“Man is only truly great when he acts from his passions.” ~Benjamin Disraeli
Like many of us, I had a difficult childhood. My parents’ relationship was unhappy and unhealthy, and their misery left me feeling alone, afraid, and anxious most of the time.
My environment was so unpredictable that I often withdrew from family and friends, losing myself in the comfort of my own creativity.
I fell in deep and indescribable love with music at a very young age. The radio became my confidant, my protector, my therapist, my escape. I would sing and preen and pose like a rock star, imagining thousands of frenzied fans singing my songs back to me with tears in their eyes.
Music inspired me to do everything. Create art. Write songs. Sing. Dance. Act.
By the time I was a teenager, I knew exactly who I was and what I wanted to be. I was a good writer—infinitely curious about people and what made them tick. And music was my passion.
I wanted to travel the world as a rock journalist, follow my favorite bands, write about their lives and music, and live like a rock star. And one day I would start my own band, get onstage, and be a rock star. Those things would be my “gift” to the world.
But it never happened.
I listened to people who told me my dreams were too big. That jobs for rock journalists were few and far between. That I wasn’t being realistic and would never make a good living that way.
So I did what I thought I should. I found a stable corporate writing job that offered health benefits and a nice retirement plan. And eventually, I lost touch with the creative, spontaneous, audacious girl with gigantic rock-star dreams.
I shifted my focus to a more responsible, practical life. I had no time for frivolous hobbies or daydreams. And very soon, I was restless, bored, angry, and miserable.
I changed jobs often and with every new job, my misery deepened. My anger escalated. I wasn’t sure why.
I blamed the work. I blamed the environment. I even blamed the people I worked with.
It was only through an extended bout with depression that I uncovered the greatest source of my anger and unhappiness. During a therapy session, my counselor encouraged me to think back to when I was happy in my life.
“What were you doing that made you happy, Angela?” she asked. “How did you spend your time then? How did it make you feel?”
I realized that I was happiest when I was using my creative gifts: music, writing, art, and performance. Using my gifts made me feel like me. And hiding them away was making me miserable.
So I committed to re-discovering my creative self and honoring my gifts. It was scary for me, so I started small. I committed to one hip-hop dance class.
And suddenly the damn was broken. Before I knew it, I was singing again, designing jewelry, taking photographs, teaching myself to play the guitar. Anything and everything that sparked a creative fire in me was fair game.
And very soon after, I felt happy! Like me. Like I had taken in a huge breath and finally let go. I became more positive, more optimistic, more joyful than ever.
This journey has taught me so many things about the gifts we’ve all been given and why it’s so important to honor them:
Our gifts are an expression of our deepest selves.
They’re not just things we “do” with our time. Our gifts reflect who we are at our very core, and who the world needs us to be. When we deny that, we deny our true nature and cause ourselves great pain.
Using our gifts keeps us aligned with a purpose.
Our gifts point us in the right direction, help us focus, and show us a clear path to joy. When we discover our gifts and learn how to use them, we no longer worry about who we are and why we’re here.
Using our gifts builds our confidence and self-esteem.
Many of us have to push past a great deal of fear and resistance to use our gifts. Every time we do that, we feel more confident about pushing even further, and more certain that everything we’re doing is a step in the right direction.
Our gifts fill us up and validate us.
Using our gifts make us feel whole and deeply fulfilled. Having that measure of happiness in our lives keep us from seeking fulfillment and validation in empty vices, material attachments, addictions, and unhealthy relationships.
Our gifts help us help others.
When we do what we’re good at—what we truly love to do—and we share it with the world, it helps other people find their way, too.
I’ve started writing again and getting back in touch with that audacious girl with huge rock-and-roll dreams—the one who still jumps up and down and screams out loud when her favorite band comes to town. I think the world really needs her.
I’m also working with a mentor who encourages, guides, and supports me with an incredible amount of patience, compassion, and humor.
This journey has been tough. I’ve spent a lot of time questioning and second-guessing myself and my gifts. But I’m thrilled to report that I’ve finally surrendered. In fact, should I ever backslide into questions and self-doubt again, I’ve asked my mentor to reply as follows:
“Shhhhhhh. Faith, Angela. Keep writing.”

About Angela Brown
Angela Brown is a writer, Reiki practitioner, singer/songwriter, musician, artist, dancer, meditator, yoga enthusiast, and voracious reader who has an absolutely unhealthy obsession with music. She is sharing her Reiki services and her journey to self re-discovery on her web site: www.soulmuchbetter.com.
Thank you Angela! I so feel your steps and thank you for your wisdom. Nick with family in Massachusetts.
Oh my God Angela! You’ve just said all that has been on my mind :’). Honestly, every word just has its own weight and the entire article is just so true that I can’t even explain. I, myself am a writer, singer, artist and while I got so busy with my studies, I ignored the two other very important facets to my personality…But this winter I was determined to bring my other two parts back to life and I did, and you’ve no idea how good it feels…I love you’re article 🙂 And I would love it if you could visit my blog and comment on it please, http://mariam03rehman.wordpress.com/ – Than You
Great Article. My passions are my life. I am an actress, filmmaker, writer and artist. I have made it my oath that in the next coming year my passions will hold top priority to my “day job”, I promise myself that I will do more traveling, writing, and creating of art. I will even get back into dating since that part of my life has been seriously in lack. Thank you for this great post.
Amazing! This article truly reflects YOU, the beautiful Ange I have known for years. Keep writing. Keep believing. Love you!
