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Giveaway and Author Interview: The Misleading Mind

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The Winners:

Have you ever felt like your mind was controlling you, dragging you along for a persistently bumpy ride?

Research shows the majority of us feel this way, but the good news is that we can do something about—and Karuna Cayton’s book The Misleading Mind teaches us how.

A psychotherapist and practicing Buddhist, Karuna has written an easily digestible book that offers solutions to the mental anguish we often perpetuate through misguided thinking.

Its full title is The Misleading Mind: How We Create Our Own Problems and How Buddhist Psychology Can Help Us Solve Them, and it delivers on that promise.

I’m thrilled to share this long but illuminating interview and offer two free copies as a giveaway!

The Giveaway

To enter to win 1 of 2 free copies of The Misleading Mind:

  • Leave a comment below.
  • Tweet: RT @tinybuddha Book GIVEAWAY & Interview: The Misleading Mind http://bit.ly/K8UDcj

If you don’t have a Twitter account, you can still enter by completing the first step. You can enter until midnight PST on Friday, June 1st.

The Interview

1. What made you choose the title The Misleading Mind? In what way is the mind misleading?

The source of all problems and the source of all solutions is the mind. I believe that. Of course, people always bring up extreme examples like, “How is the tsunami in Japan a fault of the mind?” Ultimately, I believe it is, but just on a relative basis.

The suffering that arises as a result of a tsunami is mental suffering. Yes, one’s body may be injured, but that falls mostly in the realm of pain. Suffering, or problems, as I am referring to them, refers to anguish, misery, unhappiness.

These painful states of mind arise as a result of the afflictive emotions in our mind. And, these arise from a misunderstanding of reality, of how things are.

This misperception is a mental activity, a mind activity, and we are misled by these constant misapprehensions. Thus…the misleading mind. I should also point out that is also the mind that leads us out of our problems, if we know how to use it properly.

2. Your book offers solutions to three major problems, which you’ve called the Three Conditions (known as the Three Sufferings in Buddhism). What are these?

Traditionally, they are called The Suffering of Suffering, The Suffering of Change, and Pervasive Suffering. I’m not a big fan of the word “suffering” because of the usual, common use of the word. From a definitional use, suffering is an accurate term.

The Suffering of Suffering refers to a condition that all living beings experience. It simply means that we have pain and, as a result, we suffer mentally. Our joints ache, we bruise when we fall, our teeth are sensitive to cold, a tiny little piece of glass can cause great distress when it finds the bottom of our foot (or, anywhere else on our body!)

Just by virtue of the fact that if you took a pin and touched it to any part of our body we would feel pain indicates that we are pretty vulnerable. We go in and out of pain constantly.

The Suffering of Change is more subtle. Just about everything is in a state of change and, yet, we have a kind of ignorance that prevents us from actually perceiving this constant change. We really only notice gross change, like day and night, the changing of the seasons, our kids changing over months and years.

But there is subtle, constant change happening at the atomic level all the time. And, also, our minds are changing every instant.

So, because we have a tendency to want to freeze everything, and nothing is frozen or static, we suffer when we lose the thing we want or enjoy.

A warm day tanning ourselves at the beach inevitably turns cold and uncomfortable. Too much ice cream turns into a stomachache. Some people say, “If I could just stay in bed all day, I’d be happy.” But, what happens if you try to stay in bed all day? Eventually, we are driven out of bed. This is due to the Suffering of Change. Also, one can add to this the difficulty of aging, getting sick, losing one’s job, and so on.

The final category is Pervasive Suffering. This is not so easy to understand right off the bat but it refers to the fact that we constantly live in ignorance.

The ignorance we live in is the ignorance of reality: the way things exist and the way I, my self, exists.

This is a constant state of bewilderment and thus it is a very “primitive” way of existing. “Primitive” in comparison to what our inner potential could provide were we able to actualize our wisdom, compassion, and other positive mental traits that we possess, which are typically in a very dormant state.

3. You’ve written that some people internalize the idea that we create suffering in our minds to mean, “Everything exists inside of me. Therefore, it is all my fault.” How can we embrace the role we play in creating our own problems while also being kind to ourselves?

