“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” ~Jim Rohn
For years I dreamed of leaving the winters of Northern Ontario, Canada and basking in the warm golden sun somewhere in Central America from October to May. I would joke with my co-workers every winter “This is my last winter here, I swear!”
I did that for years until finally, one year, it was my last winter there. But it wasn’t because it was the most brutal winter we had experienced so far. Oh no. It was much more than that.
Rewind Back to 2012
I had just walked out of my eight-year abusive relationship. I was beaten down, ripped apart, and left as a shell of a woman. I had nothing to my name materialistically or emotionally. Very few belongings and no self-respect, self-worth, self-love, or self-confidence.
I left empty and numb. But at that time, it didn’t matter to me what I had or didn’t have. All I knew was that in order to preserve what little sanity I had left, I had to leave.
Rebuilding my life took a lot of time. I had just declared bankruptcy and didn’t have two cents to rub together. With the amazing help of family and friends, I was able to get a job, find an apartment, furnish it, albeit very simply, and start my life over again.
I was fifty-one years old. And scared out of my tree. I have never lived alone, ever, and wasn’t sure I could support myself or how I was going to live.
My Journey out of Despair
After I left my relationship I delved into the world of personal development. I needed to get my hands on things that were going to help me improve my life. I read eBooks and self-help blogs and watched YouTube videos by some of the greatest people on earth (Les Brown, Tony Robbins, Lisa Nichols, etc.)
I had hundreds of Post-it notes with motivational quotes and sayings taped all over my tiny apartment. I read them aloud every chance I could. I had a lot of healing to do and was willing to do whatever I had to do in order to heal.
I was broken, empty, and numb and I knew I had a purpose here on earth—and it wasn’t to be miserable for the rest of my life. I was not interested in subscribing to that life anymore.
And then something wonderful happened….
I Found Home in a Homeless Shelter
One day I was having a conversation with someone I had just met, and they told me they volunteered at the homeless shelter and how amazing it was.
I was all ears then. I wanted to know who, what, where, when, and why. All of it.
The next day I found myself there applying to become a volunteer. And suddenly I had something to look forward to that took me out of my misery, helped me to forget my troubles, and opened my eyes to a whole new world.
The volunteering gig, I soon discovered, was a huge part of my healing journey. I had no idea how my whole world was about to change simply by feeding homeless people dinner twice a month.
I fell in love with these people. Each and every one of these broken, lost souls filled my heart with immense joy. It was here that all my troubles disappeared and my heart opened up.
The more I helped, the happier I became, and I suddenly realized what my purpose was in life. It was right here with the poor, the broken, the helpless, and the hungry.
Fast Forward to 2014
Every day I became stronger and happier. I started falling in love with Iva. I found a new Iva. One who had something to look forward to. A woman who, once broken and beaten, was coming alive and had a zest for life.
One year after I started volunteering at the homeless shelter, I became team captain and was there almost daily.
But part of me still wanted more. I wanted to help more on a personal level and somewhere poverty, homelessness, and malnutrition was prevalent. I drifted back to my dream of going to Central America and suddenly had a major a-ha moment.
If I could just find a way to support myself down there, I could go. Once again, I delved into the personal development world but this time with a different goal in mind. I was going to learn how to become a freelance writer so I could make this dream possible.
But it was two dreams now: escape Canadian winters and help the hungry.
Suddenly the Dream Became a Reality
After much research, and submitting numerous amounts of guest blogs for free, I finally found a job as a freelance writer. It took me eight months of cutting hair for nine hours a day and writing for free for three to four hours a day, but I finally did it.
In July of 2015 I resigned from my hairstyling job and had become a full-time freelance writer. The next step was to downsize, find a country in Central America, and move.
It was all happening so fast. It seemed like just yesterday I was leaving my abusive relationship, and here I was looking at third world countries to move to.
I was scared, excited, terrified, and finally happy. I had a new lease on life, and this lease didn’t just include me anymore. It was bigger than that.
But I Realized Something Very Big and Important
In October of 2015 I landed in Guatemala with two suitcases on a one-way ticket. I was terrified but knew I had to be here.
I found organizations that needed help and found families on my own that I helped independently. I helped people on the streets, bought lunch for the young shoeshine boys, and sent kids to school.
I loved life in the third world. It was simple, people were beautiful, and I was finally happy and at peace with my past and the traumatic life I had lived.
That’s when I realized one very important thing: When we help others, we help ourselves. Through helping others we create deep connections, which helps prevent depression; we find a renewed sense of purpose; and, research shows, we reduce our stress level and boost our happiness.
I realized that volunteering was the best thing I could have ever done for myself during my healing journey.
When we take ourselves out of our own heads and lives and put ourselves in a place that not only rocks our comfort zone but gives us a chance to serve others, that’s when true healing occurs.
That doesn’t have to mean moving to a third-world country or making any major changes. It can be as simple as volunteering for an hour once a week, or even once a month—or even just helping friends and neighbors in need.
We heal by helping others. By bringing joy to others. And by sharing our stories of change, courage, and bravery.
It’s four years later and I’m still in Guatemala, still helping and still growing personally. I don’t think I could ever move back to Canada. Living here has brought ridiculous joy to my life and so much love to my heart.
It’s changed me in ways I never dreamed possible. And I couldn’t be happier.
About Iva Ursano
Iva is a self-help blogger from Ontario Canada who now resides in Guatemala. Her two goals in life are to inspire people around the world with her blogs and to feed hungry little bellies in the poor town she calls home. Sign up for weekly inspiration here or check out her self-help eBooks You Are Amazing. Her new course “The 21 Day Challenge” is now available. Use coupon code TINYBUDDHA for $60 off!!
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.
