Update: The winners have already been chosen for this giveaway. Subscribe to the Tiny Buddha List to learn about future contests!
Last week, I received an email from the marketing team at Shambhala Publications informing me about the upcoming “Smile-at-Fear” retreat, to be hosted by Pema Chödrön.
This three-day event, focused on wisdom from Pema’s teacher, Chögyam Trungpa, will take place in Richmond, California from October 15–17. Since Pema rarely hosts events of this nature, it sold out pretty quickly, but there’s still a chance to learn what she has to share.
Shambhala Publishing has decided to bring the retreat to the virtual world so anyone can learn to develop a fearless heart. The online event includes:
- Full access to the three-day event in real time, via live-streaming video feed
- On-demand video access available for sixty days after the event ends
- An edited video download available after the retreat
- A discount coupon for 30% off the DVD edition
- An e-book of Chögyam Trungpa’s Smile at Fear, the book on which the program is based (available as ePub, PDF, mobi)
Though the virtual event costs $59.95, I was fortunate enough to receive forty free tickets, and I’d like to give them away to you!
Last week, I sent a newsletter to Tiny Buddha subscribers, giving them the first chance to enter this giveaway. If you already responded to the newsletter, feel free to enter a second time—one of the perks of being on the list! If you didn’t receive the newsletter, you can still be part of the drawing.
How to Enter to Pema Chodron Giveaway
- Comment on this post, answering the question, “How do you let go of fear?”
- Tweet RT @tinybuddha Pema Chodron Retreat Giveaway – comment to enter! http://bit.ly/d16c1x
You can enter until midnight on Friday, October 8th. I will contact all forty winners early next week, and then send your email address to Shambhala Publishing so they can give you access to the event.
To learn more about the event, click here. To view the event schedule, click here.
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
When i am afraid i move through my fears by facing them one at a time
When it comes down to the moment I usually end up just doing it because that is the type of person I seem to be (unless it involves dark, scary places or free-falling jumps, then I am crying in a corner). However, the mental stress I put myself through before the actual event is much worse than the event itself. I saw a necklace that said ‘freedom’ on it and wear it to remind myself that I have the choice to be fearful or to be free from fear. It doesn’t always work but it helps.
I agree with cloggieintraining – I have found the only way to deal with fear is to just get on and do it. Otherwise, if you let it win it will just keep coming right back for a rematch.
To try to let go of fear in most situations, I imagine the worst case scenario of what I think could happen. Then I figure out how I would handle that scenario. Once I feel confident that I can handle the worst that may come, my fear usually dissipates.
Although not very zen, I give my fears to God and trust in Him. As soon as I quit trying to control my situation, my fears evaporate and I am free to just be.
Dealing with fear is an incredibly tricky thing, and I agree with all of the comments before mine. There are some fears which we simply must deal with to get over them, like fear of rejection or fear of failure. I also believe, however, there are deeper fears which sometimes a single action won’t get rid of, such as fearing inadequacy or fearing that one will never be loved. For fears like that, I believe it is important to recognize a few things: 1) speaking in absolutes. If we fear we will “never be loved,” well, “never” is a very long time. So long that no one actually knows it exists. No one has experienced “never” because it is an absolute, like “always” or “eternally,” which are all things which cannot be proven or quantified, just conceived. So avoiding the idea of any one thing lasting “forever” is a good way around fear. 2) Letting Go: often time our fears come from past events or some negative history we have in our lives. If we let those influence our present day attitudes, we severely limit ourselves in our capacity to function fully and presently in the moment. It is important to recognize what it might be that is causing our fear, understand that it (most likely) isn’t happening any more, and that we must let go of that past moment to more fully embrace the present one.
I recognize that I’m writing this all as if it were easy, but I know it isn’t. Fighting fear is a terribly hard thing to do because fear has so many layers and we’re all so complex. In my opinion, just breathing and remembering that no matter what the fear is (unless it puts us in the way of bodily harm) deep down inside “I am OK,” and remembering that despite the fear, my life also consists of so much beauty helps me keep a more even keel on a rocky sea.
Dealing with fear is an incredibly tricky thing, and I agree with all of the comments before mine. There are some fears which we simply must deal with to get over them, like fear of rejection or fear of failure. I also believe, however, there are deeper fears which sometimes a single action won’t get rid of, such as fearing inadequacy or fearing that one will never be loved. For fears like that, I believe it is important to recognize a few things: 1) speaking in absolutes. If we fear we will “never be loved,” well, “never” is a very long time. So long that no one actually knows it exists. No one has experienced “never” because it is an absolute, like “always” or “eternally,” which are all things which cannot be proven or quantified, just conceived. So avoiding the idea of any one thing lasting “forever” is a good way around fear. 2) Letting Go: often time our fears come from past events or some negative history we have in our lives. If we let those influence our present day attitudes, we severely limit ourselves in our capacity to function fully and presently in the moment. It is important to recognize what it might be that is causing our fear, understand that it (most likely) isn’t happening any more, and that we must let go of that past moment to more fully embrace the present one.
