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Category “change & challenges”

The Past May Have Shaped Us, But We Have the Power to Change

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“If you want to fly, you have to give up the things that weigh you down.” ~Toni Morrison

Our very first relationship is the one we develop with ourselves. However, even that one is shaped by outside forces.

You may or may not believe that we choose our family. Regardless of your position regarding how your soul made it to your parents’ household, the truth is that the environment we are born into determines a great deal of the rest of our lives. This is especially true about the way we relate with ourselves and others.

We learn by observing …

Made a Big Mistake? What to Do Instead of Beating Yourself Up

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“Note to self: Beating yourself up for your flaws and mistakes won’t make you perfect, and you don’t have to be. Learn, forgive yourself, and remember: We all struggle; it’s just part of being human.” ~Lori Deschene

When I was in twelfth grade I took a World Issues class and learned about colonization, child soldiers, and how some children, by no fault of their own, had a much more challenging life than I’d had. After that, I wanted to help but wasn’t sure how.

Then, at age twenty-three, I was hired at a non-profit organization where I had the opportunity …

Stop Talking So You Can Start Feeling

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“Don’t hide from your feelings. Press into them. Learn from them. Grow from them.” ~Unknown

There have been times in my life when you could look at my cell phone call log and see back-to-back conversations for hours. I am blessed to have a large support system of loving friends and family, and there have been many times when that has saved me from facing my pain.

If you know anything about attachments styles or are one of millions who suffer from anxiety, you will relate when I tell you that I spent most of my life incredibly anxious. Most …

Everyone Has Struggles, So Don’t Stigmatize Yourself

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“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.” ~BrenĂ© Brown

From a psychological point of view, my childhood sucked.

I didn’t have many friends, I rarely left the house, I was terribly shy, and I used to get bullied a lot, both physically and mentally.

My teenage years weren’t any different. The psychological issues I had as a child amplified further and created more profound problems.

When I started college, I didn’t magically become more confident or develop high self-esteem. I was almost the same person.

Now, I proudly (and humbly) can say …

How I’ve Learned to Free Myself from Depression When It Hits

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“No feeling is final.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke

I’ve battled depression for most of my life. In my younger years, it gripped me pretty frequently. I was first hit with suicidal thoughts at the age of fifteen, and it scared the bejesus out of me. I was young and dumb and had no idea what was happening.

When I was twenty-five it hit again. This time, however, I understood the cause. I was getting divorced, and my entire life was in turmoil.

It was at this time that I decided that I was going to do something about it. So, I …

6 Powerful Steps to Stop Binge Eating for Good

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“As long as you are breathing, there is more right with you than wrong with you, no matter how ill or how despairing you may be feeling in a given moment.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

Binge eating is hard. For me, winter time has always been hardest.

The winter of 2011 was particularly bad. It was then that I sat, hands clasped around my knees, thinking about how best to kill myself.

Hopeless only scratches the surface of what I was feeling—that same feeling I’d had on-and-off for fifteen years. I was twenty-three. I’d spent half my life in darkness.

I …

Walking Through Fire: Change Can Be Scary, But It’s Worth It

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“What matters most is how well you walk through the fire.” ~Charles Bukowski

I used to be scared to walk through the fire.

I was scared to do deeply unsettling, terrifying, hard things.

I was scared to face my biggest fears and struggles head on.

And for the greater part of my twenties, I did everything I could to avoid the heat.

In particular, there was one fire that scared me to my core.

As I graduated college, I was the happiest I’d ever been: I’d met my very best friends, traveled to small, colonial Mexican towns, studied meaningful subjects, …

You Aren’t Stuck in Life: Commit to Change and Get Started

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“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” ~Mark Twain

We all have big dreams, big goals, and big ideas on what we think our life should look like, or how we think life will end up.

Some of us meticulously plan out our lives, envisioning and letting ourselves daydream as we think about all the stuff we’d love to accomplish. I’d wager that our plans include some pretty big things in life that would make us feel pretty proud.

The problem is, a lot of us have trouble reaching the potential we’ve set for ourselves. Time kind of …

How I’ve Learned to Fully Appreciate the Little Time I Have on Earth

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“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” ~Norman Cousins

Recently, my grandfather passed away. His departure was difficult for me but it has also left me with something I’ll keep for the rest of my life—an unlikely lesson about life and gratitude.

I hadn’t seen my grandfather often before he died because I’ve been living abroad for the last couple of years. But I was still fond of him and I warmly remembered the days we had spent together when I was young. So his passing was a …

3 Ways to Stop Worrying and Feel Less Anxious

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“There isn’t enough room in your mind for both worry and faith. You must decide which one will live there.” ~Sir Robertson

Do you consider yourself a worrier?

Maybe even a perfectionist or Type A personality?

When I’m not at my best, I can be all of those things combined. (Not cute, I know.)

Because of this, I know exactly what it feels like to be stuck in my head, with tightness in my chest and emotional wrenches in my gut.

