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Category “change & challenges”

Free Yourself from Regret and Transform Your Life

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“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.” ~Marianne Williamson

I always had a hard time accepting all of me. As early as I can remember others defined me by saying “You are so weird.” Not in a malicious way but more in a “you don’t fit into our familiar box” sort of way.

I spent most of my teens and twenties attempting to conform to others or numbing myself to a point of not caring what they thought. If someone would have told me that forgiveness and compassion would lead me to …

There’s a Gift in Every Problem: Finding the Good in the Bad

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“Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.” ~Richard Bach

I bought the magazine because it had pizza on the cover and the headline read: “Yes, you can eat pizza.”

At that point, the idea that I could eat pizza was as absurd to me as the thought of finding a tiny dinosaur living in my flowerbeds.

But oh, how I wanted a slice.

At thirty-two years old, I’d been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. It scared the hell out of me, and I was determined to take perfect care of myself so I could be the best …

When You Fear Things Might Not Work Out: 3 Helpful Tips

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“Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe.” ~Mark Victor Hansen

This summer, after three years of dreaming, my daughter and I moved from the city I’ve lived in all my life to my dream city six hours north.

The season of summer is known as a time when plants fruit, grow, and bloom. In order to harvest new crops we have to have a clear field and clean soil to plant in, right?

Before we can grow new things, we need to look hard at what isn’t working for us, …

Why You Deserve to Applaud Yourself

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“I have done my best. That is all the philosophy of living one needs” ~Lin-yutang

Take a break and take a look in the mirror. Look at yourself and smile while you congratulate yourself for everything you have been through, good or bad, ups and downs.

It doesn’t matter whether you climbed Mount Everest, learned French in Paris, completed medical school, worked at the local grocery store, or “simply” lay on the sofa for far longer than you had planned in order to figure out your life’s purpose and goals.

The main point is that everything that you have been …

4 Massive Motivation Killers and How to Overcome Them

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“Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.” ~Robert H. Schuller

For the entirety of my life I have had an external source of structure.

I’ve very much thrived when both guided and held accountable by others. You could say that I’m a “systems” friendly person and have always felt safe and secure when I can simply follow the guidelines or instructions and then arrive at the intended destination.

The only problem is that I didn’t always create the “intended” destination. In fact, it usually wasn’t even where I wanted to be. It was where I thought I …

Why Letting Yourself Feel Broken is the Key to Feeling Whole

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“Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.” ~Paul Coelho

I spent my twenty-fifth birthday crying alone at the foot of a mountain. While I had always found solace in spending time by myself, in that moment, I did not recognize my “self.”  Without my self, I had nothing.

I was utterly alone.

Three weeks earlier, a man was shot just feet away from my front door. My then-boyfriend and I performed CPR until an ambulance arrived, but the man had been killed on impact. The police left my home at 3 a.m.; …

A Simple Technique to Solve Problems Before They Get Bigger

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“As he thinks, so he is; as he continues to think, so he remains.” ~James Allen

It was a beautiful day as we drove down the Desert Road two days after Christmas. The Desert Road is a stretch of highway in the North Island of New Zealand.

On one side of the highway, three magnificent volcanoes provide the only break to the bleak, stark landscape. Otherwise, the ground is covered in dry grasses, rocks, and a straight highway to the horizon.

During the drive, my husband and I were discussing the New Year and what would be the next adventure.…

Embracing Change and Living with Passion: Awaken your Phoenix Spirit

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“All the wonders you seek are within yourself.” ~Sir Thomas Browne

As history claims, the phoenix began as a common bird that’s nest caught on fire by the hand of a god-like figure. As the fire started to consume the bird, instead of suffering, she decided to dance in the flames.

Eventually, the fire reduced the bird to ashes. However, this was not the end of that wise bird, for she knew her ending was only the beginning—the beginning of something greater than what she ever thought possible, a resurrection.

The seemingly done-for bird emerged, more powerful and more …

A Simple Process to Deal with a Hypercritical Mind

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“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

“I can’t believe I screwed this up again!”

“Why did I do that?”

“This is all my fault!”

The third grader ruminated as he walked away from the soccer field where his team had tied, two to two. It was their sixth tie in seven games.

The lone game that was not a tie was a loss. According to this young man, his team’s record was a direct reflection of his worth; therefore, verbal self-deprecation was the only response one should have after such failure.

His …

Forgiving In a Situation That Feels Unjust

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“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ~Unknown

There I was: numb from a conclusion of a dismissal based on a finding that there was “no reasonable prospect of success.”

Harassed, bullied, victimized, stalked both in-person and online, the Human Rights Tribunal tossed me into another discarded pile of victims to be ignored by the courts because a group of goons were cleaver enough to hide the body of proof.

My assailants comprised of four individuals. One was a divorced teacher …

Learning to Love and Live Again When Life Gets Hard

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“The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.” ~Unknown

It’s when you’ve woken up with a full day ahead of you after only two hours of sleep.

