“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” ~Albert Einstein
Just when you think you have the whole living in the moment thing down, a four-year-old comes along and shows you how it’s done.
I’ve been working hard on this, actually, keeping a gratitude journal and everything. I was feeling pretty good about my progress yesterday when I decided to take said four-year-old on a walk rather than rushing through the to-do list burning a hole in the back of my mind.
“I’m going to be totally present,” I reminded myself as we headed out. I took deep breath and said a silent thanks for the beautiful day.
Like I said, I was feeling pretty proud of my progress. Then my daughter blew me away. She schooled me in everything I have been working so hard on, and she wasn’t even trying.
Her commentary on the walk went exactly like this:
Ohhhhhh, what an amazing house!
What an amazing garbage can!
Oh wow, what a wonderful tree!
Look at the rocks!
I hear a bird!
I hear a wind chime!
Mom, do you hear that dog? It’s perfect!
I hear a truck!
Do you feel the wind? It is so soft!
Look at the beautiful cactus,
Look! Two trucks.
She was so amazed by things that I never notice or worse, complain about.
Now, I wasn’t completely unaware. I was thankful for another spring day before the summer heat, and I was enjoying this rare one-on-one time with her.
But I had no idea that the neighbors had wind chimes. I have never looked at a garbage can and called it amazing (at least not since I was four). This perfect dog is the same one that I complain about to my husband. The wind was messing up my hair.
There were at least a thousand other concerns competing for my attention while she was content to watch ants on the sidewalk.
Sometimes I wish I could be a little more like her.
She didn’t care if I sent out that attachment with that email. She didn’t care about how many calories we burned on our walk. She didn’t mind that her clothes didn’t match because she picked out exactly what she likes.
I was not going to let this fade from my memory to be overtaken by another thousand concerns.
“Be amazed,” I thought.
I repeated it to myself the way you do a telephone number.
“Be amazed,” I scrawled as fast as I could on the first piece of paper I found when we got home.
Be amazed.
I set a reminder in my calendar. I made a post-it. I wrote it down in my journal.
Be amazed.
I don’t want to forget this feeling. This absolute clarity.
My mind can be the most hardened criminal against my own happiness. It snatches the joy right out of my hands. It confuses busy with important, urgent with significant, and difficulty with meaning.
My mind gives the future and the past too much space. It wanders over to what the neighbors are doing. It reminds me of what I have yet to accomplish. It wants to speed up time, and it plows right through those moments to be amazed by.
With this clarity also came sadness. My heart broke for the lost opportunities to just be and appreciate.
I guess that’s the bittersweet part of life. You can’t wait until this one tough part is over, but then it’s gone and you can’t go back. There’s a new stage to take its place, and the cycle continues.
Soon, you find yourself telling wide-eyed new parents and self-conscious teenagers (and basically anyone in one of those stages that you wanted to rush through when you were there) that these are the best years.
“Enjoy this while you can. It goes so fast,” you say.
Be amazed.
Looking back, the times that I once wished would pass by quickly actually turned out to be the hardest to let go. I could scold myself for this, or I could remember to be amazed now.
One way or another, time marches on. Old becomes new, new becomes old, and you get another chance to be amazed.
Each new stage is also another chance to be nice to yourself about the whole thing. It isn’t humanly possible to love every second of life while it’s happening. Even four-year-olds aren’t amazed all the time.
This little walk with my four-year-old reminded me that even the simple things are amazing, and the things I complain about? They’re life, and they’re doable. Sure, life now is different from life pre-kids (and pre-husband), I’m doing different things than my friends, and maybe my life doesn’t measure up to someone else’s definition of amazing.
So what?
I can be amazed anyway.
Be amazed.
Starting now, these two words will be a compass guiding me when it feels like I don’t have it all together. They will remind me what direction I want to go even when I feel completely lost.
Be amazed. Take a step back and look at your life with gratitude every now and then.
Be amazed. Squeeze every last ounce of goodness out of what is around you. Savor it. Soak it up. Luxuriate in it.
Be amazed. When you’re burned out, bone weary, and bedraggled, use amazement to fill yourself back up. Seek out those situations, people, and activities that remind you of what it means and how it feels to be amazed.
And those painful parts? You know, the ones that really, really hurt. The ones you barely survive. Maybe there’s a little room for amazement there, too.
Amazement when you make it to the other side.
Amazement for how much the heart can hold.
Amazement for your resilience, your ability to heal, and your capacity to keep loving and hoping.
Be amazed by your spirit. Your tenacity. Be amazed by that part of you that refuses to give up.
You only get one shot at life, and you don’t have a whole lot of control over what happens to you in it. Take advantage of the choices that you do have.
I will choose to be amazed.
About Leslie Ralph
Leslie is a psychologist, writer, and artist on a mission to make the world a brighter place. She creates things for people who want to bring the light back into their lives and love themselves unconditionally. She’s the author of How to Have Your Back: Simple Instructions for Loving Yourself Through the Ups and Downs of Life. Download her free ritual for releasing and receiving to let go and create space for more clarity, courage, and compassion in your life.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Thank you so much for writing this. We have so much to learn from the young and the young at heart. It makes me sad when people dismiss children as “young” or “inexperienced” when really they are our greatest teachers!
Agreed! I think they are the best teachers about true joy and remembering what is really important.
Ms. Ralph,
Hi!
I’ve always been confused with this “living the moment,” thing and your article, though beautifully written made it even worse.
Does living the moment mean we have to be amazed at everything we see even if they are not? Isn’t that delusional?
To be grateful for everything that comes our way is nice, but not to see the imperfections around us, i think, is being blind to the realities of life.
Hi Joseph,
Thanks for your comment. I agree that this can be a challenging and definitely not a topic that can be adequately covered in an 1100 word blog post.
What I was trying to convey here is my realization that there is so much beauty in my life that I personally do not see when I am worrying about the future, ruminating about the past, or pointing out all of the things that aren’t perfect. I could have very easily stressed myself out about any number of things and completely missed the opportunity to really be present with my daughter. This post was about a tiny moment of clarity where I really felt like I “got it.” I didn’t want to forget this feeling because it is a welcome change from being stuck in my head, hence repeating “be amazed.” At the very least, I do not want to miss out on these moments with my children because I’m worried about something that happened at work that I can’t do anything about at home.
As I mention in the article, we can’t be amazed all the time. It is also true that there are imperfections around us. I think that living in the moment means accepting that there will be imperfections. What we often do with imperfections is try to force them away, reject them, deny them, or hold on to our thoughts about the way things “should” be. We do this whether we have any control over them or not.
None of that is bad, by the way, it’s human nature. It just gets us into trouble when we get stuck there – especially when it’s something that is beyond our control. This is the Buddhist concept of pain in life is inevitable, suffering is optional. We cannot choose whether or not painful thing happen to us. BUT we can choose how much pain we heap on top of them by how we deal with them.
Yes, life can be very painful, and I myself have faced some very painful parts of life. Those very painful parts have also been some of the biggest influences on my personal growth, even when they aren’t completely healed.
I will also add here that gratitude and optimism have some pretty robust findings in positive psychology research. Again, perhaps beyond the scope of a personal essay or a comment 🙂
I am sorry that this article made you more confused about living in the moment. This was certainly not my intention. Not every article is going to resonate with you, and that’s fine. I hope that you do find something on Tiny Buddha or elsewhere that is helpful to you.
Thank you so much for sharing. Very insightful and relatable. I have a 2 year old at home with me full time. While I yearn for contribution and connection in my career, you have reminded me to take a step back and reframe my perspective in any give moment – so to fully take it all in, and learn from these experiences. Thank you!