“In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make. ” ~Unknown
Have you ever thought about making a big change in your life?
Chances are, just that very idea produces a mild sense of anxiety and discomfort. But what if you were to actually go ahead and make that change? What would that look like, what would that feel like?
A rhetorical question, I realize. You only know if you go through with it. If you don’t, you will never know. It’s a really tough place to be—one that I have been grappling with for many months.
Recently I took my own leap of faith and resigned from my job of almost ten years. This was a long time coming; I invested much time and energy on what would be the ideal outcome and when I should take action.
Wracked with indecision, I thought through every aspect of my decision, and then mulled it over some more.
One thing that I learned from this approach is that intellect can be a useful and logical tool to work through certain issues, but it’s also very easy to over think a problem into oblivion.
Granted, while it’s possible to think a problem through to its logical end, this approach leaves you with a bigger problem. How can you be sure?
The term leap of faith proves to be an apt metaphor. There are no guarantees in life. X doesn’t always equal Y.
You choose to take the leap despite the uncertainty. That’s the trick.
It’s a brave move but so often in life, our life rewards increase exponentially with the risks that we choose to take. In taking the leap, you are making a very bold statement to the Universe. You are effectively saying, “I trust in you.”
While I was mulling, tweaking, and generally controlling every aspect of making this decision, the Universe had other ideas in store for me.
The work stress, which was previously tolerable, was turned up several degrees to a rolling boil.
Business colleagues who I previously had easy working relationships with were replaced with aggressive Wall St. Finance Guy. Time passed, stress levels rocketed skyward, tempers frayed. Something had to give. That something was me.
Knowing it would take an Indiana Jones boulder rolling toward me before I actually quit my job, the Universe finally got its message across. I was the proverbial frog, boiling away in a pot of my own making.
My work environment was so toxic it was starting to make me physically ill. Sunday nights were a hotbed of anxiety-driven insomnia, while the Monday morning elevator ride was akin to riding to the top of a rollercoaster, excruciatingly slowly.
Finally, I took control of the situation, and under the influence of a heady cocktail of anxiety with a splash of dry mouth, I handed in my notice.
I had imagined this moment for quite some time. I fantasized about the sense of euphoria I would feel in the aftermath.
In my deluded version of events, the soundtrack from Rocky would begin to pump out of invisible speakers as I made a couple of victory laps around the office, hands raised aloft.
Alas, the only thing that was raised aloft was my blood pressure.
The euphoria that I had imagined went MIA and its evil stepbrother, Fear, came strolling gleefully into its place. I certainly wasn’t expecting that.
What people don’t tell you about making these types of decisions is that there will be a period, usually immediately afterward, whereupon you stop and ask yourself, “What the F did I just do?”
When recollecting these typically momentous times in our lives, people tend to skip over this part of the story. Time passes, things work out, and so the focus leans on the following premise: I took a leap; it was scary but in hindsight it was the best thing I ever did.
Let’s focus on that scary bit for a second. I’m not advocating not following through with your dreams, but I feel that its important to know that there will be a period of time where a torrent of emotion pours forth. Good, bad, or indifferent.
In my experience, the post-leap process ranged wildly from the spectrum of buttock clenching anxiety through to “Sorry I didn’t mean that; can I take it back?”
When you make and follow through with a huge decision, know that you are effectively taking that little comfort zone you painstakingly created for yourself and burning it to the ground. Expect to feel uncomfortable and probably a little vulnerable.
I made the mistake of believing that the absence of this euphoric feeling was because I had made the wrong decision. I didn’t. It’s totally normal to spend this time with your old friends, Regret, Worry, and Anxiety.
They’ll come over for coffee, stay for dinner, and probably spend the night. Remember, they are just paying a visit to check in and ask you again, and probably again over your morning coffee, “Are you sure you made the right decision?”
What helped me get through this difficult time was a combination of self-care, talking with positive-minded friends, and most importantly, imagining what my life would look like if I didn’t go ahead with my decision.
I recently heard about the “Rule of Ten,” which I found very useful when faced with a big decision.
Ask yourself what your life would look like in ten minutes if you went ahead with it. What would it look like in ten months? Ten years? Then, reverse it. What would your life look like if you don’t go through with it? In ten minutes? Ten months? Ten years?
Simple, but incredibly powerful.
It’s been a while since I took the leap. My emotional houseguests have finally left, and today was the first day where I woke up and felt something. Was that Hope I heard ferreting around at the bottom of the bed? Oh and look, Excitement is knocking at the door.
Making a change can produce some of life’s most rewarding moment. This doesn’t necessarily have to be experienced through a dramatic gesture such as quitting your job. A small life tweak such as breaking a bad habit can oftentimes be equally as rewarding.
