“Most things I worry about never happen anyway.” ~Tom Petty
There was once a wise farmer who had tended his farm for many years. One day his horse unexpectedly ran away into the mountains. Upon hearing the news, the farmer’s neighbors came to visit.
“How terrible,” they told him.
“We’ll see,” the wise farmer replied.
The next morning, to the farmer’s surprise, the horse returned, bringing with it three wild horses.
“How wonderful. You are very lucky,” the neighbors exclaimed.
“We’ll see,” replied the farmer.
The following day, the farmer’s son tried to ride one of the wild horses. The horse was untamed and the boy was thrown and fell hard, breaking his leg.
“How sad,” the neighbors said, offering sympathy for the farmer’s misfortune.
“We’ll see,” answered the farmer.
The next day, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.
“We’ll see,” the farmer said.
This Zen story demonstrates the wisdom of not jumping to conclusions. Have you ever worried about something, only to later discover that your worry was unfounded and untrue? The ego is afraid of the unknown, so it jumps to conclusions in order to feel a sense of certainty.
In our ego’s need for certainty, we make assumptions. And when we make assumptions, we make mistakes.
We can never know how the future will unfold. Yet fear convinces us to believe in present circumstances and future outcomes that are totally untrue. This is the origin of worry. Worry is the ego’s way of satisfying itself with an answer—any answer, no matter how irrational it is.
I worry about many things, big and small. I worry about getting stuck in my career, being rejected in my relationships, not having enough money, and whether or not I will miss the next subway into Manhattan.
But worry is dangerous. When we worry, we make mistakes. For example, I might make an assumption about you, such as thinking you are angry with me. Then I act on this assumption.
The false premise of my actions causes me to become defensive. My actions then cause you to make an assumption about me. Since you are unable to see that I am trying to protect myself, you assume I am angry with you.
Soon we are engaged in mutual anger based on a false assumption caused by worry.
The truth is, I will never know fully what is in your head, and you will never know fully what is in mine. Therefore, acting under the ignorance of assumption creates a ripple effect of mistakes.
Imagination + Fear = Worry
It is common in our society to believe that more thinking is always better. This is not always so. Intelligence is an incredible tool, but over-thinking can be just as harmful as under-thinking. Over-thinking is a sickness that creates paranoia and worry.
When we over-think, we make up scenarios in our mind and convince ourselves that these scenarios are true.
Without enough data to make a proper assessment of a situation, our ego hijacks our imagination and jumps to fear-based assumptions. Imagination is usually a powerful creative force, but when imagination is applied with fear, it becomes worry.
The Universe works in mysterious ways. Embracing the mystery of life gives us a calm within the storm of uncertainty.
Instead of over-thinking and jumping to false conclusions, learn to relax your thoughts and say, “I don’t know.”
Trusting uncertainty gives us peace and confidence; and when we wait in stillness without the need for an answer, the truth will reveal itself. The end of fearing the unknown is the end of worry.
Worry is wishing for what you don’t want.
Thoughts are magnets that attract our reality. Peaceful thoughts create a peaceful reality. Fearful thoughts create a fearful reality.
A thought repeated on a regular basis becomes a habit. When a thought becomes a habit, it forms a belief. When a thought forms a belief, it attracts external events that align with your internal state.
Energy flows where attention goes. When you focus on what you want, it is more likely to come to pass. When you focus on what you do not want, it is more likely to come to pass. When you worry, you send a signal into the Universe that attracts your worry. Your focus over time forms your future.
Will a single thought of worry cause your worry to come true? Probably not. Will sustaining your worry with attention and focus over a long period of time attract the worry into your life? The more you focus, the more likely it becomes.
Because focus forms your future, it is important to only concentrate on thoughts you want to actualize.
Your reality grows from the seeds you plant. The seeds of your beliefs grow into your thoughts. The seeds of your thoughts grow into your actions. The seeds of your actions grow into your karma.
You are responsible for the seeds you plant, not the results. When you place your attention on the present moment, without attachment to the past or worry about the future, and plant seeds according to your highest intentions, the results will fall into place.
Worry is an irrational attachment to, or fear of, a specific result. While it sounds counterintuitive, the only way you can achieve a desired result is by not focusing on the result; you must focus on your effort—here and now.
You cannot change what is already growing. Instead, start planting different seeds.
We’ll see.
I still worry. But now, whenever my ego gives me something to worry about, I take a deep breath and meditate in silence for a moment.
I sit in stillness and reassure myself. “I don’t have enough data to understand how this event will impact my future,” I say. “Perhaps there is a plan in place that I cannot see. I don’t know what will happen next and that is perfectly okay. I will not jump to conclusions. Let’s wait and see what happens.”
Woman and the sky image via Shutterstock
About James McCrae
James McCrae is an author, strategist and creator of Sh#t Your Ego Says, a website with simple strategies to overthrow your Ego and become the hero of your story. An award-winning strategist and creative director, James helps businesses and individuals turn imagination into results and make work that matters. Learn more at shityouregosays.com.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Awesome! A very timely article and well written. It is interesting to observe how often times I read what appears to be ‘old information’ in totally different ways. When the mind is more mature or when the mood is different certain pieces of information can flow into the mind in mysterious ways!
I needed this, thanks James!
Hi James
I have heard that story before and it perfectly illustrates the idea of not judging or jumping to conclusions as something that seems ‘bad’ or ‘good’ as we label things to be can turn out to produce a very different result. As I have gotten better at surrendering and just accepting things as they are without making any sort of judgment about what it might mean for me-or at least trying to do that as best I can–life gets so much easier. I have gotten more comfortable with the idea that there is just a ton of stuff I don’t know or understand, and that there are infinite possibilities beyond what my puny brain can come up with.
