comment on something I’ve written, and I love when someone sends me an email telling me how deeply Tiny Buddha has impacted them.

But I’m not a big fan of spending my whole day reacting to things popping up on my screen; not when there are so many more efficient, fulfilling ways to spend my time.

Recently I’ve been making some changes to create a more mindful online experience, less dictated by other people’s requests and feedback.

If you also need a little help managing your stream, I recommend the following. (more…)

September 29, 2010
Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

“The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” ~Unknown

This is a phrase that had become a central theme in my life. One night, during one of my all too frequent bouts of insomnia, I sat at my computer and decided to write about my discontent, my middle aged angst.

I have no idea where the words came from, but once I typed the first sentence it was like a river overflowing its banks. Turns out, this was the key, the cure for my crisis. Yes, I am forty-two and a walking cliché, a woman on the edge, a burned out physician whose career has become all consuming.

I have always been an artist at heart. Nothing moves me more than music, art, books, anything that is the product of the creative process. I actually had dreams of being a theatre performer. But for whatever reason I never believed I had enough talent.

No, my lot in life was passionate bystander. So of course I went to medical school. This was a perfect way to please my parents, to defend against financial insecurity, to prove to anyone in doubt that I was indeed intelligent and successful.

See, the thing is I took a path that seemed right at the time—and who wouldn’t want a career chosen by a seventeen-year-old kid?! I followed all the rules. I listened to my parents; I behaved myself and embarked on a life that was clearly meant for someone else. (more…)

September 27, 2010
Zen Business: the Eightfold Path to Peace and Productivity at Work

“We must never forget that it is through our actions, words, and thoughts that we have a choice.” ~Sogyal Rinpoche

Our work lives are made up of a million tasks, relationships, deadlines, duties, commitment, and goals. We are often at a loss as to how to communicate difficult news, create consistency, or even just feel less stressed during the day.

When we work with teams, we can find ourselves trying to be the best to the detriment of the whole or we start gossiping in the break room, even when we don’t want to do those things.

In my years of working with management of large corporations, community groups, non-profits, and small businesses, I have seen some deplorable communication skills, folks ripping each other apart to get ahead, and teams clueless to their impact to the larger project or individuals. There has to be a better way.

When I was managing a creative group in San Francisco, I found it difficult to deal with the ups and downs of a changing workplace (this was just after the DotCom bust). It was especially challenging because I wasn’t skilled at addressing the raw emotions of workers who were undergoing work and family stress.

This led me to seek a meditation teacher who could at least share some wisdom about finding balance on a black cushion sitting on the tiled floor of a church basement.

It was in that first introduction that I realized that I lacked a guiding set of rules for dealing with my staff, coworkers, clients, and management. Learning about the ideas inherent to the Eightfold Path I was able to start the timid steps towards a new way of communicating and finding balance both at work and in the rest of my life.

I did it through the idea of Zen Business. (more…)

September 24, 2010
How to Regain Control of Your Time & Your Life

“Life is a choice.” ~Unknown

I’m virtually broke, but I’m still enjoying life. How is this possible, you ask?

True happiness comes from having much less than you think you need. Growing up, I wouldn’t say that I had an abundance of toys. By normal standards, my family was just getting by with what we had. The bills weren’t just going to disappear, and there were three other young mouths to feed. It was either use my imagination to escape my reality or die of boredom. Which choice do you think I made?

When You Separate from Your Stuff

In escaping my reality, I found myself taking on a whole new one.

No longer was the day boring because the toys I had were old and worn. Suddenly, the little apartment we lived in turned into a massive playground where my siblings and I could play hide and seek. We could build forts. We had water fights using plastic cups and the kitchen sink. Through this I learned that life didn’t have to involve boredom, and it didn’t have to include suffering.

It could be exactly how I wanted it to be. (more…)

September 22, 2010
Do, Adjust, Do: A Journey to Meaningful, Satisfying Work

“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” ~Proverb

I couldn’t drive, drink, vote, or stay out after nine, and yet I had two jobs.

I started working just before I turned twelve. My parents didn’t have a lot of money, so I knew early on I’d need to work if I wanted to do fun things, like go to music camp.

After school, I went to a program for kids where I led them in creative activities, like singing and arts and crafts. On the weekends, I ran the dozen counter at my family friends’ bagel shop.

I haven’t stopped working since I was twelve, and at times I’ve held more than three jobs at once. To some extent, it’s because I’m resourceful and ambitious.

But it’s partly because I’m one of those people who refuses to spend forty hours a week doing something I don’t love. So I end up spending sixty hours doing a combination of things, some I adore and some that allow me to do those other projects.

I have a lot of friends who work jobs they loathe, some in corporate environments, some in retail, and others at start-up companies. Though the atmosphere and job descriptions vary, they all involve eight-plus hours a day, work that doesn’t satisfy them, and steady paychecks that justify it.

