Update: The winners for this giveaway are:
I have a confession to make—I sometimes cringe when someone tells me to “just be positive.” I’ve often assumed this really means, “Your sadness is making me uncomfortable, so please stop talking about it.”
To be fair, I wouldn’t classify myself as a negative person—not now, anyways—though I have my moments. I do, however, feel for anyone who might be classified that way, as I know from experience that deep negativity often comes from deep pain.
We all face our own battles in life, some more overwhelming than others. And sometimes it seems nearly impossible to nurture a positive attitude.
But it is possible. And sometimes, it’s the only thing that keeps us going when it seems unlikely we’ll find our way through the darkness.
Optimism is a powerful thing. When you’re optimistic, you don’t deny that you’re going through a hard time. You don’t suppress your feelings or pretend you’re happy. You simply believe that something good could come from your struggles—even if you can’t yet fathom what that might be.
You believe that life is happening for you, not to you, and that you’re not a victim but rather someone with immense potential to overcome your odds and thrive.
Because you believe, you’re able to keep moving forward—learning, growing, and making the best of your circumstances—when it would be easier to give up.
I’m always inspired to read stories from people who’ve found silver linings in tragedy because it reminds me that we have immense power to shape our lives through our perceptions and responses. This is what brought me to Dave Mezzapelle’s new book 10 Habits of Truly Optimistic People.
Dave’s on a mission to get people to “power their lives with the positive.”
In this follow-up to his bestselling book Contagious Optimism, he’s collected more than 100 stories from amazingly resilient individuals, and compiled them into 10 chapters based on—you guessed it—the habits of optimistic people.
I’m grateful that Dave took the time to answer some questions about himself and his book, and that he’s provided two copies for Tiny Buddha readers.
The Giveaway
To enter to win one of two free copies of 10 Habits of Truly Optimistic People:
- Leave a comment below.
- For an extra entry, tweet: Enter the @tinybuddha giveaway to win a free copy of 10 Habits of Truly Optimistic People http://bit.ly/1DEk1RR
You can enter until midnight PST on Wednesday, April 8th. Two winners will be chosen at random on April 9th.
The Interview
1. Tell us a little bit about yourself and what inspired you to create this series.
I have always been a positive, upbeat person and very optimistic. And, I always made it a point to find the bright side of a problem, which I found made it easier to surmount. In addition, I have always loved people’s stories.
Over the course of the past twenty years, my alma mater, Fairfield University in Connecticut, had suggested that I write a book on optimism in business. This was based on the way I ran my company for seventeen years.
I didn’t have an interest in writing something like this until 2010. I literally woke up one day and said, “I will do it. But let’s not just make it about me. Let’s make it about lots of people. And let’s not just make it about business. Instead, let’s make it about many of life’s themes including business.”
2. What have you learned about the benefits of optimism?
After spending years collecting silver lining stories from around the globe, one of the most powerful facts I learned is that being a positive, optimistic person not only allows people to achieve greatness, but it has numerous mental and physical benefits as well.
From a biological standpoint, we benefit from the release of neurotransmitters such as serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine when we are happy, positive, and optimistic.
Mentally, we find ourselves in a good place that makes everything else seem easier (or at least less difficult for those that are going through tough times).
People have nothing to lose from being positive versus the stress they definitely gain from being negative. Don’t run away from obstacles and adversity but be positive in your ability to address and surmount them.
And when we are feeling good about ourselves and optimistic about our future, we tend to look better as well. Our skin tone, our posture, and our confidence all shine. And, even our physique improves when we combine optimism with a workout or exercise schedule.
3. The book features more than 100 true stories from people who’ve learned the power of optimism. I’m sure you found all of them inspiring in different ways, but is there one that really stuck with you—and why?
They all have affected me. In addition to the 100 stories you referenced in this book, we have thousands in our essay bank for future volumes. It has been nothing shy of awesome being able to read these stories and learn about these people.
What sticks with me is not one particular story but the fact that everyone has a silver lining story to share. However, I will share an amazing story about Yvette Pegues.
