Tiny Buddha

Category: meaning & passion

  • The Top 10 Tiny Buddha Insights from 2012

    The Top 10 Tiny Buddha Insights from 2012

    Buddha

    Happy almost 2013!

    It seems like just yesterday I wrote “Happy almost 2012!” before summarizing the top lessons from 2011.

    I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions, as I like to think that any moment is an ideal time to make a change, but I always appreciate looking back and recognizing progress and growth.

    The site grew by leaps and bounds this year, surpassing two million monthly page views. However, what I’ve found most exciting is the increased interest in contributing to the blog.

    Each month, I’ve received more submissions than the month before, but what inspires me isn’t the number of posts that people have submitted; it’s the honesty and passion that people have put into them.

    Ultimately, I think we all want more than knowledge; we want to know that we’re not alone, and we want not just to be helped, but also to help others.

    I’m proud and grateful that this is a space where we can all do both—where we can connect with each other based on our shared experiences and feelings, and can both learn from each other and share what we’ve learned.

    The top ten insights from posts written this year (based on page views and comments) include: (more…)

  • 35 Simple Ways to Be Beautiful

    35 Simple Ways to Be Beautiful

    Beautiful

    “Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.” ~Sophia Loren

    Even though I got Joey McIntyre from The New Kids on the Block to sign my scoliosis back brace in the sixth grade, I still felt ugly wearing it.

    I didn’t realize the irony back then, but in retrospect it seems a little funny that I grew crooked considering I convinced myself I was wilting in my sister’s shadow. (I also had braces and headgear, but that’s another story.)

    I was a kid who wanted to be beautiful, but more desperately wanted to feel loved. My self-esteem increased through the years, but I never quite shook the sneaking suspicion I’d never be beautiful enough. Or maybe lovable enough.

    It would be easy to blame it all on society and the Kate Moss era of modeling, but I think it’s more than that. I just never learned to notice and appreciate all the beautiful things about myself. The stuff that had nothing to do with my waistline, skin tone, or eye lashes and everything to do with who I am.

    I never learned to give myself the credit for all the good I do in the world. I was too busy cataloging my weaknesses, mistakes, and flaws to recognize it.

    It seems like such a cliché to say that pretty is as pretty does, but the truth is, physical beauty is subjective. And even if someone perfectly matches your ideal of physical perfection, their looks will eventually fade. What endure are the qualities, passions, and habits we nurture.

    That’s what makes us beautiful—and believe me when I say there is something beautiful in everyone. If you’ve done any of the following lately, you are absolutely beautiful: (more…)

  • Happiness Comes to Those Who Live Their Calling

    Happiness Comes to Those Who Live Their Calling

    “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.” ~Rumi

    I was on tour with a famous rock legend, Joe Walsh from the mega-successful seventies band, The Eagles.

    We were riding around in one of those air brushed tour busses, living the party life and flying to exotic places. Staying in the finest hotels. Beautiful women hanging around the backstage door trying to get my attention.

    You would think this would be a dream come true, right?

    Here I was rubbing shoulders with people like Stevie Nicks, Willie Nelson, and The Fabulous Thunderbirds, and yet, I wasn’t happy. Not really.

    And you know what really sucks?

    When you’re so close to your dream you can almost reach out and touch it, but for some reason you can’t. Something is holding you back.

    You spend years working hard just to get next to it. You’re working right there in the area of your passion. But you aren’t actually living it.

    You’re helping someone else to live theirs.

    It feels like your face is pressed up against a glass wall. And there, just on the other side is the thing you’re really supposed to be doing.

    I was his sound engineer. But the dream was to be playing guitar up onstage with him.

    The band and crew were like family because we had done several tours together. Joe knew I rehearsed regularly with the band when he didn’t show up and that I knew the music cold.

    Even the guys in the band agreed it would sound better if I was playing the other guitar parts but it wasn’t their place to say.

    All I had to do was ask. But I couldn’t seem to get up the nerve. I just couldn’t get past the uncertainty of what might happen if I took the leap and got shot down.

    I was poised to jump but paralyzed by fear.

