âWhat you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.â ~Wolfgang von Goethe
I was one of the lucky few people that always knew what I wanted to do with my life when I was young.
Unfortunately, when the time came to pull the trigger and go full steam ahead toward my passion, I got talked out of the dream.
When I brought up what I wanted to do (Chinese Medicine) to people I knew, I saw them raise their eyebrows:
âChinese medicine? How much will you make when you graduate from medical school? Itâs not the same as a doctor right?â
âHow far in debt are you going to have to be for those loans?â
Or, this one:
âInterestingâŠâ
Itâs such an alarming feeling to share the biggest dream you have with people, and not having a single person cheer you on and say, âGo for it!â
Itâs such a strange, isolating feeling no longer being sure that your dream is somehow right.
Itâs an unsettling feeling that what you knew was right the entire time, might not have been right all along.
But ultimately we do know itâs rightâand sometimes the logical chatter of the mind talks us out of our heart.
For a long time after, I was pretty depressed and lost.
In fact, it took me almost half a decade of aimlessly wandering, floating around in a haze of unhappiness, to finally come back and honor what I wanted to do all along.
In retrospect, itâs not that surprising why I became so depressedâwhy nothing seemed to have any point or any purpose, and why I didnât like anything about my life.
My calling was there all along, and I ignored it because I listened to other people.
We all know someone thatâs been broken like this.
In fact, it seems like most people reside here their entire lives.
Day in, day out, itâs the same old same old.
When you talk with them, it seems like something is missingâfor lack of a better word, their spirit is missing. They look empty. They feel hollow.
Iâve noticed they donât feel alive. And honestly, just seeing this over and over in othersâand recognizing it in myselfâscared me.
As I began to âwake upâ a bit more and listen to myself, here were the three things that helped me dream again.
Three âSoul Wake Upâ Strategies
1. Do the five-minute coffee shop ritual.
The five-minute coffee shop ritual is simple: I would just let myself entertain the idea of my dream.
Hereâs what Iâd do. Iâd go to my favorite local spot, get a nice cup of tea or an espresso, pull out a white sheet of paper and a pen, and just write.
I would write down one thing: Whatâs the most incredible life I can imagine for myself?
I would take time to write out and visualize every aspect of that lifeâranging from what Iâd do every day, where Iâd live, how Iâd feel, how much Iâd make, who I would be with, etc.
I would write down and visualize as much about my dream life as possible.
The only reason for this ritual was one thing: giving myself permission to actually dream again, after having all my dreams subdued.
2. Do the ten-year check.
It can be incredibly discouraging to have someone tell you that your dream is impossible or not worth itâbut I would repeatedly ask myself one thing:
Is this person living the life I want to live, and ten years from now will taking their advice bring me to the life I want?
Overwhelmingly, I observed that the average person criticizing my dreams or telling me âit couldnât happenâ was someone that was already deeply unhappy with their own life.
So whenever someone would criticize me from then on, I asked myself if I would be willing to trade places with them. Did I see them as a happy, fulfilled, successful person?
If not, it was easy to ignore their advice.
3. Do some gut-living for twenty-four hours.
The final experiment I did for myself to âre-awakenâ was to do a twenty-four-hour gut living experiment.
It can be scary to tell yourself, âIâm going to do whatever my heart says no matter what,â so instead I told myself Iâd do it just for a day. Thatâs it.
So rather than waking up and being dominated by all the things I thought I should do, I only did the things I intuitively was drawn to.
After work, I would make sure on one specific day of the week to cancel whatever plans and obligations I had, and then would do whatever I intuitively was drawn to.
Again, this was just one day, so it wasnât like I was avoiding all my life responsibilities.
But just by going 100% with my gut, I noticed that I began to follow it a lot more in my life.
Over time, the life I really wanted began showing up.
Itâs such a sad circumstance that, overwhelmingly, the people that try to talk us out of our dreams are the ones who were talked out of theirs.
But just by following these three core strategies I was finally able to figure out what I loved again, and then have the guts to go for itâno matter what other people said.
It started with me having the courage to dream big againâto live with my intuition (even if only for twenty-four hours to start).
