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The winners:
Have you noticed there are certain things you can’t do as easily as you could when you were younger? Have you ever felt resistant to the inevitable changes that come with age? Have you put thought into your own mortality?
And have you considered that perhaps all of this can contribute to a greater sense of spirituality?
Buddhist author and teacher Lewis Richmond tackles these questions and more in his book Aging as a Spiritual Practice: A Contemplative Guide to Growing Older and Wiser.
Although I am in my thirties and not yet approaching my senior years, I was interested to read this book because I often feel this desire to cling to youth, coupled with a fear of what it will be like when it inevitably slips away.
I appreciated Richmond’s refreshing perspective on the benefits of growing older, and his honesty about his own experiences with illness, aging, and transformation.
From the book jacket:
Incorporating illuminating facts from scientific researchers, doctors, and psychologists on aging’s various challenges and rewards; Richmond explores the tandem of maintaining a healthy body and healthy relationships infused with an active spiritual life. Using this information, we can pay attention to our own experience of aging through the lens of our emotions, and adapt accordingly, inspiring opportunities for a joy that transcends age.
The Giveaway
To enter to win one of three free copies of Aging as a Spiritual Practice:
1. Leave a comment below.
2. Tweet: RT @tinybuddha GIVEAWAY and Interview: Aging as a Spiritual Practice http://bit.ly/wgW7zs
If you don’t have a Twitter account, you can still enter by completing the first step. You can enter until midnight PST on Friday, January 20th.
The Interview
1. In many ways, we live in a youth-driven culture. Do you think this has affected our ability to embrace aging, and recognize and appreciate the benefits?
Yes, to some extent. When I did my early research for the book, I found that most of the books about aging were actually about postponing aging—exercise, diet, yoga, cosmetics, and so on. This emphasis mirrors the consumer culture which advertises these remedies to older people, who then internalize the message that it is important to stay and look young as long as possible.
The honoring of elderhood as an important life stage both for oneself and for one’s community is a legacy of a previous era—though I think it is coming back, and I hope to contribute to that renaissance.
2. What are some of the other factors that contribute to our fear of aging?
Fear of illness, fear of death, fear of dementia, fear of being poor—these were all known by ancient Buddhist writers as universal “great fears,” at a time when the average life expectancy was probably 35.
So it is natural to fear these things, but it is also possible to courageously face up to them and not let them have the last word. Each adversity brings opportunity, each fear offers gifts.
I try to strike that balance in the book. Research shows that flexibility is a key ingredient for the success of the “extraordinary elderly”—people who do not let their worries and fears stop them from enjoying life to the fullest.
3. What, would you say, are the some of the benefits of growing older?
In the book I cite a large research study concluding that on the whole people in their fifties and sixties are less stressed than people in their thirties. The study of 300,000 people was adjusted for socio-economic status, finances, gender, race, religion and many other things, so this result is real.
Why, the researchers asked? They had no firm answer, but they suspected that it was because people who have lived longer have more experience dealing with adversity. Life experience is a hard-won treasure; there is no shortcut to it.
My own respondents cited many other benefits—freedom to wear what they wanted, grandchildren, travel, pursuing long-deferred dreams, giving back to community. I would add to this list the perspective to contemplate spiritual values and the deep meaning of it all.
4. What advice would you offer to someone is struggling to embrace aging in fear of being devalued by society?
I would say, “Don’t let others define you. Be who you are.” Or as my Buddhist teacher Shunryu Suzuki often said, “Stand on your own two feet.”
Also, enjoy the friends you have and don’t hesitate to make new ones. Friendships of long standing are a powerful bastion against the facile opinions of a youth-obsessed society.
5. In your book, you wrote about coming to terms with the irreversible changes that age brings—things we lose that we simply can’t get back. While this is true for all of us, some people seem to accept this more readily without letting it lead to bitterness and depression. What do you think enables some people to accept this, while others resist and grieve their former selves?
There is a good deal of scientific research about this which I cite in my book. Optimism turns out to be somewhat genetically pre-determined, but it can also be cultivated, even by lifelong pessimists.
To some extent the Buddhist-oriented contemplative exercises I offer in the book are partly a means to cultivate optimism. “Reframing”—the capacity to see a difficult situation in a more positive light—is a measurable factor for increased happiness as you grow older.
If your bad knee means you can’t jog anymore, take up swimming! Or more deeply, rather than dwelling on the losses of aging, focus on its fresh opportunities. I interviewed many professionals—doctors, nurses, geriatric specialists, psychiatrists—who make this approach the main focus of therapy for their elderly patients. They tell me it really works.