    I guess I was just hoping the other band members would put in the good word and do my bidding for me by asking to have a second guitar player.

    I was wrong.

    Nothing happened. The train kept a rolling with me still behind the soundboard. Still unhappy.

    I figured out in the silent weeks that followed that no one just hands you the keys to the highway. You have to ask for them.

    Finally, I arrived at the place where I could no longer stand by and accept my “close but no cigar” status. The idea that I would have to live with the consequences of not trying was simply too much to bear.

    So I decided to cast my fears and uncertainty to the wind and just ask Joe if I could play the gig.

    And then something very strange happened.

    I never got the chance. (more…)

  • Finding Your Special Thing: Connect with Your Passion

    Finding Your Special Thing: Connect with Your Passion

    “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.” ~Rumi

    You know what it is; you’ve always known. Maybe it’s been just a shadow in the fog, or it’s crystal clear in amazing Technicolor before your eyes. Either way, it’s there, sometimes stinging you with a numb sense of denial, sometimes scratching at your skin like a bad case of poison sumac.

    It’s existed since the day you arrived on earth with a cry and a gasp.You knew it already when you were small, when you drew pictures with crayons and finger paint, when you learned what a ruler was and how to multiply by three. When you found out that nouns were followed by verbs and that seeds, planted right below the surface of the dirt and given water to drink, would sprout green just days later.

    You knew it then, and you know it now.

    So many things vie for your attention. Job, kids, house, yard. Family, friends, the blessed computer. But your special thing sits right under the veneer of frenetic busy me, counting the days, the hours, the minutes, the seconds for you to finally take notice and accept its sacred presence.

    When you see someone else doing something that remotely resembles your special thing, you might react in a panic.“Wait. Her. She’s living my dream!!” But it’s not someone else living your dream that brings on the racing heartbeat; it’s that you are not living your dream yourself.

    Your special thing is your work. It’s your purpose. It’s the goodness that you produce from the center of your heart. You might already be doing it without completely realizing it. You’d do it without having to be paid for it but if you could make your living from it, what joy it would bring.

    When I first started to heed the call of my special thing, my husband and I were working as hard as we could, thinking there would never be another way, wondering how long it would take for us to just burn out and disappear.

    There was something in the distance, though, a chance thought. It was engulfed in mist at first, but emerged into the light as an opportunity.

    In a short span of time, my husband’s and my professional situations changed, and the possibility to buy an abandoned farm in Italy presented itself. We sprang on it, knowing it was the right thing to do at some deep level. (more…)

  • When Your Dreams Change: Let Your Values Guide You

    When Your Dreams Change: Let Your Values Guide You

    “It is not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” ~Roy Disney

    It has been four months now since I made the hardest decision of my life.

    In the fourth grade, I made a pledge to work as much I had to until I became successful and moved the heck out of Ohio!

    That commitment led me to graduate as valedictorian in high school and summa cum laude in college. However, it also resulted in missed recess (to do homework), missed parties (to research), and missed relationships (to study). Of course, I am not upset, for my accomplishments make me proud, but I do regret some of the things they’ve cost me.

    At the end of this 14-year journey, my dreams came to fruition: I was offered the job I had worked my entire life to get, in the perfect location!

    That’s right—the best private school in Florida offered me a job as Physical Education teacher living just minutes away from the gulf, in a city known for its sunshine, St. Petersburg.

    I should have chomped at the bit! Jumped up and down! Ran circles around the house! But I didn’t…

    Something was wrong. How could arriving at the destination I had worked so diligently to reach not bring me all of the happiness I had lost in the journey to get there? How could reaching my life’s goal not bring me to tears—not make my heart sing?

    It took a while but I finally figured it out: It’s because I’m not the same person who chose my path in the beginning. I have changed.

    At one point between now and the fourth grade, I evolved. My life understanding grew and adapted, but my tunnel vision on a preset goal kept me from realizing it.

    It’s good to have ambition, but can too much be harmful?

    Still, what’s to think about right? (more…)

  • 12 Tips to Create a Peaceful, Passionate Life

    12 Tips to Create a Peaceful, Passionate Life

    “Get out of your head and get into your heart. Think less, feel more.” ~Osho

    Osho’s game was to get people out of their heads. He wasn’t focused on world peace; he was intent on self-peace.