It’s when there’s nothing for you to do but sit by your friends as they deal with tragedies and all the hard stuff life throws at us.

It’s when you don’t know how to handle the situations in your life that are anything but black and white.

It’s when you feel utterly helpless and powerless as you watch someone you care about aching with the deep soul wounds that …

Life Isn’t Always Fair: 5 Steps to Accept Tough Situations

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“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.” ~Sonia Ricotti

I hate my life! It’s a phrase that’s used by teenagers and adults alike. Sometimes we use it for dramatic effect and sometimes we mean this literally.

When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder two years ago and said “I hate my life!” I meant every word. I hated it so much that there were times I didn’t think it was worth living.

The depression was incapacitating. The hypomania disguised itself as extreme anxiety and irrational fears.

In order to stay alive, I …

Book Giveaway: Guide to Loving Yourself and In the Garden of Thoughts

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UPDATE: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. They are:

  • Vanessa Fisher
  • ljchern
  • kbennett10486
  • Jon

Today I’m excited to run a giveaway for two books that I believe complement each other nicely—the site’s latest collaborative project, Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself and In the Garden of Thoughts, a New York Times bestselling inspirational book, written by my new friend Dodinsky.

About In the Garden of Thoughts

I was fortunate to connect with Dodinsky on Facebook, where he runs a popular page called “Positive Outlooks” that’s followed by over two million people.

Though his heartening images and …

Bounce Back from Unexpected Challenges Stronger and Happier

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“True happiness means forging a strong spirit that is undefeated, no matter how trying our circumstances.” -Daisaku Ikeda

Let’s face it, whether big or small, stressful or simple, we all face challenges every day, some easier to deal with than others. Unfortunately, life doesn’t come equipped with an instruction manual to handle these challenges.

No matter how much we try to plan in advance, calculate our every move, or predict what the future will bring, we can never prepare enough for the unexpected.

The past eight months of my life have been filled with more twists and turns than the …

Break Free from Fear: The World’s a Kinder Place Than You May Imagine

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“A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears.” ~Michel de Montaigne

When I was an undergraduate in college I signed up to learn the Fundamentals of Modern Dance. My parents were less than thrilled.

While many of my classmates likely took such a course for an easy A or a chance to revisit their leotard-clad youths, I picked my dance courses with an unannounced and secret ambition to be an instantly amazing dancer.

This, I felt certain, was a sound place to rest my future livelihood upon.

At the beginning of each class we were told …

3 Powerful Insights About Finding Yourself and Creating Change

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“Get out of your head and get into your heart. Think less, feel more.” ~Osho

When you’re on a spiritual quest in the chaotic outlying suburbs of Bangkok, and you’re having a complete and utter meltdown about your ability to face your inner demons and greatest life fears, where should you turn?

Well, I feel well qualified to answer this question, having been in that exact situation!

Where I turned was a peaceful little Buddhist temple, and more specifically a gentle and elderly monk named Yut.

Don’t be deceived by the “gentle and elderly” description, however, for Yut was also …

3 Often Overlooked Causes of Anxiety (And What to Do About Them)

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“Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.” ~ Albert Einstein

An anxious mind is a hard burden to bear. In fact, if you suffer from an anxious mind it can truly feel like a curse.

The racing thoughts. The daily tirade of “what ifs.” The relentless voice of your inner critic constantly nagging you and deriding your every move.

And the worst part is that the mental chatter feels uncontrollable. Truly, there were times when I struggled in vain to quiet my mind.

It was like there was some hub or center in my …

4 Simple But Powerful Tips to Reduce Stress and Anxiety

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“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” ~Charles Swindoll

I found Tiny Buddha because I have never dealt with stress and anxiety all that well, and once I became a full-time working mum of two, this had become a real issue affecting my quality of life.

It was one day earlier this year when I was battling yet another bout of the flu, and I’d just learned about something out of my control at work that would make life even harder, that I went rushing by a group of my friends, not even …

How to Stop Fearing Disapproval: 3 Lessons from Accepting Judgment

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“Lean too much on the approval of people, and it becomes a bed of thorns.” ~Tehyi Hsieh

I remember reading somewhere that the best way to face a fear is through repeated exposure.

In the case of my lifelong need for approval, I have found this to be true.

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted, needed everyone to like me. And not just like me, but agree with and sanction my every choice through obvious signs of validation.

I remember auditioning for a community theater production of Annie when I was twelve.

My …

You Are the One: 5 Helpful Tips for the Brokenhearted

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“All the wonders you seek are within yourself.” ~Sir Thomas Browne

Anyone who has ever gone through some sort of heartbreak knows what awful pain it can cause, both physically and mentally. It can be devastating, shattering, and overwhelming for your spirit.

In the beginning of 2012 I had my heart broken by a person who I thought was “the one.”

Between tears and desperate calls, I found myself searching the Internet for remedies to get over an ex. I knew I was a strong person, but I just couldn’t see anything becoming brighter or better ever.

I constantly …