My work with law of attraction has helped ease that sense of worry we may feel when thinking about the future and the unknown–we are conditioned to view it more negatively, and while unwanted circumstances may pop up, plenty of great things that have yet to happen are formulating as well. Great post!
Great comment, Kelli. I totally agree! The amazing thing is, when we can accept – and even embrace – “not knowing,” we allow more goodness to enter our lives than we would worrying about the answer to everything.
Thank you for this. It’s been printed for repeated reading–I needed this right now!
Great point! “There is nothing new under the sun,” they say. I think every generation somehow uncovers the same ancient truths that humanity keeps forgetting. If only we had a way to remember the insights and wisdom of the past. Then again, I think discovering truth for ourselves is part of the adventure of life.
Not only did I enjoy the article. I love your website. Bringing humour to challenging situations is a great way to open yourself up to a new perspective. I often remind myself to surrender. I’m not the General Manager of the universe and ultimately believe that I’m supported and being guided to what’s best for me. The Serenity prayer is helpful. Thank you again for a great article!
Thank you very much. I needed it too! Sometimes we find great wisdom where we have the most pain.
Hi Jennifer. Thank you so much for the great comment. I’m glad you like my website. I think, like you said, it’s important to not take spirituality too seriously. Yes, we are all divine, connected, creative consciousness. But that is a state of presence that should be enjoyed. Besides, we reach people better when we remain light and fun, not heavy and serious 🙂
I needed this so much right now, literally just moments ago dealing with something that arose, that I know my thoughts attracted. As you said, “The more you focus, the more likely it becomes.” I’ve been manifesting a lot through my thinking, the things I don’t want and it’s been validating my fearful thoughts. Thanks so much for this post, everything about it was ON POINT. I’ve been struggling with this and I’m trying so hard to work on it. It’s been a horrible habit.
Hi Amalia. You’re not alone. We all are addicted to thoughts that do not serve our higher interests. This is the nature of the Ego. But the good news is, we can re-wire our thinking to support our intentions. External circumstances to not create your reality. Your thoughts and beliefs do 🙂
Thank you so much for this article. I just bookmarked it as I would need to read it on “daily basis”.
Wow! What an honor for you to say that. I need to remind myself of this same thing all the time. You are not alone 🙂
Thank you so much for your post! I need to keep reading this. When I think that if I worry about something I will attract it and it will come to pass, my anxiety increases! Maybe it would be more accurate for me to think that if I worry I bring more worry into my life which blinds me to all the blessings I have.
Great article!!
This is a wonderful post!!! This is rich with insights and beautiful wisdom! Thank you for sharing your perspective, brilliant! 🙂
That’s an excellent perspective, Bill. You are right. Since our thoughts attract our reality to us, when you dwell on your worries, you are actually helping to materialize them! It’s best to see your worry as an outside observer. Say “it’s interesting that I think that” and move on to more peaceful thoughts.
Thank you!
Thank you so much! That is so nice of you to say!
“Over-thinking is a sickness that creates paranoia and worry.” Story of my life..:P. This was a really insightful & eye-opening blog; thank you for sharing! The example of the ‘Zen Koan’ was beautiful…:)
Thank you for your nice comment. It’s not only the story of your life, it’s the story of most of our lives. But it doesn’t have to be. The more we remember that we are not victims of circumstance, the less we “buy into” our worry. Cheers!
So say having had a disabled child is something I may have worried myself into? How would you explain this situation?
Hello Siobhan. Thank you for the comment. You make a very good point that I hope to add clarity to. First of all I’d like to state that all people are equally important and have an equally important role to play during this experience of life on Earth. All children are a blessing, and I know that your child has an important role to play in the world and in your own life. It’s important that we put trust in the struggles we face and understand that every moment in life is a new lesson. Having said that, it’s important to remember that it is not our circumstances in life that define us. It is our reaction to them. We all experience –myself included– life events we did not plan and did not want. But this is where choice comes in. We can choose to react to our environment with worry, or we can choose to trust the experience and have faith that there is purpose in all things. So, to answer your question, no, you have not worried your way into anything. But your reaction to your circumstances will determine how much you grow from them.
Agree with all you say, but always confused as to where Karma comes into it? Any thoughts?
I wouldn’t worry too much about karma. It’s better to be invested in the present moment. Whatever reason we face our personal struggles doesn’t matter. What is important is that we face them we grace and non-judgement 🙂
Nice Article James! Yes, excessive thinking is a bane of adult life. This is especially true of elders. It not only affects our peace, it affects our attention, sleep, and health too. Fortunately, now people have started recognising this problem.
Yes, I agree! Thanks for the great comment.
good thoughts. 🙂
Thank you!
There is a cognitive bias called thought-action fusion. It is a symptom of mental disorders like anxiety, depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder. It is basically when someone believes that simply thinking or worrying about something makes it more likely to happen. It is a delusional belief common amongst chronic worriers. Believing that simply worrying about something makes it more likely to happen is one thing that causes more severe anxiety and severe distress. Similarly there is the belief that worrying can prevent a bad thing from happening. Both are delusions. Worrying won’t change the outcome. Worry only causes us to suffer. Worry is quite useless.
If we worry a lot, we view the world as a dangerous place. That becomes our reality because we believe it. It doesn’t actually make bad things more likely to happen to us. It is not true that simply worrying about something makes it more likely to happen. It is true that the more you worry about something, the more you think it’s likely to happen.