I recognize that I’m writing this all as if it were easy, but I know it isn’t. Fighting fear is a terribly hard thing to do because fear has so many layers and we’re all so complex. In my opinion, just breathing and remembering that no matter what the fear is (unless it puts us in the way of bodily harm) deep down inside “I am OK,” and remembering that despite the fear, my life also consists of so much beauty helps me keep a more even keel on a rocky sea.
I would love the opportunity to attend this virtual retreat!
To let go of fear I go to silence. Most of my days are spent in conversation, with others, with my head, etc. What makes the biggest difference is to go to that silent place and listen from there.
Letting go of fear is difficult, but necessary. I look past the fear at the outcome of my efforts, or the activity. I look back and pull from confidence gained by other activities or efforts. I breathe deep and exhale my physical feelings of fear, I relax my breathing, I clear any tightness I have and i take the first step without looking back.
Simply realize that we are physically here, in this shell, at this time for a limited time and that wasting another single moment, single breath, single thought on unlikely and unpleasant constructions of thought is a supreme waste of this precious gift.
Love
Live
Heck
gavin.heck@gmail.com
To let go of fear- BREATHE DEEP.
Thank you for the opportunity; I love Pema Chodron because she is able to make the message she brings accessible to anyone. Smiling at fear is a message I’d love to learn more about so that I can bring it to my clients. Thanks!
To let go fo fear, just stop for a moment, think about WHY somethign makes you affraid. 95% of the time there is no reason. The only true fear is the danger of loosing your life.
Fear is a common experience. At least for me, it is really anxiety caused by the contemplation of possible future events. I let go of fear by being in the present moment.
I let go of fear by sitting down to dinner with it, looking it right in the eye and never looking away.
I let go of fear by uncovering its source. Sometimes I can do this in a single journal-writing session – other times, it takes years of reflection via journaling, meditation and therapy. When I understand why something scares me, I can reframe it for myself, turning it into a more positive challenge, for example, or by recognizing that I need to be gentle with myself around a particular issue as I allow myself time to heal.
Pema’s writing and wisdom has helped me so much; I love her message and her teachings about Shenpa.
I let go of fear by not letting go at all, but accepting it as a natural and inescapable part of me. Instead of kicking it out, I try to embrace and accept it – observe it and work through it. Facing fear is the only way to keep it from eating you up inside.
I let go of fear by not letting go at all, but accepting it as a natural and inescapable part of me. Instead of kicking it out, I try to embrace and accept it – observe it and work through it. Facing fear is the only way to keep it from eating you up inside.
The way I let go of fear is by thinking about the statement, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” I grew up in a home with a mother who had been taught to fear by her mother. I reacted to this by becoming fearless and taking chances to prove I didn’t have to be afraid. This works for me most of the time.
The way I let go of fear is by thinking about the statement, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” I grew up in a home with a mother who had been taught to fear by her mother. I reacted to this by becoming fearless and taking chances to prove I didn’t have to be afraid. This works for me most of the time.
I let go of my fear by simply embracing it. I have found the more I try to run, the more tightly fear clings to me. So I hold my fear, looking at it, examining it, feeling it, and understand that these are my feelings for the moment and they is OK. In this way, I find I am eventually able to give words to what is frightening me and many times I am able to share it with one I trust.
So I hold this feeling, sometimes a bit too close, but eventually it helps me to make choices and take steps. After the first couple of wobbly steps, after I am feeling more sure of myself, I find I am releasing this fear and it has even transitioned into something else. Something far more peaceful.
I let go of my fear by simply embracing it. I have found the more I try to run, the more tightly fear clings to me. So I hold my fear, looking at it, examining it, feeling it, and understand that these are my feelings for the moment and they is OK. In this way, I find I am eventually able to give words to what is frightening me and many times I am able to share it with one I trust.
So I hold this feeling, sometimes a bit too close, but eventually it helps me to make choices and take steps. After the first couple of wobbly steps, after I am feeling more sure of myself, I find I am releasing this fear and it has even transitioned into something else. Something far more peaceful.
oops…my email is josephthesilent@yahoo.com~Mary
First of all, I applaud you for giving so generously to your readers. Studying Pema’s work over the past few months has dramatically improved my outlook on life. I would treasure the opportunity to hear her speak online.How do I let go of fear? Not always very well, to be honest. But when it does work, I first try to sit with the feeling, really go into it instead of running away or acting on it. Then I remind myself of three things: 1. Everything changes, so this is not a permanent thing I’m feeling. 2. Life is mostly suffering anyway, so expecting to not feel afraid right now is unreasonable and only adds another layer of pain. 3. Other people are feeling like this right now, too.Another thing that helps is to focus on someone else instead of myself. I have an intention of helping 10 people every day. We are all connected, though we often forget that.Thank you for asking this important question, and good luck choosing the winners from all these insightful comments!Alexandra (alexandra@curetogether.com)
Hrm, letting go of fear? I like to use Havi Brooks’ method of making friends with my fear. http://www.fluentself.com/blog/habits/dont-face-your-fear/ Even my most irrational fears pretty much always have SOME grounding in reality, and once I can figure out what the underlying worry is, I find I’m a lot less scared.