This is a very, very important and tricky point. We are responsible, at “fault,” because mind creates just about everything. At the very least, the mind creates our experience of the world. However, we have to explore and develop an understanding of who, or what, we mean by “me.”

Really, it is ignorance and the accompanying disturbing emotions that create the problems. But it is only our wisdom and understanding, the positive emotions within us that can subdue the negative ones. It’s in our hands, unfortunately I guess.

But the bright side is this: Swe create our own world, we can create any world we want. It’s just that up until now we haven’t really created a very great world for ourselves and, we are ultimately responsible for that. No reason to feel guilty because we didn’t know better. And, anyway, guilt is a useless, self-indulgent emotion anyway. Regret is good because with regret we learn.

4. In Chapter Four, you wrote that self-awareness the most effective therapy of all. Can you expand on this?

We can say that our usual mode of existence is a lack of awareness of what’s really going on inside of us. Further, by being aware of our own inner experience we then extend this awareness to the effects we are having on the world around us.

In fact, “self-awareness” is one of the competencies measured in Emotional Intelligence. To really deepen and accurately be self-aware we need to educate ourselves on what we are directing our awareness toward.

In the context of Buddhist psychology we are concerned, at the very least, with the arising of the various emotions and “mental” stuff such as thoughts, feelings, judgments, assumptions, concepts and so on.  Then, with a deeper level of self-awareness we view the foundation from which these emotions arise, particularly the sensations that stimulated the thoughts and emotions.

Finally, we also direct our gaze at the person, identity or “I” that is in reaction to those emotions and, in many ways, is responsible for their perpetuation.

5. You’ve written that we live our lives chasing “trivial pursuits,” one of which is abundance. Our culture certainly reinforces this drive, particularly in literature related to the law of attraction. How can we find a balance between our instinct to grow and expand, and our need to recognize and appreciate enough?

We have to make a conscious decision, based on a wise analysis of what we really want in life and what the causes are that will produce what we want. Fundamentally, every living being and every action living beings take is to be happy.

Typically, happiness and pleasure are seen as synonyms. And, extending that concept the more pleasure we have then the happier we will become. Here’s where abundance comes in. If one is seeking abundance as a means to extend or to increase pleasure then this is not only a faulty idea but creates more problems, more unhappiness, than the original state of “lack.”

Studies have been done of lottery winners and the overwhelming experience of these people is that their level of happiness is actually lower two years after their winning. That’s pretty strange. So, whether or not one has abundance is not the actual problem.

What creates the problem is the motivation and mindset behind the pursuing and accumulation of abundance.

Certainly, seeking abundance for the benefit of others is not going to lead to further unhappiness in yourself. Probably the contrary will happen—the more you work for the happiness of others, the happier you become.

6. What is one simple but powerful technique we can start using today to retrain our minds?

Become aware of what’s happening to you. Start being aware of how your mind controls you, and that you are not in control of your mind. That alone is huge. To do this we have to interrupt the habitual patterns of the mind.

We have to notice that we are constantly in reaction rather than “pro-action.”  So the first step is to calm the mind, focus it, and then notice what’s going on. A good way to start is with the ABCD method.  You can do this while you’re waiting in traffic, in a waiting room, or during a commercial.

A stands for anatomy. Check in with your body and see that it is relaxed and you’ve let go of any tension. Make sure the spine, from your tail bone to the top of your head, is straight but not rigid. If you can, gently close your eyes or leave them slightly open. (Of course, if you’re driving, forget this last part!)

B stands for breath. Connect with your breath by just watching either the sensations going in and out of the nose or your belly rising and falling. Do not manipulate or control the breath. Watch it like you’d watch a river.

C stands for counting. As you inhale and then exhale, count “1”, then “2” for the next round until you get to ten. Then go in reverse to one.  If you can do three rounds, great. If you don’t have much time then just count to three and back, three times.

D stands for distraction. When the mind wanders from the breath, bring it back. This takes the added action of noticing distractions. When you notice a distraction you gently say, “distracted,” and then refocus on the breath. That’s all. This simple exercise is a total contradiction to our normal brain activity and even though it is simple it can effective assist in rewiring those neuropathways and mental habits.