Yvette was an employee of IBM in their global patent office. She traveled the world and knew many languages. She also has two young boys and a terrific husband.
One day Yvette had terrible headaches and was rushed to the hospital to find that she had a genetic brain malformation. They performed emergency surgery, which caused a brain stem stroke that left her in a wheelchair for life.
Instead of letting this bring her down, she was a first responder to the earthquake in Haiti (the same year of her stroke—2010). She also competed in and won Miss Wheelchair Georgia and, in 2014, Miss Wheelchair USA where I was the keynote speaker.
Today, Yvette has devoted her life to helping children worldwide improve their literacy skills.
4. In one of your previous interviews, you talked about the steps you believe people should follow to help them embrace optimism when facing hurdles, with the acronym “GSM.” Can you tell us more about those three steps?
GSM stands for Gratitude, Stories, and Magnet.
Gratitude—you need to be grateful for even the smallest things in life. This can be something simple like the sunrise, a glass of water, your pet, or the smell of the ocean. Simple gratitude makes everything feel special, big or small.
Stories—When people are going through tough times, they tend to think that they’re alone. However, when they hear or read stories of how others have persevered, it gives them hope. And, hope is that important foundation of optimism.
Magnet—“Optimism is a happiness magnet.” ~Mary Lou Retton. I love this quote. You want to surround yourself with good, uplifting people. Their happiness and positive attitude is certainly contagious. It brings you up and adds light to your day.
But, conversely, sometimes it’s difficult to avoid the negative people, the naysayers, and the cynics. Unfortunately, their negativity is contagious as well. They may be in your office, your classroom, or your apartment.
In those cases, just ignore their chatter and simply tolerate them. It doesn’t mean you need to absorb their energy. Don’t take their negative opinions to heart and don’t let them influence you.
5. Conventional wisdom about becoming more positive suggests we should avoid “negative people,” but in my experience, “negative people” often need our love and support the most. Have you learned anything that can help us find a middle ground so that we’re minimizing the negative effects of spending time with pessimists, but not just writing them off so that we may actually be able to help them?
Yes. We never suggest ignoring or isolating pessimists. We just assert that what others do or say is a reflection of their own reality, so don’t take it personally and don’t let it bring you down.
Some people are just naturally pessimistic and it is not our job to change them but at least being a ray of sunshine around them can bring them light without allowing their nature to pull us down.
I believe that true success in everything comes from combining effort, reality, and positive thinking. Optimism alone will keep you in the clouds. And oftentimes reality alone will prevent you from getting passed first base.
However, when you combine all three, things happen in a big way! And this is based on our extensive experience of interviewing people and capturing their silver lining stories.
6. What do you believe is the biggest obstacle to optimism, and what’s one thing we can do to overcome it?
Outside influences are the #1 obstacle. This can be a negative friend, family member, coworker or boss, or even the media. An outside influence can reduce or eliminate optimism.
The best way to overcome it is to make it a point to minimize your exposure to the naysayers and cynics. In addition to watching or reading the news, try to follow positive stories and positive programming as well.
Look in the mirror and remember that what others do or say is a reflection of their own self, not a reflection of you.
Don Miguel Ruiz, in his book The Four Agreements, asserts, “Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”
Conversely, appreciating those around you that appreciate who you are and what you stand for is tantamount for your own optimism and for making it contagious for others.
7. Of the ten habits shared in the book, which do you think is the most difficult to form, and what’s one simple practice anyone can use to begin cultivating it today?
Everyone is different so this is a difficult question. For example, some people struggle with embracing change (chapter one).
Others have a difficult time appreciating those around them (chapter two).
And, I have also noticed that many people do not believe in themselves and the value they possess (chapter five).
So, in my opinion, the one simple practice is to take a deep breath and concentrate on the fact that others have had it so much worse and have made it through. And, the best way to prove that to yourself is to either read books like Contagious Optimism and Chicken Soup For the Soul and/or connect with others that have been in the same boat.
It is very powerful to learn about the patience, persistence, and perseverance of others.
