“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” ~John Holmes
Have you ever been stressed and cranky and having a terrible day when someone was unexpectedly kind to you?
When this happens, it lifts your mood and changes your state of mind. You want to hold on to that feeling of goodwill. Maybe even pass it on.
Everyday Kindness
The Dalai Lama said, “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”
It is always possible, but it isn’t always easy. Sometimes acts of kindness for people in our lives can be more difficult than random acts of kindness for strangers. We all have people in our lives that are negative, grumpy, or angry. They make us feel negative, grumpy, and angry, too.
It helps if we remember that difficult people are usually incredibly unhappy. Something is making that person miserable. If we think about that and find compassion instead of letting negative emotions overpower us, it’s surprising how much easier it is to remain kind.
Real Benefits of Kindness
It’s scientifically proven that being kind makes us happy. Feeling compassion, laughing, touching, and hugging release oxytocin, a feel-good hormone.
Try this exercise: Pretend everyone is your friend. Treat them accordingly. When you’re in traffic and see someone trying to turn in, pretend the other driver is your friend. Pretend you know and like the person. Be friendly! Smile and wave them in ahead of you.
Kindness combats depression and even chronic pain. Studies show that pain, depression and disability all decrease after doing volunteer work.
Kindness also makes us live longer. We just learned how kindness makes us happy, and happy people are known to live longer lives!
When we are positive and kind, we spread goodwill and happiness. Don’t we want to be surrounded by goodwill and happiness rather than negativity?
Negative people are rarely kind. Kind people are rarely negative.
Heather and the Johnsons
Even though being kind is beneficial for ourselves, real kindness isn’t about us at all. It’s about thinking of others, having someone else on our minds and hearts.
The Johnsons are an amazingly, incredibly kind family. If I didn’t know them, I’d have a hard time believing this story:
Heather was a drunk driver. She ran through a stop sign at an intersection where Mike Johnson was heading home from work. She crashed into his truck. He was injured so severely that he was not expected to survive. But after several surgeries and many months of physical therapy, he recovered.
Mike and his wife Gene are such kind people, they not only forgave the intoxicated driver, but they also helped her and changed her life.
Heather was a very young woman going down a dangerous path of partying and drinking. She was arrested after the accident, and she was terrified of going to jail when it was time for her court hearing.
The young woman visited the hospital where Mike was supposedly dying. When the family noticed Heather there, they warmly welcomed her. Can you imagine that?
Heather said they consoled her. Mike and Gene’s adult children hugged her and told her it would be okay. They told her, “No one is perfect. We all make mistakes.”
Shortly after, Heather met Gene in the hospital. Heather was still expecting anger, screaming, and hatred. She knew she deserved them. But Gene hugged the girl and told her she forgave her. Heather said it was like “a 10,000 pound boulder was lifted off” her.
Heather decided to do something to help the Johnsons to try to give back to them. She organized a live music fundraiser and raised three thousand dollars for the Johnsons before her court hearing. Mike and Gene spoke on Heather’s behalf at the hearing for a reduced sentence for her.
The incredible, amazing kindness and forgiveness from the Johnsons changed Heather’s life completely. It changed her whole outlook and made her want to be a better person.
The Johnsons consider their pain a fair price for saving Heather from killing someone else, possibly herself.
They befriended her and visited her after her trial when she did go to jail. She is incarcerated for thirty-three months at a correctional facility in Florida, where she is keeping a journal of her past experience to inspire other young people towards responsible life choices.
We all want happier and better lives. To improve our lives, we have to improve ourselves first. Let’s choose to surround ourselves with goodwill and positive energy. Let’s commit to living lives of kindness, compassion, and forgiveness, resulting in a healthier and happier life for ourselves.
Do you have a story where someone else’s kindness affected or changed your life?
