“What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.” ~Ralph Marston
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been an anxious person. My grandfather died when I was four years old and some of my earliest memories consist of panic attacks whenever I was left alone. In my mind, I had to keep my loved ones in sight at all times, so there would be no chance of them disappearing, just as my grandpa did.
From that point on, I slowly began to overcome my fears of separation from family. However, new anxieties began to take its place. Whether I was nervous about meeting new people or panicking over unexpected change, my anxiety was all consuming and seemingly endless, without an outlet.
Somewhere in my senior year of high school, a friend suggested that I should start exercising to relieve some stress. The first day in the gym was a source of anxiety in itself. Between checking in, finding an open machine, and deciding what to do next, the entire process was entirely overwhelming.
For a while, I was too nervous to step foot in the gym without a friend with me because I was too scared to be left alone with my thoughts for too long.
Separation from familiar people is a scary thing in a time where you’re constantly connected no matter where you are. You can be standing on a mountaintop seemingly alone, but with thousands of people in your pocket.
With this being the new reality, any time of time to yourself can be a source of anxiety.
Eventually, I learned that being alone sometimes is a good thing. Each day I would step outside of my comfort zone and try something new. Some days it would be a walk around the block with only my dog and some silence. Other days, it was taking a yoga class by myself.
Some of my challenges were harder than others. I found that taking classes in my gym enabled me to ease into workouts on my own.
Although some days were successful, on others I would have serious setbacks. The worst of these was abandoning my workout because I knew someone who was working out and I was too embarrassed to complete my workout with them there.
After years of being mocked for my lack of coordination, I feared judgment and began to feel that all eyes were on me during every move I made.
Somewhere along the line I had a major realization: Only I can make myself happy. Stressing over a situation will in no way change it, and being self-conscious in the gym definitely wouldn’t get me in shape.
While this realization pushed me to keep going, it didn’t resolve all of my fears. In the beginning I would still worry about what others thought and spend time stressing over every situation that was slightly outside of my comfort zone.
Even though I realized that I had to make a change, I also realized that I wouldn’t do it overnight.
Small steps on a daily basis gradually enabled me to be more comfortable with myself, both inside the gym and out. I slowly became more confident and frequently engaged in more situations that I never before imagined doing.
At the beginning, my exercise was meant as means to relieve stress but only ended up causing more. I think this is because I didn’t do it for the right reasons. I sought out exercise as a cure-all that would wipe away my problems with only a few visits to the gym.
Over time I began to see exercise for its greater meaning. It could be a short-term reliever of anxiety, but it was a life long journey toward better health. As soon as I started to see it that way, my fear diminished.
This journey forced me to try to be a little better each and every day, to be stronger mentally and physically than I’ve ever been before.
Many people think of exercise as a way to strengthen your body and calm your mind. Over time I realized that wasn’t what I needed. I needed to strengthen both my body and mind, and I had to do so through challenging both.
I could have easily have gotten in shape in my basement as many others do, but that would not have challenged my anxious mind. I would have felt safe and calm in the confines of my comfort zone.
The best thing I ever did was get that gym membership and force myself to get there. It not only led to a love of physical activity, but it also led to a feeling of confidence that I had never before experienced.
Anxiety is a tough thing to deal with. It makes you feel guilty and scared, and it can keep you from doing things you love.
While my anxiety never truly went away, it no longer controls or defines me. The best way to reduce the impact it has on you is to try your hardest to step outside of your comfort zone whenever you can.
Even though it feels frightening at first, doing a little more each day can help make it seem less overwhelming. Over time, you’ll be able to do things you never knew were possible. Time and effort will make your journey easier and lessen the burden of your struggle.
For me, making the active decision to push myself is what got me through the worst of my anxieties.
Now, when anxiety tries to challenge me, I know that I’m the stronger one.
Photo by istolethetv

About Melissa Colleary
Melissa Colleary is an English major at Long Island University. She spends time drawing awareness to body image issues and writing about her search for mental and physical health. She blogs at www.thekbfairy.com.
Thanks so much for this Melissa! I suffer from anxiety as well, and have gone through a similar journey (with my workout routine even!), and you’re right, pushing myself, and coming out of my comfort zone is really helpful. For me, I try to tell myself not to have too many life regrets because of my anxiety. To be brave and face it, so that I can live life. It’s hard, and sometimes uncomfortable, but it’s worth it. I hope, like you, my anxiety will lessen to the point where it will no longer controls or defines me. In the meantime, I’ll keep stepping outside my comfort zone!
