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When Someone Cheats or Mistreats You, It’s About Them, Not You

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“Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser. So thank the past for a better future.” ~Unknown

I used to think when someone cheated on me that I was flawed.

You see, I had a core belief that there was something wrong with me. I never felt enough. I’m not even sure I can fully articulate this feeling, but whatever it was, I just didn’t feel enough. Slim enough, pretty enough, clever enough, worthy enough, or just, well, anything enough.

I’ve now come to see that when someone mistreats you it has almost nothing to do with you. Other people’s behavior is about them.

I’ve come to realize that my ex flirting and engaging in a sexual manner with other women had to do with his insecurities, and nothing to do with me not being good enough.

It was his issue, not mine. It was his ego that needed a boost, and he used other women for that because he wasn’t emotionally or intellectually developed enough to boost himself.

I believe we must be responsible enough to look after our own feelings and not make someone else responsible for how we feel. He was still trapped in a cycle of thinking he needed someone to make him feel happy. He needed to use other women to boost his self-esteem.

Previously, I’ve felt that my world was falling apart when a man cheated on me or left me. I felt my value decreased the moment he didn’t want me.

I can now see my value just is, it’s innate. We are all born worthy—worthy of love and good enough. Even if no one in the world can see it, it’s the truth. I am enough exactly as I am. I don’t need to be anything other than who I am. I have nothing to prove to anyone anymore.

I’ve realized that I am more than lovable. When someone doesn’t or can’t treat me the way I want and deserve to be treated, it’s not a reflection of me.

I’ve learned that it’s my job to put my best interests at heart and love myself enough to walk away from anything that doesn’t serve me or build me up.

This time I discovered an inner strength much sooner than I previously have. I walked away when I discovered the lies; previously I would stayed trying to fix myself when I wasn’t the one that was at fault.

I now recognize that I am a complete person all alone. I don’t need someone else to complete me.

I function and enjoy my life on my own. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy being in relationships—I really do, and I think it’s so magical when two happy, complete people come together and share their lives.

However, I’ve discovered that if the other person is looking for someone to complete them or to make their life more exciting than it is, it’s more than likely never going to last.

Relationships are places of spiritual growth, and they can enhance an already happy life. Their purpose is not to make a miserable one better; that’s too much power to hand to any one person.

Love is a place of pure positive energy. If someone has to put you down in order to try to keep you then that’s not love; it’s control. Control is based on a scarcity model of love, and that’s not positive energy; it’s fear-based.

I have never understood it when people said that love isn’t enough. Love is always enough, but love is about loving actions, loving behavior. You can’t claim to love someone yet lie to them; the two things don’t match.

So here are the five things I’ve learned from my past failed relationship.

1. When someone cheats or mistreats you, it almost never has anything to do with you.

You are good enough even when their actions may have you believe otherwise.

2. Someone else’s bad behavior doesn’t reflect badly on you.

Someone cheating on you doesn’t make you look silly. It highlights that they have issues they need to work on.

3. Your value and worth aren’t tied to anyone or anything.

Not your weight, relationship, or job.

4. Love is never bad; love is amazing, pure and simple. Cheating hurts, lies hurt, being heartbroken hurts, but these things are not love.

These cause pain, but cheating, lying, and hurting others are done out of fear, not out of love. Love is, in fact, the only thing that ever makes the pain better again, and you can start to love yourself today. Self-love depends on you alone.

Set the standard for how people should love you by loving yourself wholeheartedly.

5. Just because one relationship doesn’t work, that doesn’t mean the next one won’t.

Don’t give up on love; give up on the people who made you think love wasn’t good.

And always remember what Steve Marabolie wrote, “The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.”

About Kirsten Davies

Kirsten Davies is a nutritionist and founder of The Food Remedy. She combines her nutritional knowledge with neuro-linguistic programming, helping clients understand the link between the food they eat and the thoughts they think. Real, whole food is her mantra, which, teamed with her burning passion to help others see their own light, makes her compellingly magnetic.

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Sri Purna Widari
Sri Purna Widari

I need this and you are right about the insecurity.

I can imagine how shocked you were when you found out that you were cheated by your ex and that must have been hurtful.

In my past experience being the other woman, cheating was an act done out of frustration as a result of unfulfilled needs of the married man I had relationship with and often happened when accompanied by lack of communication skill.

