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Category “mindfulness & peace”

How I Stopped Feeling Hopeless and Healed from Depression

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“Abandon the idea that you will forever be the victim of the things that have happened to you. Choose to be the victor.” ~Seth Adam Smith

I come from a history of abuse and mental illness on both sides of my family. I felt the effects of both growing up. By my twenties, I was a mess.

I suffered from wild mood swings and severe depression, either lashing out or completely numb and disinterested. I was using alcohol to numb myself from reality, and it was only a matter of time before I’d end up in jail or dead.

I …

How to Instantly Calm Yourself in Stressful Situations

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“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~Viktor Frankl

There’s a big lie we tell ourselves during stressful times.

It keeps us feeling lost, afraid, and unloved, like we’re being picked up and carried away helplessly by a storm.

Our heads can fill with scary images, words, and stories about the cause and who is to blame for our unwanted pain.

Sound familiar? If it does, you’re not alone. You’re normal. This is how humans biologically respond to stress.…

The Power of Doing Nothing When You’re Frustrated or Anxious

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“This ‘doing nothing’ is not a cold, passive resignation, but is a luminous, sacred activity, infused with presence and a wild sort of compassion. It is a radical act of kindness and love.” ~Matt Licata

I am storming home after work.

The important men in my life are driving me bonkers—they’ve been self-important, disrespectful, condescending jerks.

My dad doesn’t see the value in the work I do, and my partner blew off our date to take an important phone call. My younger brother leapt off of the phone with me, which he’s been doing every time I’ve called in the …

How Dealing with Our Emotions Can Help us Heal Chronic Pain

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“The part can never be well unless the whole is well.” ~Plato

Our bodies are clever. They constantly send us messages that something isn’t right. It’s our job to tune in, listen, and act on these messages.

That headache, tight shoulders, and backache are all trying to tell us something. But sometimes the physical symptoms we experience are actually tied up in a deeper emotional pain that needs to be dealt with first.

How do I know this? It was a message I needed to learn, one that I now teach to others.

Six years ago my life fell apart…

When Mindfulness Hurts: Feeling Is the Key to Healing

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“You start watching your breath and all your problems are solved. It is not like that at all. You are working with the heart of your experiences, learning to turn towards them, and that is difficult and can be uncomfortable.” ~Ed Halliwell

Can mindfulness be bad for you?

I had been expecting it: Once you become a regular at it, mindfulness permeates all aspects of your life.

I only sit in meditation for twenty minutes daily (and a full hour on Sundays), but I carry its effects with me the rest of the time, elevated levels of awareness and all.…

How to Feel Good Enough (When You Feel Anything But)

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“There are plenty of difficult obstacles in your path. Don’t allow yourself to become one of them.” ~Ralph Marston

I recently had a personal conversation with someone who was describing some struggles they were experiencing. In passing, they mentioned “It’s okay for you, you’ve fought your battles” and went on to talk about how I’m married, I’m working in a career I love, and I’m “successful.”

Listening to them, I could feel my heart breaking, partly for them: I know what it’s like to compare my insides to someone else’s outsides and find myself severely wanting.

But I …

Calmness Is Contagious, Even If You’re Faking It

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“Peace of mind is not the absence of conflict from life, but the ability to cope with it.” ~Unknown

We had just reached cruising altitude, and my friend and I were settling in for the eight-hour flight from Tokyo to Honolulu. Exhausted after spending the day in the airport, we were excited to finally be in the air with beaches awaiting us at our destination.

Jered and I were on an adventure around the world flying with standby tickets to any destination that had open seats. Even though we had been trying to get a seat to Bangkok, then Sydney, …

21 Easy Ways to Create a Calm Mind (Without Meditating)

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“Learn to calm down the winds of your mind, and you will enjoy great inner peace.” ~Remez Sasson

While juggling a full-time job and my writing, I found it easy to lose track of the days. Weekends ceased to exist and my life ebbed and flowed between working and writing, the two constantly blurring into one another.

I dragged myself from day-to-day without a moment’s rest in between. When I did rest, I’d feel guilty for taking a break from working on my dreams, and it didn’t take long for the guilt to turn into frustration.

I wondered whether I’d …

20 Life Lessons I Learned In My Twenties

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“The Universe is not outside of you. Look inside yourself; everything that you want, you are already that.” ~Rumi

I remember when I was a kid, “thirty years old” sounded very old and mature. “Someone who is thirty clearly knows everything about life and has it all figured out.” That was my assumption.

Life taught me that not only thirty-year olds, but most people in general have no clue what they’re doing with their lives and why they’re here.

Although I’m far away from knowing all the answers to life’s biggest questions, I feel like my twenties have been such …

How to Raise Your Self-Esteem So You Can Thrive in Life

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“Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.” ~Iyanla Vanzant

Aren’t you tired of it?

You know, that sneaking suspicion you aren’t enough.

That inner commentary about where you fall short all the time. The mean internal remarks about your ability to handle life and how you just don’t measure up.

And aren’t you fed up with how it’s been holding you back from pursuing what you truly desire?

A better relationship or more meaningful …

Release the Stress: Plan, but Know That Plans Change

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“Failed plans should not be interpreted as a failed vision. Visions don’t change, they are only refined. Plans rarely stay the same, and are scrapped or adjusted as needed. Be stubborn about the vision, but flexible with your plan.” ~John C. Maxwell

This year started as a complete mess for me.

