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Category “letting go”

How to Leave a Toxic Relationship When You’re Still in Love

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“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” ~Marilyn Monroe

Why does it have to hurt so badly?

You’re so in love, but your relationship has become toxic. It simply can’t continue.

Night after sleepless night, you lie awake replaying the fights in your head.

You can’t understand why your partner won’t change or how they can simply ignore how you feel. You wonder if they ever truly loved you.

You’ve tried everything to save your relationship, but nothing’s worked. You know it’s time to end it, yet the thought of being alone petrifies you.

But …

How to Recover and Find Strength after Losing a Parent

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“When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways – either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits or by using the challenge to find our inner strength.” ~Dalai Lama

There was a period in life I called “the golden era.” Not in hindsight but at the actual time.

I named it such because I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude.

Everyone I loved was alive and well. I had a good job, a home, and a loving companion. All the things everyone longs for.

Little did I know, this “golden era” would end too …

You Don’t Need to Fix the Past in Order to Have a New Future

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Note: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen! They are:

  • Dianna
  • Michael Maher
  • Kathleen B
  • Yusuf Stoptagginmeanyhow Sulei
  • Aparna

“The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment.” ~Pema Chodron

My family recently drove from Michigan to North Carolina—twenty hours roundtrip. To entertain themselves, my five-year-old daughter Willow taught my three-year-old son Miller to play rock-paper-scissors in the backseat.

Miller learned the hand signals and got the overall concept pretty quickly, but he had a hard time with the fast speed of the game. Willow narrated, “Rock-paper-scissors
go! Okay, next round!” But Miller wanted to linger.…

Overcoming Shame When You Took a Risk and It Didn’t Work Out

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“Live, travel, adventure, bless, and don’t be sorry.” ~Jack Kerouac

There was no denying it. I had reached a dead-end. A year and a half spent living in a southern town that was simply too small for me; it was time to go. I needed a city, preferably a large one filled with numerous opportunities for a budding young writer.

Ironically, the very day it dawned on me that it was time to move to a metropolitan area, love summoned me. It shouted to me from thousands of miles away, beckoning me to change the course of my travels.

My …

You Don’t Have to Appear Perfect: It’s Okay to Admit You’re Flawed

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“Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.” ~Sigmund Freud

If you’re anything like I was, you have an image of yourself that you want other people to adopt. You think people expect that of you or would like you better if that’s who you were, so you pretend to be that person.

Over time, you put on layers of protection to prevent people from seeing the imperfections that would undermine that perception. You refuse to admit to those imperfections. You may also blame others, the weather, or fate for any perceived failure—anything but yourself.

As a result, you can’t …

The Easy Path to Purpose: Forget “Should” and Do What You Love

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“Your daily life is your temple and your religion. When you enter into it take with you your all.” ~Khalil Gibran

In my mid twenties I found out I had a mass on my pituitary. I was told it could be cancer, it could be benign, it could be a cyst—we wouldn’t know until my doctor performed a surgery to remove it. This surgery meant I could go blind, be on lifelong hormone replacement therapy, or even die.

I don’t want you to wait until something bad happens to dedicate time to things you love.

Countless people I meet …

Declutter & Destress: How to “Live Tiny” in Your Not-Tiny House

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“Not what we have but what we enjoy constitutes our abundance.” ~John Petit-Senn

I love the tiny house movement because it embraces simple living and diminishes the spiritual and financial burdens of materialism. However, I don’t really want to trade in the 1,700 square foot house I love for something that’s 200 square feet!

If you’re like me, you may have felt the same pleasure watching shows like Tiny House Nation, but not known how to apply the ideas they present to life in your larger house.

Well, I’ve found you really can “live tiny” in a not-so-literal way, …

Set Yourself Free: 5 Things You Gain When You Forgive

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“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” ~Catherine Ponder

Somewhere in the middle of my freshman year of college, my best friend from high school broke up with me. Out of nowhere, she just stopped talking to me. I tried relentlessly to reconnect, but she stopped responding and never gave me an answer why.

For years it was the most painful heartbreak I had going in my life. It’s still what I …

Healing Is a Journey, Not a Destination (and You’re Not Broken)

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“Healing requires from us to stop struggling, but to enjoy life more and endure it less.” ~Darina Stoyanova

At the age of twenty-seven I was diagnosed with interstitial cystitis, chronic inflammation of the bladder that causes UTI like symptoms. I am now twenty-nine and still experiencing symptoms, but I have improved greatly.

I have spent that time searching for the answers to this medical enigma, for which doctors claim there is no cure. At first my research led me on a path of frustration and hopelessness, until I realized that my mindset was what was holding me back from healing.…

How to Stop Beating Yourself Up Over the Little Things

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“You are perfect just as you are and you could use a little improvement.” ~Shunryu Suzuki-roshi

A few weeks ago, I had a day that I felt like an utter failure.