Teleri
Teleri

That’s an excellent realization that a lot of people need reiterated. I do have to admit that when MY ex cheated on me, I never blamed myself (ok, I did say to myself – congratulations, you know how to pick them – but reasons – ie I had some premonitions about the idiot that I ignored).

LaTrice Dowe
LaTrice Dowe

Being mistreated and cheated on is the worst feeling in the world, especially when you haven’t done anything wrong. In today’s society, some people don’t understand the true meaning of maintaining committed and monogamous relationships.

I stopped talking to my ex-boyfriend, since his behavior was too controlling. I had to contact him several times a day, to make sure I wasn’t cheating on him. His ex-wife pulled that stunt while he was fighting in a war overseas. I couldn’t understand where he was coming from, but at the same time, him comparing me to her was beyond hurtful.

The last straw occurred was when I didn’t contact him for a couple of days. I was dealing with the worst migraine in my entire life. When my ex-boyfriend called, he not only cussed me out, but demanded to know why I never called. His verbal assaults made my migraine worse. I realized that he’s NEVER going to change, and called the relationship quits.

I recently bumped into my ex-boyfriend when I was on my way to work. He wanted to know why I stopped contacting him, and I told the truth. His answer took me by surprise. He explained that I could have told him! He did ask for my forgiveness, and wanted us to get back together someday. Honestly, I can’t be with him, since I know his behavior isn’t going to change. I know I deserve more.

Thank you, Kirsten for writing the most powerful article on self-respect.

P
P

Hi Kristen, thank you for sharing. I really need this encouragement and reminder for self-respect. A lot of things happened to me last year .. well, until now in fact. I’m still trying to heal and picking up myself. At sometimes, I think I am going crazy.

I met this guy last year around this time. He joined to the company where I have been working for 6 years. Then we became colleague. When I first get to know him, he was engaged (kind of verbally engagement as he claimed bcos he was not wearing any ring). His gf was in Canada that time and they were having a long distance relationship. She came from a very rich family. He is just a normal guy. He mentioned to me a few times that they were having some problem…that’s all I know and I didn’t asked much as that is none of my business. We just hang out (go for lunch together) like any normal colleague would do. Of course not just us, with a bunch of other colleagues. I treated him like any other normal colleague. He is very good at talking and makes me laugh all the times. He asked me out a few times (to hang out as colleague), I rejected a few times. But then I think, we are at same age, we can be just friends and colleague.. why am i thinking to much? And he is new to the town and alone so then I agreed to have dinner together. We had a great talk and we enjoyed. As day goes, we became more and more close. He started showing behavior that he likes me and he started showing too much attention and caring towards me. When he officially text me that he likes me, I remember I scolded him. I told him that this is wrong. Because he has gf. Then he explained that he just like me as a friend..nothing more. So I forgave him and we just continue being friends. He told me about his past. He had a lot of gf before and basically he was a play boy when he was young. Now as he is 28, he wants to focus on his career and be a gd man, blah blah blah. So i told him, everyone has a past. I told him that I don’t agree looking down on a person because of his/her past. If the person is willing to correct then how the person lives now and future is more important. He still constantly showing too much attention and caring towards me. Before I knew it, I found myself having feelings for him. To sum up, I finally decided to put things on the table. I told him that I do not want to be a third party or anywhere near to that. So I told him that he has to stop being good to me if he is still engaged to another girl. I will only consider a single guy. Then things happened so fast and he told me that he ended with his gf. He deactivated his fb. My other colleagues helped me verified by checking out the girl’s fb and instagram.. the photos of them are all gone. I remember, he told me that he went through all the drama and scolding from the girl’s mom, his mom and their common friends. With all these, I believed him that he really wanted to be with me.

Then, we started dating. One thing about me is for the past 28 years of my life, I was busy with studies, working, taking care of my parents so I didn’t give myself a chance for relationship. So this can consider as my first serious love and relationship. We were basically together almost every day, every time. He treated me very well and I was over the cloud. We did have some arguments but nothing serious. We always talked things out and reached to an agreement everytime. Oh ya, we are from two different countries so we have different culture. But we agree to work things out together. We had a good times but suddenly one day, he said he feel suffocated and blah blah blah. I was shocked, so angry and I told him that I don’t believe in taking a break so let’s break up. we both cried and we decided to stay as friend.

