“Make the most of yourself, because thatās all there is of you.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Twelve years ago, my husband and I were preparing to adopt our son. As part of the process we were required to take parenting classes.
One of the classes was about taking care of ourselves so that we could take care of others. Given the difficult journey that parenting can be, the instructor encouraged us to ārefill our glass.ā
Honestly, I couldnāt relate to what he meant. I was young and excited about having a family. Silently I dismissed his suggestion that parenting or anything in my life, for that matter, would challenge me so much that I would need to ārefill my glass.ā
Eventually I figured out what he meantāand it isnāt just for parents. All of us need to refill our glass so that we can live happy and fulfilling lives.
Refilling my glass is taking those mindful, deliberate actions to improve my mental state and attitudeāto lift myself up so that I can continue on a positive path with energy and good intention. I found that by refilling my glass, I could be happy despite the ups and downs that life presents.
Sometimes itās hard to take the time to figure what we need and why. And itās easy to feel like a victim. Ā
In fact, there have been times in my life it when I have preferred to be a victim to my circumstances. When that happens my glass is dry. Thanks to my husband, friends, and websites like Tiny Buddha, Iāve learned how much I can benefit by making the effort to refill my glass.
Iād like to share some simple ideas that helped me:
Watch.
When I was dealing with a lot stress last year, I felt down and lacked energy. I was going through life in a robotic way. No excitement, no fulfillment. While I didnāt know it, this was a sign that my glass needed refilling.
Over time, I thought about my situation and what solutions could help reduce my stress and reengage my creative energetic self. Eventually I honed in on what was really going on with me: I needed to enliven my life with new interestāsomething that was for me and challenged me in new ways.
For you, your stress might be the bills to be paid, the laundry that needs to be done, or the challenge of eating healthy. But once you know whatās draining your glass, you can look for ways to address it. Be proactive in your efforts to get to the root of the issue and then begin refilling your glass.
Learn.
After I understood that my glass was bone dry, I looked for ways to refill it drop by drop. I tried things out to see what worked and what didnāt. Itās different for everyone. While Iāve always liked to exercise, it wasnāt until I tried an intense āboot campā that I figured out how exercise can really improve my mood.
Before boot camp I was a half-hearted exerciser at best, but when I found something that really clicked, I felt so much better. Eventually I recognized this activity could refill my glass every day. No matter how tired I am or how much I donāt want to workout at 5:15 am, I am recharged after every class or run.
It was at this point I made a lifelong commitment to my personal health. For you, refilling your glass might be spending time with a friend, browsing the shelves at the bookstore, or making time for a cup of coffee at a coffee shop.
Once you find your āthing,ā go to it to refill your glass. You will know it when you find it: the stress in your life becomes more manageable and your energy levels and mood lift.
Evolve.
While I still love boot camp, Iāve found over the past year that I needed to add some new things into my life to help me refill my glass. So exactly one year ago, I started writing short story fiction. A few friends encouraged me. I found a great writing coach and since then Iāve written nearly every day.
Itās not always good, but itās mine, and Iām proud of my creations. Ā My first short story was published last summer. A year ago, I wouldnāt have dreamed that I would be a published author. More importantly, spending time on the āpageā is one of the best ways I can refill my glass. But itās not the only way.
Sometimes itās reading the stories of how others have made improvements in their lives or itās going to see live music at the local bar. Itās definitely spending Sunday mornings with my husband, just the two of us, at the local coffee shop.
Being resourceful and mindful of where you are and what you need is key. We arenāt the same people every day, and the efforts we take to help ourselves recharge in todayās hectic lives is different every day too.
Today our son is 13, and we couldnāt be more proud. Bright, talented, and fun, he is everything and more than we dreamed. And despite the stresses that come with parenting a teenager, helping my husband through college, and managing a very fulltime job, Iāve thrived.
Iāve learned so much about myself and found a few hidden talents. Iām gratified that by refilling my glass, Iāve met so many people who have helped me develop and grow. I see my future opening up in unexpected ways.
At some point in all the turmoil of my life, I heard that long ago teacher tell me that I needed to ārefill my glass.ā Today it makes so much sense.
Have you refilled your glass lately?
Photo by Cissa Ferreira
About Gretchen Knox
Gretchen Knox is a writer and leader of global corporate communications for a Fortune 500 company. In 2011 she decided to follow her writing dream. You can read her work at gretchenknox.com.