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What the Bathroom Scales Are Not Telling You

Feet on Scale

The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.” ~ C. JoyBell C.

At a recent visit to the doctor’s office I had some routine checks done. Afterward, the doctor flipped through the findings and said, “Blood pressure, good. Pulse, good. Weight, okay.”

He then continued talking about other things, but my mind was still on his previous words. “Weight, okay.”

Why wasn’t my weight “good” like my pulse and blood pressure? 

I had managed to completely skim over the fact that my vital signs were absolutely fine. I immediately fixated on the physical aspect—and added my own negative slant to it. 

There is so much that is so deeply ingrained within us that even when we are self-assured, we still get caught off guard sometimes.

A few weeks before the doctors appointment I’d gone shopping for a winter coat. I found one I liked, grabbed two sizes for comparison, and went through to the fitting room. One size was slightly too snug under the arms and the other gave me more freedom to move.

But the better fitting coat had a label that read “large.” And I had a problem with it.

I tried both coats on again, as though somehow expecting a different result. I told myself I was just making sure. Just being certain. Once again I determined that the larger size was a better fit. Except this time, I played it a little differently.

Instead of just looking at my body shape and size in my reflection, I looked into my eyes. I reminded myself that I am a beautiful, empowered woman who does not permit herself to be restricted by limiting labels. Who does not measure her self-worth by numbers. 

And off I went to the cash register smiling.

Both experiences gave me a bit of a wobble, but I was also grateful for the opportunity to remind myself of what truly matters.

It can be challenging at times to keep our confidence in tact, because even when we deflect the worst of what some of society (and almost all of the media) tries to throw at us, occasionally it finds a way through.

Yes, I could be slimmer. I could say no to the glass of wine or the homemade fudge. I could. But—empowerment alert—I don’t want to.

I choose my life. All of it. I choose the thoughts that I feed my mind and I choose the food that I feed my body. I strive to ensure that I’m in balance.

There is a space between greed and deprivation and I (mostly) live there. Sometimes I wander. I’m okay with that. Because honestly, it’s better for me to visit both directions occasionally than to be hell-bent on staying firmly in the middle. 

I follow a plant-based diet and I exercise every day. But I don’t want to be fixated on a so-called ideal (and unrealistic) image that doesn’t allow me to enjoy my life.

Sometimes a little loss of control is good for the soul.

Like many of us, I used to obsess about my weight. I would step onto the bathroom scales every single day and look to see if I could hit that magic number. Quite often I did. I also had a variety of hospital trips that unearthed low blood pressure, repeated urinary tract infections, and a brutal inner ear infection.

And that’s why I went to the cash register with the large coat and a larger grin.

The bathroom scales cannot tell me how much my contribution to this world counts. They cannot tell me the density of the passion I feel for what I do. They cannot tell me the value of my cherished relationships.

What if we stopped measuring our waistlines and started measuring our magical moments? The ones where we laugh like lunatics with our friends. The ones where we look down and find our hand wrapped in someone else’s. The ones where we let ourselves get gorgeously lost in a book or a movie. The ones where we fill up on love and get dizzy drunk with happy. 

Will you get to the end of your days thinking, “I’m so glad I spent all those years sucking in my stomach”?

Or will you smile as remember how much you enjoyed creating precious memories?

Will your final thoughts be that you wish your thighs had been slimmer or smoother?

Or will you just be grateful that they carried you?

Will you ponder on what everyone else thought of your life?

Or will you just think “I’m glad I did it my own glorious way”?

I may have the odd moment of self-doubt (aka being human) but there are many, many more moments where I remember that I’ve come a long way since being that younger, slimmer, unhappier, less confident girl.

I’m now a woman with a wonderful weapon—an empowered mind. And believe me when I tell you, she doesn’t play small.

Feet on scale image via Shutterstock

About Skylar Liberty Rose

Skylar Liberty Rose is a writer who helps women find their courage through creativity. She is driven by a deep desire to see women claim and keep spaces which support their self-expression. She is the creator of e-series Creating Courage: The Heart of Creative Living which is available via her website.

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vizuz

I used to make myself suffer just to be ripped(very low bodyfat) all the time. Extreme dieting and excessive exercise just to “look good”. Looking back on it, it was plain insanity. Yes, I was happy for the 2 seconds I stood naked in front of a mirror, but the rest of the time I felt miserable. Other people really don’t care that much about your weight as much you think you do.