It started with imagining the biggest, most amazing life I could possibly dream up, and then taking the first baby step to make that really.
And finally, it started with me having 100% crystal clear faith that things would work out if I just kept taking baby steps, day after day, and just kept going.
So what are you waiting for? Get started!
Boy looking at stars image via Shutterstock
About Alexander Heyne
Alexander Heyne is the founder of Modern Health Monk, an integrative health site that shows parents and professionals how to lose weight in a healthy way and feel amazing by using the power of tiny habits. You can get his free guide on 5 daily habits to look and feel amazing right here.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
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There’s nothing with dreaming, especially when you can turn your dreams into reality.
My dream and goal is to become a Social Worker, and work at an adoption agency. I’m determined to put a family together, as well as providing resources. I want to make a difference in my own backyard. If my husband and I can’t conceive a child of our own, I’m open for adoption, regardless of race, gender and religion. Besides, my best friend keeps talking about wanting to be a godmother (I’m a godmother to her two children), my sister wants to be an aunt, and my mom REALLY wants grandchildren!!
I’m determined to keep my eyes on the prize. I don’t mind dreaming about my future, and that’s what keeps me motivated everyday. When I leave this Earth, I won’t have any regrets. I’ll prove to the world what I’m REALLY MADE OF.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Alexander.
I think I have not realized what my big ‘dream’ is. Or may be I did when I was a kid. I always wanted to be an astronomer but couldn’t. Destiny and your financial situation plays a big role. Now even if I try I cannot be an astronomer. That would require so much time and money that it is practically impossible. Now I am trying to find interests in other subjects. But the constant discouragements and rejections are just too much. Ultimately you are just human. How long you will hang on to one thing. I am not even sure whatever I am doing, why I am doing , what I want or even all the hard work worth it.
Hi Vid,
It took me a while to re-realize what I wanted to do too. Personally, I found that just by taking 30 minutes a day to explore something of interest to me really really helped quite a lot.
Love it LaTrice! Keep going after the dream đ
I love it! Good on you for persevering. I especially like your “gut living” tip. I’ll try that. đ
Such a beautiful post, Alexander! All creative folks know this drill really well. I can’t tell you how often I heard sentiments like the ones above, as I pursued my writing career. And at times, I have backed off of it. But it’s always been there, always been something I pursed. And now my second novel will be published in September. For all those folks who tell any dreamer you can’t do it, I say, “YES YOU CAN!”
Thank you for this!
Awesome read Alexander! Love it, I’m living my dream but was having a crap day and you reminded me exactly why I made such a massive shift to a new life. Cheers!
A powerful strategy to chase your dream is to do it exactly because everyone tells you it’s impossible.
When I graduated from the secondary school, I wanted to go to a certain college-like facility, which was regarded as very hard by my school teachers. I had a severe speech impediment, I was a foreigner and therefore several of the teachers told me to forget even thinking about that first-class college. One of the teachers got so emotional while talking me out of the dream that he – unintentionally – told me his ulterior motive. He tried to get into that college himself, when he was young and he failed.
But the more they told me not to attempt it, the more I wanted to. Finally, I not only got admitted into that college, but managed to get through it (5 years) and in those 5 years I always was in the top-3 people in the class. One of the main motivators in those 5 years were voices of my secondary school teachers telling me I wasn’t good enough for that college.
Hah, it happens to all of us at some point Dorene đ IMHO it doesn’t mean the journey will be easier – it’ll just be a heck of a lot more worth it.
Let me know how it works for you!
Dmitri,
“But the more they told me not to attempt it, the more I wanted to. Finally, I not only got admitted into that college, but managed to get through it (5 years) and in those 5 years I always was in the top-3 people in the class. One of the main motivators in those 5 years were voices of my secondary school teachers telling me I wasn’t good enough for that college.”