Photo by Heath Brandon
About Deborah Shelby
Deborah Shelby writes inspiration for a happier and better life on her blog http://prayerfulmom.com. She shares ideas for improving your outlook on life, your relationships at home with your kids, at work or in your spiritual life. She is a full-time working mom who enjoys life with her two teens whenever she can.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
This is incredibly humbling. To think that loving kindness can be that powerful is amazing. I likey to think I would respond the same way, but if I’m going to be honest, I probably wouldn’t. But this encourages me to be kinder to the people who aren’t as kind to me. Even in everyday situations that aren’t as catatrosphic as the one you described could be a start for me. It’s so easy to be in your own little bubble and feel as if an unkind gesture from someone else was targeted at you when really it was just their general attitutde towards the world– nothing personal. Even then, it takes a lot of mindful practice to change that. THank you for sharing this.
love the Dalai Lama quote. Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Great post thank you!
Thanks so much, Esther! That is actually my favorite quote of all time.
Thank you, Mariel. Like you, I try also, but I doubt I could have been as kind and forgiving to Heather as my friend Gene was either. I don’t think I would have been ugly about it, but I probably would have refused to see or speak to the girl. However, after the Johnson’s real-life example, I think they have helped me become a better person for having known them.
Fantastic post!! Thank you for sharing this inspiring story! So often we jump to the conclusion that someone that makes a mistake, especially like that is all of a sudden not human. Thank you for the reminder that forgiveness, compassion, and kindness are SO VERY IMPORTANT! I also value the exercise you mentioned about acting as tho everyone on the road, etc is a friend of yours, and treat them as such, 🙂 Thank you for this beautiful written reminder! 🙂
Thank you so much!
You also made a very good point that we sometimes treat a person who makes a terrible mistake like Heather did like they’re suddenly no longer human. That’s so unfair, especially because most of us have probably gotten behind the wheel a little tipsy at some time or other in our lives and were just lucky or blessed enough to be spared from hurting someone ourselves.
I admire the family. Huge hearts <3
I would love to know more information about the quote on the poster hanging in front of the building. Where is it and who wrote it?
Thank you. Yes, I agree. They are always the first to jump in to help anyone they can.
Bonnie, I’m sorry I can’t answer your question completely. The image came from Flickr.com, and was contributed by Heath Brandon. The photo credit is at the bottom of the post, but it doesn’t actually give the info for where and who wrote the sign.
Bonnie, I googled Martin Kernfeld, whose name is written (signed?) at the bottom of the sign, but no info came up. Sorry.
Thank you for sharing this story of compassion & empathy….its also so true about even the most simplest acts of kindness from even a total stranger can change our whole day which may otherwise have been a very gloomy one; I can remember so many times that it had happened to me. However, I have to disagree with…. “Negative people are rarely kind. Kind people are rarely negative.” I know a number of people that may be more on the pessimistic side, but can be quite the generous and kind people!
Yes, simple kindness from others always makes me feel better and brightens my day too, especially when it’s unexpected.
You make a good point. Perhaps I could have worded it better about kindness being more often associated with positive, happy people. I didn’t mean to imply that negative people cannot be kind! Better yet, perhaps I should have left that bit out completely. I appreciate the constructive criticism to help me be more careful in the future.
Yes, simple kindness from others always makes me feel better and brightens my day too, especially when it’s unexpected.
You make a good point. I didn’t mean to imply that negative people cannot be kind! Just that kindness more often originates from positive, happy people.
I appreciate the constructive criticism.
No problem…Personally, I believe kindness originates more from having a good heart, rather than someone’s outlook on life being positive or negative. Happiness is a choice & being an optimistic person can make a huge difference in that, but sometimes an individual can be quite negative about themselves due to self-esteem &/or other factors in their life, but can still be very generous & kind towards other people. None the less, the story of ‘Johnsons & Heather,’ was quite inspiring….
Deborah we didn’t do anything special who are we to not forgive when Jesus died for our own sins and forgave Mike and I. We try to live our lives as examples to others of Gods forgiviness and try to help others and show God’s love. We love Heather and her family and it changed all of our lives and this story continues to change and help others. Thank you for the beautiful piece you wrote I hope it touches lives to help them also. love you Gene Johnson
Gene, how lovely of you to comment on the piece I wrote about about you! You and Mike are very special. It’s amazing you are able to say you love Heather and her family. I know you never met until the tragedy she was responsible for. You are an inspiration to all of us!