    How do you get out of your head? How do you get more present?

    For most of my life, I was stuck in my head. “Stuckness” was my primary experience. I always wanted to be somewhere else, someone else.

    After years of quietly suffering and pretending to be happy, I came to understand that my stuckness was caused by numbness—physical, emotional, and spiritual.

    Physically: I have been “out of my body” for 99.999% of my life—unless you’re talking about the heaviness on my chest, lump in my throat, and raciness in my head. I was constantly experiencing back pains and a general heaviness in my body.

    Also, I felt inadequate and insecure in most of my intimate relationships.

    Emotionally: I never felt good enough to speak my truths and share how I really felt. I blamed myself for feeling inadequate. The constant “trying to be someone” caused me to keep up multiple appearances and maintain many public versions of myself.

    Spirituality: Because of all the lying, I didn’t trust myself. I felt like I betrayed myself and I felt guilty, thinking, I really am not good enough. When I was a child, in Israel, I was afraid of being punished by God. Later, in America, I was afraid of being punished by society. I wanted your approval so badly.

    One day, I ran away. (more…)

  • Your Happiness Can Make a Difference in the World

    Your Happiness Can Make a Difference in the World

    “Don’t worry about what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~Howard Thurman

    When I was eight years old I saw a news report on a war. A wounded woman was crying on a stretcher, and soldiers were carrying guns running around her. Up until that point I had thought war was like dragons or knights in armor. It was fictional or happened a long, long time ago. I couldn’t believe it was real.

    At that realization, my experience of life changed. It felt like it was no longer okay to just be; I had to do something. There was something wrong with the world, and I had to do something to fix it.

    This stayed with me into adulthood and, while it gave me a sense of purpose, it also gave me a constant feeling of hopelessness. The problems seemed huge and insurmountable, and everything I did seemed so inconsequential.

    Coming Alive

    I have learned that one of the best indicators of a good path is feeling good, and hopelessness wasn’t feeling good. I felt burned out and unsure of myself. I didn’t feel alive.

    I felt this battle in me. I wanted to be free to make my choices based on inspiration rather than fear, but how can I feel that everything is okay when children are starving, water is poisoned, and we are killing each other and the planet? Clearly that is not okay, right?

    I didn’t want to rise up out of the realities of our world and pretend for the sake of my peace of mind that this wasn’t happening. I wanted to be present and meet our world’s problems, as well as my fear and pain, with compassion, and then to make a choice that feels good—because the last thing the world needs is another hopeless human.

    What brought me to life was allowing myself to feel connected to the rest of the world. Letting myself feel the suffering without trying to fix it and letting myself feel the joy and love without feeling guilty. (more…)

  • The Difference Between Fulfillment and Achievement

    The Difference Between Fulfillment and Achievement

    “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” ~C.S. Lewis

    I have always been ambitious. I have always felt an incredible need to become someone, to do something, to achieve. I have always been a dreamer on my way up.

    I’m a fashion designer. I belong to an industry that I knew was highly competitive from a young age. Ambition and hard work counted, but increasingly, I was getting the message that status, money, and connections were far more important factors for success.

    In fact, fashion as an industry is parallel to the entertainment industry. Just look to all the celebrities whose next career move, often in desperation, is to create a fashion line. I was no celebrity—not even close. I was a plain, quiet girl who was more studious than glamorous.

    In fashion, there are sayings like “You’re only as good as your last season” or “One day you’re in, the next day you’re out.” We live in a go-go-go, high-achieving, fast paced world laced with ambition, goals, and people who want to do it all and have it all. So it had been ingrained in me to always work hard.

    Throughout college, I worked (almost full-time), went to school (actually full-time), and came home to work on design projects, sew into the night, or write for my little fashion blog. I took no time off, worked endless hours, and dedicated myself wholly to my craft, my industry, and my goals.

    All to get somewhere, become something, to achieve my lifelong dream.

    That all came to a halt when I graduated and I started pounding the pavement. I was sure that my hard work and talent would pay off—but it didn’t. For almost an entire year, I didn’t even get an interview.