Changing what no longer works for us, whatever that might be, is an act of bravery. To stand up for oneself and say “I don’t want to do this anymore” shows us that we are capable of doing more and being more.
But it’s also important to know that there will be growing pains. After all, if it were easy for people to change up their lives, the whole population would be in constant flux.
Yet, ultimately change really is the only constant in life. It’s how we adapt to it that matters.
So, when you find yourself on the precipice of a cliff, teetering on the edge of a big decision, ask yourself what your life would look like if you made a change, and if you didn’t. This just might help you follow your heart and take your own leap of faith.
Woman leaping image via Shutterstock

About Victoria Cox
Victoria Cox currently resides in NYC. She has written for The Conversation, Tiny Buddha, Elephant Journal, The Lady Project, Dumb Little Man & LifeHack. You can connect with her on Instagram @vcox23.
I found this article interesting, especially the rule of 10
Thanks for your comment Sophia.
I love this article and it couldn’t have come at a better time. I used to earn a fairly good wage at investment bank but since being made redundant, I have been unlucky in securing a job. Then a friend offered a one year contract job to me, the thing was I was now earning less than half of what I used to earn. Everyone near and dear to me,told me to take it, because it was better than earning nothing sitting at home. So I did, then after one year, I was offered a full time job. But I knew deep down, if I take this, I will never get back to what I earned before. Forsaking feeling safe and secured in a poorly paid job, I declined, I took the leap of faith. I had no other job to go to. I am penniless. But I feel I owe this to myself. Thank you for reinforcing my decision and why I had to do what I do despite people thinking i am losing my mind in refusing a stable job.
This hit very close to home with me. I took a leap of faith, by quitting my day job a couple of weeks ago. After a student canceled her lessons with me, I said f@@#k it, this job is not for me. It was never for me. I could not face another student a force to teach them English. I never really wanted to teach English in the first place. I did it out of fear. I was afraid of not earning enough money to live. And now I wished I had quit a long time ago because I become distracted by it, and not focusing on my passion. A part of me hates myself for doing this and allowing this to happen and believe the lies by ex told me. As a result, I feel lonely and lost.
Now I want to make another leap of faith and travel to Italy and Spain, buying a one way ticket and just go with no real agenda. A part of me thinks that is crazy, the the other part of me says that I have to do that because if I don’t, and I stay in Warsaw for another year, I will end up dead, no lie. And sometimes I hear my ex’s voice telling me that I cannot do the things that I love.
I want to thank you for for this article, it seem like The Universe is giving me signals. I just wish I could find a way to take my second leap of faith. Thank you.
Thoroughly good advice – I really enjoyed this article, especially the note about the Rule of Ten. It will definitely help me as I am currently considering my next move. Really thought provoking.
Hi Talya, thanks so much for your heartfelt comment. Wishing you the best of luck in your decision to take that second leap of faith. All the best, Victoria
Hi there, thanks so much for your comment. Stepping outside our comfort zone is a scary place to be but its vital if we want to make fundamental changes. Stay strong and keep on making those choices that are right for you and only you. All the best, Victoria
Thanks Barbara, love the Rule of Ten, its helped me get through some tough times! All the best, Victoria
Hi Talya, I am in a very similar position right now, but have not actually made the big decision to screw it all and do what I want to. Yet… Still struggling with fear I guess. When are you thinking of traveling? If you are interested in having a partner in crime, get in touch, and maybe we can end up on a meaningful journey together! I’m 25 year old female Polish nurse, based in UK. Contact me on my email pwvv474@gmail.com if above sounds good to you. Otherwise, best of luck in wherever life takes you, congratulations on being brave! You should be proud of yourself!
Paula
Hey, forget what your ex ever said to you! It’s in the past, you have to make peace with it. Our significant others are supposed to uplift us. They are supposed to help us become better people and follow our dreams. Believe in yourself! Reassure yourself. Anytime the negativity creeps up just shake it off and remind yourself that it is not true. In my life people have tried to bring me down, it might’ve worked for a period of time, but not anymore. Now I use it as a way to uplift myself. If you want to pursue your dreams, do it! I would suggest to plan ahead or do some research and see what other folks have done. I am a firm believer that the only thing in our ways is ourselves! Wish you the best!
I absolutely loved your article. I am exactly at the point of contemplating why I am still where I am. I woke up this morning telling myself nobody gives up a steady great job for what is possible out there in the world, just because I am not happy!!! Your article hit me at the point that I was willing to give up. You are an inspiration to other people and make it easier with your magical use of words. Please keep these articles coming to give us the courage to do what we all came here to fulfill! Thank you for sharing your genius thoughts!
