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Category “change & challenges”

How Accepting the “Bad” Can Lead to Joy and Growth

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“The main affliction of our modern civilization is that we don’t know how to handle the suffering inside us and we try to cover it up with all kinds of consumption.” ~Thich Nhat Hạnh

Since I was little, I’ve been taught to avoid what’s “bad” and move toward what’s “good.”

Growing up, my mom would work day and night not only to support me and my little brother with the basic necessities, but to give us a “good” life.

She loved us, so naturally she wanted to support us and to give us happiness, and …

4 Things to Remember When Life Feels Hopeless

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“However long the night, the dawn will break.” ~African Proverb

Were there times in your life where it felt anything that could go wrong went wrong? That was me five years ago.

In a span of nine months, my marriage to a partner of eight years broke down, I lost four family members to unexpected deaths, and I suddenly found myself hurtled from living the dream life to being jobless, penniless, and homeless.

To say life knocked the wind out of me would be an understatement.

Each time I picked myself up, another blow would send me sprawling toward a …

Why Embracing Painful Feelings is the Key to Happiness and Freedom

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“In our struggle for freedom, truth is the only weapon we possess.” ~Dalai Lama

I often ask myself what led me to that place of feeling like I didn’t deserve to love myself.

When I look back to my youth I remember feeling hopeless. My mom, my hero, was sick a lot, and I could tell she wasn’t happy. And my dad didn’t always know how to act around a sensitive little girl.

There was a “funny” story told at family gatherings about how after seeing the movie Mary Poppins, I would sit for hours in my little red …

We Are Victors, Not Victims

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TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of assault and may be triggering to some people. 

“You are not a victim. No matter what you have been through, you’re still here. You may have been challenged, hurt, betrayed, beaten, and discouraged, but nothing has defeated you. You are still here! You have been delayed but not denied. You are not a victim, you are a victor. You have a history of victory.” ~Steve Maraboli

I was about twenty years old. It was a beautiful summer day, and I decided to walk to my parents’ house.

I usually called them …

Limited Edition Tiny Buddha “Just Breathe” Shirt (Supporting the David Lynch Foundation)

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*Update: This campaign has ended. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for daily or weekly emails, and to learn about future shirt campaigns!”

Hi friends! For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Lori, the founder of Tiny Buddha.

For the past two weeks, I’ve been offering a limited edition “Just Breathe” shirt, and I’ve been excited to see the response from the community! The campaign ends this Sunday, so if you’d like to grab a shirt, this is your last opportunity to do so.

A portion of the proceeds will go to the David Lynch Foundation, a nonprofit that …

Create a Team to Battle Fears and Loneliness

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“When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” ~Lao Tzu

Five years ago, I found myself rebuilding my life after my fourteen-year marriage ended. During those first months preceding my divorce, crushing feelings of fear and loneliness often consumed me. Thankfully, I began seeing a wonderful therapist named Muriel.

Each week, I held my breath until it was time for my appointment, when I could curl up on Muriel’s sofa and exhale all my anxieties.

One week, when I was particularly overwhelmed, Muriel gave me the number of the local Crisis Hotline and insisted that …

3 Steps to Help You Embrace and Move Past Rejection

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“Wisdom is merely the movement from fighting life to embracing it.” ~Rasheed Ogunlaru

There were many things I wasn’t prepared for when it came to baby raising: the constant self-doubt, the vocal opinions of others, teething that never ended. But the real shock was when my ten-month-old daughter rejected me.

It is human nature to avoid rejection. Nothing is more painful than trying your best or giving your heart and being told it’s not good enough or unwanted. In my case, I went beyond avoiding rejection—I denied the possibility of its existence.

My childhood experiences led me to believe that …

How to Make Anxiety Work for You, Not Against You

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“Growth begins when we start to accept our own weakness.” 
~Jean Vanier

I got fired from my job, my boyfriend left me, and my father died in one day.

In reality, my career was going super well, I didn’t have a boyfriend, and my father was amazingly healthy, but what I did have was something I call an ultra amazing imagination, where I would make up fascinating stories about things that could happen and worry about them. (Or as other people call it, general anxiety disorder.)

I met my now BFF anxiety when I was about ten years old. Initially, …

Out of Every Crisis Comes the Opportunity to be Reborn

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“Always seek out the seed of triumph in every adversity.” ~Og Mandino

In November of 2007 my life burned to the ground—quite literally.

I lost my house, four foster dogs, my sixteen-year-old cat, four pet rats, all of my possessions—and with that, my sense of peace and safety in the world.

I had called every fear I ever had into my life on that one, dark day. In short order, I was homeless, jobless, and for the most part, friendless.

I was downsized from my full-time job, let go from my part-time job of five years (on my birthday), and …

50 Questions That Will Help You Feel Grateful and Good About Life

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“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~Melody Beattie

There’s very little that upsets me like feeling stuck and out of control. That’s exactly how I felt at the beginning of this year.