    It was a shameful part of my life, one that I would not readily admit to anyone. I was working full-time in a different industry making very little money, but could not get in on the one I had worked so hard toward my entire life.

    So I stopped after a year to ask myself, what was I doing wrong? (more…)

  • How Fear Can Deepen Joy and Love If We Let It

    How Fear Can Deepen Joy and Love If We Let It

    “Fear has its use but cowardice has none.” ~Gandhi

    On Monday, my boyfriend and I took a ferry to Catalina Island, where we planned to spend the night.

    I knew the island would be quaint and charming, which was a big part of its appeal, but I was mostly looking forward to breathing in the salty ocean air.

    From vacations enjoyed with beachside lounging, to summer days spent running along the shore, some of my favorite memories involve the hypnotic lilt of crashing waves.

    We hightailed it to the upper deck as soon as we dropped our bags, allowing ourselves the best possible view of any jumping dolphins we might encounter.

    It wasn’t long before we picked up some speed, but this didn’t deter me from sticking my face into the wind.

    I imagined that was what dogs feel like when they poke their heads outside car windows—completely enveloped by the cool, crisp breeze; wrapped in it and yet so free.

    Thirty minutes and ten dolphin sightings in, though still windblown, I felt my cheeks go warm and flush as I giggled, “I love the ocean!”

    It was the kind of pure joy that comes being fully present, clearheaded, and immersed in nature—magnified because I was sharing it with someone I love.

    Three hours later, after we’d checked into our hotel and eaten lunch, I thought, “I hate the ocean.”

    We’d decided to go snorkeling, something my boyfriend loves, and, theoretically, I thought I’d enjoy.

    Nemo-like fish, machine-free exercise, and exploration are all things I appreciate. And we’d done it together once before in San Diego, a few months after we’d first started dating.

    But back then we’d stayed in shallow water, much like I do when I swim at beach. By “swim” I mean wade out to my waist, all the while fearing death by shark. (more…)

  • 10 Simple Ways to Enjoy Life’s Journey More

    10 Simple Ways to Enjoy Life’s Journey More

    “Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

    I wake up. I take a look outside.

    I take a breath in and just appreciate where this dream has taken me.

    I want to be a ninja.

    Yeah, it sounds a little strange.

    Probably even weirder when I tell you I have a Master’s degree in education, am a former teacher, and I’m about to turn thirty.

    You could call it a quarter life crisis, assuming I’ll live to be 120.

    But I prefer to call it my life’s calling.

    It is my childhood dream. So, when I say, “I want to be a ninja,” I’m talking about the ninja from my eight-year-old brain.

    According to my eight-year-old brain a ninja:

    • Moves to a far away land
    • Trains extensively in martial arts
    • Challenges the traditional methods of life and work

    About a year ago I quit my job in America. I moved to Japan (a far away land). I now train full time in martial arts five to six days a week.

    I’m doing everything within my power to turn this into a lifestyle. I write about my experiences in hopes of encouraging others to make the most of their lives.

    It is easy for me to romanticize my life to the outside world, but the reality is that I can get just as caught up in the monotony of day-to-day life as anyone else.

    After being in Japan for a year I can get so caught up with achieving my next goal, the next item on my to do list, that I forget how wonderful life truly is.

    I live in a land with thousands of years of history, culture, and beautiful architecture.

    And with all of this sometimes I can still walk through my day like a zombie. (more…)

  • You Will Not Be The Same Person When You Achieve Your Goal

    You Will Not Be The Same Person When You Achieve Your Goal

    “The journey is the reward.” ~Chinese Proverb

    When you set goals, you naturally focus on the result. If you pay attention to the desired achievement, you will discover the path to get there. However, the value you gain from achieving the goal isn’t just about the reward of accomplishment.

    Once you achieve a significant goal, you will not be the same person you were when you set out on the journey. The process of achieving your goal and the experience you have gained will have changed you. This is why the journey is the reward.

    If you set the goal of losing forty pounds and you get there, you will have gained more than the results of looking good and having spiked interest from the opposite sex.

