
“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” ~African Proverb
It is just past ten in the morning on a Tuesday.
My wet boardshorts and blue tank top are drying at lightning speed in the sweltering South Indian sun.
I am feeling alive and exhilarated after my surf session in the surreal blue, bathtub-warm Arabian Sea.
Surfing waves consistently has been my goal for the past two years, and I’m doing it. Which is pretty awesome considering that I never thought I would surf again.
The trauma and fear from a surfing accident ten years ago, that nearly knocked my teeth out, was still lodged in my body for years, and my life’s focus had shifted from sports to yoga.
When I landed in Kerala, India, my intention was to do an intensive period of study with my Ashtanga yoga teacher for ten weeks and then return to Rishikesh in Northern India, where I had been basing myself.
A chance invitation brought me to the coastal town I have been living in for the past two-plus years because of the pandemic.
And it just so happens there is good surf here.
My reentry into surfing has been slow and steady.
For my fiftieth birthday present I gave myself ten surf lessons.
I decided I needed to start off as a beginner and took basic lessons to ease myself back into things and get comfortable back on a surfboard.
An Indian man in his mid-thirties who was in my surf class asked, “How old are you?”
“Fifty,” I replied.
“I hope I am still surfing at your age,” he said back.
I think he maybe meant this as a compliment, but I took it self-consciously and wondered why it mattered what my age was.
It is now two years later.
I have slowly gone from a beginner to an intermediate surfer.
As I sipped a hot chai out of a dixie cup on the side of a busy fishing village road, after my morning surf, an older Indian gentleman with grey hair asked me, “What is your age?”
“Fifty-two,” I replied.
His jaw dropped and he said, “I thought you were seventy. You have really bad skin.”
Yes, this really happened.
And it has happened more than once.
Every time it’s happened, I have allowed it to knock the wind out of my sails.
Wow, I think, how is it even possible that I look seventy years old when I feel better than when I was twenty-one?
In all honesty, good skin genetics are not in my favor. Coupled with my love of the sun and spending most of my life outside, it has left me with the skin of an alligator.
I lied about my age up until my mid-forties.
On my forty-sixth birthday, I told a woman who asked about my age that I was forty. She laughed and asked if I was sixty.
But this chai-guy encounter sparked me to lie in the other direction.
What if I start telling these men I am eighty-five? I thought to myself as I drove my Mahindra scooter away from the chai shop. This idea made me smile, and I immediately felt more empowered.
Instead of feeling ashamed of my skin, I decided to hand it right back to them.
I no longer care what they or you think about how I look, and I put zero energy into my appearance.
It doesn’t matter to me because inside I feel amazing.
I practice the whole of Ashtanga yoga’s challenging intermediate series six days a week, which is something I never in my wildest dreams thought would be possible in my forties, and I surf every day.
The young twenty-something Indian surf guys are now giving me fist pumps and saying, “You are really surfing and catching some big waves now!”
And they have stopped asking about my age.
I felt called to share this story because it made me wonder: Why are we not allowed to age?
Why is it an embarrassment to have old-looking skin?
Why can’t I have wrinkles and grey hair and own it?
This is what the body does.
It ages.
So then why are we not meant to look our age? Or in my case even older!
I have decided to take a stand and turn the tides.
I am claiming my age and my place in the surf line and voicing my truth.
We are allowed to age.
About Polly Green
Polly Green is a psychic medium, spiritual coach, and filmmaker who guides self-aware souls through growth and transition. She helps clients release old patterns, reconnect with their true essence, and feel grounded, clear, and empowered in life and work. Blending mindset shifts with spiritual tools, she supports awakening empaths in embracing their gifts and helps those seeking comfort and connection with loved ones on the Other Side. Connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube, or visit her website.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.
Oh my, Polly! I so enjoyed your article: “We Are Allowed to Age: Why I Don’t Care That I Look Old”! I am right there with you! I often go to the local gem faire to see what is new in the world of healing stones. I am 75 years old. There is always a group of young, very classy looking men & women in their mid 20’s trying to solicit me to sit down and let them show me how to “eliminate the wrinkles” on my face. I laugh and tell them that I earned every wrinkle that I have and let them know that I am not interested in “eliminating” them. They usually back away at that point, looking as if I am a bit dotty! I laugh and wish them a wonderful day. Our world is a bit odd at times. Bless you and may you enjoy your skin and surfing for many, many years to come! Thank you for the smile! Peace, love and blessings to you! ~ Sarah
Thank you so much for this post Polly! I turned 59 this year…. and began getting anxiety about turning “60”. Somewhere in my mind… 58 or younger seems much closer to the age I feel inside… which is about 46. But “60” seems like a senior…lol! I don’t want to be a senior!! Coupled with how I’ve seen my parents deteriorate in the last 2 years (they are 82)… I decided very quickly that I was going to be the healthiest I could be in my 60’s… so I can enjoy life as I age. I stopped obsessing about weight loss and started focusing on exercise. Of course.. the weight started to fall off. 22 lbs lighter, I walk 60 min a day in 3 x 20 min sessions. Jusr this week I’ve added resistance band exercises to build strength. I’m sure anxiety about turning 60 will crop up again periodically, but I’m determined to live life feeling younger. Why not??!! I love that you are back to surfing! Enjoy Life Polly! 💕 Namaste 🕉
I absolutely adore you & your fabulous attitude!! I am 69 years old… still playing tennis, hiking, and traveling here, there, and everywhere. I too, have gotten those ‘shady’ comments and have taken it to heart. But then one day I said – “NO more” and I continue to have energy & enthusiasm to live life to the fullest. Keep going sista and spread your 😊 joy.
58. Just getting back into mountain biking.
How about saying ..Im 85!
Loved this.
We do not fear ageing …we have actually been accustomed to the skin that we are born with. We own that youthful skin with confidence, we find beauty in the youth and suddenly when we see it taking a deeper dip in wrinkles that were never a part of us, we feel less, insufficient and someone who will no longer be noticed.
Had it been the other way…born with wrinkles ..
We would fear their fading away.
This is how life is.
But what counts is, how beautifully you embrace this change.
Im what My age has made me…so let me be thankful for every sign that reflects it, even the Ageing itself.<
I like the story that Ram Dass told. When he went back to India a man came up to him and said, “Ram Dass! You look so old!” Originally, RD took it as an insult until he thought about the way the man said it. It was like, “You made it!!”
I’m looking forward to “making it”.
How about saying ..Im 85!
Loved this.
We do not fear ageing …we have actually been accustomed to the skin that we are born with. We own that youthful skin with confidence, we find beauty in the youth and suddenly when we see it taking a deeper dip in wrinkles that were never a part of us, we feel less, insufficient and someone who will no longer be noticed.
Had it been the other way…born with wrinkles ..
We would fear their fading away.
This is how life is.
But what counts is, how beautifully you embrace this change.
Im what My age has made me…so let me be thankful for every sign that reflects it, even the Ageing itself.
You are so very welcome Deanne and thank you for your comment! I love your decision to be the healthiest you possible! Massive congrats on your weight loss and determination to live life feeling young. It is so important to claim our well being, because you are right why not enjoy life while we are here! All the best to you on your journey Deanne!