When I chose to study writing and acting in college, I assumed it would all work out when I graduated—that I’d instantly make the right connections and fall into the perfect life.

Once I was in the real world, my confidence started to falter. I felt overwhelmed when I realized I’d have to struggle, and I began talking myself out of my dreams. (more…)

September 12, 2010
A Year of Tiny Buddha and a New Design!
Happy day! As you can see, tinybuddha.com has a new design.

Earlier this week, I mentioned I was excited to launch this new site in conjunction with the one-year anniversary.

In that somewhat long post, I announced three book giveaways I planned to conduct in celebration, outlined the milestones from Tiny Buddha’s journey thus far, and listed the most popular posts in multiple categories, including:
- Happiness
- Fun
- Relationships
- Mindfulness
- Passion and Purpose
- Being Good to Yourself
- Change
- The Beauty of Life
- Peace of Mind
If you haven’t already, you can read that post here.

If you have already seen it, you’re ready to learn about the new features and developments on tinybuddha.com.

1. New Logo

Joshua Denney, who has done all of Tiny Buddha’s design work, and Rose Hwang created the fun new logo. It works well in so many different colors!

2. Mindful Reading Icon

At the end of every post, you will notice a small silhouette of a Buddha holding a book. This is what I’m calling the “Mindful Reading” icon. This symbol is meant to be a visual cue to remind you to “read what you need.”

It’s all too easy to get lost in the web. You visit a blog to find one piece of information and before you know it, you’ve hopped to six other posts and forgotten what you came to accomplish. At least, that’s been my experience.

Reading multiple posts isn’t always a bad thing, but I think it’s important to be mindful of our reading habits so we don’t end up learning more often than we apply.

The symbol is right underneath the share buttons–get mindful after you share. =)

3. Fewer Blog Categories

Prior to the re-design, the site had over twenty blog categories. Those have now been narrowed down to eight, including:
- Happiness/Positivity
- Living Out Loud
- Love and Relationships
- Yoga/Meditation
- Mindfulness
- Healthy Habits
- Mindfulness in Work
If you’d like to share a post for one of these categories, check out the submission guidelines here.

4. Sponsorship Opportunities

You’ll notice there are several spots on the new site where you can feature your brand, including the right-hand side bar and within the blog and quote feeds. If you’re interested in sponsoring Tiny Buddha, contact me at email @ tinybuddha.com for additional details and rates.

This will allow us to connect with relevant brands while supporting the site’s future growth.

And here we are! I hope you enjoy the new layout.

Many thanks to Joshua Denney of Think Web Strategy for his efforts in creating the site’s new look. He has been working diligently behind the scenes for months, and I am forever grateful for all his time, passion, and attention. I also look forward to working with him on some upcoming projects, to be announced soon.

Thanks to Michael from Pliable Press who built a WordPress theme that is clean, easy to use, and perfect for Tiny Buddha.

And lastly, thanks again to everyone who has made Tiny Buddha a part of their lives. I am forever grateful that you choose to be a part of this community. Thank you for being you and for being here.
September 9, 2010
Approaching the Site’s 1-Year Anniversary (Giveaways!)

It’s a pretty exciting week in Tiny Buddha world. Several months back, I decided to have Tiny Buddha redesigned.

Well, we decided. There is an amazing man named Joshua Denney who has done a lot of work on the site.

It’s through his passion, expertise, and hard work that we’ll have a completely new design at the end of this week.

One of the reasons I’m excited to launch the new site this week is that Thursday is the site’s one-year anniversary.

With that in mind, I’ve decided to do a few things:

1. Conduct a series of book giveaways leading up to the anniversary/redesign.

2. Highlight some of the milestones from the first year’s journey.

3. Share some of the most popular posts from the year past. (more…)

September 6, 2010
On Fearing Change: When It’s Time to Take a Leap of Faith

“Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” ~Unknown

There are two basic human emotions that are the driving force behind each thought, each daily inspiration, and that rare but pivotal new-chapter, life-changing decision. Those things are fear and love.

The funny thing, however, is that they are intertwining forces. In order to feel passionately about something, fear and love must coexist.

One year ago I made what some people would consider an irrational decision. I had a great job, a flexible boss, and rainbow-colored work walls, to boot.

I had a circle of close-knit, happy-hour-loving girlfriends who brought overflowing amounts of joy and adventure to my life. Together we’d paint Los Angeles red, fly to Chicago on a “girls’ trip” whim, and celebrate each other’s birthdays in Las Vegas.

Within our friendly beach-side neighborhood were my favorite Thai restaurant, faithful yoga studio, and the best omelet breakfast spot within a five miles radius of each other. My adoring family was a short one-hour Southwest flight away, so I could always access TLC from mom and dad.

