“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” ~Wayne Dyer
How many days do you wake up feeling like you’re a hamster on a wheel? You brush your teeth, take a shower, drink your coffee, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch television, go to bed, and rinse and repeat.
Do you wonder how you can keep going and keep everything together when it feels like you’re doing nothing, going nowhere, and living some life you weren’t meant for?
Do you ever wonder what to do on those days where you feel like you can’t go on? On days where life seems to have no point? You’re going through the motions, but there is always an empty pit somewhere inside your soul that never seems to fill.
It seems that no matter how hard you try, you end up in the same spot, in the same position having to start all over again, and your inability to change your messed up emotional patterns starts taking an excruciating toll.
You wonder and think and read and try to break free from the subconscious battles within your mind, but the negative stranglehold has a strong grip and does not want to release you so easily.
Maybe the pain has become intolerable, and instead of going away it has continued to eat away at your peace of mind bit by bit. But, then another day dawns and you’re still here and you live to start again.
I have been in a cycle of rinse and repeat for more years than I care to remember. I have changed jobs at least ten times, apartments and locations twenty-three times, and boyfriends six times. I’ve had the same happy hour and the same weekends and the same soul-searching periods over and over and over again.
I have tried to change all these external things because I figured changing the outside would change the inside. But like they always say, “Wherever you go, there you are.”
Despite traveling the world, changing jobs, moving, and having relationships, I live my life in a little bubble because I feel safe there, and staying safe means being resistant to any real transformation. It doesn’t matter that I’ve changed my circumstances; the end result is always the same: I feel bored and empty and lost and alone.
You feel bored and empty and lost and alone because you never really do anything different. Whether you stay stuck because you’re an introvert or you have social anxiety or you’re depressed or you’re lazy doesn’t matter. The fact of the matter is, change nothing and nothing will change.
Look, I get it. I am a tried and true introvert, so developing relationships is exhausting. People think I’m extroverted because I can talk quite a bit one-on-one, but put me in a group and I’ll clam up. I become super anxious at parties or in large groups of people, preferring one-on-one in-depth interactions. Being an introvert makes life a little more challenging in a world that embraces and rewards extroversion.
So, maybe there are days when you feel like you’re going nowhere and you don’t fit in and life has no point. But, you can change it, even if just a little. There are some little things you can do to change your patterns and your life.
How Do You Keep Trying?
First, you get up every damn day and say, “Today is a day for change” and you do your best and face the world, whether you want to or not. Every day you fight for yourself because if you don’t, no one else will. I know it’s hard and I know some days you want to stay in bed with the covers over your head. But, don’t do it. Get up. Go for a walk. Do something. Anything.
Some days I force myself to get in the car and drive to the beach (okay, it’s only four miles) because I’m so comfortable in my apartment. Every time I get there I’m happy I did. I roll out my towels and read a book while listening to the waves crash, or I walk along the water’s edge watching the sand between my toes and squishing those weird little seaweed blobs.
Second, you start becoming aware of the negative thought patterns in your mind and how they affect you when you get caught up in them. The truth is, you are reacting to events in your life in a way that is detrimental rather than helpful. Negativity breeds more negativity and keeps you stuck on that hamster wheel.
I’m not saying it’s easy. I get it. Some days when I’m trying super hard to think positively, my mind says, “Yeah, I don’t care. I am going to feel or think this way anyway, so deal with it.” Some days I simply need to embrace how I feel instead of forcing myself to be positive. But I know I need to eventually shift my mindset or I’ll always be stuck. So, I keep trying. If you can’t change the way you see the world, then the world you see will never change.
Recently I found myself on the verge of a breakup, a move, a deploying boyfriend, and no job. My head went into a tailspin worrying about what I would do or where I would go and why this was happening. But, with all the work I’ve been doing on myself, I decided to see everything in a new light.
Maybe this was an opportunity for positive change instead of a devastating loss. I stopped worrying and started believing I would be okay. I was only able to do this because I have been practicing changing my perspective. Think of your mind as a muscle. If you strengthen it and work it out, it becomes stronger. If you let it sit there and wallow in self-pity, it never grows.
