“If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
I heard this story recently while listening to a favorite radio show of mine. It was about this homeless man who was detailing some of his experience with homelessness.
He told stories of sleeping outside in the rain and waiting for hours to get into an overcrowded shelter. He even told a story about another homeless man, who could speak no English, who told him about how he had spent a sleepless night in a trash compactor because he felt safer and was drier than sleeping out on the street.
He didn’t get much sleep, however, because all night he kept worrying that someone might press “the button.”
The single story he told that stood out in my mind, however, was the story of the time he was offered the job of house-sitting for a friend. As you could imagine, the thought of existing somewhere safely, of being sheltered from the weather, of being able to relax on a couch and watch TV was overwhelming for him.
He was excited like a child might be excited before being told that his parents had decided to go out and buy him a brand new bicycle.
There was no doubt that he was thrilled about all these things, and he certainly had a right to be. With all that he was about to experience, however, the thing that he looked forward to the most was sleeping.
Really? Sleeping? I wondered, how could he be excited about sleeping when he had a house all to himself?
The thing is, sleeping in a warm bed, to most of us, is something we take for granted. Something we don’t ever think about. But, as this man detailed, sleeping is tough when you’re homeless.
You don’t get much sleep when the cold and wet are invading every inch of your body. Most of the time, when you do sleep, you sleep with one eye open for fear of having something stolen, or being attacked.
So when he first fell like a rough heavy stone into the softness of his friend’s bed that first night, all he could do was lay there looking at the dark quiet ceiling and feel grateful. Then he said something that was special to me. Something that resonated inside me like the assertive crisp ring of a bell.
He said the first night was the best. When asked why, he said because he knew he had 16 nights more to go. That every night after, he knew was one less he would be able to enjoy that safe, secure, warm bed.
Now this story could easily be about gratefulness, about a collective sigh of relief from those of us who know we have a warm bed to go home to tonight. It could also be a call for compassion for those who have less than we do.
But it’s more than that for me. For me, it’s about those 16 days—a reminder of the time we all have that is limited.
The limited number of days we have to sleep in a warm bed. The fleeting time we have with our families, our spouses. The finite number of times we can smell that beautiful smell in the air as the leaves begin to fall and quietly blanket the ground in autumn.
The few opportunities I have to see the look on my 5 year old daughter’s face when she tells me she loves me. The all too few opportunities I have to feel a hug and a kiss from my wife.
I think of myself over the years, and even now, rushing through days in my job as a software designer in a sort of fog. Thinking about nothing but getting through the next project, the next work week, so I could enjoy the time on the weekend.
The stuff I was “getting through” were the flagstones and foundations of my very self. The very things that make up my life. I was smashing through them without respect like a plow through a soft field.
All these things that make up our lives will neither last, nor repeat forever. To capture them and hold on to them is impossible. To even try to is unwise. The only way to honor them fully then, is to be mindful of each experience we have while it’s happening. Even if that experience is as seemingly mundane as sleeping in a warm soft bed.
Photo by aussiegal
About Roger Horn
Roger Horn is a software architect with a passion for writing. He hopes he is lucky enough to write a book someday that may help and inspire others. He writes a blog at Oatmeal in a Bowl.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
great post! i have a problem with being present – i’m always somewhere else. i’m trying to be still and to be fully committed to every passing moment of my life. your post is very inspiring. more blessings to you!
Thanks for giving me something to think about. I have a tendency to rush through way to many things in life. I have really been trying to slow down and make sure I am appreciating more of the wonderful life moments that are constant in my life. From the beautiful sunsets, smiles, etc,
Savor every moment. Wise advice. Thanks for the insightful reminder!
A perfect post for a perfect Friday. Thank you, Roger…
Perfect & True Happiness. My Danish mother & God still didn’t approve of me, so I myself approve of no idea, whatsoever that I can as more, as less, than IS my big case at hand, just to be an expert on, what my own life is & so on. Whatever God exists or not, my good news is thus my own & voluntary repetition testimony to being happy to exist as a righteous man, though & in that my righteousness forces me start by admitting that I smoke, that is, for now, one day I’ll eternally quit it, so that I can of course become & believe in & so on, whoever told me what, ‘why & when,’ greetings, ‘J.A.,’ guitartie@yahoo.ie.