6. You also explored how elders formerly had certain roles to play in society, such as passing on stories, sharing wisdom, and caring for their community’s children—roles that are less relevant in our modern culture. Do you believe that creating a strong internal sense of purpose is an essential part of healthy aging?
I firmly believe that “elderhood” is innate, and I tell several true elderhood stories to illustrate that. In other words, elderhood is designed to awaken in us at the very time we and our community need it.
I think the wisdom aspect of all religions—Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity, Hinduism, and others—come out of this lore of elderhood, passed down through innumerable generations.
At one time the community recognized elderhood in all its facets and honored it. Now each of us has more responsibility to create our own domain of elderhood. That’s one of the reasons I wrote the book, to offer tools for that.
7. What are the main ways in which aging can actually help us deepen our sense of spirituality?
Aging means, first and foremost, the growing awareness that our time is limited, that everything we love and care about, including our precious selves, is destined to pass away.
One of the main things Buddhism teachers is that this need not be a depressing realization. On the contrary, knowing our own and others’ fragility is a great gift aging brings, because we can clearly see how precious everything is, and how important it is to take care of what we have.
Aging is also a time for a more patient, quiet life—a natural environment for a spiritual and contemplative attitude. That’s why each chapter of my book offers a contemplative exercise, and the last three chapters describe a “day away”—a guided one-day personal retreat.
8. In your book, you shared some of your own experiences dealing with illness and facing death. What are the top lessons you’ve learned about coming to terms with our own mortality?
I had cancer when I was 36, and a brain infection at 52 which no doctor thought I could survive. From a medical point of view I am a walking miracle. I still wake up every morning with a sense that I am lucky to be here at all. That is the great gift of my otherwise terrible illnesses.
Another gift is how I can help others who are ill; they come to me and consult me simply because I have been there. These days I do not fear death. For two weeks I was in a death coma, though I was aware and conscious inside my head. I had no fear there. I felt comforted and filled with light.
At one level my illnesses and their long recoveries took 8 or 10 years out of my life. At another level they have been my greatest teacher. Would I like those 8 or 10 years back? People ask me that and I have no answer. We only live once.
9. What is the main message you hope readers take from Aging as a Spiritual Practice?
I want people to come away from the book feeling good about growing old. I have blog respondents who say things like “Aging sucks. It’s terrible. The wrinkles, the fatigue. I hate it!”
OK, I understand. But read the book. I acknowledge that point of view; I have a whole chapter about it. The bad stuff is not the whole story. The whole story is far richer, it is the tapestry of the whole human adventure, start to finish.
Our species has been birthing, living, aging, and dying for perhaps a million years. We know how to do a whole life and that wisdom is written into our hearts and our DNA. Look within, all that knowledge is there. Look without, and see the whole human community traversing this terrain together.
One thing we get to learn as we live out the fullness of our life is how important love is. Focus on that, and aging is not so bad, really. In fact, it’s pretty good!
You can learn more about Aging as a Spiritual Practice on Amazon.
FTC Disclosure: I receive complimentary books for reviews and interviews on tinybuddha.com, but I am not compensated for writing or obligated to write anything specific. I am an Amazon affiliate, meaning I earn a percentage of all books purchased through the links I provide on this site.

About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Sounds like a fabulous book!
What a lovely giveaway, Looks like it would be a wonderful read. Tweeted your giveaway too.
I’m aging. I can’t say I’m doing it gracefully or as a meditation. I just get up and go through the day as it comes.
What a great interview and giveaway! It came at such a perfect time for me too. Here’s hoping I win a copy of this wonderful book. 🙂 Thanks for the chance!
Rapidly approaching 50. Not sure what I think about it. This book sounds like it might sway me to feel good about it. Thank you for offering this giveaway.
With age comes transformation; of the body, mind, ideas and perceptions. It’s wonderful to also think of the spiritual revolution that can be achieved through the ageing process, with the wisdom gained of many experiences. As my body is showing the signs of age now, I know that a lot of what I have thought to be important in life is actually trivial. It would be wonderful to read your book and I thank you for the opportunity to enter for a copy.
I turn 40 this year. Not really old but it is something so many women (and men, too, I suppose) fight. I’m actually a bit excited to get older and want to approach aging without fear. I love the idea of approaching it as a spiritual practice.
I am very intrigued by the section on coming to terms with irreversible change. Although I am only 45 I have had 4 cervical spine surgeries in the past three years, and don’t know whether I will ever be able to work in my field (nursing) again. I try to be optimistic, but it’s quite possible my life has changed irreversibly, and I have no idea how to deal with that.