I stopped focusing on the worst-case scenario, and do you know what happened? We didn’t break up. He signed for an apartment us, and I got a job within a week of his departure. I know things won’t always work out how I want them to just because I think positively, but I now believe I will be okay no matter what happens, and that’s making a huge difference.
The same can be true for you.
You may face unexpected challenges. We all do. Changing your mindset won’t guarantee that everything will be okay. But it will give you the insight and strength to believe that you will be okay and that you can handle what life dishes up. And it will also help you create a life that feels more fulfilling and less empty.
The first step in any change is recognition. You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. Start to notice that you have a negative pattern of thinking that keeps you stuck. I’m guessing you will probably be amazed at how much and how often your mind wanders toward the negative.
From there, start practicing mindfulness, which basically means you are aware of what you’re thinking, but you don’t get caught up in your thoughts. See if you can separate the negative thoughts from your being. Anyone who has studied meditation will tell you that you can use a technique to distance yourself from your thoughts. Try to place them in a balloon and watch them fly away.
You are not your thoughts and feelings. You experience thoughts and feelings, but they don’t need to own you. I know this isn’t easy, but it is doable.
Personally, my mind always sees deficit instead of abundance. Whether this came from years of sexual abuse or family upbringing or genetic coding, I’m not sure, and at this point I don’t really care why. What matters is that I want to change it because it has become exhausting to always be so unsatisfied.
How Do You Effect All This Change?
Tony Robbins says that change can happen in an instant, but I think that statement needs a little tweaking. I think the ability to change can happen in an instant. When you decide you want more or you deserve better or you become sick and tired of being sick and tired, then you have now opened the door to change.
One way to start creating change is to change the words you use to describe how you’re feeling. Our language affects our emotions, and our emotions influence our choices. Tony Robbins offers a 10-Day Challenge that can help with this.
I love this challenge because it forces you to take a hard, deep look at how you speak to yourself and how you treat yourself daily and even hourly.
Next, try to cultivate more happiness in your life a little bit at a time. Research has shown that happiness is, in fact, a choice, and although you may have a certain “set point” of happiness, you do have the ability to make yourself happier by doing things like:
Start meditating.
Everyone must be spouting the benefits of meditation for a reason, right? Well, studies have shown that meditation can improve our health mentally and physically by reducing stress.
You don’t have to turn into Buddha and sit under a tree for hours, but even five to ten minutes per day will give you a few moments of insightful reflection and peace. If you’re like me and have a wandering mind, start out with guided meditation because they’ll keep you more focused.
A few of my favorites are The Honest Guys and Jason Stephenson.
Begin a gratitude journal.
Studies have shown that writing down three specific things you are grateful for every day for just twenty-one days will increase your happiness. Tiny Buddha has a great gratitude journal to get you started.
Volunteer or find a way to help someone.
Volunteering connects us to other people, and it can give us a sense of purpose. It can also be fun and enjoyable, if you choose something based on your interests, like working with kids in the arts or baking birthday cakes for underprivileged youth. Maybe you love animals but can’t afford one or aren’t home enough to take care of one, but you can take some time to volunteer at an animal shelter and help them find a furever home!
You can likely find something that interests you at VolunteerMatch.org.
Get out there and exercise.
I love endorphins! If you’re type A and have a lot of energy, then the more energy you expend during exercise the happier you’ll be. If you hate the gym (like me), find something you enjoy doing whether it’s walking in the woods, doing yoga in the privacy of your own home, or joining a kayaking team. The options are endless.
What about becoming a bad-ass by learning Krav Maga or starting martial arts? I mean, who doesn’t want to be as Zen as Bruce Lee?
Figure out what you’re good at and start doing it.
We all have strengths, and we feel a lot more fulfilled when we use them instead of sitting around, focusing on our weaknesses. If you’re not sure what your strengths are, take the character strengths survey here.
Create a social support network.
They say that people who have at least five strong social connections are the happiest. Many of us feel so lost and alone because we have Facebook connections, but no real or genuine face-to-face interactions with friends on a regular basis. If you’re an introvert it will be hard and you’ll have to work at it, but the reward will be worth it. Meetup is a great place to start.