If you also struggle with worry and anxiety, then I feel you. I rode the worry struggle …

How I Stopped Emotional Eating and Started Feeling Better About Life

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“Don’t forget you’re human. It’s okay to have a meltdown, just don’t unpack and live there.” ~Unknown

For the longest time, I wanted to lose weight. I wasn’t terribly overweight but it seemed to me that if I could just have the perfect body, life would be amazing.

So, I threw everything but the kitchen sink at my food and exercise habits.

Never one to settle for small wins, I pushed myself to have the perfect diet—I prepped meals at home, didn’t eat out very much, and worked out as often as I could. Yes, the kind where I …

3 Things That Are Helping Me Deal with Stress, Pain, and Loss

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“Being on a spiritual path does not prevent you from facing times of darkness; but it teaches you how to use the darkness as a tool to grow.” ~Unknown

Life has not been kind lately.

My aunt passed away in October. She had been suffering from cancer, but her family kept the extent of her illness to themselves, and hence I did not have a chance to see her before she passed away. I felt bad about that.

My father followed her a month later, just after Thanksgiving. He had been ailing from Parkinson’s Disease, but his death as well …

It’s Okay to Have Feelings, So Stop Saying “I’m Fine” When You’re Not

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“I’d rather be honest and authentic and disappoint some people than to exhaust myself trying to keep up the façade of perfection.” ~Crystal Paine

So many people walk around each day masking their true feelings because they are considered the “strong one,” “the upbeat, bubbly one,” or, since they give so much of themselves supporting others, they’re not seen as having any emotions other than happy. If you’ve ever felt like you had to hold it together all the time to keep up a façade for others, there’s freedom in letting people know that you have feelings too.

Keeping …

Loving Yourself Through Addiction and Relapse: Be Patient with the Process

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“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” ~Nelson Mandela

It’s a cold winter day. As I plunge my hand down into the wax paper bag, I fully expect to find another bite or two. But, alas, there are only crumbs.

A distinct wave of sadness shoots through my heart. The chocolate scone is gone. And I don’t even remember eating it.

It is in this moment that I wake up. I quickly shake my head from side to side, as if rousing myself from a long night of troubled dreams.…

Pre-Order Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal and Receive 3 Free Bonus Gifts

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There was a time when worrying was like breathing to me. It’s estimated that we think between 50,000 and 70,000 thoughts per day and we breathe 23,040 breaths. It would likely be accurate for me to say I once panicked as often as I inhaled.

I worried about what people thought of me. I worried that people weren’t thinking of me at all. I worried about what could go wrong. I worried I might have done something wrong. And I worried about being wrong—just by being me.

All this worry was crippling. It’s hard to enjoy anything when you’re there …

Why I No Longer Believe There’s Something Wrong with Me

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“Our thoughts create our beliefs, meaning if you think about yourself a certain way for a long enough period of time you will ultimately believe it.” ~Anonymous

You’re ugly. You’re stupid. You’re a loser.

Imagine thinking this way about yourself every day. No exaggeration. That was me.

When a girl didn’t want to go on a second date with me, I told myself I was ugly. When I didn’t know what someone was talking about, I told myself I was stupid. When my Instagram post only received two likes, I told myself I was loser.

I spoon-fed myself toxic …

No Matter What Life Takes Away, You Still Have Everything You Need

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“What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?” ~Jean-Jacques Rousseau

On February 21, 2009, I received a phone call that would alter the course of my life. It was my sister, and I could barely make out what she was saying. My mom was in the hospital and had received a diagnosis of terminal pancreatic cancer.

My body absorbed the news before my brain did. Since I had lost my ability to reason, from someplace beyond me I found a way to keep functioning. I asked my sister to put my mom on the phone.

What could I …

Drop the Mask: The Freedom of Living an Authentic Life

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“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ~e.e Cummings

Here is an unsettling idea: Most of us are not who we think we are. We are not the people we bring to work, we are not the people we show to our parents and children, and sometimes we are not the people we show our friends.

Most of us go through our entire lives wearing a series of masks.

We have different masks for different purposes and occasions. The “perfect” mask of someone who’s always strong, positive, and together; the professional mask for today’s …

Embracing Impermanence: Lessons from Living with a Chronic Illness

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“Nothing is permanent in this world, not even our troubles.” ~Charlie Chaplin

At thirteen, I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome. At first, I patiently waited for my doctor to give me medicine. When he didn’t, I patiently waited (for several years) for someone to find the cure.

As the years went on I wasn’t getting any better. Though I went to more doctors than I could count, none had any new advice for me, and the medical community wasn’t any closer to figuring out how to heal this illness.

Life was unpredictable. I didn’t know what I’d be able …

We Can’t Do Everything, But We Can Do More Than We Think

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“There are plenty of obstacles in your path. Don’t allow yourself to become one of them.” ~Ralph Marston

I was sitting in a self-improvement course listening to the facilitator’s instructions. “I want you to come up with a Big, Hairy, Audacious Goal,” she announced. “This needs to be a stretch, something where you really put skin in the game. You have seven weeks to reach this goal.”

The rest of her instructions trailed off as I thought about which area of my life I wanted to improve. I overheard a few of my classmates talking to each other about …