Things were going well in many areas of my life, but I was unhappy living in my boyfriend’s childhood home in a Bay Area suburb, after we’d spent years living in LA and traveling. Though I knew this was ideal for him, it just didn’t feel right for me,

And even if I could wrap my brain around …

Surviving Life’s Storms: Have Hope That Life Will Carry On

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“I’ll never know, and neither will you, of the life you don’t choose. We’ll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn’t carry us. There’s nothing to do but salute it from the shore.” ~Cheryl Strayed

I have weathered my fair share of storms.

When I was in college, I met a boy a month after arriving on campus. I was eighteen, naive, and completely in love. The red flags were there by the truckload. As each red flag appeared, I darkened the tint on …

5 Fear-Based Decisions that Limit Our Potential

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“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself . . .” ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

You’ve heard that quote more times than you can count.

You’ve also made fear-based decisions; we all have.

Looking back, you can point to times it has happened and caused you to fall short of what you could have achieved.

It has certainly has happened to me.

I was three years into my first career as a high school science teacher. I had always wanted to live abroad, specifically Mexico, and I had always wanted to learn Spanish (after taking an embarrassing amount in …

How to Make Life’s Challenges Count for Something Good

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“Life shrinks and expands in proportion to one’s courage.” ~Anais Nin

Many people have told me that I am a brave person. Mostly though, I think I just play the cards I’m dealt.

When I was twenty-one years old, I had a stroke. In a single moment, everything I had ever taken for granted about my health and about my youth flew right out the window. I felt truly vulnerable for the first time in my young life and it scared the bejesus out of me.

Following a full recovery, that fear quickly turned into intense bitterness and anger that …

Learn To Flourish When You Are Not In Control

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“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” ~Steve Maraboli

On December 31, 2011 I experienced something I will never be able to blink away. I watched as my twelve-year-old daughter convulsed, turned blue, and stopped breathing on the floor of our living room.

Time stood still. I heard my blood whoosh through my ears. I became a helpless observer. This simply couldn’t be happening to us; she was fine only a moment ago.

I remember the exact moment when I …

How to Regain Confidence After Someone Puts You Down

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“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone.” ~Maya Angelou 

Have you ever been the recipient of put-downs, snide remarks, or hostile language?

If you have, your confidence may have suffered a significant nosedive.

I once attended a summer music camp for young musicians. I was studying the piano and enjoyed playing classical music, but I always had a deep fear of performing in front of others, especially other highly skilled musicians.

Desiring to overcome this crippling fear, I decided to audition for an upcoming recital. To my surprise, the audition went smoothly, and I qualified to …

A Simple Trick to Feel Less Anxious and More Confident

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“Nothing in the affairs of men is worthy of great anxiety.” ~Plato

A few weeks ago, I was standing in front of a mirror in the women’s bathroom at work.

I could feel the cold sweat down my spine and was angry for not being able to gain a better control of myself. I attempted everything in the book—took deep breaths, closed my eyes, tried to calm down, counted slowly to fifty.

No change.

My anxiety was still running high, my pulse was rushing, and I looked as a frightened little bird trapped in a cage. The occasion? An …

Changing Directions: 6 Tips to Help You Do What’s Right for You

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“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.” ~Lao Tzu

One month before my girlfriend, Sara, gave birth to our first child, we decided to move back to my small hometown to be close to my family.

This was a great moment for my family, especially for my mom and dad, who had given up hope of me moving back a decade ago.

I sold my apartment and we signed a rental lease in my hometown. Everything was set and good to go. Sara and I were happy, and we had a plan to …

The Pain Won’t Stop Until You Accept What Is

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“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.” ~Sonia Ricotti

Life is sometimes ridiculously hard. It sucks. It rips out your heart and your entrails, spins them around the room, and stuffs them back in unceremoniously through the hole from which they were ripped.

And it expects you to smile and carry on. People expect you to carry on. Because that is what we think people do.

I felt like this a few years ago when my marriage ended. Luckily, I had good people around me. They didn’t expect that from me.

I, …

How to Get Better at Something New Without Beating Yourself Up

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“Stop beating yourself up. You are a work in progress, which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.” ~Unknown

I love learning. I am fueled by acquiring new skills, understanding human behavior, and observing the beautiful gifts that the universe has for all of us, hopefully all in service of feeding my own curiosity as well as being a better contributor to the world.

I enjoy learning through different mediums—formal classes, reading, meeting new people, traveling, and taking on new challenges.

I have a professional background in analytics, insights, and storytelling and am currently …

10 Thinking Patterns That Can Fuel Depression

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“Nothing can harm you as much as your own thoughts unguarded.” ~Buddha

You know the feeling …

When out of the blue your mood switches.

One moment you’re feeling upbeat and optimistic; next you’re feeling down in the dumps.

You can’t think clearly and struggle to put things into perspective. The bright outlook on life of a moment ago has vanished, and in its place now resides an intense longing for its return.

You feel disconnected, lost, and confused, and everything around you looks and feels dark and bleak. And even though you have no reason to feel this way, …