P.S.: That I can exist as more, as less etc., excuse me, MY mistake, that’s for sure, greetings, ‘J.A.’
You touch on a universal problem and the solution for us all. Beautifully written!
Robin
I too, heard this story. Thank you for sharing your wonderful perspective on it.
Roger: What a wonderful reminder of how wonder (seeing things as if for the first time) inevitably turns to gratitude (seeing them as if for the last.) The man’s 16 nights in that safe, comfortable bed illustrate that truth so well! Thanks for sharing this, and for your wonderful writing.
What a touching story! As I was reading this, my iPod was playing softly Richard Marx’s song Hold On To The Night – … 16 more days, huh! We really should hold on to the every minute that we have here and make the most of all of it!
Beautifully written, and so true! This really touched my heart.
Thank you so much, I’m so much a work in progress, I needed a story like I heard to remind me that each moment, bad, good or just ordinary is so important and not worth missing.
Good for you, I struggle with this myself. Sometimes, to get myself out of that habit, I just try to stop and breathe, let the world invade my senses for a moment. Everything I was about to do instantly becomes less a priority.
Thanks for reading!
You’re welcome! Thanks for reading!
Thank you for reading and your comments!
Thanks Deanna!
Thanks so much Jeffrey for that wonderful insight! And for the nice compliment on my writing.
We so should! Nothing reminds me more of that than my daughter. Both because she is growing up to fast and each moment is precious, but also because she lives in the present and makes the most of every moment ALL the time.
Thank you Anthony! I’m so glad my words could do that!
Thank you Robin! It is such a universal problem. We all seem so distracted now, with so much media, electronic devices and schedules to keep. It seems we “plow” through the moment too much.
So beautifully written. Thank you for the reminder. I lost my dearest grandmother just over two weeks ago and it was brought to my attention just before I read your article that I have still been mourning, which is why I haven’t been able to get out of bed most days when I have felt confused thinking it might be my health issues. You have reminded me of what I have always believed, every moment is precious. My grandmother would want me up and living, and honoring her life and mine instead of in bed. Thank you for the wake up call!
Jacquellyn
Thank you so much Jacquellyn! I’m so sorry for your loss. Hang in there. You are right, every moment is precious, bad, good or ordinary. It’s sometimes hard to see it that way when bad stuff happens to us, but when you can be present with that moment, somehow you realize how much there still is to be grateful for.
I had a moment like this at work today, as I watched three second graders smiling ear to ear, skipping down the hall on their restroom break. They weren’t going to recess or really oing anything we consider to be a real “thrill”, they were on a restroom break. How ordinary. I thought that every moment in everyone’s life should be filled with such pure happiness, savoring those moments. Could you imagine how amazing that would be?! There was no major event or moment evoking their smiles and skips…it was just pure pleasure of the now. You don’t see adults skipping as they take a break from their desks to use the bathroom. We are too busy ruminating about what comes next, or what came before. There truly are beautiful snippets at every point in our days. Today, it took a few seven year olds to show me that. Thank you for the article.
Wow, I couldn’t have said it better! My daughter so reminds me of this every day. Every moment, no matter how ordinary, is where she lives. Life would be joyous if we could stay in that moment. Sometimes I force myself to stop thinking, stop and just listen. Try it sometime when you’re in a beautiful place (anywhere in fact, but especially a beautiful place). All the sounds, and sights invade me and lift me up. It’s amazing how much we miss.
Thank you, I am reminded that life is really short, and that without the present moment, we really don’t have much. I appreciated how I was reminded to enjoy my life as much as possible, and thank you for reminding me that being mindful is honoring life.
Namaste
Very moving! Thank you.
Thanks so much Faye!
Namaste
Thanks Kathleen!
This is a good reminder for us to live life to the fullest; cherish the times we have with our loved ones and friends; be grateful for what we have and learn to be more compassionate to others who are less fortunate than us. We never know what the future holds for us, therefore being in the presence is what we have that is reassuring that all is well.