Write or scrapbook or create something.
Being creative opens your mind to new experiences and new possibilities. Color in an adult color book, start a blog, knit, crochet, sculpt or paint, write a children’s book, or journal every night. Medium.com will allow you to publish your writing without starting a formal blog. Get your mind engaged in anything other than thinking!
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Don’t try to do everything at once or you’ll likely become overwhelmed and feel like you’re failing. Pick one thing and do it for a week or ten days, then maybe add another and so on. Every little thing you add will build up like pebbles of sand on the beach, and over time you will have created something beautiful.
We live in a society that wants immediate gratification, and when we don’t get it we tend to give up and move onto something else and blame the activity for not making us happy. Give it some time, be kind to yourself, take it a step at a time, and slowly you will see progress.
If you struggle with something you’ve decided to start, shift your focus to one of the other ideas instead of being hard on yourself.
Example: I signed up for a self-defense class to see if I wanted to join. Of course, I cancelled it before going. I told myself I wasn’t sure if I could afford it right now and I should wait. In part this is true, but in part I dreaded going to the class. However, I’m not going to beat myself up about it. I’ll try some other things right now and then I’ll put myself back out there and try again.
For now, I re-started meditation, which allows me a few moments to reflect and set new intentions. I’ve also started writing more, which provides a creative outlet and gives me a sense of accomplishment.
Beyond that, I’m keeping a gratitude journal and started a new exercise program. The gratitude journal is great for helping you focus on the positive rather than the negative, and exercise is a general stress reliever. I’m taking baby steps, and when I’m ready I’ll try something more social. It’s okay to go at your own pace.
Regardless of what you choose, the point is to live more in the world and less in your head. Just try it.
I promise there won’t be a day where you say, “Jeez, I wish I didn’t exercise” or “I wish I didn’t go for a walk” or “Helping someone really sucked.” But I guarantee if you don’t do anything you will regret it, and you will wake up one day wondering where your life went and how you got to the place you are. And that, my friend, is not what you want.
On this day you can choose life. You can choose a new path and things can change.
About Carrie L. Burns
Carrie L. Burns is a blogger on a mission of self-discovery. As a sexual abuse survivor that struggled for years with depression anxiety, low self-esteem, lack of self-love, and relationship issues, she found her purpose through writing and sharing her story with others. Check out her other writing at www.acinglife.com.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.
Hey iam facing the same issue I know what all are wrong with me but I don’t where to start and how to over come these situations. and iam just 18 here this lockdown totally change my basic charecter and behaviour. I was a social person people loves to talk to me but all of a sudden everything seems so lost. And my girlfriend broke up with me my family situation have been changed. These things totally drowned me in sorrows. Iam trying all my ways to change but can’t really feel any good I need a good advisor for me please if any one read this message help me out of this mental state.please
Hi can we be frnd
I m here for you
I felt that when I was reading these words that wow there is someone else out there who gets it! Someone like me! I could have written this myself. I’m so good at giving others advice but never really good at taking it from myself. So thanks so much for writing this amazing article, you are an Angel and are helping so many people see their worthiness in life. Thank you so much, you have saved me from a dark place x
So it’s not just me then. I actually thought I was reading about my life.
Although I have tried many times over the last 20 years to break the cycle and have always ended back up at square one. Maybe it is time to try again. Thanks for the article.
Just give it one more day .
I am so miserable. A caregiver for my dying spouse. 18 years. No days off, no vacations, no fun, no friends anymore. Have two college degrees with Honors. Graduated 2008. Obama cost my spouse and myself our jobs. We lost all assets but our house. I hate people now. Democrats especially. DEI interviews. No job because I am white. Hopefully with Trump being elected the DEI will lose their jobs. So someone with skills and education can come in. I have had horrible things happen to me. Things that I never expected in my worst nightmares. I hate democrats. They are not as smart as other people. I despise illegals. There is a compound next door to me. Causing nothing but problems. Black people always throw out the race card. Sick of them too. I did everything right, according to society. Yet, nothing turned out for me. Am I cursed? I do not know. This I do know. God took a kind, sweet, non judgmental person and turned her into who I am now. I have no hope, joy, anything. At 65 my life is over. My body does not know it yet. But I do. I want to die and can't until my spouse does. No family left either. I hate the World, hate stupid people who got jobs because of pigmentation. Not as smart as other races, after all they voted in Obama and Biden. FTW. God cares for some people, but He has never been good to me. Even from birth.
