“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” ~Unknown
A professor once told my class, “In order to live your life to the fullest, you must think about your death every day.”
At the time, I felt too busy to think about my death because I was consumed with law school applications and endless deadlines. But the words came creeping up to haunt me one day.
After I graduated, I moved to Boston to work at a law firm downtown before attending law school the following year. I wanted to be a lawyer because I thought it would be a lucrative, challenging career, allowing me to live what I thought would be a “fulfilled life.”
At first, I was thrilled to be a full-time employee at a law firm, but as time passed, I realized that it didn’t make me happy. And I was surprised. For so long I thought it was what I was meant to accomplish. It was hard to consider that perhaps it wasn’t the right path for me.
I just wasn’t happy at my job. I felt like I was missing the days and living for the weekends. I worked eleven hours a day, I never saw my friends, and my relationship was crumbling.
I expressed this issue to many of my coworkers, and most of them said something along the lines of, “That’s life.”
Still, I felt certain the “real world” didn’t have to make me feel so unhappy and unfulfilled. I also knew that it might be hard to change directions, but if I didn’t, I would never feel any different.
Suddenly, like a ton of bricks, my professor’s words came to me, and for the first time I thought about death.
Immediately, I thought of my Uncle David who died when I was younger. David was living in Los Angeles, pursuing a career as an actor. When I reached middle school, he died of AIDS. He was thirty-eight years old.
Being young, I had always thought about how his death affected my family, particularly my grandmother, but I’d never thought too much about what things were like for him before he died.
In retrospect, I imagine he felt he was living his life fully, even though it got cut short. He had found the courage to use his time to do what he really loved.
Any of our lives can be cut short without warning—but we can decide whenever we want to use our time to reach for our dreams. That’s a fulfilled life.
Looking back, I realize I’d doubted my choice to go to law school, but I was afraid that if I didn’t see it through, I would have wasted a lot of time. What crazy logic, when you think about it: To avoid admitting I’d wasted time, I was willing to keep on wasting it.
Once I realized I wanted to make a change, the next step was to start dreaming. That was the easy part. Since I was in high school, I wanted to start a company called How to be a Redhead with my sister, Stephanie.
It would begin as an online community for redheads with future plans of a beauty line. The two of us have always had a very special connection. It could be that we’re both feisty, spunky, natural-born redheads, but we believe it goes deeper than that.
We believe our mission in life is to do something together, as one. And that’s just what we did.
My first step was to leave the law firm. It was one of the easiest decisions in my life because right then I didn’t have a single reservation, not even about the financial risk. I knew I only needed my sister’s support and my belief in what we can do together.
Suddenly, our best friends rallied around us to help.
Photographers, wardrobe stylists, hair stylists, artistic directors, business entrepreneurs, and web designers all came together for us. I never would have imagined we’d have this type of support, and I wouldn’t have known until I asked for it.It was amazing!
Though the future is uncertain, I now feel energized and alive when I wake up, knowing I am doing something I love with someone I love.
I imagine my Uncle David would be proud because we are living our lives following his courageous lead.
If you find yourself in a place where your days feel mundane or you feel unfulfilled:
Think about that inevitable moment when you’re looking back on your life.
It gives you a better perspective on what’s really important. Suddenly, it’s less about what you feel you should do and more about what you really want to do with the time you have.
Take time to reflect.
When I was struggling with my job and the choice to attend law school, I meditated and practiced yoga daily to reflect on the areas of my life I wanted to improve. These exercises helped me gain the strength and courage to make a major change in direction.
Follow your intuition and listen to that little voice inside of you.
It is there for a reason. Life can be a gift, but it’s one we need to give to ourselves.
Photo by bing bing.
