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Category “change & challenges”

How to Tame a Worrying Mind During Difficult Times

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EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

“Mental health is just as important as physical health.” ~Unknown

Our main focus during this challenging time is quite rightly on our physical well-being. But we shouldn’t forget about our mental health considering these are stressful times for all of us.

Will we get sick?

Will our loved ones die?

Will we have enough food to feed the family?

How will we pay the bills?

Will things ever get back to normal?

So many questions, so many worries.

Worrying used to …

What I Learned About Love and Grief When I Lost My Cats

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“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” ~Anatole France

Unconditional love.

The thought of my cats envelops me with warmth whenever I think of them.

Why? Because we’re so connected. It’s an ethereal thing. Beyond words. Beyond reality. Beyond rationality.

When I’m holding them, I feel so spiritually connected. They stretch out as I start to scratch their backs, signaling that they like it. A welcome sign I should continue.

They stare with their mysterious eyes. Their stares are hard to read. Yet, they tell you a lot of things. They open the flood …

Beating the Coronavirus Pandemic: It’s All About Endurance

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EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

“When you’re going through hell, keep going.” ~Winston Churchill

A couple weeks ago the Greek government announced that our quarantine would continue “well beyond April 6th,” the original date for which it had been set. We knew this was coming, but it was still hard to hear.  And it was this same moment that my memories as a long-distance runner came flooding back.

I started running track and cross country when I was eleven years old. I joined the Los Gatos …

Autoimmune & Coronavirus: Beating the Panic & Fear in All of Us

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EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

“The problem is not the existence of stressors, which cannot be avoided; stress is simply the brain’s way of signaling that something is important. The problem—or perhaps the opportunity—is how we respond to this stress.” ~The Book of Joy

For the past few weeks, I took pride in being able to keep fear at a distance.

My motto was “Don’t let the fear in. The fear makes you a vulnerable host to coronavirus.”

Since I have Crohn’s disease, an autoimmune condition, …

How I’m Finding Hope in the Pandemic

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EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” ~Joseph Campbell

It’s hard to believe the state of the world we are in. It feels like 2020 has become the plot of an apocalyptic movie.

A microscopic virus invades planet earth targeting human beings. As mass numbers of human beings retreat indoors, wildlife begins to flourish. Slowly, continent by continent, the human bacteria is eliminated. Only the …

Maybe This Forced Pause Is Actually Good for the Planet

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EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

“The earth is what we all have in common.” ~Wendell Berry

 I love the warmth and brightness of sunny days, but I’ve always enjoyed the stillness that comes around as the rain starts to fall, as well.

Creatures retreat to the warmth and dryness of shelters and home spaces. Outdoor work and routines are rethought, sometimes placed on pause. The world, at least as far as the rain clouds stretch, quiets.

In some ways, these current moments in our world feel …

Stressed and Anxious? Here’s How to Stay Emotionally Healthy

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EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

“Health is not just about what you’re eating. It’s also about what you’re thinking and saying.”

A virus is spreading across the globe. Schools are shut down. People are out of work. Grocery stores are empty.

Weddings, graduations, vacations, a day in court—canceled.

This is the ultimate test in emotional resilience.

Uncertainty is one of the main reasons we stress, along with a lack of control, and right now we’ve got it in truckloads. I’ve spent the last decade building my …

Trauma Can Make Us Sick: How I Found a Key to Healing

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“Our bodies contain our histories—every chapter, line, and verse of every event and relationship in our lives.” ~Caroline Myss

I could hear my teacher talking, but I wasn’t listening. Staring at the math homework in front of me, I couldn’t get the sound of my heartbeat out of my head.

Two times two equals, thump thump, equals thump thump, four.

The more I focused on my heartbeat, the louder it became. I could even feel beating in my chest.

Noticing the clock, I had ten more minutes before my mom would meet me in the school office. We …

3 Approaches to the Coronavirus (and Which Is Smartest)

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EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

“Don’t try to calm the storm. Calm yourself. The storm will pass.” ~Buddha

As we all now know, the coronavirus (COVID-19) has been spreading globally. It is a serious threat, less because of the raw numbers involved (as of March 22, 2020, there are less than 340,000 known infected cases with a global population of over 7 billion people), but more because the trajectory is dangerous, the spread is exponential, and the growth occurs very quickly.

The virus contained would not …

How I Overcame My Anger to Be Better for My Family

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“Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.” ~Eckhart Tolle

As a special-needs parent, it feels that I am in constant anger and fight mode.

I am fighting with my children on the home front.

I am fighting for their right to get access to services.

I am fighting for their acceptance.

I am fighting for my children to help them make progress.

To be in constant fight mode can be overwhelming and exhausting.

In my weakness, I let my emotions get the best of me.

I lose my temper with my loved ones.

