“If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” ~Oprah Winfrey
Seven years ago I discovered a world of healing, energy, and spirituality. It came at a particularly hard time in my life. Everything that could go wrong seemed to have.
First, I picked up a bug while travelling, which left me unable to hold down food for over eight weeks, and doctors told me there was nothing more they could do.
Then, there were secondary infections, which I learned I might have to live with for life.
I was being bullied at work and then walked away from my friends. Both of these experiences were extremely stressful and a great source of pain. Then, two weeks after moving to a new country to start afresh, one of my best friends died suddenly.
The first twenty-five carefree years of my life exploded in my face, and confusion set in.
In a desperate quest to find answers, happiness, and peace again I went searching, and what an awesome world I found!
It started with discovering kinesiology and developed into a learning of healing foods, chakras, and energy healing. Yoga and meditation followed, along with personal development seminars and stacks of self-development books.
And all for a good reason—each of these disciplines was quite literally changing my life.
One by one, they helped me unravel subconscious layers from the past and release old stagnant energy, emotions, and beliefs that were no longer needed.
For example, if I felt angry and frustrated from work, I would pop in for a kinesiology session and walk away upbeat and happy. If I got upset after an argument with my husband, I’d run off to heal the part of me that was causing this to arise, and skip home loving and free.
To say these quick fixes became addictive would be an understatement.
Then, over the last year I kept getting the same lines repeated to me over and over again. Healers telling me my work with them “was done,” my kinesiologist telling me I’d “got it” a while ago now, and friends reflecting left, right, and center that “I’m there.”
The problem was that I could not see it. Surely there is no final destination, and besides, there were still so many things to fix. I didn’t feel “there.”
My addiction to fixing myself had kicked in. Even though I know we are all human and will never be perfect, I felt the need to keep on clearing as much of the imperfect away until I got “there.”
But “there” was not coming, at least not in my eyes, and frustration started building. I believe this addiction formed due to a deeply hidden belief that I was not fundamentally good enough.
I thought that if I healed enough, sooner or later I would be “fixed.” I would be good enough—but I was missing the truth, the truth that we are always good enough exactly as we are.
We will all encounter lessons as we walk through life and, of course, healing can help us move through these, but fundamentally, we are always already good enough. This part I was slow to grasp.
Along this journey I had walked away from a career in advertising to follow my passion for nutrition, leveraging all I had learned to become a coach. What I didn’t see coming was the second cousin to “healing” and the old pattern formed under the guise of “business development.”
All of a sudden I would never be a success unless I had mastered a zillion courses on marketing, sales, coaching, webinars, and list building.
No matter what I did I couldn’t hold on to the money I was making—so I looped back into the healing world looking for answers to my money blocks.
Then came the clincher: My income dramatically increased—and, you guessed it, I still spent every cent each month on the next skill I needed to learn or block I needed to clear.
At the same time I noticed I was getting angry with healers and “experts,” as they repeatedly told me what I already knew.
Something wasn’t adding up any longer. Luckily, the person I turned to for advice supported me to process the most amazing realization for myself:
I discovered that I had been through an intense period of learning, that over the last seven years I had been absorbing “universe lessons.”
It was time to step out of the Universe-ity classroom and start truly living all that I had learned. And with so much knowledge under my belt, it was also time to pass it on to others.
It’s not that we will ever stop learning—it’s just that we have to start using the tools in our everyday lives, as opposed to conducting an ongoing search to fix ourselves.
Through my journey, I have learned that it is common for us to get these lessons in the spiritual realm, but not bring them to life in the physical world.
At some stage along the path I had started focusing on what was still “broken” instead of how amazing things had become.
I was so blinded by this thought pattern that I was unable to receive the joy and pleasure already surrounding me.
By shifting from the energy of “not enough yet” to realizing I already am, I’ve found the peace to step forward and apply all that I’ve learned, and inspire others to do the same.
I now know that I am already so much more than “enough,” and it’s now time to graduate from Universe-ity!
So I invite you to check in on your own motive for healing. Are you desperately trying to fix a part of you that you deem wrong, shameful, or bad? Or, can you accept that you are already perfect exactly as you are now, shadow and all, even if you still have room to grow?
Are you ready to relax and let your journey unfold exactly as it is supposed to?
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About Amanda Daley
Amanda Daley is a business mentor for health coaches. After going from burnt-out advertising executive to thriving health coach, Amanda now uses her marketing expertise + coaching mojo to help other wellness entrepreneurs get clients and build successful businesses. Visit her at upswingmastermind.com and amandajanedaley.com or on Facebook at facebook.com/groups/healthywealthysociety.
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I recently went through a number of difficult circumstances in my life. And a moment of realization arose. Yes, we need to constantly be improving ourselves. But if we don’t spend time to see what we are already accomplishing, it becomes a life of striving instead of arriving. And it has been my experience that this enlightened mindset helps all of the “stressful” situations in life simply become obstacles that must be navigated; nothing more, nothing less. We are already perfect in our existence with The Way. So the idea of good and bad becomes secondary to this sense of profound and eternal wholeness.
Thank you for the inspiration. Namaste.
Great post!