About Adrienne Vendetti
Adrienne Vendetti is the co-founder of How to Be a Redhead, a website that strives to make every redhead feel beautiful. Adrienne and her sister, Stephanie teach women to love theirlooks with recommendations for hair, skin, make-up, clothing, and more. Follow How to Be a Redhead on Twitter or "like" How to Be a Redhead on Facebook.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
A killer post Adrienne! It reminds me beautifully of the gravestone idealogy – on your gravestone will be the dates of your birth and your death with a slash in between. The slash is up to you, it’s your life. You don’t know when death will call so why not be out and about having fun when it does? Life is for living and dying not for inviting. Bravo!
Thank you so much for this post Adrienne, I can really relate to what you’re saying. As a recent graduate myself I’m currently struggling to come to terms with the ‘real world’, and I’m quickly realising that my once ideal corporate career path leaves me cold. I personally dont see the value in my current 9-5 paper pushing. Every day I wake up feeling flat and unenergised, and although I’m grateful for a job that pays decent money it’s just not right for me. I’ve already put the wheels in motion to change paths and I’m feeling excited for the future. Once again, thanks for the wise words. It’s great to know that other people feel the same, I wish you and your sister all the best with your venture!!
First of all, I’m a redhead. As I’m now a mid-lifer, my hair has become more auburny, but it’s still my natural color. Some white hairs are starting to peek out, but I’m one of the few in my age bracket who have yet to color their hair, I’m proud to say.
Secondly, I love your posting! As my daughter came very close to nearly dying of a medical crisis, I live constantly with the full awareness of the fragility of life. With her miraculous survival, I as her mom, feel like I was given a second lease on life. I live life with a sense of urgency and excitement for all there is to do and learn. I’m always looking for the ways To Do, fit in the fun stuff and look for meaningful opportunities. There’s enough bad without seeking it out; we must celebrate when the good and easy times are upon us. And even when we are amidst the rough times, we must still create and carve out those moments of joy and goodness.
I’m leaving my job of 20 years (retiring, as they say), with nothing secure in place. Just the openness to all the new and exciting opportunities out there and to what could evolve. My newest endeavor is my new website/blog.
Here is the link to the Dash Poem that John Sherry referred to in his posted comment: http://www.thedashmovie.com/
It’s one of my favorites. We must focus on our dash while being aware of our mortality. It can help us live more fully and with true appreciation. We will then have a rich life.
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Live like you were dying is also a country song btw
Beautiful post. Too often, I think we concentrate too much on getting the bigger house or the best car – slaving our time away on Earth to do so instead of focusing on the experiences, stories and jest for life that makes each of us so unique.
Love, love, love this post! <3
I am so touched to read these comments- thank you for your support and love!
Harriet: When reading your post, I could really feel your positive energy and your will to live!! It is must also help that you are a redhead, because as we know, all redheads have a natural fire within them that radiates strength and courage to pursue the unthinkable. I wish you the very best with your new endeavors! I visited your site and it’s amazing- congratulations! Keep in touch with us via facebook or howtobearedhead.com, we’d love to hear about your future success.
Francine: I understand how you are feeling and I think the best thing you have going for yourself is you have realized it isn’t for you. Now, you can take the steps to change! You are already a million steps ahead of everyone else! Keep in touch with us, we’d love to hear what you ended up doing!
Great article. It resonates with me. I’ve never worked in a fulfilling job. I left my last post to travel. Since I came home I’ve been unemployed and I see it as an opportunity to decide on what I really want to do with my career. So far I know I want to become self-employed but I haven’t yet focused on what business I will start. I’m hoping the inspiration comes soon. Good luck with your own venture!
A very timely post as within the last two weeks I have put the wheels in motion to find work that means something for me rather than work that let’s me buy things.
Selling my time and talent at the cost of a fufilled and passionate life is no longer an option. I would rather live wearing a huge smile than a furrowed brow.
Thank you for sharing and for a great post. Congratulations to you and your sister! I’m glad you listened to the inner voice.