I understand. My spouse of 30 years is dying. I have no life anymore. At 65 my life is over. No career, even though I went to college and got an Accounting degree and a Business degree with Honors. I have no joy. No close friends nearby. No fun, no vacations, nothing for me. Ii And I am miserable. I have no hope and see no change. Obama did this, to me and millions of people. Only idiots choose the highest office in the land, by race. And the imbeciles did it twice. Then, they vote in Biden, because the VP is black. All you liberals and blacks, you suck. And you are racist. The rest of us, with a brain and common sense have suffered the past 4 years. Glad that you people riding the short bus awakened. Should have done it before, but you can't fix stupid. Took your EBT cards not getting enough food for you to wake up. I hold you in such disdain. Idiots. Next time, spend 15 minutes reading about who is running. Not just because they are black like you.
I so understand. I moved back to my home state after my divorce. Worst thing I ever did in regards to my career chances and happiness. Had lots of friends, a social life and if the stupid HR DEI person would have called me in time to offer me the job I applied for , I never would have come back to this cesspool that is NC. I am educated, and every place I worked except one my bosses had less than a high school diploma, or just that. I am 65. And a caregiver for my spouse of 30 years. My life did not turn out the way I planned. Bitter and angry. Hate most everyone now. Just want to be left the hell alone. FTW.
Not jealous, just angry. Why them and not me, as I rant at God. No answer.
I am too old. Sixty five and want to die. Last 18 years caring for my dying spouse. I never wanted kids, because you have to take care of every need. Surprise!! I feel like a Mom. I hate my life. And I rage at God for not letting me succeed or be good at anything. FTW and Obama. He caused this. I am so depressed. I never get to do anything for me. No fun, vacations, seeing friends. A haircut, lunch with a friend. Take the car for service and a wash. I no longer clean except the kitchen, and barely pick up the rest of the house. Why bother. I don't have anyone over, because if they have a cold or something, it can kill my spouse. I am bitter and angry. I ask God why? No answer. Of course not. No more kind, sweet, giving, non judgmental person. Why??? I hate everyone now.
Hi, Really like the Article ! keep up the good work !
I’m taking the Tony Robbins challenge to challenge one thing – I do not like Tony Robbins. And this is not as a result of his recent beyond insensitive comments about the #metoo movement. I have always thought him as a shyster. I’m not saying he’s all bad, no one is. I just am not impressed with that kind of self-help “BS.”
We shall see what I think.
Great article
With regrades to change. I’ve always like the line form the movie ‘Where the Heart Is’ – “our lives can change with every breath we take”
The reality is that at some level we do change with every breath we take, we just don’t tend to notice. And that’s the thing with change, ‘Change’ happens very slowly then all at once. Meaning that change may be experienced in an instant however if you step back and view it from a distance its likely you didn’t notice all the small changes that occurred to bring about the ‘instant’ change.
The master of change is the master of the small stuff… the trick is a the same time not to “sweat the small stuff” 🙂
I literally have been feeling down the last few days and quite hopeless, lost, and without purpose or meaning. This article was something that I needed to read and I am glad that I was able to find it today. The timing worked out quite perfectly. Thank you for such a great article!!
All I can say is TY. TY. TY.
Thank you, Carrie! Your write-ups have helped me through some of the toughest times I’ve faced. This one happened to show up right when I needed to remind myself to focus on the positives rather than the negatives. Thanks a million! Lots of love to you! <3
I see what you’re saying. The concept isn’t something Tony thought of he just presents it well and I’ll take whatever tools I can! I agree he can come across a bit ostentatious.
You’re welcome Matt!
I totally agree Pieter. Sometimes the fact that we don’t need to change is change itself. Maybe we are enough right now, just as we are for this moment.