After that I was so miserable, I couldn’t eat and cry alot. I thought he was just confused and I thought if i gave him and myself sometimes we can make thing work out again. During this difficult time, he again took care of me alot. Even if i message him in the middle of the night saying I am not ok.. he would call me immediately and console me. He always checking on me whether do I eat properly and stuff.. even when he was on a trip with his family, he called and check me whether am i ok? Or crying again. He still told me that he still loves me, I am a very nice, perfect girl … he wants the best for me..all the shit. With all these emotional strings, I became more and more crazy. Some days I am ok but some days I am like a mad woman with all the emotional stress, losing love, losing the person that I love. As times passed, I sensed the change in him, he started to care less about me so I thought I am driving him crazy emotionally and blame myself. Then i started to control myself. While we were dating, I did asked him whether am I a substitute of his ex-gf? He would denied like hell and he would always say how perfect am i and how much he loves me and treasure me. And even after we break up, he told me that he was not getting back with his ex…because we both knew that his ex-gf is back to their hometown after we broke up. Somehow, girl’s six sense.. I feel something is strange. One day, I found out from the girl instagram that she came to our town and she was in a zoo. That day, when i message him, he told me that a friend of him came to visit him. I knew that since we have broke up, he is free to go out and make friends with who he wants. I really don’t want to be a freak ex-gf so I do my best to keep it low key. I really did my best to control my emotional, I reflected on myself alot.. in what could I have done wrong so that we ended up in this situation. I basically blame myself for being too simple minded, not having experiences with guys, dating, being too emotional when the break up happened..etc.

The worst part is, all these times, I have to see him at office. It is really a torture for me. How can I forget him and move on while I have to face him. There was a time, I couldn’t go to work because I missed him so much. I missed us so much. Well, but again I tried my best to move on. As saying “truth can never hide”, before Christmas, with the help of my friend I got to know the whole truth. (By the way, soon after we broke up, a few weeks later after the girl came back to their hometown, her instagram suddenly became private. That was one of the reason for my suspect.) The girl posted a picture of them together stating celebrating anniversary. That’s where my whole world crushed. I trusted him. Not to mentioned before we date, even after we have broke up.. I still believe him. All these time, I blame myself for the situation where we are. Because deep down, I did blame myself for appearing in his life and he had to break up with his gf and chose me. I loves him with everything I have. And the truth is he just used and played me while his rich gf is away, he cheated me all these times, lying to my face. He was someone I trusted him and was so close to me and now suddenly I feel like.. I know nothing. Is like, he is no longer the person I knew anymore. Which of his words are real and what are the lies… I don’t know anymore. I felt so useless, mistreated. As if I have no value to him and he played me when he wants and throw me away when he don’t need it anymore. I live like a zombie. I locked myself up in a room. I lost weight until all I have is bones and skin… to the extend I wanted to end everything. I almost wanted to give up everything.

My friends are very angry and asked me to let the girl know what kind of ass## he is. May be the girl knows or don’t know.. I don’t know. High chance, she might not know anything because I never go public while we were dating. Because of our work, we keep it low key on social media. It was kind of his suggestion… if I think back. And I don’t care much of these so I agreed to him that time. (I kind of regret though).The thing is I am a human, of course I feel jealous, anger and everything that normal human would feel. But I do not want to involve in any drama anymore. And one thing that I believe and practice is, “I cannot and will never destroy something that I couldn’t have”. That’s the main thing stopping me to show my face, let the whole truth came out and show my existence.

To date, even though I am doing my best to move on, find my happiness and confidence back but I don’t denied the fact that this nightmare still hunt me. But I am trying to find my peace and telling myself every sec that it’s him. Not because I am any less.

Sorry about the very long story. This is the first time I am actually sharing to strangers. I hope that if someone from somewhere feeling mistreated… remember, you are not alone. Be strong. “Not because your are any less! We are prefect in a way we are”

KC
KC
Reply to  LaTrice Dowe

Thank you LaTrice for your post.