The One Thing I Regret

…

How to Stay Mindful and Safe Amid the Coronavirus Outbreak

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EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

“We cannot always control everything that happens to us in this life, but we can control how we respond.” ~Lionel Kendrick

The coronavirus is no longer isolated to just China. It’s here, affecting over ninety countries, and it continues to spread worldwide with new cases popping up daily. It’s all over the news and there is an inescapable sense of anxiety, stress, and uncertainty.

Just within the last week, there were over fifty confirmed cases in the Bay Area, where …

How to Know If Hidden Low Self-Esteem Is Holding You Back in Life

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“Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time. Forgive yourself for giving away your power. Forgive yourself for past behaviors. Forgive yourself for the survival patterns and traits you picked up while enduring trauma. Forgive yourself for being who you needed to be.” ~Audrey Kitching

You can try it all—exercise, a bubble bath, a relationship, a promotion, and everything else that you think will make you happy. I have come to learn those things will not give you the kind of happiness you desire until they coincide with you knowing your worth.

At my unhappiest times, my eyes were …

How to End the Cycle of Addiction in Your Family

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“You could have grown cold, but you grew courageous instead. You could have given up, but you kept on going. You could have seen obstacles, but you called them adventures. You could have called them weeds, but instead you called them wildflower. You could have died a caterpillar, but you fought on to be a butterfly. You could have denied yourself goodness, but instead you chose to show yourself some self-love. You could have defined yourself by the dark days, but instead through them you realized your light.” ~S.C. Lourie

I recently read a message written by Kirk Franklin: “Two …

What to Do When You’re Stressed, Distressed, or Overwhelmed

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“Picture a pattern of upright dominoes that have been positioned just far enough away from one other to highlight the gap between them, but just close enough to hit each other if one of them tips over. Hit a single domino and it sets off a chain reaction. Oftentimes, our own actions, reactions and counter-reactions, criticisms and defensive responses function like dominoes. When we’re not able to access our mindfulness, reactivity takes over.” ~Alicia Muñoz

Before my husband and I were married, he lived in New Zealand and I lived in the States. One way we coped with the distance …

How Anxiety Became My Guide, Not My Enemy

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“You are not a mess. You are a feeling person in a messy world.” ~Glennon Doyle Melton

I have suffered with some type of anxiety for as long as I can remember.

The stomach aches at age five. Trips to the specialist, always coming back with no known cause.

The feelings in grade school of being different, of sticking out, or being mortally embarrassed to give a wrong answer.

As I got older, I strived for perfection in every way, so as to avoid criticism and feeling less-than. I was a people-pleaser to a fault, because to say NO would …

Radical Gratitude: How to Turn Your Pain into Peace

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My journey to living in gratitude began in 2010. And let me say that up until that time, until I was age forty-five, I was a complainer, griper, and a whiner, with absolutely no reason to complain!

Luckily, I was saved from these very wasteful, counter-productive habits when I was given a blank journal one Thanksgiving season by a New Thought minister, who told us if we journaled five things we were grateful for forty days, our life would change exponentially for the better.

I dutifully wrote my gratitude lists, and oh my god, my life did change. It …

The Skills You Need to Survive Stress When It Hits

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“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” ~William James

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt your world was ending? When the stress was overwhelming and you were so miserable, all you wanted to do was wallow in it and growl at the world from underneath the bed covers?

Or maybe you worry about things that might happen in the future. Do you see a minor accident on the road and have those flashes of imagining that your partner or your child died in a car crash?

Does your imagination …

How I Healed from Gaslighting and Found Self-Love After the Abuse

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“I smile because I have survived everything the world has thrown at me. I smile because when I was knocked down, I got back up.” ~Unknown

Had you asked me only two years ago I wouldn’t have even been able to tell you what gaslighting was, nor that I had been a victim.

That’s the thing about gaslighting, it can sneak into your life unknowingly, and before you know it, it can lead you to breaking point where you are doubting your sanity and your life is spiralling out of control.

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse, where an …

Why an Internal Focus is The Solution to All of Your Problems

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“The moment you take personal responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you can change anything in your life.” ~Hal Elrod

I’m an introspective person, and at this point in my life don’t have any problems with taking personal responsibility. When I share my insights or understanding of situations I have been in, people often say, “Marlena, why are you so hard on yourself? What about the people that have wronged and harmed you? Why do you never mention them?”

For most of my life, I was trapped in a victim mindset, which meant that I focused …

Growing Up with a Narcissist: How I’m Healing from the Abuse

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“You could have grown cold, but you grew courageous instead. You could have given up, but you kept on going. You could have seen obstacles, but you called them adventures. You could have called them weeds, but instead you called them wildflower. You could have died a caterpillar, but you fought on to be a butterfly. You could have denied yourself goodness, but instead you chose to show yourself some self-love. You could have defined yourself by the dark days, but instead through them you realized your light.” ~S.C. Lourie

As the memories of my childhood flash within my mind, …