Thank you!!
I’m so glad Diana! It takes time, patience and practice and lord knows I have had to do both! Thank you for sharing!
Glad to be of service Rochelle!!
I totally understand having to drag yourself out of the house to go somewhere! I get so comfortable at home because I’m such a homebody, but sometimes I really need to leave and go somewhere else so that I can reset and find new energy.
Carrie – thankyou for writing such a great piece. It was eerily spot on to how I’m feeling at the moment, most of the time I’m fine, but moments like tonight I feeling crushing insignificant and a waste. It’s no exaggeration to say reading this tonight might have saved my life. I’ve had a cry, I’ve printed the article, I’m going to bed and in the morning I’m going to reread it and try to implement small changes you suggest – it can’t make it worse can it? Thankyou.
I’m 26 and I’ve told myself many times i need change but didn’t know where to start. Im an introvert and I’m always in my head. I’ve been seeking insight on what I should do to change myself but I always went back to my same routine. I’ve been aware of my negativity towards myself and how it affects others around me. I’ve seen it twice and I don’t want a third mistake. The feeling of being alone, depressed, tired, and just trying to exist is exhausting within itself and i am still at a standstill. I started coding python and html, but now…i just never bother with it anymore. I stopped. It’s sad and yet like you said “rinse and repeat”. That’s what my life has come to. Its not fun anymore. But discovering this. Your story. Your article. I felt something. I related and I’m kind of happy and sad at the same time. Ready to cry cause I’ve been looking for someone like me. The few friends i have has given me speeches similar but they don’t understand what it means to be this. This “me”. I know what I have been doing but I don’t know how to get out of it.
You have shed light and I know what I must do now. I thank you for this and I appreciate it so much. Im going to bookmark this page and reread it as a reason to why I should go forward and get out my bed. No longer shall I be this negative person always fighting her thoughts. So thank you so much for this.
Matty, I’m 25 and I feel the same way. Be my friend? 👋🏼
hello.. your article is so wonderfull.. can I share this articel in my ASMR reading youtube?. I will put your link on the caption of the video.. thank you so much 😊
Though you don’t really answer the big question. What do you do when you’ve been doing all these things for a good three decades and it all still seems so meaningless? It’s like dressing the store window of a business that long went bankrupt. It’s not that I think I don’t have enough in my life, I don’t but regardless, it’s more that even if I enjoy more moments that still it’s worth it. It’s not worth how hard a person has to reconfigure their brain just to not want to shoot themselves. It’s like if the only way you can believe your faith is if you never question it and don’t look to closely then it’s probably wrong for you. If I have a life of mental conditioning to do just to hate it less why do it at all? What the hell is the point of all this struggle?
Honestly, I’m 23 from an African home (which means not much attention is paid to mental health) and I must say that this really hit me. I could relate so much especially today when I feel like absolute shit. But your article is really helpful and I’ve realized that we really have the power to choose what we think on and the perspective we take on each issue. It’s hard to accept that I’ve been letting myself think this way but it’s true. I’ve become so introverted, I really can’t be bothered most days to go out, find it hard to put any real effort into anyone of the opposite sex out of fear of past heartbreaks, I constantly battle with fear of being broke and dying alone, even my passion (DJ-ing) I find it hard to get up and practice or do anything because everything feels so pointless and unsatisfying. It just always seems like a lot of unhappiness which doesn’t have an end date in view. But this article was very apt because I’ve realized life is what you chose to see it as, and if you keep looking at worst case scenarios in your head, then that’s all you’ll see but if you choose to be positive and hopeful then that’s what you’ll get. And as much as there is always the possibility of being disappointed when you’re hopeful, you lose nothing by being positive and in fact, you have the power to view that “disappointment” as a blessing in disguise. For a while I really thought smoking weed made me introverted, negative and to myself but what I’ve realized is that all it does is keep me in my head and thoughts but it doesn’t choose what I think on. So if I think on positive things then it’ll probably just make me happier since I’m thinking on positive things. But if my head is filled with negativity, then that is all it’s going to amplify, the negativity. So, I guess what I’m saying is we all just need to get up everyday and decide that regardless of what life throws, I choose to see it through a positive lens. And not to be that guy but having a relationship with GOD goes a long way because you know that you have someone bigger and better than you, who has your best interest at heart watching over you and since he is in control, then regardless of how the situation may seem, you know he has you covered and it’s ultimately all for your good.