7. What is the main message you hope readers take away from your book?

Everybody wants to be happy. Happiness is an inside job. The only thing that keeps us from being happy is that we are mentally out of balance. This is due to having an untrained mind. We are not in control of the mind, the mind is in control of us, and thus we are not in control of our happiness.

Anyone can engage at some level in taking control of our happiness. The ideas in Buddhist psychology are non-sectarian, that can be viewed as secular and they are deep and extensively tested for over 2600 years.

Read more about The Misleading Mind on Amazon.


FTC Disclosure: I receive complimentary books for reviews and interviews on tinybuddha.com, but I am not compensated for writing or obligated to write anything specific. I am an Amazon affiliate, meaning I earn a percentage of all books purchased through the links I provide on this site.

About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.

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Rich Horton

Somebody said to me recently, when I was presenting a model for learning in a course, ‘Well that’s just common sense!’. I replied ‘Of course it is, all models and approaches that align with the deep truths of the universe are just codified common sense’. This book sounds similar to me. Yes of course it’s common sense, but so often as human beings we don’t do common sense. These are deep truths that are universal and crop in all sort of places, literature etc etc. I just need to remember to put them into practice. Thanks for the reminder I will now go and put this common sense into action. 

Monique Aarts-Janssen

I have overcome depression by using mindfullnes and reading a lot about Buddism. I also started taking Ki-Aikido classes. It has worked wonders for me. Living with myself is much better now. I still have to practice each day but this takes no effort. Because what I get back from it is huge….

Todd45387

Sounds like a great book! Would love to read it!

Uttaragarg

am on my journey of retraining my mind and be in control of it . not easy though. it takes a lot of inner work and practice but it can also be fun to jus watch your mind play games with u.
would love to read your book as that would definitley accelerate the process of concious living!

Pamela

Nice interview Lori. *thumbs up*

Jubi The Great

This post was so timely, this is a topic I’ve been trying to master in my own life. I will definitely pick up this book, thank you.

Rachel

Great interview – the book sounds super helpful!

Katharinefrances

This book sounds amazing!

Simonson Cindi

Stumbled upon your blog and am finding it’s just what I needed today as I work through reinventing myself. Thank you.

Yvette

Sounds like great summer reading.

Jennifer M Wright

What a great book suggestion to help tame the “monkey mind.”  It makes me so happy to see the same tried and true methods for happiness expressed – meditation, self awareness, etc.  As a young kid these are the things my parents taught me but sometimes it takes a little while to really understand and agree.

aps

this is very timely, working to train my mind to be a lot more positive and appreciate the gift of Life. would love to read this book, thank yoU!

Ladyeumbrous

this sounds like a great read!

Sarah Quincey

This sounds like something I really need to read. I’m in a funk. I’m 27-years-old, my little brother recently got married. A friend just got engaged and another friend is in a relationship that will turn into marriage. With all of these happening, it has made me feel like I’m on a neverending cycle of bitterness and a lifetime of lonliness. I need to find my happiness and figure out where I want to go with my life and I just don’t know how to get there.

Jeffc1

This one is right up my alley!  hope you’re well, Lori!!

Linda H.

At this point in m life, I think I could really benefit from reading this book.  Thanks!

JamesSimon

I find the most difficult thing is the people around me… like being tossed around it the waves at times.

Jeffc1

The interview, alone, teaches so much about how to be at your best!  Nice job.

Cassies

You always have such great giveaways! They also always seem so timely for me. I have been reading more and more about Buddhism and this sounds like a great book to compliment that!

Anna

Entering to win! 

April Doenges

I’ve been reading Thich Nhat Hanh for a few years now and I am really looking forward to reading more Buddhism.

Mary

Great book and powerful message

Dale

Entering the contest

Hallman Leslie

love the thoughts on self-awareness, would like to get this book!

Melissa

I so want to learn more about Buddhism.. it speaks to me – this book seems like a great place to start… 

Carol Moulton

I’ve enjoyed reading your posts on Tiny Buddha, and have always skimmed the sections on book giveaways/author interviews. However today, I’m reading your interview. I’ve become very interested in the way the mind works and tricks us to think a certain way. I want to change my thought process and be in control. If anything, thank you for sharing this book and it’s topic with us. 