8. What’s the main message that you hope readers take from this book?
We all have stories. What you think may be boring or uneventful is actually inspirational and motivational to others around the globe. So, considering sharing your stories and remember, we are all naturally mentors just by the sheer impression of our footsteps.
You can learn more about 10 Habits of Truly Optimistic People here.
FTC Disclosure: I receive complimentary books for reviews and interviews on tinybuddha.com, but I am not compensated for writing or obligated to write anything specific. I am an Amazon affiliate, meaning I earn a percentage of all books purchased through the links I provide on this site.
Smiley face image via Shutterstock

About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Looks like a Great book to read! <3 I love being optimistic! Makes me smile and happy! 🙂
My favorite section from the interview is #2 regarding the medical/biological viewpoint. Also the fear we have of obstacles and adversity. Giveaways are a great opportunity for individuals who are struggling with taking chances. It’s a good small stepping stone. Good luck to everyone.
Great interview! Great reminder to not take things personally. SOOO easy to say ….
I couldn’t agree more! My life improved immensely when I started believing that it will get better, which helped me find the energy to MAKE it better.
The hardest thing for me to reconcile is that being optimistic doesn’t mean you pretend there is no such thing as pain or struggles or difficulties. Perhaps it’s more about how one approaches those things when they happen.
Great post! As someone who is raising a daughter with a chronic illness, optimism is a lifeline for me. Gratitude is what pulls me out of a blue mood and turns things around. I look forward to reading this book.
I was negative for most of my life. My husband (now my ex) was a very negative person and I assume I absorbed it from him. I now try and live my life positive with an optimistic attitude. It is extremely hard sometimes because I continue to face disappointments. I do not expect not to face disappointments but this article and many others on Tiny Buddha are helping me turn my life around. Thank you!!
What a wonderful interview. Although optimism is something I truly value, I often find that stress and negative environments can leave me feeling cynical, irritable, and depleted. This book seems like a great reminder of how to stay positive and inspired during the tough times, especially with real life examples of people who made the best of their struggles. We all do have our unique stories. Looking forward to this read!
Sounds like a great read! I was very much a glass half empty for a long time which stemmed from being born with a rare physical disability. I consider myself to be a lot more glass half full today but there’s still always room for improvement!
Great interview, Lori! I really liked Dave’s suggestion about using gratitude, stories, and optimism as a happiness magnet. Good reminder that we draw in what we radiate. I’m off to tweet the giveaway!
I love “I sometimes cringe when someone tells me to “just be positive.” I’ve often assumed this really means, “Your sadness is making me uncomfortable, so please stop talking about it.” haha! I’m going to tweet also 🙂
Would love to read this!
Great post – shared on Twitter and Google+
I’ve had this on my TBR list for quite a while! I’ve been focusing on being a more optimistic person the past couple of years, I’ve made it quite a high priority. I hope to read this book soon, and it would be even better to have a copy of my own!
These insights are both profound and practical! At the University where I teach, we are talking seriously about the power of a positive campus culture and the enduring impact of an optimistic, compassionate, and encouraging environment for faculty, staff and students! Thank you!
Would love to read!
It’s so easy to get stuck in pessimism because it’s almost a defense mechanism. So I really appreciate books like these which inspire and remind us to stay optimistic in life. Hope I get a chance to read the book! 😀
Sounds like a good book.
There is so much negativity in the world today that we need more optimistic people to step up and speak out. I’m optimistic by nature, but it takes time to think of how to say things in a positive way that helps another perhaps see things differently and in a better way. Good post – helps the thought process. Would like the book too.
I’ve been criticized for being too optimistic, too sunny, even in the face of disaster. But sometimes it’s just a facade that hides something fearful inside. This book may give me some insight into honest optimism.
This sounds like a great book!
I’ve learned that the energy I put into relationships is reciprocated, and even in hard times optimism and hope are important to have. I would like to get this book and grow and learn to be better for myself and others. This was a really great post as well, thank you!
I’m trying to find good every day. Today is day 3 of waking to an affirmation. Coincidentally, today there were 3 extra packages in my new box of instant oatmeal. It counts!