I have been doing all these things but the lockdown has overwhelmed me on multiple fronts. I think it has destroyed my future.
I’m 12 years old, yea you may think oh she’s probably depressed, she’s just being dramatic or oh it’s just puberty. But if you know how much hurts that a WHOLE group of friends just leave you bc of ONE person… ya know how much that hurt? Even tho… idk how you guys do it, you may ask wyd? Well, I’m not American..? I’m Colombian and I guess I feel that Americans are very kind, and maybe that’s bc I want to lived there, anyways maybe a teenage girl can’t do anything, maybe it’s just puberty, maybe it’s just my age. But… I know one thing, that thing is…. that no matter what, I’m gonna try help people on this world to harm themselves, to commit suicide, I don’t want them to suffer like me… I’m gonna take courage and start standing up for myself and everyone, I don’t want ANYONE get hurt! I just don’t….. Sorry for wasting your time…. My apologies
Same here dude
I don’t know why I feel that there is no need for me to reply this . But you haven’t waste anyone time. There are some incidents in life that just fill us with rage and go all emotional may be there are feelings that we have hidden deep but these incidents are like triggers for all this.So just hang in there
only 20, and i just feel way to overwhelmed about the future, dont see my life going anywhere currently
I would LOVE to have enough money and free time to do anything described here (presumably by meditate you mean for more than five minutes once a week), but we aren’t all that lucky.
Lockdown has nearly ruined me.
I already had a big failure before, and when I just started recovering from it, all that shit happened. I lost my job, wasted my money, worsened my health and even my relationship with friends became much more distant.
Hon, I am 25 and have had lots of friend groups leave me over 1 person. It is hard the first time and the second. There is one thing to learn here and that is most things are temporary- even the bad times. You need to find happiness in the little things to get you moving forward to the next little thing to make you happy. It could be a new song your favorite musician is going to release. It could be a movie you want to see. Maybe you have a pet you love and you want to spend the rest of its life beside each other. Heck, maybe it is being able to hear the birds sing outside in the morning when you wake up or watching the clouds in the sky because all of it is so pretty! Do you have any teachers you trust? Or maybe a relative? Someone to talk to about how you are feeling? You deserve someone to listen to you! If no one is around yet, writing down how you are feeling helps. There will be people who care about you, dear. I know this is a hard time period you are going through. Just keep finding your little bit of happiness in the meantime!
I also wanted to say you are amazingly sweet and thoughtful to want to help others out in not hurting. You can get there! Focus on your healing first, though, because it will only help you in helping other people. I wish you luck, success, and happiness!
Damn dude this really resonated with me. Thank you
Thank you for
Create something? I wish. I get up at 6am, go to work, get home between 5 and 6 except Saturdays when it’s between 7 and 8. Have dinner, spend time with my kids while my wife works on her hobbies, and then stay up until after 11pm working on chores and DIY projects only for my wife the next day to look at hours of work and say “you only worked on this for five minutes, I can tell” – never mind the hours of chores I do that are totally invisible to her – and yell at me for either never doing enough or never doing anything right, depending on the day. My one day off I spend the whole time working on chores. I used to have creative hobbies. That’s not an option for me any more. Maybe by the time I’m 60, by which point I’ll have forgotten everything I know about how to play the guitar. I used to be good, really good, and I was in tears last time I tried to play because I’m already so useless and things that used to be so easy.
Nice one. This is really helpful for me. Thanks a lot Carrie.
This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear tonight. I have been in the cycle for too long. Thank you!!
Thank you✨✨
Beautifully written and felt so relatable
my question would be ‘why keep trying?’
I am not going to meditate. Absolutely not.
