“Never forget: This very moment, we can change our lives. There never was a moment, and never will be, when we are without the power to alter our destiny.” ~Steven Pressfield
Altering your life in the smallest or grandest way is so simple, but it requires you to do something you likely are already doing all of the time.
If you’ve ever wanted to take up a discipline, begin a new business, stop an addiction, or start anything new, it’s the same for all.
Any life change requires one simple action: you to decide.
Over five years ago, I knew in my heart I wanted a different work life, that a greater way of living a life of my dreams could be real for me if I could just take the leap.
I was afraid of not having the external security that came with that job of five years. But when I looked at my true dreams, and who I’d become not doing what I love, it wasn’t who I felt I was deep at heart.
Then it happened, I followed the feeling. I simply chose that enough was enough; I quit my job.
There is a rich and deep aliveness that comes from following your heart, in acting on what you love despite any limitations or fears of the unknown.
It’s what brings you closer to knowing who you are in your heart, and who I believe we all came to be in this life, dreamers willing to live their dream, not just know dreams exist.
When I finally decided, there was no more deliberation, or trying to think of all possible outcomes. I stopped thinking about it.
There are two types of fear: debilitating, poisonous, inaction fear, and an excitement fear that comes with taking inspired action. As soon as I decided, just an excited fear remained.
In a moment of true decision where you act on what you love, you experience a feeling of freedom and aliveness that overcomes fear.
Poisonous fear exists mostly in indecision, between knowing what you love and the perception that you’re unable to act on it.Perhaps that’s why it’s called “False Evidence Appearing Real.”
When you take action on what you love, whether you experience fear or not, you’ve decided with your whole being, what’s called a true decision; and it overcomes all else.
Often I hear people express a desire to do, or be something, and then they list the reasons why it’s not possible in their circumstances. But isn’t it true that possibility doesn’t become available to you until you decide to do it?
In my experience, what’s possible only becomes real once you decide on the inside and then act on what you feel outside.
If you’ve ever rented an apartment, bought a home, or booked a flight, you may know the power of decision. I’ve often heard people admit, “I didn’t know whether I could afford it then,” or, “I couldn’t afford it, but I did it anyway.”
How is it possible to not be able to afford something, but have or experience it anyway? You decided, and more than likely, somehow your life circumstances changed. Some people call those coincidences, miracles, or serendipity.
What’s meant to be is meant to be because you decide.
I don’t just mean deciding to put it on credit, although sometimes that is the way, I mean watching your circumstances change to reflect your decision. I’ve experienced watching my business increase or receiving an unexpected financial windfall right after making a decision. It happens differently every time.
A couple years ago I felt to move to NYC. At that time, I had no external security, no extra money saved, no job, or apartment lined up. I had no real reason to think it was possible based on my circumstances.
When the feeling came to my heart, I said yes. A true decision is like falling in love; you don’t decide from your head, it’s something that finds you. I had only my feeling, but I’d developed trust for my intuition by this point.
Decisions with the most impact are those that come from your heart because they have the power to defy what you think is possible (through love), and it’s those decisions that you experience the most aliveness (more love).
The greatest challenge is your thinking: you may have to embrace whatever limitations are in your mind, and let go of what security you perceive you may lose.
Following your heart may make no sense, and it may be the opposite of your plans, but it makes sense to the deeper knowing within.
In the beginning, it’s not easy to follow just a feeling, but the more you do it, the better at it you become, and the more you value yourself for doing it.
At that moment in time, I didn’t feel compelled or inspired to look for places to live in NYC before I got there, yet I lived in three different places. By staying in my heart and following the moment-to-moment inspirations, I saw the power of my decision unfold with ease.
First, an old family friend offered me his flat in Manhattan while he was away.
Before I left, I met a woman at an event visiting from Brooklyn who emailed me two weeks later asking if I wanted a sublet.
The last place came when I followed my intuition to meet with a friend who surprised me with a place to sublet, which I moved into days later, the day my other place was up.
From experience, it’s easier to follow the feeling when the possibilities are visible: you have the time, the money, or all the tangible circumstances.
But what about when you only have a feeling, when the possibilities are still invisible, do you still follow the feeling in your heart?
Living a life of love is more effortless because you cultivate more presence naturally, but you don’t do it for the effortlessness; you do it because you come to know yourself in that love at a deeper level.
Sure, the move came with ease, but it was the aliveness I felt in following the feeling that took my breath away.
Anyone reading this must take note: this was my story of following the feeling in that moment. If I moved to NY now, I would follow my feeling now, which could mean looking long and hard for places. It’s a new moment!
There is a fine line between a deep knowing, and hoping, wishing, and laziness. I wasn’t not acting out of denial, I was in my truth, but your truth is going to be different every time, so don’t try my story “at home.”