    In order to lose the weight, you needed to lead a very disciplined and focused lifestyle. You needed to take charge of your diet and ensure you did not lapse into old eating habits. You needed to work out regularly and efficiently, and actually make serious gains in the gym.

    A great body is not just a thing you have; it is a lifestyle you lead. Adopting that lifestyle is the key benefit.

    How many people actually make the necessary sacrifices and do the hard work required to lose serious weight? Not nearly as many as the number who set the goal. Taking those steps changes both the mind and body.

    The reward is not just the tangible change in your body. It is the journey that has given you improved discipline and willpower.

    Exactly the same applies to the goal of quitting your job and running your own business. Everyone dreams about it, but very few people do it. Those who are successful have not just won the prize of being their own boss and earning a better income.

    The long hours they have worked, the risks they have taken with their time and money, the fear and uncertainty of whether it was going to work—these things changed them.

    It took me four years of working on my online business part-time before it earned me enough money to kiss the desk goodbye. The money is not the prize; it is the time and freedom I now have. But if those things had just fallen into my lap without any effort or sacrifice on my behalf, I would not be able to appreciate them in the same way.

    I would still have been the same person I used to be. (more…)

  • 6 Steps on the Path to Passion and Fulfillment

    6 Steps on the Path to Passion and Fulfillment

    “I don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.” ~Joseph Campbell

    There are seemingly small events in life that, in retrospect, turn out to be the catalyst for cataclysmic transformation. Such was the case for me when my oldest child left home to pursue her passion as a ballet dancer.

    Little did I know at the time that this event would lead me to a brand new passion, a new business, and a new life.

    My Life Passion Story

    Prior to my daughter leaving home, I’d spent the previous three years supporting her as she pursued her passion, driving her two sixty-mile round trips daily to train at her ballet studio. I often spent three hours a day in the car. I was also tending to my two younger children and attempting to maintain a public relations consultancy.

    A child leaving home isn’t really a small event, but in my case, it wasn’t as dramatic as it is for most parents. My daughter was away from home most of the day anyway between school and dance. And she spent six weeks away every summer at ballet programs. So her moving to another city did not feel so dramatic or unsettling in itself.

    But what it triggered in me was a tsunami of internal upheaval.

    As my daughter’s passion for ballet blossomed, I was happy to help her pursue her dream, and I accepted the sacrifices involved. Prior to this intense training period for her, I had an active public relations business in which I promoted my clients (actors, artists, designers, and business professionals) as they pursued their passions. But as my daughter’s training intensified, I had to cut back on my PR work.

    When she left home, and I no longer had to spend hours a day in my car, I suddenly had a huge chunk of time on my hands.

    You’d think regaining this time would have filled me with elation. But I remember standing in the middle of the house in despair, wondering who I was and what I was supposed to do.

    Between my PR career and supporting my daughter, I had spent years helping others come alive with their own passions. Suddenly, I realized I didn’t have one of my own. I felt directionless, uninspired, and totally lost.

    I tried to resurrect my PR business, but I had no joy in it. I so wanted to feel the enthusiasm and intensity that my daughter and my clients felt about their passionate pursuits. I wanted to feel alive again. At the time, I was in my late forties with a twenty-plus-year PR career under my belt but no other marketable skills (or so I thought).

    I had no idea what to do, but I knew I had two choices:

    • I could accept a boring, unsatisfying life
    • I could figure a way out of this internal upheaval and find something to ignite my passion

    I chose the latter. (more…)

  • The World Needs You to Come Alive

    The World Needs You to Come Alive

    “Don’t ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~Howard Thurman

    Three years ago, I found myself in the biggest predicament of my life.

    I had finally found what made me happy. I knew that travel ignited a part of me that otherwise lay dormant. The foreign sights, sounds, flavors, and language of a new country are what make my heart pound, my blood pump, and my soul bloom.

    I love everything about traveling, and how it impacts my life: the Greek words I add to my vocabulary, the delicious cuisine of Morocco, the relaxed evenings in Italy. These are experiences that I want in my life.

    Traveling makes me a better, more well-rounded person, and it makes me exquisitely happy—in a word, alive.

