“The more in harmony you are with the flow of your own existence, the more magical life becomes.” ~Adyashanti
Have you turned on the news lately only to want to shut it off after a few minutes?
It seems that chaos has enveloped this planet. Every corner of every street has been impacted by the current situation; I have never seen anything quite like it in my time.
It may be incredibly difficult to find some breathing room between all of this. On one hand, you want to be up to date with the world, and on the other hand, it can seem like it’s all too much for one person to take in.
What can we do amidst all of this chaos?
When will it end?
We constantly ask ourselves these questions while it seems the chaos is building, not a break in between. And we find ourselves feeling stressed, tense, and anxious, which impacts our work, our relationships, and every other aspect of our lives.
This is where going with the flow of life becomes imperative.
In your life, in your darkest moment, there are two options: You can fight reality and harbor negative feelings, or you can accept whatever has come into your life and work toward finding a solution.
The faster we accept our reality, the faster we can move with the flow of life.
We usually have opinions and judgments about what’s going on or what has happened to us—that life isn’t fair, that things shouldn’t be happening, that we should be in a different place by now—and this is what leads to our suffering. Rather than arguing with reality, we must accept whatever comes.
A while back I lived in Budapest for almost a year. I loved my life there and had built up a foundation of friends and a steady routine as an expat. Unfortunately, my mother fell ill, and I decided to go visit my family in a different country.
I packed my bags and left my stuff at my friend’s house, fully expecting to later come back and retrieve all my belongings. But when I got to the airport the guard stopped me, then looked at me strangely while eyeing my passport.
“How long you in Hungary?” he asked in broken English.
I looked around a bit, hesitantly muttering, “Almost a year.”
“A YEAR?” he shouted.
You see, I had knowingly overstayed my visa by about six months. I knew it was my mistake. It was also my mistake to believe my expat friends who told me they wouldn’t really mind once I left the airport.
The man took my passports and came back a few moments later.
“No Europe two years,” he said as he stamped my passports and let me through to my flight.
That was that. My mom was ill, I was going to a country where I didn’t know anyone and didn’t know the language. I had just lost all my belongings; my clothes, my computer, anything that didn’t fit in a small suitcase was left behind.
At first, I was pretty annoyed. I knew it was my fault, but there was nothing left to do.
I had two choices in this situation: fight or accept. I could dwell in anger, sadness, and confusion, or I could just accept the circumstances and focus on what I was going to do from there.
Sure, this didn’t go my way. That’s how life is, we don’t get our way 100% of the time. I had to come into full acceptance of this situation, no matter how difficult it was, in order to move forward with my life and make the best of my circumstances.
I had my friend sell off everything that I owned leaving me with just a small amount of clothes and my laptop. I lost all my friends, lost my life, and on top of it all, I had to deal with an ill mother. But I was fortunate to still have a mother, and a friend to sell my stuff.
Of course, I didn’t focus on these things at first. The entire situation was one of the hardest periods of my life. It took me months of time and reflection to finally accept my situation.
It’s never easy at first; our first instinct is to put up a fight. But I believe these kinds of challenges are brought to us so that we can grow from them. Without these times, we would never learn how to find the flow of life.
The world is far too powerful for us to fight it. The faster we realize we aren’t in control of everything, the faster we can flow with whatever comes our way.
When you bring your focus within rather than trying to find an external source of happiness, it makes life a whole lot easier.
This is how you find peace amidst all this chaos of your darkest times—by creating it from within.
The world may seem toxic and destructive, but it is still possible to find the beauty within it all. Without yin, there is no yang.
If you can find peace within this chaos that the entire world is experiencing, imagine what kind of peace you can feel when it is all over. That’s why it’s imperative that you find this flow and flow with it.
Without this flow, we are left to suffer. Everything seems unjust and we start victimizing ourselves.
If you are having difficulty I would advise you to try to accept whatever problems you may be facing. The more acceptance you bring into your life, the faster you can deal with whatever you’re facing.
If you can’t do anything about your problem, then it’s time to let it go. If you can’t seem to let it go, allow everything to just be as it is.
Bear with me here, as I know this just sounds like another shallow platitude. This is a deceptively simple statement that has much more to it than it initially lets off.
When I had everything going against me and what felt like the whole world on my shoulders, I felt as if I wanted everything to be different. I felt like I lost control of everything and the world felt unfair.
When you are in a state of suffering, you are in a state of either pushing or pulling against something. Whatever it may be, you just have to stop.
That’s where you have a decision to make. You only have one life. You can spend the next few years wondering what if, why me, when will it change, or you can just stop it all, even if you have to make this choice repeatedly.
In the initial moments where you are truly suffering, it only takes just a brief moment of acceptance for you to feel relief. This is your window back to your flow. As brief as it may be, even for a millisecond, it’s a reminder that there is still peace to be found no matter what your state may be.
I could have spent the next few years wondering, why did all of this happen to me, and why aren’t things different? Instead, I chose to stop fighting with myself. I chose to stop fighting with something that I would never win against.
Life is good at throwing curveballs. There will be painful moments and suffering, but there will be times of intense joy as well. Keep reminding yourself that you can’t fight yourself forever. The faster you come into acceptance, the faster you can go back into a state of flow, which is the key to feeling at peace.
Take a moment and really reflect on what it means to “allow everything to just be as it is.”
Try to dig deep into it. Try to just be still. Let the flow of life back into you as you stop pushing and pulling. Everything will be okay if you give life a chance to show you that it will be.
About Roy Cohen
Frustrated with how difficult some parts of spirituality can be to digest, Roy Cohen has decided to take it into his own hands and start producing content that is easily understood by everyone. He’s since started a website, claimingclarity.com, and is constantly posting guides on meditation, spiritual awakening, and general living advice.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.
I have been reading articles in this site from last one year but I think this is the best wisdom words I have found until now. I like the way you wrote also the words touched my heart.
What if the chaos is inside? How do you get past the chaos and pain that makes it nearly impossible to stay in your own skin? The weight of shame that makes your mind dissociate just to survive?
I have never written before but, wow, that was an excellent post! So many pearls of wisdom. The hank you for sharing, Roy.
Thank you so much for this article. I have been finding it hard to apply this concept for years and something you said or the way you said it just hit home.
My teacher Gangagi says “Holding on to any thought or moment is true unnecessary suffering.” She says just stop! Stop any notion of who you think you are and focus on what is always here as eternal conscious itself.
Hi Caroline! I just read your post and I can relate. I don’t know if you have read Untamed, but she describes ‘the itchiness of being in your own skin’, and it’s absolutely true. We always seek external distraction to depersonalise and detach from what’s happening inside. I think that ultimately, as hard as it is, slowly building up resilience to sitting with this inner chaos is the solution. Try to sit quietly with it, at first maybe just for 30 seconds, then a minute, then 2 minutes and so on. Don’t try to indulge it, or repress it. Just notice it, identify it, call it a name, and just allow it to be there. You can say to yourself or out loud ‘oh, I see shame is here’ or something similar, and then be kind to yourself ‘it’s so difficult to be in my own skin, to feel this shame, but I’m strong enough to face it’. Shame is fed by secrecy and denial, the more you turn away from it, run from it, the bigger it grows. If you can sit with it for even a moment, you start to unravel its power. I hope this helps! I also recommend The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown which talks about shame resilience and building a happier life. 🙂
I believe that if we want to thrive going forward, we’ll have to learn to go with the flow, as you said. Acceptance and resilience. And find excitement in change. 🙂 Thank you for this article.