I found your article at the right time. I just quit my job a few days ago because in my heart I knew it wasn’t for me and would be a daily struggle if I kept going. I too have gone through the same thoughts and emotions as you. It is nice to know that I’m not alone, and that it will get better and in time will lead a wonderful happy life. To everyone else in the same boat, I wish you much courage and happiness to follow your heart and create your dream life. Thank you for writing this article.
I loved this article! I had the same experience in making a tough decision, but this was in relation to ending contact with my family. At first there was the euphoria of ‘free at last’, than the doubts came up. I too thought that I had made the wrong decision. I finally realised I was having to get use to a new reality and that was what my mind was struggling with. That period was extremely painful, however now almost 3 years down the track I realise I made the perfect decision for me.Thank you for your post.
Perfect timing, Victoria. Sometimes fear shows us the way to go. It shows us that our mind is expanding and our life is about to do that too. I’m going to have my first live interview on a radio show next Monday and when I say the request in my inbox the very first time was: “What?? Me?? No, I’m not going to do that.” After 30 seconds or so I admitted that this was fear speaking and that this fear is the marker showing me that I should do it. Thanks for this encourager! 😉
Hi Martina, congrats on feeling the fear and deciding to do the interview anyway. Fear holds us back in so many ways in life so its fantastic that you were able to see that so clearly in your own life. All the best, Victoria
Hi Kay, you are most certainly not alone! The more we open up the dialogue around these issues that hold us back the more we can find the courage to change them. Wishing you all the very best with everything, Victoria
What a great piece! Thanks so much Victoria for writing this, really hits home. And reminds me especially to keep the faith now that I’m in the 2nd year of working for myself. There definitely is the temptation to fall back into familiar and comfortable territory, but ultimately I know that by doing so I wouldn’t be working or living from my souls calling. I’m happier now than I’ve ever been, and I know the struggle and niggles will ease and peter out. Loving, living and leaping!
Hi Maxi, thanks so much for your kind words and I’m so pleased the article came to you at the right time! It’s never too late to change the things that no longer serve us. All the best, Victoria
and thankyou for your very insightful comment! All the best, Victoria
Here’s to loving, living and leaping! So glad you enjoyed the piece and well done you for breaking out of your comfort zone. All the best, Victoria
I’m reading this at time in my life where I’m mulling over such a leap of faith. By doing so, I also want to show the world who I really am and what I’m really worth. After 3 decades of hiding in the proverbial closet, I’m ready to free myself.
Hi Harvey, so glad this article appeared at the right time. Wishing you all the best in busting out of that proverbial closet and showing the world who you really are.
Loved this! The Ten Rule is such a great concept. I have found that with every instance that I decide to follow through with a decision or plan, the next tends to get a little easier. I have learned to truly trust myself, becoming more confident and comfortable with my intuition each time I take a leap. Great article – thank you!
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I remember lying in my room when I was in high school and writing in a journal to my future husband. I’d write all sorts of notes and questions and things I’d wonder or ask this man when I eventually met him. I would wonder where he was and what he was doing and if he was thinking about me too. It has always been such a strong desire in my heart to find a wonderful man to marry, someone who would love me and cherish me xand appreciate me for the person I am. I always thought I would get married right out of college, just like my parents, so when that plan didn’t work out, I started to get discouraged. A school mate snatched my future husband away from my arms just because she had spiritual powers, all hope was lost to me before i came across the help doctor (prayerstosaverelationship@gmail.com
) who i confided in, i told him my long story and he helped me regain back my lover with his prayers which is now my husband today. if you have any problem email the help doctor (prayerstosaverelationship@gmail.com
).
I remember lying in my room when I was in high school and writing in a journal to my future husband. I’d write all sorts of notes and questions and things I’d wonder or ask this man when I eventually met him. I would wonder where he was and what he was doing and if he was thinking about me too. It has always been such a strong desire in my heart to find a wonderful man to marry, someone who would love me and cherish me and appreciate me for the person I am. I always thought I would get married right out of college, just like my parents, so when that plan didn’t work out, I started to get discouraged. A school mate sxnatched my future husband away from my arms just because she had spiritual powers, all hope was lost to me before i came across the help doctor (prayerstosaverelationship@gmail.com
) who i confided in, i told him my long story and he helped me regain back my lover with his prayers which is now my husband today. if you have any problem email the help doctor (prayerstosaverelationship@gmail.com
).
Perfection. At last, the “and do it anyway” article that gives some meaningful face time to “feel the fear”! Recognizing that fear is the only way to push past it to the good stuff… and you just handed us the tools! Bravo and thank you!
Haven’t read much from your site as I am busy building mine, but I am impressed. This article spoke to me as I just put my notice in at work.
I am having that feeling of, “OMG what did I just do????” but I know that I am making the right decision.
Thanks for the article.
Regards,
Dylan Madden