I love this – “If your bad knee means you can’t jog anymore, take up swimming! Or more
deeply, rather than dwelling on the losses of aging, focus on its fresh
opportunities.”
I think that is how we should live everyday no matter what our age. I’d like to read this one.
This was fascinating; thank you — and I would love to read this book, too. I’m in my 30s, so not “old” by any means, but I have an “old” outlook on life — as if my mind is waiting for my body to catch up — so reading this was very refreshing. I’ve retweeted you, too.
Hi, I just turned 58, I look forward to reading this book
I think this would be interesting to read.
what a great way to think about aging with grace…
I am also thoroughly intrigued by this book- just what we need in the culture we live in. This would be a great book to lend to friends too.
I am interesting in this as I am aging as I am assisting my aging parent
I am 56 and when I think about the time I have before me as opposed to the life I have already lived, I get a bit scared. But it is a gift to age, to be alive I know that truly. All the best, Deborah
I know the extraordinary aging people talked about and the pessimistic older person like my mother. I so don’t want to become like that. At 58, I am now facing two surgeries on my wrist. I am a dental hygienist and am worried I may no longer be able to do my job as well. I am focusing on being ok with that and being happy with what life brings me. I think reading this book would really help me on my journey of aging.
I would like to have that book,not only for me,but for my mother who is in her seventies.
I need this book. OMG, I have irrational fears of growing older and not being marketable in the workforce, not being able to earn a living, not being able to send my son to college. This economy and being without a job is very stressful. I think my hair is falling out. I can’t seem to get enough viatmins, water or sleep.
I know….Breathe……
But I think I am about to hyperventilate.
I have
fibromyalgia and my doctor said to do some sort of activity during the day for
a 1/2 hour. I decided I would close the door to my office at work and
dance. I made a play list, turned it on…and could only get through 10
minutes!!!! I can remember when I used to dance the night away in my
teens and 20’s. The good news is that now that I’m on the later side of
my 40’s, instead of getting discouraged, I just worked a little harder each
time, knowing, from experience, that I can push through just about
anything. It’s been 2 weeks and I’m up to 25 minutes. I also find
what I’m losing in physical abilities, I’m gaining in mental abilities. As
I’ve aged, my practice has deepened and I’m able to stay on the cushion a bit
longer. that’s pretty cool.
Thank you for the opportunity to recieve this book.
A very insightful article. If I dont win on of the books, I will buy it and read it. I am 72 and dont feel old most days. I dont like to be called elderly. But Extraordingar Elderly sounds much better. I will strive for that, Thank you
I recently had the opportunity to spend serious time in a hospital and then in a rehab center after breaking my femur bone. Everyone around me was saying things like, it’s tough getting old. I have a belief that Life is Good and that when you look, you can find the good in everything. I see aging as a spiritual gift for growth. So, profound thanks for this insightful work. I promise to tell all my readers about it as well and will repost this for them on http://www.midlifemessages.com Thanks again. Dr. Toni
As I approach mid-life and look to embrace the time of the Crone, this book looks like it would be incredibly helpful.
I would love to win this and gift it to my mom!! Thanks for the opportunity and the introduction- feeling lucky, but if I don’t win I think I just may buy it for her!!!;)
I am afraid of growing old. This book sounds like a wonderful way to perceive more than my fear.
Thanks for this incredible opportunity to win this book. Much gratitude on this end as I am growing old and sharing this wonder of aging with my mother on a different level than I would have if I was in my 40’s.
I was working with a First Nations author and she told me I had a Grandmother spirit. I was so honoured.
So excited to get my hands on this book-I need some grace as I age and getting deeper into my spirituality will be the perfect answer! Thanks for the contribution!
This book sounds like a much needed missing piece to a ongoing issue. Not only is society geared around the young but we are assaulted by fear based advertising for getting older. So many try desperately to cling to their youth and miss out on what beauty, wisdom and grace that is in the present. Each day presents an adventure whether your rock climbing in your youth or rockin-out in your rocking chair in your 90’s. It is all how you see and embrace your world.
Thank you for creating this book. Not only will I be purchasing and reading it, I will be gifting it to others. Thank you! Savrina
It is funny how just the thing a person needs is presented to them when they put their thoughts on it. This book sounds lovely. A much needed bit of wisdom at the perfect time. Thanks so much for making me aware of it.
My mother will be 88 years old next week. She is more vibrant, loving and amazing now than she has ever been. She has expressed no fear of dying because she is living her best life now. I hope that I will be like her when I am an elder.