I’m 61, single, no family, few friends. Don’t misunderstand, I love chatting to people and I suspect people would say I’m very outgoing, but I also like my own space, and most people bore me quite quickly. So, with no dependents, and no religious baggage to weigh me down, having had a pretty good life, what would be so bad about ending it? I cease to exist. No more joy, but really, how much of our life, really, is joyful? It’s mostly mundane, and often worse than that. No one will be impacted financially, and friends may wonder why I chose to end my life and might not understand, but they won’t be devastated. I won’t be a burden on the country, with increasing healthcare costs and pension.
I’d rather liquidate my assets, live a little, and do something wild like rent a penthouse in Las Vegas, and overdose after a night of booze, drugs and sex. It seems better to me than dying a slow death in a care home as dementia robs me of my very identity (as happened with both my parents). I understand, many people have partners, children, a social network, but I’m not like most. I want to prepare for the moment I choose to end my life, not to be forced to continue an existence because society demands it.
Just found this article and its brilliant says it all Iv been feeling totally stuck in a routine that drives me bonkers & thinking there has got to be more to life than this.
I have always been too scared to change things and it really isn’t that difficult judging by this post .
Im grateful for everything I have in my life I know how lucky I am but suffering from negative thoughts fear and anxiety puts a stop to me making decision & I ruminate, my thoughts trying to make changes to my life, why can’t I just take a chance and try what have I got to lose.
I was always told by my parents when growing up not to take chances and it better to stick with what you know.Play it safe,They were scared of change I guess and passed it on to me and why I have these fears yet all the time IM wanting to just follow & listen to my initiative…
Im scared of getting older, what will happen to me and I suffer from a spinal condition that gives me chronic pain day in day out.
Iv also had cancer and constantly worry about it returning which at times get me down those negative thoughts again take over.
On bad days I struggle to get in to the right mind set the joy of life feels gone of when I was young.
Still life goes on and you have to keep going what else can you do try to find pleasure in the simplest of things be mindful & don’t let the thoughtlessness & unkindness of others spoil your day.
Baby steps be kind to yourself I will keep trying but how do you over come the fear of change or is that another subject entirely.
Its true, life is what you make it and you can only do your best keep trying and maybe I will over come my fears.
Privileged people who have choices and MONEY to change their situation giving advice to people who have none of that is unhelpful. Down here on the ground where everything has been forcefully taken away through no fault of your own, and there is no way out, and no one listens but everyone runs off at the mouth with useless advice and shunts you aside because they are self-absorbed and small-minded makes it obvious why the suicide rate is so high: Self-absorbed people give advice (on the internet, crisis lines, etc.) to soothe themselves, and they truly have no concern for the people they reject and harm with their short shrift snd self-satisfaction. The world is so horrible because people are so horrible!
This is exactly how I feel. Rinse and repeat. I mourn the cool life I used to have. I used to model, hang with celebrities, travel to fun beautiful places, front row seats to sporting events, high class parties. Then I made the mistake of moving back to the midwest where I grew up. It was only supposed to be temporary and I was regrouping after a break up and saving money to move to LA. Would up getting married and moving to a rural area. I now work in a government office that hasn’t been updated since the 60s and wear mundane office clothes. I am bored beyond all belief. I am a city girl who loves the energy of a downtown area, along with the fashion and events. But my husband hates the city. We have a basic middle class life and I hate it. I always thought I would be rich. I am blindingly jealous of rich women. I have a friend who married rich and they have a condo in Miami and just bought a 10milion dollar house in CT. I am so jealous that I don’t think I cant be friends with her anymore. Everything has come to her so easliy and she has an amazing life. While I sit here trying so hard, yet get nowhere. I am also pretty introverted. I dislike people and have no desire to help anyone. I have very few interests or hobbies and the ones I do have, we do not have the money to nurture. Life sucks. I look back on my life and try to pinpoint all of the areas I went wrong. I am a 42 woman. I can’t imagine living and feeling this way for another 25+ years. I expected more for my life. Far more. My life is a life wasted.
I feel alone. I feel why am I a living a life?when everything is going to perish in the end, what’s the point of staying. Sometimes I feel unwanted. I no longer know what I want now.