    Travel was my dream—a massive, untouchable dream. A dream that didn’t involve multiple phone lines ringing, my cell phone buzzing, and my inbox flooding as a 40-hour workweek merged into 60 hours.

    I compromised my dream because I was working—for a promotion, for validation, for the almighty dollar. Blindly contented in this role, I kept settling, assuring myself that the day would come when I could fulfill my desire to travel.

    One day the Tiny Buddha weekly email arrived and “10 Questions to Ask Yourself before Giving Up on Your Dream,” by Lori Deschene, loomed out at me.

    I read the questions and tried to defend my current life choices, but I wasn’t able to satisfy my own inquiring. I knew travel made me happy, and I couldn’t justify giving up on that.

    The rest of the day I fought a battle between my head and heart. I knew the right choice, no matter how terrifying, was to follow my dreams.

    Within a week, I bought a one-way ticket to Greece and started writing my 60-day notice for the office.

    Naturally, I was scared. That crippling, nagging feeling came to sit with me—doubt. I doubted myself, my plan, and the decision to leave a great job in a bad economy.

    When I put in my resignation, the General Manager did his best to discourage me, saying, “You’ll never get another chance like this… You think careers are just handed out? You’re making a mistake.” (more…)

  • Taking Small Steps to Do the Thing That Scares You

    Taking Small Steps to Do the Thing That Scares You

    “Take that first step. Bravely overcoming one small fear gives you the courage to take on the next.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

    When I was younger I loved to climb trees, but I was always too scared to get myself down. Somehow, when standing at the base of a massive Oak, I’d forget how terrified I’d feel at the top.

    So I’d climb away, trying to prove to the neighborhood boys that I was fearless, and then stay up there, clutching the bark and crying, until someone helped me get safely to the ground.

    I knew who I wanted to be—a daredevil Tomboy who was adventurous and tough—but I was deathly afraid of feeling out of control and getting hurt.

    You can probably imagine how terrified I felt when I went skydiving several years ago. I would have sooner put hot pokers into my ocular cavities then let go and free fall from 10,000 feet in the sky.

    It was a lot higher than the tree branches—making the rise to the top a lot more terrifying.

    Still, I wanted to do it. I had a whole list of reasons:

    • I wanted to prove I could.
    • I wanted to feel alive.
    • I wanted to face a fear.
    • I wanted to impress and inspire myself.
    • I wanted to impress my boyfriend, who’d invited me for our second date.

    It would have been easy to psych myself out of going. It was the scariest thing I’d ever done. I was overwhelmed with emotion, and even slightly paralyzed. It didn’t help matters that someone tweeted me a link to skydiving fatalities an hour before my boyfriend showed up.

    In that moment, it seemed far more reasonable to back out. I knew it was unlikely I’d plummet to my death, but even the slightest risk seemed too big to take.

    As I read through the various stories of things that had gone wrong for others, wrestling with my fear of facing a similar fate, I reminded myself that the part of me that wanted to do it was greater than the part of me that was afraid.

    I realized the only way I’d follow through was to stop thinking and focus on doing. I had to start moving toward it, one inch at a time. (more…)

  • 7 Things to Remember When People Don’t Support You

    7 Things to Remember When People Don’t Support You

    “I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!” ~Theodore Roosevelt

    I’m currently doing the whole “quit my job to pursue a dream” thing. I left the security and stability of having a salary along with a supposed career.

    Back then, I didn’t really know what I was doing. I had no experience in blogging, plus I didn’t exactly have the confidence to market and start running a business.

    Sounds crazy, right?

    You can imagine the reaction I got from my friends and family. The support was next to nothing, and people generally never understood what I was doing—what I was trying to do.

    Does this sound familiar?

    You may not have done something huge, like make a career shift, but perhaps you’ve offered a different opinion and everyone just disagreed.

    You would have expected more from your loved ones. I know how disheartening that can be.

    You expect support and encouragement from people you consider close to you only to be completely rejected, criticized, or worse, laughed at.

    It can be really hard to swallow all the “noise” around you.

    I was taken by surprise by some of the things I heard from friends; some of the comments were particularly hurtful.