Beautiful.
It’s funny how I thought I was the only one with anxieties about going to the gym. I do go sometimes, but that anxiety and fear that someone thinks I look funny because I can’t lift properly or use the machine the right way is still there. With that set aside, I was actually thinking about this whole idea of stepping outside your comfort zone this morning as I was getting ready for work. The bravest thing I ever did (especially being soooo shy growing up) was trying out for a lead character in a musical. Heck, I can’t sing to save my life, but I practiced. Granted, I probably sounded like a screeching tire during tryouts, but the fact that I did it, really made a difference. Looking back now, I realize that if I can do that, I can really do anything if I really set my fears aside and “just do it.”
Thank you for the article. I am facing anxiety at my new job right now. I was in journalism for 12 years and am now in an internal communications role in an IT company. It was and still is overwhelming because the working culture is so different. So this article resonates with what I am facing now. I like that you emphasize the importance of leaving your comfort zone and to challenge your anxiety in order to overcome it. To calm myself, I tell myself to just “show up” and see what happens. Nothing bad has happened yet. I think it also helps to tell yourself that you will likely fail the first time you try something. And anyone who expects perfection from a newbie is being unrealistic. You only get better with time and practice. That helps to keep my anxiety in check.
Change can be so overwhelming sometimes! When I first started going to the gym I used to tell myself that I only had to stay for 15 minutes, and if I still was anxious after that amount of time I could leave. Usually by the time the 15 minutes were up I had forgotten all about my fears! Maybe that will help with work too!
I’m so glad that you relate to feeling anxious about the way you look in the gym. I think the most freeing thing is the day you finally realize that everyone is too occupied to really notice what you’re doing, so they can’t possibly judge! Super impressed with your trying out for a musical. Anyone who can get up in front of people and perform has a ton of courage and that should never be overlooked!
I’m so glad that you found this helpful! I love your outlook about living life despite anxiety. Sometimes it feels like a never ending spiral where you don’t do something because you get anxious, then you get anxious because you didn’t do what you truly wanted to do. With a life outlook like that, you’ll definitely get to the point where it no longer controls or defines you!
Good thoughts. I’ve been having a lot of anxiety lately, which I don’t think I used to have so much as a kid, so it’s new and scary (which leads to meta-anxiety where I’m anxious ABOUT my anxiety), so this is a good reminder.
The trick is to always know where the anxiety, fear, sadness is coming from. Once you know, the awareness makes it slowly go away. It can also be feeling where the anxiety is;knots in the stomach, headache, fatigue, etc. But always know you’re NOT alone…share!
My big anxiety is security & with this economy…I’m definitely not alone!!
Yes, this is it exactly! Knowing where the anxiety is rooted is important but even more vital is digging deep to expose it. Listening to those voices in your head that try to limit you is a good start. Then ask yourself–What story have I created in attempt to protect myself? During this process, feel all of those feelings (guilt, sadness, anger, hurt, shame) so you can begin to let go of them; once you have exposed the anxiety is loses is power over you. As Melissa mentioned, it may never go away completely but the key is living with awareness!!
It’s must be a diligent practice, Harmony,like meditation. Lots of inner voices are just imaginary(although anxiety about making a payment due date is REAL!)I learned that when a feeling happens, the THOUGHT occurs first. That’s what happens in anger management. It’s training your emotions to go on slow motion. Sure you’ve had moments saying Boy, if I had thought about it….well, train now! Lapses will occur but keep working at it…nothing to lose!
“when anxiety tries to challenge me, I know that I’m the stronger one” +1 to that 🙂
“when anxiety tries to challenge me, I know that I’m the stronger one” +1 to that 🙂 Even I am fighting with anxiety lately which has constantly screwed my work. I practice regular meditation to keep my mind still.
Mindfulness meditation has also been found to be helpful for both anxiety and depression:
http://www.healthline.com/health-news/mental-meditation-as-effective-as-medication-for-depression-010614
Thank you for the article! I can totally feel how you feel. I just moved to a new country, I feel stressful everyday and don’t want to do anything. I hope I could find the courage like yours soon.