After a five-week holiday away from December to January, it was difficult to get back to London and into the swing of things. Not only was I still in holiday mode, but I also came back without a plan.

I am at a point in my life where I …

8 Simple Ways to De-Stress and Rejuvenate When You Can’t Take a Vacation

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“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” ~Ajahn Chah

It’s a common theme—jobs keep piling up, new problems arise, and deadlines are nearing. Taking time out for yourself to de-stress and rejuvenate is so far down the to-do list you don’t even consider it a possibility.

But the long-term effects of putting yourself last are real, especially because they take a while to show. They creep up slowly until one day you’ve burnt out.

When I was in this position, it didn’t …

Stop Worrying About Being Good Enough and Start Accepting Yourself

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“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”~Anna Quindlen

“I’m not actually happy,” I heard myself saying.

They were words I hadn’t yet admitted to myself, but I found myself sharing with a friend and mentor several years ago.

At the time, I was deeply identified with living a happy life. I was also deeply identified with the views of what you might call a cult, something I’ll explain more in a moment.

I was always working on bettering myself, and I devoted my life …

Coping with Anxiety When People Aren’t There for You

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“People aren’t always going to be there for you. That’s why you need to learn to handle things on your own.” ~Unknown

Anxiety is a box around your mind. It’s the cage in which your deepest worries start to pace, then walk, and gain momentum until they’re out of control.

Once these worries and scenarios take off and hit the walls of this box, they’re trapped, and tension starts building.

It can be an exhausting cycle of stress that you might think you have to face alone if you want to avoid opening yourself up to pity or rejection.

You …

How to Move Through Anxiety: A 5-Step Process for Feeling Unfelt Emotions

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“Anxiety happens when you try to think what you need to feel.” ~Unknown

Anxiety results from unfelt feelings. I battled anxiety for years because I was scared to admit that I was scared. When I felt a wave of anxiety, I would harden myself like a concrete pillar and refuse to be moved. I thought this made me strong, but it halted my emotional progress.

I didn’t have anxiety until my last major breakup four years ago. I was ashamed to consider myself weak, so I hid the pain in the back of my mind like skeletons in a closest.…

Whose Mind Is It Anyway? Get Out of Your Head & Into Your Life (Giveaway!)

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Note – This winners for this giveaway have been chosen. They are:

  • Stephanie
  • Kait Husmann

A few years back, Tiny Buddha contributor Lisa Esile wrote a post about negative thinking that was incredibly eye opening.

Titled 3 Reasons to Stop Worrying About Your Negative Thoughts, her post suggested that instead of trying to suppress negative thoughts or replace them with positive ones—as conventional wisdom suggests—we should observe them, choose not to believe them, and let them naturally pass.

Brilliant, I thought. Don’t feel bad about the thoughts that go through your head (which adds guilt on top of the …

7 Tips to Help You Scale Back on Social Media & Reclaim Your Time

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“Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.” ~Theophrastus

We’ve all been there.

We’re supposed to write a paper, send an email, do our job!

We have deadlines, places to see, people to meet, and yet we find ourselves (for the umpteenth time) perusing our Facebook timeline, scrolling our Instagram feed, or catching up on Twitter updates.

Whether it’s YouTube, Facebook, or Twitter, we are all experts at self-distraction, and we wonder where all that time goes!

It’s actually getting a bit scary. Social media addiction is a real thing, and research from the University of Maryland shows …

8 Meditation Mistakes to Avoid if You Want to Feel Calm and Peaceful

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“Three things you cannot recover in life: the word after it’s said, the moment after it’s missed, and the time after it’s gone.” ~Unknown

Do you meditate?

I do. I come from a Buddhist family, and meditation is like an heirloom to me.

I didn’t start meditating until I was an adult. But when I did, I meditated diligently. From forming a meditation habit to getting the latest meditation app, I’ve done it all.

And one day I got a little worried.

I didn’t feel much difference. I didn’t feel calm and peaceful like I was supposed to feel.…

Learn to Reduce Stress: Mindfulness eCourse by Thich Nhat Hanh

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Stress can be overwhelming, and sometimes crippling.

Not only does stress suck the joy out of our days and keep us awake at night, it can also take a toll on our bodies.

Headaches, chest pain, digestive problems, hair loss—they’re all potential consequences of stress, not to mention serious conditions like heart disease and diabetes.

Then, of course, there are mental consequences. We feel anxious, restless, and irritable, and often scared and discouraged. Like there’s too much to do and we don’t have enough time or skills to do it.

Everything feels urgent, like life is a series of catastrophes …

A Simple Way to Calm Yourself When Feeling Strong Emotions

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“This is the root of Self. You are not your thoughts; you are aware of your thoughts. You are not your emotions; you feel your emotions…. You are the conscious being who is aware that you are aware of all these inner and outer things.” ~Michael Singer

I sat across from my colleague with a growing sense of discomfort. I had accepted an assignment from the boss, but I heard from my colleague an undercurrent of questioning and uncertainty—or so it seemed. It was so subtle that I couldn’t quite tell what was going on.

Did she not believe I …