A friend and inspirational writer who lives intuitively moved with two kids to California, leaving a secure law degree position back east, both she and her husband following their respective feelings.
Recently, she told me how she bought her house. “The bank should have never approved our loan from a logical perspective, it doesn’t make sense given our finances, but I just knew we had to take a risk and go for it because the feeling was pulling me.”
In her example, it doesn’t mean she won’t lose her house. Don’t forget life is a risk; so is going after what you love!!
Following your feeling will not only give you the experiences you perceive to be positive, it takes you to perceived negative experiences so you can be free of the fear.
I followed the feeling to start a business a couple years ago, and it failed. The feeling took me to a failed business, but now I don’t fear failing.
Ultimately, your intuition is guiding you to your bigger picture of what you love: less fear, and more power to alter destiny (love). Sometimes it takes you into beautiful romances, but later the feeling pulls you out of that same relationship you thought was forever.
The bigger picture has opportunities and challenges; you don’t get one without the other.
It can be really hard because going beyond limitations stretches you internally. You have to truly love it from your soul, not just your head. And you have to be willing to say yes!
You want more love, more inspiration, and more empowerment, but don’t know how? Decide first. You want to live a life that’s of freedom? Decide to. Possibilities become possible when you decide.
The truth is, you’re the only one with the true power to alter your destiny, to shape your life into one you love. It’s starts with what you decide through opening your heart to the feeling. You can complicate it in your head, but it’s that simple. What you love is in every moment; it’s up to you.
I didn’t always believe in me, but because I decide over and over again to live a life of love despite the fear, I now do.
No matter who you are out there in this world, I believe in you in this moment. After all, it is a new moment, your moment.
Bold man image via Shutterstock
About Kirra Sherman
Kirra supports others to experience more aliveness and awareness, to make decisions from the heart, and realise the happiness not dependent on circumstances, but in who you are in your heart. 33% off the “Settle into the Moment” 5 minute Meditation ($5 off) designed to bring you out of fear-driven busyness and into your heart: use code TINYBUDDHA here.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Extremely powerful. Good job and Thank you for writing.
I enjoy reading Tiny Buddha, but I wonder how all these people are able to quit their jobs. I am lucky not to have dependents, but i do have a mortgage and student loans. And when I was self-employed my health insurance cost $500 a month just for myself. How are people staying afloat?
I see where you are coming from. This is just Kirra’s story. The way I see it the concept can be applied to any part of our life. Meaning, not just quitting and moving. Following your intuition and trusting it. All of our stories are different, we can learn things from each other though.
Hooray!
The Universe will always abide by and accommodate your Decision.
A very interesting and inspiring story. I have the urge to move to Paris. I have no apartment, jobs, security lined up. I want to move there to progress in my career and find artistic inspiration. I feel that I have been in my current location for too long and it is time for me to move on. When you make your passion your lifestyle, then you attract the things that you want. Thank you for sharing this inspiring story.
I agree that making the decision to do something is incredibly powerful. I’m not sure, though, that deciding to do something is always enough to make it happen. Perhaps I’m taking this too literally, but sometimes what we want to be or wish to be simply CANNOT be, for one reason or another. Not that it never will be, but that the circumstances might be such that achieving what we desire simply isn’t possible at that point in time. What if you have a mental illness, for instance? Or are struggling with some kind of physical disability? Wanting something to be true doesn’t necessarily MAKE it true.
I think what I’m trying to say is that yes, deciding to do something is great, and empowering, but it’s equally important to keep your expectations reasonable and not to beat yourself up if your decision to act doesn’t automatically bring you everything you hope. I think perhaps a few other ingredients are required, particularly love and acceptance. Love for yourself regardless of how many times you’ve ‘failed’ or not been able to follow through with something, and complete acceptance of yourself and where you are in life. To paraphrase Carl Rogers, only when you can accept yourself as you are, will you be able to change 🙂
Thanks for a thought provoking piece.
I think making the decision is not so much like being pulled to something but attracted. What you want is pulled like a magnet. You want a new job? The new job won’t just come in your life. Instead actions towards the new job will be much more effective than if you didn’t make the choice. The paths may clear, but you still have to make the effort to walk that path. Also our ‘deciding’ power, like a magnet, is stronger for things easier to attain. Having a physical disability is like using a magnet to attract something a kilometer away- sure it may attract that thing, but it is so far it will never be pulled.
it is beautiful, thank you. just in the right moment.
Thank you Kirra for sharing your wonderful story. I know exactly what you mean when you say “But, what about when you only have a feeling, when the possibilities are still invisible, do you still follow the feeling in your heart?”. I am going through a separation after 28 years of marriage and am doing it alone. My family and friends chose not be there for me but that would never change “the feeling” in my heart.