I was comfortable, I was happy, but most of all I was where everyone wants to be—safe. (more…)

August 26, 2010
4 Life-Changing Lessons I’ve Learned from Running Tiny Buddha

“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.” ~Rumi

I have been working on Tiny Buddha for over two years, and yet I’ve rarely written about my experiences running it.

I haven’t told you anything about my own challenges, opportunities, and lessons in maintaining the site, and it occurred to me today that that might be valuable information.

You probably have a Tiny Buddha in your own life—something you created that you’re absolutely in love with. Or maybe you haven’t found it yet, but you want to build something that drives you like nothing else.

Tiny Buddha has been that for me, and I’d like to share with you a few of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned along the way: (more…)

August 12, 2010
Mindfulness in Everyday Tasks: How to Get the Most from Your Chores

“Smile, breathe and go slowly.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Last night I did something I rarely do. Drum roll please…

…last night I cooked.

Okay, to be fair, I more prepped than cooked. But my willingness to participate in this domestic ritual, with my boyfriend at the helm, was certainly not the norm. Neurotic as I may be with organizing and cleaning, cooking has never been my thing.

For starters, I’m cheap with food. I’d rather spend money on books and pedicures than saffron and truffles. I realize I could channel my inner Rachael Ray and learn to make budget-friendly meals, but an even easier approach is to make full use of my Subway rewards card.

It’s not just my aversion to spending on consumables that attracts me to cheap take-out and cereal. It’s also a matter of priorities.

I look at the day as blocks of time—much like Hugh Grant in About a Boy. Left to my own devices, I fill those blocks with tried-and-tested activities, like writing, reading, watching movies, and practicing yoga. Suffice it to say, cooking isn’t on my list.

I know I enjoy my world better when I make little changes to my routine—when I take alternative routes to familiar places or make spontaneous plans with old friends, for example. But sometimes I need reminders to do things differently.

Tonight’s reminder brought me to the cutting board, and I must admit I enjoyed it far more than I would have imagined. (more…)

July 27, 2010
6 Timeless Principles to Deal with Resistance and Excel in Life

“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.” ~Chinese Proverb

I wasn’t the best student in college. I skipped classes, didn’t do my assignments, and barely studied for my tests. Needless to say, I flunked those exams.

I realized after a few months that I didn’t want to continue on like this. If I wanted to make the most out of my life, I had to first be responsible for my studies.

So I buckled down and set out to achieve the best results. It wasn’t easy, and I’m not talking about the studying part. There was resistance all around me.

First, my schoolmates weren’t the most positive people in the world.

My college was one of the poorer performing schools then. Many students weren’t happy studying there as it wasn’t their first choice. They often degraded themselves, saying “we’re doomed for failure.”

If that wasn’t enough, my teachers were discouraging; too because many were disgruntled about working there. They kept comparing us with the students from schools they taught in before—the better schools—saying we’d never get anywhere.

I decided to ignore the negativity and spend my energy working on my goals. (more…)

July 11, 2010
8 Ways to Be More Confident: Live the Life of Your Dreams

“With realization of one’s own potential & self confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.” ~Dalai Lama

For the vast majority of my life I didn’t believe I could do most of the things I wanted to do.

I knew I wanted to be in a relationship, but I feared that if I got into one I’d do something to mess it up.

I wanted to perform on Broadway, but even moving to New York City didn’t give me the courage to audition.

I wanted to be a writer, but I thought it was far too difficult to get published and therefore didn’t even try until my late twenties.

Maybe you’ve never been as unsure of yourself as I used to be, but you can likely relate to that feeling of wanting to do something but feeling terrified to start. This not only limits your potential in life; it also minimizes your ability to make a positive impact on the world around you.

There’s a lot that goes into overcoming those fears. You may need to challenge limiting beliefs formed years ago, or take yourself out of a situation where other people undermine your abilities. One thing that will definitely help is working on your confidence.

Not sure if confidence can be learned? I asked this question on the Tiny Buddha Facebook page to see what readers had to say and then used some of their responses to shape the steps outlined below: (more…)

July 6, 2010
A Simple Guide to Achieving Personal Greatness & Living with Purpose

“He is able who thinks he is able.” ~Buddha

The world has given us many outstanding people.

Although we possess our own unique talents, we look to leaders and mentors as models of action and success. They represent unlocked potential, perseverance, and shining lights for us to follow.

Since all paths are unique, we can’t follow exactly where others have been, but we can learn from their examples of confidence and dedication. It’s the difference between saying, “I want to be like Oprah Winfrey” or saying, “I want to be outstanding in my own right, like Oprah Winfrey.”

There are some, like Oprah, who can step out and shine despite hardship and extraordinary challenges. But most people who struggle with self-doubt, fear, or harsh circumstances remain stagnant.

It’s not enough to have the dream. It has to be accompanied with a strong belief in your own potential and a spirit driven to meet it. (more…)

June 29, 2010