If some teacher is telling you that the work is done there’s probably something wrong.
Wonderfully encouraging, Amanda… thank you for sharing your story! You definitely remind me to focus on what is right and in my Now. xo
I agree Jacob – our work is never done – that’s part of being Human! It was a shift in perception I needed to make from hearing that I guess, which in turn opened up to the next layer of lessons.
Thanks Rich – I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
Wonderful post thank you for sharing xxx
I agree Jacob – our work is never done – that’s part of being Human! It was a shift in perception I needed to make from hearing that I guess, which in turn opened up to the next layer of lessons.
Thank you for that Will. I totally agree. Isn’t it strange/great how sometimes the best realisations come from the most difficult of circumstances.
I agree Jacob! In some ways I think I was probably wishing that’s what they were saying – ha. The shift in perception was in fact the best gift that came from hearing that.
Thanks Shannon, sometimes it’s so much easier said than done to focus on what is good in the present moment isn’t it? Keep up the great awareness xx
Thank you Jessica xx
This is a fantastic post and I can relate totally having just realised myself I know and love all the concepts of a healthy, happy, abundant life and I am addicted to beautiful affirmations and quotes about the same but I’m not actually living it. Not really sure where to start but like you, I’m letting go of the need to keep learning and fixing and going to start focussing on being. xo
Fantastic Feebee. It’s all a great learning experiment isn’t it. xxx
what an amazing article!! I feel like I’m at the start of some of that journey, so I hope I can realise when I’m ‘there’ but also be kind to myself along this journey – it’s all happening for a reason, right? xx
It’s all one journey Sam. There really is no ‘there’ – but for me it was an understanding of being ok with that. Stopping searching for the magical outcome, and instead realising that it is all perfect wherever we are. ‘just starting’ is the perfect place to be – huge congrats for taking those first steps xxx
This is such a great reminder to not just read copies amounts of personal development and attend umpteen development courses but to apply what you have learned and acknowledge the changes you have made in your life. Thanks Amanda!
Great post, Amanda. Although I still have some clearing to do, I am conscious not to think of myself as broken – that I need to be fixed – & you have explained so beautifully why this is so important. Thank you xx
Beautiful post Amanda. I especially love this line: “It was time to step out of the Universe-ity classroom and start truly living all that I had learned” – thank you for sharing xxx
Thanks Amy xxx
Yes Jennie, it’s more of a mindset in how we look at it all isn’t it? I’m glad you enjoyed the post xxx
Fiona, someone recently gave me a challenge to replace all personal development books from my bookshelf with representations of my dream life instead. Books on Paris, Great food (not diet books) and Art. Isn’t that a cool symbolic way to live NOW? xx
Beautiful and so insightful Amanda. I think it might be time for me to graduate from the Universe-ity too 😉
gorgeous gorgeous post – love your writing Amanda and a terrific life lesson too x K
Great article Amanda. I too feel that sometimes we go from one thing to another trying to be more and do more but you are right, we are enough. We have to start living and stop thinking we need fixing. This is especially true to people who are self aware and are go getters or more spiritually inclined. We love to work on ourselves, which is great but there is also a time when we have to truely get that we are perfectly ok just as we are.
Thanks Lyn – yes totally agree. xx
Thank you Kylie – I’m glad you enjoyed the post xx
It’s a great concept isn’t in Helena?! It’s not a matter of ever ‘getting there’, but rather letting go of one phase and moving on to the next 😉 x
I loved this post Amanda, I admit I’m also an inner work and PD addict. I kind of don’t want to give it up mind you! But I think there’s benefit to knowing when you just need to believe in yourself and not look outside for help.
In our toughest times putting on a brave face seems so hard. But in the end we must learn to be strong with all the craziness going on. Great port!!! xoxo
So true Three Girls One Apple x
Thanks Kat – totally – it’s finding that balance isn’t it?! xx
I just randomly came across this post, and it came to me like almost like it was a sign from the heavens. I cannot stress enough how much this post has inspired me today, after years of trying to become more spiritual, more “in-tune”, and being dissatisfied with myself because I was not “there”. Your post has revealed something about this search I’ve been a part of, that it was just my attempt to fix something that was never really broken. It reminds me of the song–“No Earthly Good”–sung by Johnny Cash where he sings: “You’re so heavenly minded you’re no earthly good.”
Beautiful post Amanda. “By shifting from the energy of “not enough yet” to realizing I already am, I’ve found the peace to step forward and apply all that I’ve learned, and inspire others to do the same” particularly resonates with me.
xx
This post came at a great time! I’ve actually been contemplating many of the points you raised recently. Think you for sharing, it’s given me some clarity
This is such an awesome post Amanda. We do tend to focus on what we’re missing out on or that we don’t have enough but if you truly take the time to stop and reflect, we are enough. xx
Love this! Thank you for sharing such a personal, open-hearted story xxx
i completely agree with the message your getting across. In fact, I myself have been on a “thirst for perfection”, to a point that it somewhat left me in circles, and became self destructive rather self loving–which, came from a misunderstood intent. Some things are just perfect as they are….period. However, some things can be fine tuned, and if not, definitely unconditionally loved, from within first.
~infinite love, All ways