    I think it boils down to learning how to not care so much about what others think, and also, conversely, understanding what goes on in their minds.

    I’ve come up with a little guide of reminders that I hope can help you keep going if you feel alone.

    1. Your passion is a priority.

    A lot of people go through the motions in life, not doing what they love. They end up constantly looking back, asking themselves, “What if?”

    Whether people support you or not, do you really want to look back in regret one day down the line? To not know what could have happened if you tried to do what you really wanted to do? (more…)

  • The Tiny Buddha Book Is Now Available in Dutch

    The Tiny Buddha Book Is Now Available in Dutch

    Today is an exciting day for me, as I’m announcing the first international edition of my book, Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions.

    If you’ve already learned about the book or purchased it, this post will be redundant for you! For those who haven’t read it, or are interested in the Dutch version, here’s a little information about it:

    This is the first book of its kind—with tweets woven throughout.

    I asked @tinybuddha followers a number of the most challenging questions in life, like:

    • Why is there suffering in the world?
    • What’s the meaning of life?
    • What does it take to be happy?
    • Why are relationships hard?

    Since there are very few concrete answers to the big questions, I wanted to explore many varied perspectives to create a guide of possibilities for joy, purpose, and connection.

    Although these tweets shaped the book, I also included a great deal of my own struggles, successes, and insights—far more than I’ve ever revealed on the blog. From my former battle with depression to my struggles with relationships, I shared how these questions have played out in my own life—and what I’ve learned at each step of the way.

    Through this book, you’ll learn a few ideas to:

    • Let go of pain from the past that’s been weighing you down and holding you back
    • Create a sense of purpose, starting right now, even if you’re not doing what you want to do professionally
    • Change habits that have not served you well and open up to new, better ways of being
    • Experience happiness right now, regardless of your circumstances
    • Improve your relationships
    • Seize the moment to live more mindfully, passionately, and fearlessly
    • Find a sense of control and empowerment in an uncertain world

    You can find the English version of Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions here. You can find the recently released Dutch version here.

  • 10 Ways to Be Great Today

    10 Ways to Be Great Today

    Earlier this week I wrote a post about the pursuit of greatness. I highlighted how it can sometimes create stress when it manifests as fear that we’re not good enough and might never be.

    In reviewing the reader comments, I felt a sense of deep appreciation for knowing so many truly great people. And I imagined there were far more of them who didn’t comment—some who may not realize just how great they are.

    I decided to put together this list based on some of my favorite related quotes. If you’re looking to nurture greatness, these tips may help you do just that—or they may help you recognize the extraordinary impact you already have on the people around you.

    1. Be a source of kindness.

    “Men are only as great as they are kind.” ~Elbert Hubbard

    We all want to live in a world where people are compassionate, understanding, and kind. Every time we treat someone this way, we do our part to create that kind of world.

    2. Treat everyone equally.

    “The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who does him absolutely no good.” ~Samuel Johnson

    There’s another saying that suggests we should be nice to people on the way up because they’re the same people we’ll meet on the way down. But there’s a more important reason to treat people well: We all thrive together when we stop fixating on “up” and “down” and choose to stand beside each other.

    3. Remember that actions speak louder than words.

    “Great thoughts speak only to the thoughtful mind, but great actions speak to all mankind.” ~Theodore Roosevelt

    Most of us have ideas to make a difference in the world—and we can do these things if we’re willing to act as much as we think and talk. Take your plans out of your head and off the page, even if with just one small step. Wherever you are in the process, that’s the opportunity to be great. (more…)

  • The Message Your Higher Self Wants You To Hear

    The Message Your Higher Self Wants You To Hear

    Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Leanne Kallal

    “There is no need to reach high for the stars. They are already within you. Just reach deep into yourself!” ~Unknown

    I’m not sure about you, but I’m the type of person who’s constantly coming up with new ideas and having big a-has—both in my personal and professional life.

    I have multiple note-taking apps on my phone, and I have more notebooks and journals kicking around my room than I know what to do with.

    Interestingly enough, despite all the notes I take to make sure I remember my important moments, I usually end up forgetting my “big a-has” because I’ve already moved on to the next one.