KC
KC

Nothing hurts more than to be there for someone who you considered a friend and they lie and use you. Then try to put the blame back on you after their lies have caught up with them. I try to remind myself everyday that one day karma will come back on this individual and give them a serious reality check.

valerie martins
valerie martins

nothing hurts more than giving your all and still get dumped and cheated on, this happens alot and if you figure out you want a pay back there are more way than you can imagine without even lifting a finger, you could ake the life of your ex miserable by hacking into his accounts and transferring funds or even freeze the account, all this could be done throught the help of a one true reliable hacker by the person of cheeterhacker AT outlook DOT com..a word is enough for the wise this heart breakers must feel the pain they cost us..

williams
williams

No one deserves to be cheated on, especially when your full loyalty lies with the betrayer of your trust. Initially, I thought I was just feeling insecure when my girlfriend would just be on his phone at odd hours, until I decided to take a chance to know, knowing is better than self doubts and it was exactly what happened when I employed the services of (computer(dot)surgeon()outlook(dot)Com) he gave me a discreet and unlimited access to know who she’s texting on her phone and social media . Now I know when she’s telling the truth and how to curtail her, I think it is not a drastic step if it’ll make you feel better. My life got better, I stopped using my precious time to bother about her indiscretions and channeled my energy positively. Their services includes: Social media Hack, Phone Hack all form of hacks….. Tell him i referred you

Veronica Herrington
Veronica Herrington
Reply to  KC

Cheaters will lie to their closest friends first. They want their best friend to think that they are a person of their word, would never cheat on their spouse and that they are truly a good person.
Unfortunately your friend has a huge EGO and needs to cheat to feel like an adult. This friend deserves what KARMA brings into their life. Cheating makes you a child, not an adult

AF_Whigs
AF_Whigs

Thank you for this, Kirsten. This post gets to the heart (no pun intended) of the most difficult part of being cheated on: what it does to our self esteem. My wife cheated on me years ago with a friend of ours and we’re dealing with some issues again. However she won’t even acknowledge that she cheated because she was unhappy in our marriage and wanted to leave.

Anyway – feeling unloved, unlovable, useless, unworthy, unwanted, alone, isolated, hopeless…and on and on: these feelings have been dredged up again and I feel like half the battle is just getting her to understand that I have a right to these feelings – I was hurt by her choices, and the negative effects of those choices are still echoing with us today.

Feeling good about myself and positive about the future have been extremely difficult for me lately, but your wise words have helped me tremendously. Thank you!

Jen Crowley
Jen Crowley
Reply to  P

P, I read the whole thing, and as it’s been two years I’m sure you’ve moved on by now and hopefully you are in a much, much better place.

I have always believed in learning from past experiences (both good and bad) and applying this knowledge so that we may make good choices in the future. Hopefully from your bad experience you have learned the red flags to look out for in spotting a cheater. This guy cheated on his fiancee long before he told you that he broke things off with her. He did not maintain appropriate boundaries in his friendship with you (asking you out, disclosing his personal relationship problems, being overly attentive to you, expressing romantic interest in you, etc) he was emotionally cheating on his fiancee with you. If there’s one thing to learn from this, past behavior often times predicts future behavior. The way that he treats his past relationships will very likely be the same way he will treat his future relationships. If he cheated on her, he will likely cheat on you too. Plus, breaking off an engagement and immediately jumping into a new relationship is very telling of a person’s immaturity and impulsive decision-making.

Losing this guy was a blessing in disguise for you. Hopefully the girl he ran back to wised up to what kind of person he really is and did not actually marry him. If she did, it was a grave mistake which I’m sure she already regrets.

Dickson
Dickson
Reply to  Lisa

My name is Dickson I am looking for a serious relationship

Karamiru
Karamiru

Thank you. I was not feeling well these days then I read this

AngryCountryBoy
AngryCountryBoy

Now go read this and allow your mind to change it to the words of a man talking about a woman….same feelings apply

Colosso
Colosso

"Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser. So thank the past for a better future.”
Not in my case. Pain made me more tense … there is a difference between tension and strength. Tears made me more shy. Heartbreak made me more timid. I'm 63, and the past hasn't helped me, only fear the future more. What the F is life?