Well articulated. It is funny how most of us don’t acknowledge how mortal we really are. Not only do we plow through life not enjoying the sweetest simplest things, but it is also an excuse to procrastinate. I’ll do that later, or tomorrow or when I have money or time. It stops us from working towards and living out our dreams and goals. Thank-you for sharing.
Thanks for the post, Roger. It brought tears to my eyes.
The first grandchild’s birthday and a 82 yr old mother who needs nearly as much care. Somehow, the job and house and car and all the “things” that make up our life don’t seem to matter so much. Being with those two people and sharing the moments of each day, unlimited in one case and numbered in the second, are the real priority in my life.
Thank you Adida, well said!
So true, not only sometimes do we miss the moment, we also sometimes choose to ignore the moment. Thanks for the comment!
Thanks Tana, that means so much to me that it meant that much to you!
Good for you, you have it right. Everyone likes nice things, but at the end if the day, they aren’t what it’s about. The “little things” add up to so much more Thanks for the comment!
Thank you Roger, this brought me much awareness and reminded me to get out of my head. Namaste.
I heard this story too (and I’m struggling to remember where! Was it on This American Life??). Anyway, I was also struck by what the guy said about that first night in the bed being the best. I feel like that every weekend. Friday nights and Saturday mornings are glorious, but with each hour that passes I’m reminded that it’ll soon be Monday morning again and I’ll be back at work. And that’s no way to live…
You’re so welcome, thanks for reading!
Namaste
Hi Rebecca, yes it was “This American Life”. A few years ago I used to travel for a living. It was really hard for me and I missed my home/family. When I would leave for home on a Thursday night I would be on top of the world. By Saturday afternoon I was miserable knowing I had to go back on the road again on Monday. I finally realized I was missing half my precious time at home being upset about going back. This is so similar to this story, worrying about the fact that there are only 15 days left instead of 16. Finally I said my choices are to live now, really focus on being present and enjoy my limited time at home, or continue to “give up” half my time at home. It became an easy choice, but took some practice. Eventually, I found a new position without travel, but I found other ways to apply that lesson. Hang in there, focus on being present. Find the strength and courage in yourself, you’ll find a better situation that will make you happier. Thanks so much for reading!
Right now I’m having a wonderful time with some friends, and your post reminded me to appreciate each and every moment. We have an idea about how much more time we have to enjoy and have fun. The thing is, that life can change for us when we least expect it to. When people are in pain and have been on the streets for whatever reason, a warm bed can be the first thing they are grateful for. Thank you for your enjoyable post.
You are so right. Thanks so much for reading!
Thank you for this lovely story. It really struck a chord with me. Namaste
Thank you so much for this lovely story. After living in Africa where for a whole year I had the wonderful opportunity to be rather than do, I am now back in the West and doing my best to savour every moment, and not get caught up in the busy-ness of every day life. I too have started writing about it as it is such an important lesson for me and so many others in this all consuming world of ours, that encourages us to “kill” time or “kill two birds with one stone”. By slowing down and finding moments of beauty and wonder in every day things, we can all appreciate our wonderful world and precious lives in a different way. Namaste 🙂
Thank you Rae-Anne! You are right we are all do distracted, and becoming moreso. But we can choose to stop and take a moment is we want to. Thanks again!
I love life! Whenever I get ‘oversaturated’ with good/bad feelings I just remind myself, “Hey, it’s better that you feel this way than to feel nothing at all!” Then suddenly I feel okay. Not filled with special bliss, just content with that tiniest truth. Thanks for the good read 🙂
I’ve got a year and a half left of university. Today I was studying hard for a test tomorrow that I’m probably going to fail, stayed on campus till late with a wonderful group of friends. And I realized that will probably be one of my good memories from university… because I was with friends and I don’t take that for granted.
so true. i worry so much i forget to live in the present!
I visited my parents this weekend in NYC…my Dad was trying to rush me down the street to get to the next tourist attraction, I told him what are you in such a rush for?! I wanted to take in every block slowly, see every site, smell, sound (though not always pleasant ..lol!) and I think he was able to see his amazing city with fresh eyes realizing if you are always in such a rush , you miss out on the experience and being in any given moment. It was an amazing trip I will be ever grateful for and made certain I was mindful to be in every moment of it!