The feeling of me wanting to be happy and have the right to live and own my life.
I don’t have an income,support or security at this time and can honestly say, at times feel so overwhelmed about coping and getting through.
But I focus on my future where I can see myself as being happy,healthy and supported. “This feeling from my heart” has given me the courage,hope and strength to feel and believe that things will eventually work out. It is the light
that leads my path and I am very grateful for it.
I like your approach. Persist and I believe things will get clearer as you go along.
Thank you Michael for your positive words of support.
This story really resonates with me. My life totally changed when I remembered that I had the power to choose. Sometimes it was a choice between two ‘less-good’ choices, but I could still take an active part in what was happening to me.
I agree with Michael. I must admit that meditation has definetly allowed me to reduce the mind talk that would normally convince me not to do something becasue x and y could go wrong. From ‘quieting the mind’ I now understand the difference between thinking and ‘knowing’. Please excuse my example, but I find it hugely difficult to explain this feeling; it’s like trying to explain the colour red to someone who has been born into this world blind and has no concept of colour. Only you know what you ‘know’, and I have found trying to analyse it only wastes time. I just go with it and watch it unfold. Stay strong Elate Life YH, you’re doing the right thing as you trust it.
Hi Kirra
I loved this post so much and it really resonated with me. A few years back, I decided I wanted to be a freelance writer and travel the world for as long as I wanted, whenever I wanted. At the time, however, I had no idea how this would come about, and there was nothing in my experience to suggest this would be possible. But, I set that intention and things unfolded from there, albeit it was a bit bumpy at times for sure.
So many people seem so amazed by my life and ask me how I managed to do it, and I always start off with the fact that I simply decided to. That truly is the key, and something most people just never get around to doing.
Not only did that decision obviously lead me to making deliberate, conscious choices, it sent out a message to the Universe, and I was supported in this journey in ways I could not have anticipated, and through things happening that were in no way directly related to any action I had taken.
I urge people to make that firm decision, and start doing something today that will move you towards what you want, no matter how small. Don’t worry about figuring out every last thing right now..the answers will come as you go, and things will unfold. You just need to have a bit of faith.
This line of thinking is the reason I am writing this post from an oceanfront home in Fiji, where I am housesitting for four months..not anything I would have believed at the time.
Thank you for sharing this great post.
Thank you Michael.
Because dealing in peacefulness is more profitable when there are many who are confused in our times.
Wisdom for all my real peeps keeping it chill, that to achieve true wisdom, is to understand that a persons reputation is his downfall. Reputation is like waiting for a flight that never arrives?.. yet picking up more baggage endlessly sleep walking through the terminalL. R
I somehow “know” the difficulty you have in using words to describe a sense of “knowing or understanding.” I like your analogy. I also agree that meditation helps so that one begins to “hear” answers.
There is such a fine line between feeling truly moved and then wanting or hoping that it will come true. There is a great saying, you can have anything you want as long as you don’t want it. Something to ponder… But you’re right, the greatest challenge is to maintain that sense of connection with who you are and not make whether you succeed or fail mean anything about who you are, but stay in appreciation and gentleness and in your heart no matter what is happening in your external world, your circumstances. I wrote this article for those decisions that come from love, but when you are deciding from a space of need, well, the entire article isn’t really applicable. 🙂
That’s a great experience Kelli, I’m glad for you that you’ve had such a deep, direct experience of it for yourself. You must have deserved it and then willed it into your life. But again, that was a decision. There is no difference between any of us but what we choose, because we all are faced with stories that say we cannot, they just change in content. And what’s great about your experience is that once you know its possible from experience, you know it’s possible time and time again! … when you’re open!!
You’re welcome. Sometimes the greatest thing you need is just the willingness to follow the feeling. And sometimes the greatest support comes from within, when all the lights go dim on the outside, you have the opportunity to experience the strength within. All I can say is: keep going. But perhaps, rather than looking to the future, perhaps just focus on how you’re supported NOW, how these experiences are supporting you now… even if it’s just to realise your strength within, for example. 🙂 One of the other comments above used this quote I feel is applicable: “To paraphrase Carl Rogers, only when you can accept yourself as you are, will you be able to change :)”
🙂 I understand. Peace within (below comment) has a point. My story is just one example, and my example is only there to remind others of the possibilities, and my experience is there to remind myself what’s possible, for the next time, and the next time, and the next time. You may want to read the story below by Kelli Cooper, who shares a bit of her experience. However, the truth is that nothing can take the place of your own experiences, when you learn from your own truth. Good luck, whatever you decide to do!!
Ellen that’s one of the most powerful things to realise because then you are not a victim to what happens. No matter what must be accepted, that’s a choice, even if it’s the choice between a rock and a hard spot, as they say. 🙂 Thanks for sharing.
There’s never a REAL answer.