Thank you, Melissa…for being such an awesome friend, confidant, and cheerleader! Love you back!! : )
Nick, thank YOU for reading! I’m happy it resonated with you!
Angela
Philosopher, I love your enthusiasm!! Thank you! Isn’t it amazing to find that “center” again?? I hope you always leave some space in your life for your gifts!
Angela
Thank you Angela! This really struck a chord with me, as I know the pain of not living in my true purpose, and now am fully immersed in the journey of reigniting my deepest passions. Love and gratitude to you!
Talya, that’s beautiful! I’m so happy you made that promise to yourself! I truly believe that our passions always lead us where we need to be. Enjoy your journey!!
: )
Thank you, Michelle. I’m happy you’re walking away from pain and towards your purpose! Sending much love and support for your journey!
Angela
Yes, it really is amazing to find that “center” 🙂 Hope you’ll visit my blog as well, my address is: http://mariam03rehman.wordpress.com/ – Thank You
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I can so relate to this!!! I wish I
would have believed in myself sooner and started painting sooner, but I
am so glad I finally did! “Our gifts are an expression of our deepest selves.” is so true!
You’re welcome! The beautiful thing about using our gifts is that it’s never, ever too late. And sometimes it happens exactly when it’s supposed to! I’m happy this resonated with you and that you’re painting now! Keep going! : )
I would love a feedback. what if i do not have any talents or gifts to give myself and others . what if the answer to when you were the happiest is a blank – what if i do not know what is joy and happiness . Is feeling of relief a happiness . what if i am a burden in this world. i wish i knew the answer to understand how this accident in my being alive in this world has any meaning. Yes I feel grateful that things could have been much worse physically and without my knowing it is humorous to see that the force inside failing repeatedly still has the energy to be angry and in conflict with the greater knowing but why !!
Everybody has a talent, you have to keep trying new things to find one that you not only enjoy, but feel aligned with. I tried a million things and found stuff that I enjoyed, but only 2 of these have stuck. Also, these don’t have to be creative talents either, as you could be good at caring for animals, people or good with numbers it could be anything, maybe even philosophising on the universe as you seem to be doing 🙂
Anon is right. Sometimes we misunderstand what a “gift” is. If you’re good at helping people, that is a gift. If you’re a great listener, that is a gift. If you love to simplify or organize things, that is a gift. What are the things that people thank you for? What makes you feel good when you do it?
Thanks this is what i am trying to find. My understanding of a talent is that it gives me both peace and energy do it effortlessly. So far I have struggled and after repeated failures, opportunities have dried up making me mock at perseverance . what is it when I am not able to see the opportunities to continue with it, what i am not getting . . Yes I am grateful and feel happy for people like you who have found and are enjoying their talent and making light of their failures and living life . Thank You once again
Angela, I am now reading this over and I cannot tell you how beautiful this message is. It is such an important message to share with people.
We all have dreams, hopes, desires, and wishes…. But so many of us allow these to fall under the rug, to be forgotten, ignored and squashed.
This post lets us all we know we are not alone in our journey to live a more meaningful life. Thank you.
Thank you, Izmael. Anything is possible. But you already know that. : )
I hope this helps people realize that everyone has something unique to contribute, and that the world needs us all to shine in our own way!
What a great message Angela!
Indeed our unique gifts are what we are made of, we are here only to serve ourselves (our gifts) to the world and that is the only thing that truly makes us alive and kicking fully charged with all the inspiration and passion in the world because we now have finally connected with the essence of why we are here which is our purpose!
Thanks for sharing Angela!
Ahh now that’s a happy ending! To finally connect with your true passion is the only thing that keeps us alive with all the possibilities!
I am always interested in seeing the product of a discovered and pursued purpose…any chance to see your brilliant piece of art Golivas?
Happy painting and may it inspire others to pursue their passions as well!
Bongani
so true!
Bongani, yes! you can see my paintings at gretaolivas.com
Thank you, Bongani! There are wonderful gifts in each of us….gifts that are powerful enough to change the world. The challenge is discovering them and learning how to use them to serve others. I hope we can all rise to that challenge!
im 13 and this made me think, why cant kids be allowed to do what they like? i’m not one of those “rebellious” teens wondering why we cant smoke or something like that but why cant we decide what classes to take? why cant we chose if we want to go to school? if someone is happy building cars or making music or just being outside and walking in nature why cant we do just that? why go to school and take classes that make you unhappy? i get decent grades but i dont get the emphasis on grades. i know people who are smart just not by the school standards. if you asked them who the third president was they probably wouldnt know but mention a certain car and they could tell you everything about it. im happy with just being outside and singing or playing the guitar. this is how i see the world: you go to school so you can get a job, so you can wake up 6 in the morning everyday, have no time to do what you enjoy, to get money, come home and do the same thing the everyday just so you can buy a couch to sit on while you get ready to go back to work.
I don’t know why. I guess we still believe that learning about U.S. history and Algebra are “important” somehow. Do I agree? Not necessarily. I just think no one has come up with a better way. My son (he’s 11) asks the same questions you do. Why am I learning this? Why is this important? He’s bored. But I say what all parents say. Yes, you have to do it. For now. After you graduate high school, the world is yours. College? Yes, if that’s what you want. It’s not for everyone. Learning a trade, going to the military, starting a business…those things have worked very well for friends of mine who knew that college was not for them…that getting up at 6 am and sitting at a desk all day was not for them. Your feelings are valid. Maybe that life isn’t for you. Keep asking questions, discovering who you are and what makes you happy. Then make your life decisions from that place. : )