It’s like when you buy that brand new TV. The first two days you love how your TV looks in your living room, after that you are used to it and it’s just there.

I’m not saying eating healthy food and exercise isn’t important – it is – but do it because it makes you feel good, don’t do it because it only might make you look good. When you feel good, you will also look good – in time. The love in your heart is a million times more important than the fat around your waist. Even if society tells us otherwise.

Skylar Liberty Rose

It’s crazy isn’t it?! We chase these ideals thinking that we’ll find happiness and yet we all really do is fill up on misery. I absolutely agree – healthy food and exercise is important but the motivation to live a healthy life is so much more meaningful when it’s from a place of love and non judgement. Thanks so much for your insights!

Krithika Rangarajan

As someone who has battled – and overpowered – Anorexia, and is battling Binge Eating Disorder, along with a host of other Emotional Disorders, I am immensely grateful for this post.
Thank you, Skylar! 🙂
Kitto

Thank you so much, Krithika. I’m really glad this was helpful for you. We can be so very hard on ourselves. Please keep being very kind to yourself and know that you are not alone. Much love to you.

rt

Great story Skylar. At the age of 48 years I started putting on weight because of peri-menopause and kept it on. Now at 54 I’ve been still struggling with it going through menopause. Before this change I was one to constantly think of my weight 24/7, and was very slim. Ever since going through theses change when I go for my routine doctor’s checks, and I am asked to get on the scales,I reply “I know I’ve put on weight because of my hormonal changes so why should I get on them and hurt my own feelings” because of a number. So I no longer weigh myself (and at the doctors I don’t look if they need to know my weight). I’ve come to the stage in my life I accept what my body is going through and I support it 100%. As long as I am taking care of it I don’t need to know a number to do the right thing or dictate my life. I think when you get to the stage in your life and you know who you are, you realize what really matters,you. Loving yourself unconditional. Good luck!

Skylar Liberty Rose

Loved reading this! It’s so empowering to be in tune with your body and be able to acknowledge that at different stages of our lives our bodies will behave in different ways. And I love what you said about supporting your body 100%. There is a fabulous quote by Nayyirah Waheed that I saw recently that says:

And I said to my body, softly, “I want to be your friend.”
It took a long breath and replied,”I have been waiting my whole life for this.”

❤️

rt

Thank you:)

LesyaLi

Interesting story, very helpful, thanks you so much for sharing!

In my case, when I am on my scale at the bathroom, I regard those “numbers” as a reminder, whether or not I shall pay more attention to my nutrition / exercise… But am not falling for that old trap ever again: the less I weigh, the better I feel about myself.

Sometimes I can go on for days feeling heavy and lethargic and all sorts of “out of balance”.

Then I remind myself to drink more water, give up my sugary awful snacks and do more running or yoga and then, that sense of heaviness somehow dissipates…

Skylar Liberty Rose

Yes! Listening to how your body truly feels is so much healthier than looking down at a set of scales and allowing them to determine whether or not you’re living well. I think our bodies give us so much valuable feedback and paying attention to those messages really helps guide us. Thanks so much for sharing these insights 🙂

LaTrice Dowe

Thank you so much for sharing your story, which I find not only helpful, but inspiring.

In order for me to determine my weight, I’ll use my wardrobe as a giveaway. I don’t see the point on using the weight scale, since I’m going to feel depressed about my weight. Even if some of my clothes don’t fit, I can be fully aware of the changes that I’ll have to make.

So far, I lost twenty five pounds, and kept the weight off for over a year! I made a few changes with my diet, by cutting back on fried foods, fast foods, eating plenty of fruits and vegetables, and exercise everyday. There’s nothing wrong with have a few guilty pleasures, but it’s important to enjoy them in moderation.

Skylar Liberty Rose

That’s amazing that you’re maintaining your weight. And with such a healthy frame of mind too – good for you! Moderation is key, you’re absolutely right. If we pay attention and eat mindfully then we tend not to stray too far. And when we do stray (because we’re human) we need to remind ourselves that we haven’t ‘failed’ and that we can just pick up where we left off. Doesn’t need to destroy us 🙂

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