Happy for you Iva, I’m living in a third world country too. Thank you for your article, it makes me love my country even more. 🙂
Unfortunately, this post comes off as tone deaf. It looks like it was previously posted on Facebook with a slightly different title, but then it was removed and some of the language was changed. However, I think it still has so many issues. In summary, the main perspective of this article is off. Homeless people and people from third world countries/ developing nations aren’t there for your own personal development. This article treats these communities as a means to an end, the end being their own personal growth. It doesn’t address the complexity of these people or treat them as whole individuals. I’ve volunteered a lot and worked with a lot of different communities, and I don’t think the major takeaway from those experiences should be your own personal growth. The enormity of the issues these communities face is so much bigger than any one individual. Moreover, as Westerners, we have tremendous privilege and we should acknowledge that privilege especially when living in a developing community that has been ravaged by colonialism, imperialism and globalism. If there is a platform to talk about service, then it should speak to the issues these communities face and the need for justice. It shouldn’t talk about communities in need in such a dismissive and diminished way, where their struggles are illustrated as the background to someone else’s spiritual and personal growth. Real systemic change needs to be made for these communities and that should never take a backseat for someone’s personal story.
Thanx Ann! What country are you living in?
Hi Iva, I’m from Manila, Philippines. I think we are miles away from each other. Sending my virtual hugs to you. 🙂
Thank you for your comment and I’m sorry it has left a bad taste in your mouth. We heal our pain in different ways and through healing comes growth. It doesn’t matter where this healing or growth comes from, as long as it happens. For me, it happened in Guatemala. I’m simply sharing my story and encouraging others to look outside of the box for healing opportunities.
I have nothing against someone finding healing and growth by moving to another country or by looking outside the box. If you had spoken about the beauty of Guatemala’s landscape or traditions or celebrations there, we’d be having a different discussion. However, you chose to focus on the poverty in that region. I don’t think that anytime we volunteer we should be patting ourselves on our backs because in reality we are just lucky that we were born in a Western country that was not damaged and ravaged by imperialism and globalism. We easily could be in their situations but we’re not, by pure luck. When people volunteer, they should challenge themselves with questions like, “How did this happen to this community? Why is this community in this situation? What can be done to alleviate it?” When we ask ourselves those questions, then we see the systemic issues these communities face and really our actions of volunteering are like a drop in the bucket compared to the enormity of the problems they are forced to face. That’s why to me, it is disheartening to see a post about volunteering and service where the perspective is skewed to celebrate the volunteer instead of focusing on these bigger issues that need to be addressed. I’m not against healing but I am against framing the injustice these communities face in this way.
hello Iva, that’s how life is, always surprises us when we want something badly the Almighty shows us the way to go and choose the correct path and it is a great thing to give back to less-fortunate ones in life.
I do agree Volunteering gives us the way to cherish our life the problem which we face seems so minute one.
Also Volunteering give us a golden opportunity to network with like minded individual who are all giving to the society.
If possible do visit India we shall plan something great.
Eagerly waiting for your reply IVA!!
OMG! Please get off your high horse SiLin! 90 percent of the problems facing third countries ARE NOT because of capitalism, imperialism,etc. It’s corrupt leaders who totally screw over the people and there is nothing the people can do about it! Iva did not say Guatemala was a pathetic hell hole and she felt divinely inspired to save it’s citizens. See what I mean? Stop trying to the boogie man around every corner and what you read!
Also it fuels the misconception that these communities cannot help themselves and that they are being “saved”by Westerners. I don’t want to take away from the help the author has provided families in need but if that action is going to be framed in this way and brought to a wider audience, it has to be pointed out that it is inappropriate to skew the perspective into celebrating the volunteer. This is because there has to be a level of humility when it comes to service especially when you grasp the enormity of the problem developing communities face.
Actually developing countries face many problems, bad leadership, history of colonization, exploitation due to globalism, geographic issues, climate change, etc. Also bad leadership thrives in countries that have been exploited due to colonization, imperialism and globalism. Your point is invalid because it is a shallow understanding of the complexity of the problem. It is not just because of corrupt leaders. That’s why it’s inappropriate for a developing country to be the backdrop of a self-realization story. If you like to read, I’d encourage you to read 1491 by Charles C. Mann, The White Man’s Burden by William Easterly, Lies my Teacher Told Me by James W. Loewen, Babaylan by Leny Mendoza Strobel. Many organizations have been established because of this understanding that our current system exploits developing countries, the most known one being the fair trade movement. However, there are even more very effective worker movements over generations that truly tackle the issues developing countries have faced. In my personal opinion colonization and imperialism are the roots to why these countries face such dire circumstances. We are not taught this in history but these “developing countries” were thriving nations once. The Incan Emprie is arguably the greatest and largest ancient civilization. (Source 1491 by Mann) and countries like the Philippines were a collection of thriving kingdoms (Source Babaylan By Mendoza Strobel). In many of these countries the arrival of invaders precipitated decades of exploitation and even in many cases annihilation. The histories of these well thriving kingdoms are buried in the past, carried on only by the few who endeavor to explore it. Unfortunately the author is dabbling into these histories and inserting herself in not the best way. “Voluntourism” can be harmful to these communities because it fuels these misconceptions that there is “nothing we can do” like you said above, and that these communities are helpless. (They are not!) But a truer more holistic understanding of the issues these communities face can drive people to support worker movements, organizations like the Fair World Project, and indigenous driven movements who do make real impacts on these communities. I’m not against the author healing but it is inappropriate to use the poverty in this region as a background to that journey because it does fuel misconceptions about these communities and perpetuates the abuses they suffer due to globalism. William Easterly writes in The White Man’s Burden about a lot of well-intentioned programs and people and how those endeavors were fruitless or harmful because they didn’t appreciate the complexity of the issues the communities face. That’s all I’m saying.