How to Stop Shaming and Start Loving Yourself

Thanks for taking the time to read my post and especially for honoring your weird self! 🙂

An overall good article. However, suggesting a teacher would tell a child ” don’t be silly, you can’t do it; you’ll mess everything up” is a bit of a stretch: this sort of nonsense in reference to teachers , as if such occurrences are common, likely, or a norm, needs to stop. My experience of teachers is that the vast majority care, and do extremely challenging jobs with grace and generosity. Such comments are offensive and seem like the equivalent of malice to me. Comments like that are far more likely to come from people who are careless parents than a professional like a teacher. And I’m speaking from experience as a parent of an extremely challenging child, who went through the school system with all the nurturing and sensitivity from teachers that could be desired. My own family was intolerant and dismissive; not his teachers. Smarten up people. Have the grace to respect these professionals that care for so many different needs in children, while still teaching an educational curriculum.

You’re welcome. I’m so glad.

Cheers to your kindergarten teacher who knows there’s more fun to life than playing outside. Ha! I like the point you made about trying to be someone else: “When you stop pouring energy into being someone you’re not, you have more time and energy to be who you are.” That seems so hard to do sometimes, yet, so necessary for reducing stress and self-criticism. This was nice to read.

Thanks Nicole. 🙂

Whao! what a wonderful piece. am highly elevated and blessed. You have really bring me back on track.

hi Mia, I don’t think Pam was suggesting or advising any teacher to do this. And I don’t think her intent was to stereotype all teachers. I think she was using an example of over-bearing teachers that some of us might have had in our lives. Some of us have had over-bearing teachers, some parents and some of us, other adults in our lives, who contributed to that negative talk that took root in our mind that still sabotages us today.

I love the analogy of snowflakes. Each is beautiful and entirely unique with no need for comparison to other snowflakes.

Definitely agree about listening to your inner compass and being more patient with yourself. The world is harsh enough without us needing to beat ourselves up about every small thing. It’s gratifying and deeply fulfilling to be kind to yourself and to others.

Awesome article, Pam! I really relate to the 5-year-old you that wanted to stay inside at recess. I was and am the same way. I finally learned over the past few years my “sensitivity” is a gift 🙂 I am so happy to see someone else writing about this. I am also really grateful because my 6-year-old is also highly empathic and now we know how to handle it. She also goes to a school for gifted children where one of the characteristics is “sensitivity” and empathy and they understand it and encourage it!

What a wonderful article! Thank you so much as because of my easy going nature and sweet disposition people have always taken advantage of me and put me down to make themselves feel better!
Funny thing is my little Jack Russell Winston is just like me!

Awesome! Thanks Jaime.

Thank you Pam for your Candid Statements. It helps to know more and more people are like me with faults and failures.

Yes. Most of us good natured. Being Very Good and Very bad are few and far in between.

Thanks very much for your reply. I see part of what you’re saying. not sure what the first sentence means, though. The part about correcting behavior makes sense. But some just keep stumbling and can’t seem to get it together no matter how hard they try. Hard to know how to make someone feel better who seems to be unable to shine in anything. Challenging.

Your post was an answer to my prayer regarding a relationship question and what should I do, if anything. I had prayed over 3 days for a sign that I could clearly interpret. After not receiving any, I intuitively knew I had the answer, which was to do ‘nothing.’ Last night, I again asked for Divine guidance to be certain I was understanding the ‘do nothing’ answer (which of course, I did not want to be the answer). This morning I received it through you and another sign. Thank you so much for this post, and being an instrument of clarification for me.

Being judged SUCKS!! It doesn’t feel good to be the center of someone’s ridicule. There’s nothing with being different. Unfortunately, some people can’t accept that. From my observations, it’s based on insecurities.

My ex-best friend from high school didn’t want to be my friend anymore, since I was an embarrassment to her. Image was EVERYTHING, according to her so-called “standards.” She was mistreating me so badly, to where I started questioning my loyalty. She wrote the most nastiest and cruel letter to me, talking about my appearance. I felt so disgusted and humiliated that I almost got into a physical confrontation, while she was shedding those crocodile tears. Everyone was on my side. I had to be excused to speak to a counselor about my options, and decided that I couldn’t be friends with this girl anymore. Friendships shouldn’t have to be based on image. I have NO REASON to be ashamed of my appearance. Worse of all, I couldn’t find it in my heart to forgive her. This all happened fifteen years ago.

I’m comfortable in my own skin, despite the objections. I could careless what others have to say about me. Friendships are voluntary, and I’m NOT obligated to be someone’s friend, whatever the reasons.

Thank you, Pam for sharing your experience.