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How Life Becomes More Beautiful When We Stop Anticipating the Worst

Happy Woman

“Few of us ever live in the present. We are forever anticipating what is to come or remembering what has gone.” ~Louis L’Amour

These days I live in the city, but I spent my childhood in a rural English village. It was quaint and quiet and rather lovely—the sort of place you’re desperate to leave when you’re young and full of fire, but begin to hanker for when you get a little older.

Back then, to get to the local school, I had to walk down a long, winding country lane, which had rolling fields on both sides. For half an hour each morning and the same coming home, I had beautiful scenery as far as the eye could see—streams, woodlands, horses frolicking in the fields.

But I never really saw any of this.

You see, this being the countryside, it was common for residents to walk their dogs down lanes such as this one. And this also being the eighties, before people began cleaning up after their dogs, there were quite a few areas on my journey where dogs had relieved themselves.

Now, because of this you had to keep your eyes on the ground pretty much constantly—that’s if you didn’t want to be that kid who walked dog poop into school, (or worse into a friend’s parent’s house, which I did once, but that’s another, much less allegorical, story).

So there I was each morning, eyes on the path, making sure I didn’t step on anything unpleasant, ignoring everything else. Closed off from all the beauty around me.

I’m glad to say that one day I had an epiphany. I realized that by being so cautious, I was actually missing out on experiencing the amazing backdrop to my journey.

On that day I realized that I wanted to walk to school present and mindful of the wonderful world around me.

I wanted to look around more and experience life in all its glory, not just worry about whether I stepped in poop.

So I did.

And yes, perhaps on occasion my shoe may have met with something nasty, but it made that walk so much more enjoyable. I remember the feelings of oneness and freedom it instilled in me to this day.

And really, that’s what being mindful and present is. It’s saying yes to life and noticing your surroundings. Fully.

It’s saying yes, I might step in something unpleasant, I might get hurt, I might feel silly, I might expose my vulnerabilities, but at least I get to experience every remarkable nuance and opportunity life has to offer too.

I’m also glad to say that this has been a lesson that I’ve carried through to my adult life.

Sure, there have been many times in the past when I’ve stepped in something nasty; jobs haven’t worked out, relationships have ended, people close to me have gone away in various different ways.

But throughout any downtime I’ve always tried to keep looking around me, to see the scenery, the bigger picture. Even if this is just catching myself in a negative tailspin, taking a deep breath, centring myself, and realizing that there’s lots to appreciate out there.

So what if you step in something? So what if you expose the real you and then get hurt? It’s all part of the rich tapestry of life, and you’ll deal with it, because you’re living your life completely.

Mindfully.

In the present.

It’s not about pretending there is no dog poop on the path; it’s accepting that it’s there and striving forward anyway; it’s being mindful of what’s happening but enjoying life regardless.

So my advice today is to accept that you might “step in” something nasty, but do it anyway.

Remain mindful and engaged in the moment rather than focusing on what might happen.

Practice presence; give yourself to each experience fully.

When you become present in your interactions, you’ll start to enjoy every encounter so much more. You become involved in your life, fully.

You look around at the scenery and you really live.

What’s great is that presence is like a muscle that you can train. The more you work on it, the more present and mindful you’ll be.

So I’d urge you to spend a few minutes each day training your presence muscle.

There’s a few ways you can do this, but one of the simplest is to count your breaths for a few minutes each day. Taking a deep breath once in a while helps in so many ways.

All you need do is find a quiet place and slowly breathe in and out. And as you do, count the breaths. Ten in and ten out. It sounds simple but it takes a lot of focus at first to get to ten.

If your mind wanders, start again at one. Try and do ten uninterrupted, focused breaths.

I find this is also a great mini-meditation to use if I need to recalibrate and realign with myself, perhaps during an afternoon slump at work.

And of course, I still find myself, on occasion, watching the path too much. We’re all guilty, I think, of focusing inward—concentrating so much on what might happen that we miss what is happening.

I hope after reading this you might be able to catch yourself being too path-focused and try to live more fully in your current surroundings.

Begin to enjoy the beautiful scenery around you, and know that you are there, in the moment, enjoying every aspect of life, no matter what.

And if you stand on something nasty, know it’s only a small part of a much bigger picture that deserves to be experienced in all its splendor.

About Matt Hattersley

Matt Hattersley is a writer and trainer that helps people Live Life at 100% by removing the limiting beliefs, stress and anxiety that keeps them playing small and not getting what they want. Connect with him here and download the free 7 Minute Reboot Audio that leads to more clarity & confidence.

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Darren Thompson

Good post Matt….the brain is like any other muscle….if trained properly it will respond

Good & bad may be self perceptional…..the positives might not at first be apparent.

All the best

Darren

Dee

This was wonderful and helpful. Thank you.

CHAPTERTRAVEL

Very inspiring!! Thank you so much 🙂

Matt Richards

Absolutely Darren. Thanks for the words. I think it all comes down to our own perceptions of what happens to us. Was just discussing this concept this morning actuallly. We all have the power in us to choose our own reality. Best wishes Matt

Matt Richards

Thanks Dee I appreciate that

Matt Richards

Thanks a lot

Valentina

Makes me giggle how you compared hardship in life with stepping in dog poop 🙂 Very well done. And thanks for the reminder of not just looking out for dog poop along the way — sometimes what might feel like a tragedy at first night eventually become a great learning experience or something that makes you laugh.

Peace Within

Great advice! I have been noticing the trees on my drive journey to work. Before, I used to pass by them and didn’t pay much attention. They are all beautiful in their own ways. Beauty is everywhere, we just have to relax and notice.

Matt Richards

We just have to relax and notice – perfect. ‘The more relaxed you are the better you are at everything’ Bill Murray. I have that quote on my desk top. Thanks a lot

Kristen

Love this- thanks for sharing! I had a very similar experience in my youth- walking along the lake, but always looking down so as to not trip over branches that had fallen along the path. Once I did fall, I had no choice but to look up -finally- and see the beauty! A very pivotal moment in my life- thanks for the reminder !

Abigail Smith

Excellent metaphor for life…Wonderful advice to be mindful and present.

Dave Rowley

Hi Matt, Great piece! I smiled at you dog poop metaphor, it illustrates your point nicely. The whole post was a wonderful take on mindfulness, I really appreciated this as a neat summary: “saying yes to life and noticing your surroundings.”

Matt Richards

Thanks Dave I’m glad everyone got what I was trying to do with this. It is all true of course but I do think it works very well as a metaphor. Its too easy to worry about the what ifs sometimes but if we focus too much on them – thats all we begin to see.

Matt Richards

Ah thanks Kristen. Beautifully put…thanks a lot

Amber of A Mused Blog

A very beautiful post. It takes a certain vulnerability I think, to remain present!

Matt Richards

Thank you. And absolutely Amber. Vulnerability is so important in every aspect of life.. but thats a whole other article 😉

Mike McClement

Matt, what you say certainly resonates. Luckily I have a reminder of the stark difference between city and countryside every week. I live in South East Devon and travel up to Birmingham and London regularly. Mind you taking in the beauty of what’s around still means pinching yourself every now and then. You’re right about being in the present moment. Thanks for the reminder.

Leona

Your post was hilarious, but also very true! Thank you 🙂

Patrick

So beautifully written, made my afternoon. Namaste! 🙂

Matt Richards

Hi Patrick. Thanks so much for the words. Its great to know my work connects with people in this way. Best wishes Matt

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