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Category “love & relationships”

Why We’re Afraid of Real Connection and Why We Need Deeper Conversations Now

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“It’s one of the great paradoxes of the human condition—we ask some variation of the question ‘How are you feeling?’ over and over, which would lead one to assume that we attach some importance to it.  And yet we never expect or desire—or provide—an honest answer.” ~Mark Brackett, Ph.D., Permission to Feel

I used to feel so satisfied if I had made them cry.

Not in a twisted, sadistic way.

I just knew once things went quiet and they felt safe, we could peel back enough layers, the tears would flow, and we could finally get to the truth. The …

How I Healed My Low Self-Worth After Infidelity and Divorce

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“It’s okay to let go of those who couldn’t love you. Those who didn’t know how to. Those who failed to even try. It’s okay to outgrow them, because that means you filled the empty space in you with self-love instead. You’re outgrowing them because you’re growing into you. And that’s more than okay, that’s something to celebrate.” ~Angelica Moone

Once upon a time, I met and fell in love with the man of my dreams. He was the most romantic, loving, amazing person I had ever met and for some reason, he wanted to be with me.

I was …

To the Expectant Mom with a Million Questions and Worries

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“Have a little faith in your ability to handle whatever’s coming down the road. Believe that you have the strength and resourcefulness required to tackle whatever challenges come your way. And know that you always have the capacity to make the best of anything. Even if you didn’t want it or ask for it, even if seems scary or hard or unfair, you can make something good of any loss or hardship. You can learn from it, grow from it, help others through it, and maybe even thrive because of it. The future is unknown, but you can know this …

The Beauty in Her Baldness: Why My Mother Was Still Radiant with Cancer

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“Beauty doesn’t come from physical perfection. It comes from the light in our eyes, the spark in our hearts, and the radiance we exude when we’re comfortable enough in our skin to focus less on how we look and more on how we love.” ~Lori Deschene

For as long as I can remember, my mom had long shiny silky black hair down to her knees. It was magical in the way that it attracted people and inspired curiosity and connection.

Everywhere we went, strangers approached her, usually timidly at first with a brief compliment, and then, after receiving her signature …

How Our Parents Impact Us: The Childhood Wounds That Shape Our Lives

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“The way we treat our children directly impacts what they believe about themselves.” ~Ariadne Brill

Growing up, I always felt odd. I often wondered what was wrong with me. I compared myself to my friends and always thought they had a better life than me. They had both parents still together, went on family vacations. It was not that I was jealous or bitter, it was just that they seemed to be ‘normal’ and happy. Whatever that means.

I never remember my parents being together. My parents divorced when I was two. I lived with my mother and older …

5 Important Life Skills I Learned in Grief After My Husband Died

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“Sit with it. Sit with it. Sit with it. Sit with it. Even though you want to run. Even when it’s heavy and difficult. Even though you’re not quite sure of the way through. Healing happens by feeling.” ~Dr. Rebecca Ray

When my husband died from terminal brain cancer in 2014, I learned all about deep grief. The kind of grief that plunges you into a valley of pain so vast it takes years to claw your way out. In the beginning, I didn’t want to deal with grief because the pain was too intense. So, I dodged grief …

Rethinking Masculinity: Why I Want More Than Bachelor Parties and Football

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“Patriarchy is the expression of the immature masculine. It is the expression of Boy psychology, and, in part, the shadow—or crazy—side of masculinity. It expresses the stunted masculine, fixated at immature levels.” ~ Robert Moore & Doug Gillette

Seventy eggs, packs of bacon, and multiple types of beer filled the fridge. On the counter lay handles of liquor and energy drinks. The dining table was lined with snacks galore: chips, Cheese-its, popcorn, Oreos, Doritos, and dozens of Fireball nips.

I’ve been to many bachelor parties, and it’s not surprising that health is never a priority. Yet this time, things felt …

How I’ve Stopped Attracting One-Sided Relationships That Leave Me Feeling Empty

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“Curiosity will save your soul.” ~Danielle LaPorte

When I was a young girl about age five, my mother volunteered weekly at a nursing home. Because she was a stay-at-home mom, I was required to tag along with her.

While she would wheel all the residents into the front room and sing prayers and read devotionals, I simply couldn’t sit still for 2.5 seconds. I was a busy girl with an agenda. I had people to see and things to do.

Weekly, I would pop in and out of residents’ rooms while mom banged on the piano down the hall. In …

Dear Mom and Dad, Thank You for the Years of Trauma

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“When you finally learn that a person’s behavior has more to do with their own internal struggle than you, you learn grace.” ~Allison Aars

I’m writing this to say thank you for the trauma you caused me since I was born. You might be thinking that I’m being sarcastic, but that’s far from the truth.

Let me explain why I have such gratitude for the pain and trauma you created in my life. Also, please understand that I forgive you.

Dad, I want to start with you because you’re no longer living. I know you’re now able to see the …

All It Takes Is One Person to Start a Chain Reaction of Caring and Kindness

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“People will never know how far a little kindness can go. You just may start a chain reaction.” ~Rachel Joy Scott

One afternoon a while back, after stepping onboard to a full train car with no available seats, I situated myself in the standing section.