It is so true that when you have a positive outlook in life, more positive and amazing things will happen. Sounds like a great book to read!
Awesome book! Hope I win a copy ;D
Great interview and insights! Optimism at it’s best. It’s such a wonderful feeling coming across articles like this and people like both you and Dave who are changing the world everyday, making lives more enriched and positive.
Remaining unaffected yet sympathetic to negativity can be one of the most difficult things to master; it’s so important to be able to tolerate and dissipate but not absorb the energy, especially when it’s in your astrological nature to do so. (I’m a Pisces.) Stories like these can be a really important balancing tool. I look forward to reading it and Contagious Optimism!
Remaining unaffected yet sympathetic to negativity can be one of the
most difficult things to do; it’s so important to be able to
tolerate and dissipate but not absorb the energy, especially when it’s
in your astrological nature to do so. (I’m a Pisces.) Stories like these
can be a really important balancing tool. I look forward to reading it
and Contagious Optimism!
Optimism is about reframing what happens to you, so it contributes positively to your life it’s about cultivating happiness ☺️
I’d love to win a copy of this book. I’m in need of more positive in my life!
Sounds like a great book. I would love to read =)
Life becomes so simple if you practice this basic philosophy. Thanks from bringing it people by sharing experiences.
I am a go to book person…my personal liberary is a source I can actually touch and be touched by..on any given day..my library would be blessed to have this book as part of it…I am often asked where did I learn such things..and many times I refer them to a particular book I have read…
As a natural born pessimist I have worked hard to become an optimist. This book sounds great. Love all the tips too.
My first thought: I probably won’t win so why bother posting? My second thought: What a pessimist I am, I really need this book! Sounds like a great book!
Hi Lori, Love, love, love this article. I’m usually told that I’m to optimistic, happy and positive. What great relief to read that it is okay to be so! All the best.
I start my day with articles from Tiny Buddha and reread them to give me the positive outlook and the power to take on the day. The book sounds like a great read.
I want this book soo bad 🙂
Being optimistic is so much about perspective; it’s a matter of
interpretation. It’s the same future two people are looking at yet one
may be seeing potential disaster and the other sees potential success. Like this: I
love public speaking; I have friends who find it terrifying. The key
difference between us is what we say to ourselves before and during a
speaking engagement. We’re both feeling adrenalin. We’re just
interpreting it differently and telling ourselves different things. I
experience it as excitement; my reluctant friends experience it as fear
or dread. I am thinking “this is exciting – fun – a great way to connect
with people – to share my passion – to learn.” Typically they are
thinking “I’m going to make a mistake – I don’t like this – I’m not
articulate” or even “OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO DIE.” When I look at the
future and find myself being pessimistic, I’m interpreting the
uncertainty as scary and guard myself against potential threats. And
when I do that, my imagination grows but my creativity is stultified.
When I look at the future and find myself being optimistic, I’m
interpreting the uncertainty as exciting. I’m focused on positive potential, and my imagination grows in a positive direction.
This would be fabulous to win! Thanks! xoxo
Ooo sounds like an awesome book! Thank you for another great post, Lori!
Great insights. I cannot wait to read it.
Optimism to me is the first steps toward the top of the delusional abyss.
I never win anything….see, I need the book 🙂
The acronym “GSM” is great. I agree that our frame of mind helps us through the difficult times in life. Thanks for writing the book, it sounds great! I share many of your links on FB & twitter and will share this one also.
Would love for my partner to read this. He works fifo 4 on and 1 off and the longer he is away the more the negativity creeps in.
Positivity is sometimes clouded with depression. While undergoing proper medical treatment, this book seems to be a good companion to therapy.
I needed to read this article so desperately – it is very appropriate for me right now in my life, as I’m struggling to be positive about anything at the moment. The quote that stands out for me and makes me reflect on what I’m experiencing at the moment is “When you’re optimistic, you don’t deny that you’re going through a hard time. You don’t suppress your feelings or pretend you’re happy. You simply believe that something good could come from your struggles—even if you can’t yet fathom what that might be”. Thank you Tiny Buddha!
Definitely would read and use this
Yes please!