I had eaten junk food even though I was trying to get healthy. I’d skipped out on going to the gym for no good reason. I forgot to call my parents even though I promised them I would. I didn’t meet my daily writing goals and ended up watching two movies I’d already seen.

In other words, I slid into a lot of bad habits all at once.

I …

Why It’s Okay to Be Right Where You Are in Life

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“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” ~Arthur Ashe

Whenever I go see my Rolfer Jennie, I look forward to the wisdom she shares with me. As a Rolfer and Bodyworker of twenty-five years and an expert in the mind-body connection, she has it by the bucket-load.

Recently, upon visiting her, I fell into my old familiar trap of wanting to be ‘fixed’ or perhaps wanting her to have a simple answer for me with regards to some tension in my inner leg that had been progressing (even though I’m fully aware things are never …

How To Shine Your Own Light and Let Go of Envy

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“As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others.” ~Marianne Williamson

“Look at her, who does she think she is?”

“He’s so full of himself. He’s so big headed”

Have you ever heard these types of expressions being used? Have you said them yourself?

I have.

Or at least I used to. I was taught to believe that people who shine their light were showing off. That they were brazen and big headed. But what does being full of …

How Using Your Hands Creatively Can Reduce Stress and Anxiety

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“Making something, even imperfectly is empowering because it’s an expression of the self.” ~Alton & Carrie Barron MD

Do you ever suffer from stress or anxiety?

If so, you’ve probably tried to find relief, but finding something that works for you can be quite hard. We all react differently to different remedies, and what works for one person may not be the best remedy for you.

I used to suffer from stress and anxiety a lot. After trying lots of different remedies, I finally found relief in an activity I never considered would help.

I was locked into a life …

Take Your Power Back: How to Release Fear and Trauma

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TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of physical and emotional abuse and may be triggering to some people.

“I say I am stronger than fear.” ~Malala Yousafzai

“Don’t be scared.” It’s so easy to say, yet sometimes, for many of us, so hard to accomplish.

When I was about three or four years old, my dad locked me in the chicken coop in our back yard. This was a punishment. I was naked and screaming, literally jumping up and down with terror.

Another punishment consisted of my mother rubbing human waste in my face.

There are other things …

Letting Go of Attachment: From A to Zen

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“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” ~Dalai Lama

If there’s one thing we all have in common, it’s that we want to feel happy; and on the other side of that coin, we want to avoid hurting. Yet we consistently put ourselves in situations that set us up for pain.

We pin our happiness to people, circumstances, and things and hold onto them for dear life. We stress about the possibility of losing them when something seems amiss. Then we often get stuck in …

What Are You Practicing—Self-Judgment or Self-Compassion?

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“You are what you practice most.” ~Richard Carlson

“What are you practicing?” she asked in a gentle, lilting voice.

The entire class was in triangle pose, and at that moment I was comparing my triangle to the young woman’s right next to mine, scolding myself for wobbling out of the pose and simultaneously harassing myself for not being “further along” in my career. (Because if you’re going to hate on yourself, my motto is GO BIG.)

“Are you practicing judgment or comparison?” she tenderly probed.

“WTF!” I thought. “Does this woman have a direct line to my brain?”

“Are you …

What the Bathroom Scales Are Not Telling You

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“The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.” ~ C. JoyBell C.

At a recent visit to the doctor’s office I had some routine checks done. Afterward, the doctor flipped through the findings and said, “Blood pressure, good. Pulse, good. Weight, okay.”

He then continued talking about other things, but my mind was still on his previous words. “Weight, okay.”

Why wasn’t my weight “good” like my pulse and blood pressure? 

I had managed to completely skim over the fact that my vital signs were …

Is a Subconscious Money Taboo Holding You Back?

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“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to reflect their inner beliefs.” ~James Allen

I was one of those who used to say, “Money isn’t taboo for me! Not in a million years!” That’s until I became aware of the knot in my stomach during a phone conversation with a potential business partner.

I intended to explain how I award commissions for client referrals.

“Well,” I said, “I offer a
gift to friends and colleagues who refer potential clients to me.”

“A gift?” he asked on the other side of the line.

“The gift is
uh
” My …

Why We Should Never Force Our Spiritual Beliefs on Other People

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“A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.” ~John Steinbeck

Around six years ago I started to meditate. I had a spiritual awakening, and life started to look really different.

I have always been a feeler and reader of emotion, but this was different. It was like I was synchronized with everyone around me, as if everyone else was connected to me in some strange and mysterious way.

It later …

Choosing Inspiration Over Intimidation: How the Unknown Can Empower You

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“When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Lately, I have been reflecting a lot on what I was like when I was kid.

Back then, what I didn’t know seemed magical. It gave me room to imagine, to fill in the blanks with my own creative inspiration, and to live with a sense of wonder and awe.

I loved fantasizing and daydreaming and imagining what magical situation might be brewing in my life.

As children, curiosity was a natural and automatic part of us, and what we didn’t know didn’t scare us. …