Joni
Joni
Reply to  Angela

His BEHAVIOR shows exactly how he feels about you.
You are not in love with him, you are in love with the guy he pretended to be just to win you over. Why did he want to win you over? Because he needs something from you (validation, security, your positive energy etc)
Sweetheart I am so sorry to have to tell you this, I know it’s hard to hear and the feelings are raw. I’ve been exactly where you are. I left my cheating boyfriend after 15 years of giving chance after chance after chance. A leopard does not change it spots. I kept thinking that he was just in a rut, in the beginning of our relationship was the real him, but I had it backwards. The real is the wire a cheater. The false him was what he pretended to .
God into our life to help us grow. That is the only thing that you can do with this relationship is grow yourself, respect yourself, set boundaries for yourself, and don’t let anyone cross them. Only can God give will treat you the way you want. If you allow a man to cheat on you and lie to the only kind of manual attract. Set your standards higher and you will get a quality man. God bless you, good luck.

Jessica
Jessica

My have has cheat on me the last year and somehow always turns it on me to where I'm apologizing and makes me the bad person and than says I'm cheating and a afuwl person

Jessica
Jessica

My wife has cheated on me the past year and continues to and somehow turns it on me where I'm apologizing and saying sorry and than says I'm cheating I don't know why I can't leave I tired but I been with her for 12 years idk

Val
Val

I am currently in a relationship where she is cheating but doesn’t admit to it.. it does help knowing it’s not me as to her reason to cheat.

Stephanie Solorio
Stephanie Solorio

I love this 😍 I’m going to read this everyday for as long as it takes for me to believe.

Chloe David

Dealing with being cheated on and the subsequent divorce. This was nice to read, especially since I can’t seem to do anything other than stay alive and read about being cheated on.

Helen
Helen

Today is the worse day, it’s sunny everyone seems so happy, my ex is calling me saying he loves me, he’s cheated lots of times leaves for weeks on end goes on holidays without me, he’s 50 I’m 41 it’s killing me x

oscar hernandez sandoval
oscar hernandez sandoval
Reply to  Helen

You should take a little trip to a mouseum, would help in some ways.

I hope helps you level your soul, your ex doesn’t deserved you.

Becca Talbot

Interesting view and summary. I myself have never cheated, though have been cheated on many times. I can’t bring myself to do it – for the simple reason that I don’t want it done to me. If someone were to cheat on me, that would be the end of our relationship.

Barbie
Barbie

Just found out the love of my life cheated & I’m in agony! can’t stop crying shaking & it feels like my heart is skipping beats. I found this article n i feel somewhat better now.. i keep asking myself why, what’s wrong with me? I gave him everything a man could want in a woman & he acted like he was happy & we even went to look at wedding rings. This is the worst pain i ever felt in my life & I don’t know how I’m gonna get over this, but i can’t stay with him. Thank god for google & great articles like this one. God bless.

Hello World
Hello World

This was a nice read. My ex boyfriend was mean to me and serial cheated on me with many many people. I know it wasn’t about me yet I also know he didn’t love me. He’d lie and become abusive a lot. Sometimes I feel foolish for still being inlove with him. Although I think that may be my strength and not my weakness. I’m in the process of letting go. I have his number blocked. I’ll reread this article as it will help me keep it blocked I think…

Rusty Shakleferg
Rusty Shakleferg

Wow lokey im going through a tough and this helps alot with whats relevant

Rusty Shakleferg
Rusty Shakleferg

Nice

Rusty Shakleferg
Rusty Shakleferg
Reply to  Helen

Continue on with your shining day lokey its meditation

Rusty Shakleferg
Rusty Shakleferg

Its what i do lo key dont lose hope in realms

Lisa
Lisa

My ex cheated on me repeatedly during our marriage and would never want to discuss it. I didn’t know how to deal with it, how to process it. So I buried it in me and carried on for the sake of the kids. He finally cheated and made the other woman pregnant just after I gave birth to our son. I kicked him out and filed for divorce. This all happened 9 years ago… I will be 40 this month but seem to keep attracting men who “are not ready for the responsibility of a relationship”. Is it the “type” I attract? Am I too clingy? Do I come accross too direct? I ask myself these questions but in the back of my mind I remember the pain, the anger, the frustration of the times I was cheated on and wonder if this isn’t a factor too? I just don’t trust men not to cheat, especially when they’ve had a few drinks and yes, I still blame myself sometimes…maybe if I’d been thinner, more fashionable…drank with him…more fun… and still these insecurities remain. I am attractive, plump around the middle but not fat, I know I’m not the blonde haired, blue eyed porno star but I’m okay in looks and have all the working parts! Yet…I am not the partying, social fun kind of girl. I guess Im more reserved and sensebile… and honest, I always wonder if it’s my honesty and openess that puts men off. I don’t play the usual games, I can’t it would be fake. So I am in despair most days. Perhaps I am too romantic and idealistic when it comes to love. I don’t know but it eludes me and Im soul weary of looking for it anymore…

Sherman Teo
Sherman Teo

My ex fiancée broke up with me because she’s been contacting an old friend overseas and suddenly she felt so in loved with him! We are suppose to get married within 6 months time and all she did is to cheat on me behind my back by flying over to see him.