    One of the positive things about being a note-writing, a-ha-generating machine is that I have the pleasure of stumbling upon my past thoughts when I’m in one of my apps or notebooks.

    The other day I had the sheer pleasure of stumbling upon this beauty of a note, or rather a message to myself that I’m going to share with you today.

    It was early June and an old friend had contacted me to see if I could help her with a Chakra Healing event she was organizing. Without hesitation, I agreed to hop onboard for the week of the event. (Who doesn’t love an impromptu trip to LA to reconnect with the girls?!)

    One of the perks to working at an event like this is that there are usually opportunities for the crew members to participate in the exercises.

    I forget the exact details of the exercise I participated in, but it went something like this: We were guided to first mediate and sit in silence for a few moments and then we were asked to connect to our higher self and listen to the message we received.

    Now for those of you who are new to the meditation wagon and “connecting” with something greater than your 3D self, this exercise might sound like a bunch of pointless hubbub.

    But I’d like to invite you to consider that there might be a higher self, or simply another part of you that exists in your subconscious mind that knows the way. A part of you that believes in you, fully accepts you, and is your greatest fan.

    This is the part of myself I connected with, and the results of this exercise (aka the inspiring, juicy message to myself!) continue to amaze me to this day. (more…)

  • When the Pursuit of Greatness Does More Harm Than Good

    When the Pursuit of Greatness Does More Harm Than Good

    “Seek not greatness, but seek truth and you will find both.” ~Horace Mann

    You’re destined for greatness. Don’t settle for mediocrity. You can be extraordinary.

    Have you ever heard one of these motivating statements? I see them all the time around the web, and while I understand the intention, I sometimes have mixed feelings about the implication.

    We all want to make a difference in the world. We all want to make some kind of impact, both to contribute to mankind and to feel that our lives mean something.

    It’s a great, big world out there, and at times it can feel like we don’t matter unless we’re doing something huge. We might even be tempted to label our lives as unworthy if we’re not doing something that garners attention and admiration.

    This was the foundation of my early interest in performing. It wasn’t just that I loved expressing myself creatively, though I did; I’ve always had a wellspring of emotion that craved some type of artistic outlet.

    It was more that I needed that feeling of standing above a crowd that was fixated on me. I desperately craved their approval and applause, their confirmation that I was a valuable person—that I was someone with talent.

    Talent made me special. It made me stand out. When I held a microphone or moved center stage, I felt good about me.

    But when the house lights came on at the end of the night, that feeling depended on whether or not I received verbal confirmation of my greatness. If another actor received more flowers or compliments, I feared that I wasn’t good enough.

    This, right here, is what I dislike about the implication we can and should strive for greatness—it seems to imply that where we are right now isn’t already great.

    And the race to be extraordinary, to me this just feeds into the type of thinking that suggests we need to stand out, to prove we’re somehow better than ordinary.

    Now I’m not suggesting we shouldn’t try to make an impact on the world, or that we should stifle our energy or efforts in order to play small. (more…)

  • The Top 25 Excuses to Wait on Your Dreams and How to Overcome Them

    The Top 25 Excuses to Wait on Your Dreams and How to Overcome Them

    “The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses…The gift is yours—it is an amazing journey—and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.” ~Bob Moawad

    If we try, we can always find a reason not to do what we want to do, and it can seem perfectly valid. We can convince ourselves that we’re being smart, realistic, or safe, or that we don’t even really want it.

    We’re great at justifying the status quo, because we know exactly what that’s like, even if it’s dissatisfying.

    The unknown can feel terrifying. But somewhere in that same realm where anything could go wrong is everything that can go right.

    So many times in my life I’ve finally pushed myself to do something and then wondered, “Why did I wait so long?” If I had known the benefits would far outweigh my fear and discomfort, I would have pushed myself sooner.

    But we can’t ever know that in advance. We can only know that our reasons to do something are greater than our excuses not to.

    In my efforts to keep moving beyond my comfort zone, I’ve compiled the top excuses not to go after a dream, along with a few reminders to help us overcome them.

    (more…)