LOVE this story. I’ve also used motivation from other people telling me I “couldn’t do something.” Keep on crushing it
Thanks! I’m glad you liked it đ
Hello Vid,
I actually tried to respond to this before, but I made a mistake. I wanted to ask you whether you have considered studying in a foreign country? I *think* that tuition fees for foreign students were abolished in Germany, and there are ways to specialise in astronomy here. You’d have to do a B. Sc. in physics beforehand (E. g. the LMU (Ludwig-Maximilians-UniversitĂ€t MĂŒnchen (Munich)) offers this (and a Masters degree in astrophysics). You could as well do a minor of 15 credits in astronomy whilst pursueing the Bachelor’s degree, if you like. This way, you could specialise in this field? đ
As for the language requirements, part of the lectures / seminars are done in English language, and as for those in German, my mum (a German language teacher) offered to help you if you like. Or you could take a course at the university in German, if you want to? I’d have to look into this more, but I just wanted to say it is not necessarily impossible. đ Whatever you do, I wish you the best for your life path, and please don’t give up on your dreams!!
-Rina
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Dear Rina,
Thank you so much for this help and thanks a lot to your mom also. I will look for the course. I am learning German language now. Your response really made me to think again. I am actually giving up on my dream when I shouldn’t. Thanks a lot for the insight. Glad I shared my thoughts on this post.
Love,
Vid
LaTrice being a Social Worker is my life’s mission as well! But it took me a long time to figure that out. I don’t know why because I was Always a “Social Worker of sorts” whether I was helping, or finding resources, or giving of my time to family and friends. But still I for some crazy reason I couldn’t figure that out? Then people started to say to me “you should be a social work or councilor” or something. I think you would be really GREAT at it! ONLY then did the light bulb turn on!ha
I went to college and have a bachelor’s in Business. Which unfortunately I do “nothing” with! I NEVER had an interest in Business BUT guess what? I let a friend talk me into spending 41/2yrs. doing something that I KNEW I didn’t want to do!
At this point I want to live my life “on Purpose”! What God has place me here to do! I know that I’m destined to be in service of people BECAUSE I feel at my BEST when i’m helping other!!! I want to make a REAL difference in peoples lives! I want my work to satisfy me…after a long day of work I want to know that I gave my best!
I did take a baby step, I went to an information session. I was happy and excited then came “my stinking thinking”. These programs cost too much money! I already owe school loans as it is!The requirement don’t fit into my work schedule, etc. I’ve done this now for almost a year. And now I’ve started to “Dream Again”! I’m going to start off by doing a vision board and look at it every day! And I’ll take it baby steps from there! I know my dream is going to come to fruition one day! Best of luck to every one….and may ALL OF YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!
GREAT STORY Dmitri! This strategy also helped me out a great deal as well! I remember about 20 years ago, as a single mother trying to pull myself out of poverty. I went to my social worker at the public assistance office to inquire about a Computer Program. I wanted to increase my skills, get a good job, get off of welfare, so I could create a better life for my daughter and I.
I’ll NEVER forget the words he said to me. “Don’t waist my time, you will be just like all the others, you will never complete the program anyways”! WOW!!! I couldn’t believe that he was saying that to me! I was so hurt because I knew that I wanted to better myself! His words literally LIT A BURNING FIRE in me!!! I told him that not ONLY am I going to complete the program. I’m going to come back in there to show him my diploma as well!
Well of course I received my Diploma!ha But when I went back up there he was nowhere to be found. And it was ok because I was asked by the program to tell my personal story! And I told what happened to me to an audience of over 100 people and at the end of it I got a STANDING OVATION! After many people came to congratulate me on my success and said how much I motivated them to keep going! You have NO IDEA how much that meant to me! I’m tearing up a little as I’m writing this now.ha silly me.
I digress, so I’ve done many other things along my journey that I never thought that I would do. I went on to get out of poverty, move to a better neighborhood, college, so I’m doing a lot better these days!:) My daughter as a result did astronomical things as well! She is now a “Mechanical Engineer” in California and works at a Navy Base and is privy to Government National secrets!;)
Back then I didn’t see the “blessing” in Mr. Lincoln telling me I would “never” amount to anything. Because up to then, NO ONE had ever challenged me like that. But if the truth be told, most of the people I was around at that time was “broken” themselves. They didn’t expect much more out of their own lives than I had in mine. So had it not been for his words…who knows where I would have been now. All I know is, I’m thankful that it happened. I really believe that every thing in your life “happens for a reason”. Much thanks to Alexander for posting this…Love and Light…
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