The worse is she didn’t tell me the truth that she is cheating behind my back, instead of giving me excuses that I work too much and not giving her attention.

Ted McArthur
Ted McArthur

Thank you so much for the heartfelt insight and truth you’ve shared. I think you saved me, and my marriage.

alex
alex

It’s really funny how one can deeply relate to these stories. It takes me back to when my ex-husband started abusing me emotionally, then it got physical sometimes. I never knew it was because he was cheating on me. At the time it started feeling like he hated me for doing something I wasnt aware of then I started feeling worthless and became a shadow of myself till a friend suggested we watch my ex-husband’s every move. She introduced me to this Dmitri guy her lawyer used when she was getting her divorce done and Mr was still lying. This guy will send me pictures of my husband from restaurant, hotels, roads and dates with this strange woman. I recieved full text messages and social media messages. He sent me copies of messages from dating sites and social medias. It turned out he got fed up I guess. You can try him out too if you may ever need one. One can never be so sure of what these men are up to these days. Here, dkowalskicyber @gmail. com

Home Depot
Home Depot

This is the best thing I have read in a long time. I am dealing with my husbands infidelity at the moment. Just learnt he has been cheating on me since we were engaged, 13 years ago. He lost interest in me as soon as we got married and I have lost a lot of self confidence and self esteem. This is really motivating and inspirational. I intend to read this daily to make sure I remmeber that I am worthy afterall

Home Depot
Home Depot
Reply to  Barbie

How are you today? I am going through the same ordeal. Found out about my husbands infidelity last week and am feeling like u did. I’m also lost and confused. I don’t know what to do.

Shveta Batheja
Shveta Batheja

I loved your article. I am going through heartbreak and i really felt unworthy when he left me. But i still miss him badly. I still love the memories with him. How should i control myself?

Chritian Nikko Bregania
Chritian Nikko Bregania
Reply to  williams

how did you get a ful access on her phone? can you teach me on that? please?

Aristotle James
Aristotle James

I got cheated on multiple times. And I kept asking myself why? What did I do wrong? Am I not handsome enough?
But coming to find out; she didn’t believe in love. Not saying she didn’t love me in her own way.
Thank you

Depends
Depends
Reply to  Lisa

Don’t look for it just be aware that it exists. Work on the new you! Because you are and always were enough to be loved and cherished.

Lisa
Lisa

Thank you…just wonder if I’ll ever find someone who does love and cherish me…or even someone who wants my love and cherishment!… *sigh* 😟Old soul born in the wrong era. 🐺

Jenny A.
Jenny A.

I was recently in a relationship where I was cheated on. It has just been about a month since the last time I had contact with him cause about two months ago when we broke up and when I blocked him, I still couldn’t control myself to unblock him and send him messages resenting him. But before the very last time I was finally able to ignore his messages, take days realizing that I’m feeling lazy to check his messages. And finally I blocked him cause I felt annoyed of him and his messages. And just about a few weeks ago I struggled with myself having to cry myself to sleep almost every day. There were times then that I questioned myself and my worth. The other times I was saying I hope he finally finds a woman one day who he will treat better than ever and will finally not lie or cheat on and will love him too and take care of him and not lie or cheat on him nor take advantage of him, cause I was already that person for him but I guess I wasn’t enough for him to be treated in the way I know I deserve: with pure love, respect and honesty. But now I realized I still think about him, however, it isn’t like before anymore where I felt a tug in my chest and makes me cry. Now there’s just no more feelings, no more bitterness, no more hate, no more resentment, no more regret, but most of all, no more care and no more love for him. I have to say that what happened may have broke me to become somebody I no longer could recognize as myself, and had my good pride and confidence with myself burn to nothingness, but I gained something that I would always be thankful for myself, for love, and for God. My worth. I thought I always knew my worth and that’s what kept me my confidence but I had to always admit that from time to time I had to face my insecurities. And it always brings me down. But now, I know better. I gained more wisdom about love and life than ever. It finally sinked in that I have always been complete yet not content. So now I’m spending every moment to reach my goals and dreams to build myself up and better while I’m waiting for that one person who is meant for me. And this article is really lovely and helped me boost myself and be motivated more than ever. Thanks for sharing this! 😍❤