I can see where this book would provide wisdom and insight on a multi-perceptional level. I am on the cusp of turning 50 and have always led a very physically active lifestyle, yet I find certain inevitablilities that come with age such as arthritis and residual effects of old injuries “cause me to pause..” and I continually need to reflect and reassess my strengths, weaknesses and the inevitable limitations that come with age. On another level, I have a son who upon turning 30 began to lament and mourn the effects that his “advancing” age manifested in his life. Add to that equation my mother who will be turning 80 this year. Her greatest fear is loss of independence. Great resource to have in any household, especially a multi-generational one 😉
Thank you Lori and Lewis f/ sharing this.
Namaste,
Patty
This is something that I have been thinking about lately. Good timing!
What could be more important than coming to terms with age and mortality. How can we live a good life if we don’t? Fundamental issues that don’t get addressed very often in our pursuit of eternal youth.
We live in a youth-based society – fearful of growing old. But with age comes something we so often take for granted – memories. We fall in love and look forward to spending a lifetime with that special someone. We watch our grandchildren grow and see a little part of ourselves in their eyes or their smiles – our legacy. We remember when life may not have been so technologically savvy, but was more enjoyable to live. I’m going to be 37 years old this year and will be married to my wife for 11. I don’t necessarily feel as though time is marching on with any fury, but in fact it is. But I accept each stage of my life because it leads me to the next with a wealth of opportunities. As long as I can remember the people, the places and the love I’ve been so blessed to experience, growing old doesn’t seem all that bad.
This book is needed to start more conversations about the good things aging brings, such as wisdom, maturity, peace, mindfulness, etc. Each of our decades has its pros and cons, but I see the later decades as balanced more toward the pros. I feel that it’s really a matter of perspective, and of doing your best to take care of yourself so that you can fully enjoy your later years. It also involves not fearing death. Thank you for writing this book.
Wonderful! Thank you for offering so many opportunities for us to win the products you profile.
my father passed away from cancer at the age of 54. i am now 54. he was my “buddha” even though he had no knowledge of Buddhism. had he lived longer, i am sure he would not have had a problem with “getting old”. i remind myself often how blessed i am for each day, whatever it may bring. it’s interesting to me that although i don’t fear death, i do struggle at times with the “getting old” part of the process. i believe this book can be a great resource in helping me with that.
Regardless if I win this will go on my list of must reads…turning 55 this year I am certainly trying to embrace aging…not easy!
I’d love to have the oppourtunity to read this! I am not worried about aging, per se, but definitely interested in fullness of life for my remaining years.
I will be reading this, winning or not, because at 57 I find myself somewhat uncomfortable with changes that occur not only physically but emotionally and mentally. I want to be comfortable with the changes, perhaps redirect some of my thoughts and actions and embrase every moment. The thought of our own mortality is very obscure when young but with each passing year of our own and being subjected to the loss of more relatives and friends as we get older, I need peace with the whole reality of this part of life
the book sounds amazing. 🙂 def on my list of to reads.
I think there’s alot to be said based on the interviewer’s questions. I, for one, don’t find growing older scary or ugly, limiting or filled with lost opportunities. I am nearing 50, I have a fair number of friends 10 (and 20 ) yrs my junior, but I am lucky to have quite a few friends 10 yrs my senior. My older friends encourage thoughtfulness, consideration and empathy. They have the patience to listen, really listen and actively engage in conversation. My younger friends often misinterpret or ignore the subtleties of situations they are exposed to. They “don’t have time” to engage in the moment, or seek to understand the nuances of behavior (theirs or others). My older friends embrace their years because they represent experience and wisdom. My younger friends embrace the latest trends and spend countless time and money on it, only to discard it when fashion/style dictates that it is no longer “in”. My older friends have a sense of who they are, who they want to be, what they won’t be (and the struggles to accept each of these). My younger friends are often in a frenzy: doing and succeeding, with little idea of what true happiness might mean for them. My older friends say less, use their words with more care. My older friends allow friends with opposing opinions to speak their mind, because how else will you learn? My younger friends seek solidarity in what they know to be “true”.
What does this mean? I think advancing years, in the lucky, allows the luxury of using time as a teacher, a means of reflection. I think age, through experience and can encourage further development and interest in the world around us, without the distractions of our own limitations.
We have no choice but to grow old (or die). We are already wise… just need to realize it.
TThank you for writing this book and sharing your insights and experiences. I look forward to reading it and practising the exercises!
Age has no meaning other than how long my physical body has been on this Earth. It does not indicate anything mentally or spiritually which is the most important factor to how long we live 🙂
HIt 40, trying to find a way to stop thinking it’s all downhill from here… 🙂
This book is definitely on my list of must-reads …
lovely… id really like to read it. ;P