Perfect post! Helped me decide which job offer to follow, something fullfilling, not just for the $$. I have done the busy, chaotic work thing, just for the $$, no passion in the job, it was just that a job, and it drained me, I lost friends and killed a decent relationship. No more. I have friends who have life changing issues, cancer, AIDS, I know what they go through and they live their lives to the fullest because they never know the “when”. It shouldn’t take a life altering issue for anyone to value their time here on this planet and those around them. I have been unemployed for 2 years, did alot of soul searching, and have realized stuff is stuff. I know what the necessities are, and now have options to do something I love, even if it means 2 part time jobs, they are both doing something I love.
Thanks for sharing! :o)
It actually took me a while to grasp this concept because at first I was like…why would I want to think about dying? But then I realized how that idea can help remove fear from my life, allowing me more freedom to try things and accomplish dreams I never thought possible. Great post!
Timely post for me. I’ll be graduating grad school in May at the ripe age of 46. I definitely do NOT want to put in time for a paycheck; I’ve been there. Like other posters, I’ve done the chaotic, have-no-life work thing. Thanks for reminding me about what’s important. I want to be fulfilled and find joy in my work AND in my life. I’m looking forward to this new chapter! Good luck to you and your sister! Your site is fabulous and makes me wish I was a redhead.
What a beautiful and heart-felt post. Thanks for sharing your story with all of us.
This is a great post, and it helped me remember a lot of what’s been going on for me recently.
I’ve had a job for over 2 years now, and although over the past 6 months I’ve been going nuts, I haven’t been able to get myself to quit even though I felt life was slowly become meaningless for me. Over time I realized life wasn’t about my job…and regained more confidence and motivation with my work, but I still haven’t quit, mostly likely because of guilt of leaving or fear of not having another job right away, even though financially I could handle it if I took the step.
I recently started applying for graduate schools for social work, a completely different arena then what I’m doing now, but is what I originally studied and was doing volunteer work in for years before. I actually have ideas for what I want to do with it, and am excited for a change. I plan to quit this September to go back to school, but I’m also seeing that I am giving myself a reason to quit something that was just holding me back.
I love this post
Love this post. It certainly takes courage to make big changes in life. This post is inspiring!
I love this post and can relate. I too have worked in endless jobs feeling I could and should be doing more. For 13 months I took care of my spouse who was diagnosed with cancer. Although it was difficult watching him slip away from me, I also took comfort in knowing I had done all that I could and he wasn’t alone. After he passed away, I wondered how many people in hospice didn’t have anyone to visit them, read to them or just sit in silence with them while they were lost in their own thoughts. Then I thought of all the jobs I had that failed to bring any satisfaction or the reward of knowing I had done good for someone. Suddenly I realized what I wanted. I quit my job and am returning to the classroom to become a Community Support and Youth Worker. If just thinking about it gives me a sense of accomplishment think about how I’ll feel when it’s my career. Finally a career. One that will give me happiness and a sense of purpose as opposed to a job that gives me stress. You just have to be brave enough to take that important first step. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I hope it gives others the confidence and courage needed to make a postive change in their life.
I was feeling the same way, only I’m about to go to law school. I don’t think I want to go now since I got in. I don’t think I’d be happy. The author makes me feel ok with my decision not to go, and to do what I feel would make me happy.
I am in a situation where I might die due to severe internal injuries which were repaired the best that could be done, but my future is very tenuous, one day at a time. I am 55 and otherwise “healthy” except for my injuries. I became a teacher because that is what I could get a job at. I worked way too hard at it. I did travel summers which I loved, and I did like the kids. But what I really wanted to do was major in media technology, Then after I visited out west in 1983, I really wanted to move there. Did I do either of these? no. I stayed in New England, taught, then when I got injured I lost my career; it’s as if all my hard work and late nights staying up correcting papers never existed. Follow this person’s advice it is golden. I cannot get back the time, nobody can. Rosemary
Your post made me cry. You are so brave for pursuing what you want. I am going back to school soon so I can finally have a career too, and I’m terrified and excited. Your post gives me hope. <3
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just know that there is beauty in breakdown 🙂