Yaneth Jarquin
Yaneth Jarquin

I been with my partner since we were 16 years old. We had a son and we started to disrespect eachother and we were not working out. So we called it quit for couple of months. We got back together 10 year passed I thought everything was going well because we were talking about goals. But his phone was always lock didn’t think nothing much of it because I trusted him. My father passed away 3 months so I was in the dark. I got therapy to start healing. Something in my gut told me to check him Apple Watch and what do I find he called two different escorts. And one of the escorts could not answer the phone. Texted him back saying to him if he could please text her back. He said how is it going wanted to know if you had a change to meet up? I confronted him and he changed his password and I feel like there is probably more he has been hiding. When someone is guilty they come clean right? Well he wants to brush it under the rug like nothing happened. I felt that text message was not his first rodeo. I been feeling sad and I’m trying to work on it but alway feel like it’s a two way street. I feel like I’m in a dark dark place one I lost my dad and it fresh and the person I was leading on hurts me. How can I get better or even forgive him?

Julia McDormand
Julia McDormand

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Natalie Dunst
Natalie Dunst

I was having serious relationship problems with my boyfriend and it had resulted in him moving out to her friend’s apartment. Everything got worse because he started going to bars and strip clubs frequently with her friend, getting drunk and passing out. He always threatens me on the phone whenever I call him because of all the bad advice that her friend has given him. I really love him and we had been dating for 4 years which gave us a beautiful daughter. I had also lost a lot of money on therapists until I was introduced to Dr Phil Idoboiwa by a friend whom he helped to marry her childhood girlfriend; this gave me total confidence and strength to get him back. I did all he asked and after 4 days my boyfriend called me and rushed back home, things just changed between us emotionally. He has a job and stopped drinking and keeping irrelevant friends. It’s a miracle I never believed was possible because I had lost all hope until I found Dr Phil Idoboiwa. So that’s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe. All thanks goes to Dr Phil Idoboiwa for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the email address in the situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. contact him via email: drphilidoboiwa AT gmail. com

Winona Fonda
Winona Fonda

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Paulie
Paulie

5 years after her betrayalwe are very much in love . However I felt apart of me died that night i found out. We were 6 months into a relationship when it came out . It happened at the start . Pretty much the day before we met each other’s parents and officiated our relationship. When I found out it took away the happy memories i had and left me with embarrasment and shame and a sense of not feeling good enough. She didn’t quite see me in time misleading and using me. I have suffered in silence over the years and feel bad for her as I felt like the happy loving man she should have had changed forever. I love her deeply but can’t seem to shake the hurt of the past. I felt I lost myself and the man I should have been to her. I know I can’t change the past. I just hope that in the future I can let go and love myself

Ally
Ally

I agree with this but I also want to say that in certain circumstances it could have everything to do with you. In my last relationship my boyfriend would be very emotionally and verbally abusive and do things to hurt. Even though I had him I didn’t feel like I really HAD him. I cheated multiple times when I wouldn’t have if he treated me better. So I’m that situation it did have to do with him. He also wouldn’t let me leave and would threaten my life just saying before anyone comes at me.

Sweetden
Sweetden

I was cheated on with my military bf, he thought that I didn’t know that he’s hooking up with other girl. Seeing how they’ve exchange conversations thru chat makes me more feel a little about myself. I am tired of getting angry, & even asking him many times if he’s cheating on me. But that’s how it goes, guys are born to be that way. But I’m not saying that all guys are like that ‘coz I still believe that there’s one man out there who’s the opposite of unfaithful man. I pray that this too shall end, im tired of crying. Asking myself what I did to deseve this, but I know God won’t leave me broken. I pray that God will use my brokenness to fill me up for the new plans he has set for me. Be still and trust God above all 🙏😭❤️

Charles
Charles
Reply to  Ally

Cheating is never ok, even in this situation. You could have broken it off and left.