To let go of fears, I take a deep breathe and ask the universe to give me strength. Then face it. Not hide from it. The fears then has overcame, and it’s no longer a fear. Redo it when a ‘letting go of a fear’ situation comes up again.
I ask myself the question, “What are you afraid of?”
The answer to that is the beginning of the exploration of the beliefs behind the fear. ALL FEAR HAS AN OBJECT – figuring out specifically what that object is is the key.
Exploring your feelings around that, “She will leave me.” for example, might lead to the belief that if “she” left, I would be alone. And if that, then what? Do I really believe that I would be alone forever?
If I wanted to feel better about the end of a relationship, what beliefs might be good to hold to make that transition easier?
And on… and on.
I try to let go of fear by 1: Realize that I am fearful 2: Observing the fear, fearlessly.
Many fears come from our desire for things to stay the same. But impermanence is part of life, things are constantly in flux. I let go of fears by embracing change, knowing that with each fear conquered I grow!
PS – I just discovered Pema Chodron and I went to the same high school, although quite a time apart. Farmington girls! 🙂
How do i let go of fear? I open my eyes really wide and walk right into it.
I try to deal with fear by first acknowledging it and then just let it be – trying to resist fear just makes it worse.
fear is usually an escalating feeling for me. this will lead to that, and that will lead to who knows what… so what i try to do is stay in the moment. i’m here right now and have faith that whatever happens next is what is best for me.
Get over fear by facing up to what is worrying you.
I take a deep breath and relax, relax, relax, relax. I go through a thought process to think through what ever it is that I am scared of and the cause of the fear. Usually, I’ve made it much worse in my mind that it ever really is, and will it matter in 5 or 10 years…. this one moment that I was afraid of facing this one small thing? Let go. And breathe!!
I would love to attend!! So, I guess I go on the website? Or do I answer the question here? How do you let go of fear? I developed a mantra that I say over and over when I am in a position of fear, and I go and do the thing I am afraid of,head on! Since moving to the Sierra 3 1/2 years ago, I have had to go head on into many things that I feared, and it has taught me that this is the reason I am here, to become more…….
Meditating on impermenance helps me release fear.
Tools I use to to let go of fear: Noticing it from the observer position as an emotion I am feeling as opposed to something that is “me.” Sometimes I am able to do this in the moment other times seems to require more focus. At those times I meditate, give myself a Reiki, TAT and/or EFT session. It is wonderful to have tools with which to respond to fear. I also remember what good a friend told me: FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real.
What do I do to let go of fear? I haven’t figured out how to completely let go but I have figured out to become aware of the fearful feelings inside me as they arise and try to observe them. As I observe them and see what is causing my fear for what it really is and it helps me to respond instead of react ….. Til the next time and then I try to do the same thing again! 🙂
I am still working on being able to let go of fear, but I am making improvements. I tend to mentally jump ahead and picture all the disasterous outcomes (which does no good and just creates more stress) instead of being more positive and optimistic. I also need to stop trying to avoid scary and uncomfortable situations, and just give in/let go and trust that I am strong enough to handle anything. Many things are just out of my control after a certain point, and it does no good to fight against them.
How do I let go of Fear? I keep in mind that everything is exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment, and that nothing, absolutely nothing happens in this universe by mistake. Acceptance of the situation as it is. Although I try to live one day at a time, when I feel fear, I will think about the future in terms of “what’s the worst that can happen?” I keep in mind also, that if the worst did happen, I will be able to deal with it with the support of friends, family, and a higher power.
I breathe deeply and bring myself into the present moment. Most of my fears are about things that have not happened yet. Also, for fear of failure or making mistakes, I try to take my ego out of the equation and realize that I am not going to be damaged by failure.
Fears hold us back from our wildest dreams and adventures. Realizing that fear comes change and we must let go and let life happen. This is how our souls learn and grow. <3
When fear comes to my door, I simply state that I will not entertain it in my home.
I tend to let fear just roll through me – knowing that it will pass through and change into something else. (Of course that is on a good day when I am aware!) – Jacqueline
I let gop of fears by facing them, one at a time.
Thank You For Giving Away Yor Gift
I let go of fear by recognizing what I am afraid of, acknowledging it, and being honest about it.
When I realize that I am afraid of something (usually an unlikely future possibility or outcome), I try to break it down. 1) Of what am I afraid? 2) What’s the worst that could happen? 3) What would I do IF that happened ….as unlikely as it is
I think the realization that it’s all neurosis (and that even if the crazy thoughts did become reality, I would make it through with at least a good story under my belt & some more life experience) helps me to let go of the fear. I also generally find that these things that I fear are the things that I most need to tackle in some way.
Not even sure if this will make sense to anyone, but…that’s my answer. 🙂