Pafunk

Have been digging myself out of a hole for about 2 months now.  Have a bone that died in my wrist.  Had surgery and was supposed to be off for only a week but ended up 2 months and while on medical leave had my hours at work cut by 11 hours a week due to budget shortfalls.  It’s been a long way bringing myself back and I think this book would certainly help.

Kat

I would love to read this book!  I think the ability to see and examine the mind and your thoughts as incredibly powerful!! 

Elizabeth Rose

I am going into social work and want to use mindfulness in my practice. I have been searching different mindfulness therapies (such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). This book sounds like a wonderful, down to earth guide for incorporating mindfulness into one’s daily life. I love the ABCD. It is easy tools like this that help those who are having a hard time in their lives simplify a new practice. Thanks for sharing this book!

Mary D.

Lately I’ve been thinking how many of us exclude the mind from our paradigm of what needs tending to. Like our physical counterparts, the mind needs to be fueled and if necessary, repaired when it’s hurting. It takes acknowledgement and prioritizing in order to cultivate awarenesses about resources at our disposal that can help. The book “The Misleading Mind” seems an excellent choice to get us on our respective paths toward improved mental health. I look forward to devouring it!

moniv

I am at a point in my life that transition/change is happening at a very fast pace.  I’m looking at 50, my children are tweens, I’ve stayed home to raise them and can’t go back to my old career in Administration, I’m a yoga instructor – but can’t get any classes since the market is flooded right now, so I’m not sure how to re-create myself and my 14 year marriage has fallen apart.  I read what you wrote and it gave me some hope.  I, too, have believed that if it is all “inside” me, then I must be the reason why things have not worked out as I’d hoped . . and I’ve suffered.  Change is inevitable in this life of constant evolution.  A quote comes to mind from the movie “Finding Nemo” when they’re heading towards Australia and they meet up with the turtles and one of them says “Go with the flow, Dude” ~~ Yes, go with the flow : )

Er2900

I want to read ‘The Misleading Mind.’ Too often, we allow ourselves to be governed by our thoughts and I want to read more on the Buddhist thought and how to combat this negativity with a gentle spirit. Not only for my benefit, but so I can share this information with others in need. I am obtaining my master’s in social work and am making plans to encompass mind, body and spiritual well-being into my practice. This book would benefit me in many ways. 

Napudint

Life is best lived by the curious and the brave. I ‘m ready to do this!

Je

I’d 
love to be able to give this to a friend of mine who finds herself stuck in the same pattern.  I’ve talked with her re:  meditation& thought processes but this book would explain it better and help her more that I can.

Alicia Hansen

Boy, do I need this book! Would love to win!

Kim

I so need something like this. My life is so crazy. I need direction.

Aravinda Sahan

This book sounds very interesting! hope to read it! 

Angela

I just finished “Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart” – this would be a great next book to read!

Diva308905

I would so enjoy reading this book.  Thanks for the contest, TB.

Katie Biittner

I think it is always important to be mindful. This book sounds like a very useful read.

Debi Ashley

Help keeping my mind in “focus” … YES I would love to win this book. 🙂

Ash

Would love to win a book full of light

Ranjan Varma

I was struggling to articulate the problems with the literature on the law of attraction. Reading this interview helped. Thanks.

Lindsey Bronner

I would LOVE to read this book! The whole idea of there not being stress in the world, and that we create it with our minds has been popping up a lot for me lately. It’s such a simple yet profound idea. I would love to understand and learn more about the buddhist perspective on such topics.

Namaste,
Lindsey B.

Dee

Looks wonderful definitely could use this to get life back on track! would love to win! 🙂

Nikki Faith Fuller

I would love to read it too! I am too much in my head and this sounds so helpful. 

GalFromAway

This would be a great resource for me for sure. Combining what I’m getting from counselling and combining it with Buddhism would be fantastic.

Alex

Monkey Mind is my middle name and I could use some direction. Would love to own a copy!

Lindsay Drya Vanhove

I would love to win a copy!
I’m learning a lot about Buddhism these days, I think this book is a must-have for my personal library. 🙂

Kerry Martin

Wow sounds like an amazing book. I am posting and tweeting 😀 … nice blog post as well BTW. Of course I love all of ’em 😀