A couple of stops later, two passengers vacated their seats, allowing me the chance to sit. I embraced the opportunity to people-watch. The woman in front of me began chapter four of her book, titled How to Jump for Your Life. The girl next to her alternated between the Tinder app and …

The Many Shades of Support: Everyone Shows Up for Us in Different Ways

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“Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.’” ~BrenĂ© Brown

What do a pregnancy test, a wheelchair, and an Airbnb have in common? The answer is this story.

In February 2019, one night before I was to get on a flight for my first ever trip to Paris, with my sister and best friend, I took a pregnancy test and it read… positive.

Excited? Worried? Anxious? I was all of the above.

You see, …

How a Highly Sensitive Person Can Get Over a Breakup And Move On

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“A shoutout to everyone who is trying right now
 Trying to do the right thing. Trying to stay open. Trying to keep going. Trying to hold on. Trying to let go. Trying to find their flow. Trying to stay afloat. Trying to meet each new day. Trying to find their balance. Trying to love themselves. Trying new things and new ways. I see you. I’m there too. We’re in this together.” ~S.C. Lourie

Breakups are devastating, and the pain is real. But if you’re a highly sensitive person (HSP), it can take an extreme toll on your system because HSPs …

The Messiness of Being Human and Why We Shouldn’t Judge Each Other

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“Those who understand will never judge, and those who judge will never understand.” ~Wilson Kanadi

I’m waiting for my mother’s nurse to pick up. The hospital recording has been on a loop for twenty minutes: “Our hospital is committed to integrity, to the destitute, the sick. Our physicians and nurses have trained at some of the most prestigious colleges in the country. Our patients’ health and comfort is our #1 priority.”

The woman on the recording sounds so clear and passionate. I can picture her in the recording studio. Maybe she had to audition for the part. Maybe she got …

3 Reasons Why It’s Hard to Set Boundaries and What to Do About It

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“Care what other people think, and you will forever be their prisoner.” ~Lao Tzu

I love this quote because it is such truth. But I also recognize the difficulty and the uncomfortable feelings that arise when working toward living this quote.

There’s a reason why it feels so hard to set healthy boundaries, and that is what this article is going to show you.

Discovery #1: Understanding our hard wiring

Our minds were not created to care about healthy boundaries. Say what? Let me explain.

From the beginning of time, we humans were hard wired for connection. We are …

When a Mother Fails to Love: What’s Helped Me Move On

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“You keep meeting the same person in different bodies until you learn the lesson.” ~Brandon Tarot

Like most girls in junior high school, I tried out for all the cheerleading squads every time tryouts came around—basketball, football, even wrestling. And like 95% of the girls, I never made the squad.

My kicks weren’t high enough, my splits weren’t split enough, my arms weren’t board-straight enough, I couldn’t jump high enough—and, let’s be real here: I wasn’t pretty enough and I wasn’t popular enough. After all, we are talking about junior high school.

But eventually, the one tryout came around that …

How I Stopped Worrying All the Time and Started Feeling Good About Life

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“We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.” ~Anais Nin

When I was young, I used to stare out into the big, blue sky and ask, “Is this really the right place?” “Did they drop me off on the wrong planet?” I wondered.

It felt like I didn’t fit in or belong. Things seemed so much easier for others. They moved forward with ease even when something was painful, while I felt an arrow pierce my heart every time a loved one was in pain, or a difficult situation arose.

When I looked around, I …

How to Overcome Ultra-Independence and Receive Love and Support

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“Ultra independence is a coping mechanism we develop when we’ve learned it’s not safe to trust love or when we are terrified to lose ourselves in another. We aren’t meant to go it alone. We are wounded in relationship and we heal in relationship.” ~Rising Woman

Do you feel like you have to do everything on your own?

Is it difficult for you to ask for and receive help in fear of being let down?

Have you ever heard the expression “Ultra-independence may be a trauma response”?

If this is you, I get it; that was me too.

Please know …

Ending My Toxic Relationship with My Mother Was an Act of Self-Love

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“It’s okay to let go of those who couldn’t love you. Those who didn’t know how to. Those who failed to even try. It’s okay to outgrow them, because that means you filled the empty space in you with self-love instead. You’re outgrowing them because you’re growing into you. And that’s more than okay, that’s something to celebrate.” ~Angelica Moone

I was taught to love my family and to just accept the love they give. With the passage of time and the dawning of maturity, I began to doubt this kind of unquestioning love. The chronic emotional and mental stress …

5 Simple Ways to Overcome Your Mind’s Constant Judgments

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“It’s easy to judge. It’s more difficult to understand. Understanding requires compassion, patience, and a willingness to believe that good hearts sometimes choose poor methods. Through judging, we separate. Through understanding, we grow.” ~Doe Zantamata

If you don’t live in a cave, you have probably noticed two things. First, there are a lot of annoying, incompetent, stupid, and very difficult folks living in this world. Second, assuming you agree with my previous sentence, you have a very judgmental mind.

For better or worse, you’re not alone. A hundred thousand years ago, the ability to judge people quickly helped our species …

Why I’d Rather Be Vulnerable with People Than Pretend I’m Perfect

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“Give up being perfect, for being authentic. Give up the need to be perfect, for the opportunity to be authentic. Be who you are. Love who you are. Others will too.” ~Hal Elrod

I’m not perfect. Not that this would come as any kind of surprise to anyone who knows me. But I often feel pushed in the direction of trying to represent myself as someone who has it all together. Especially because of the nature of my work as a coach and facilitator. What about you? Do you ever feel like you’re putting on a show for others?

The …