“Sometimes, it’s the smallest decisions that change your life forever.” ~Keri Russell
Seven years ago I was that athletic, hyperactive person you could look at and admire.
I was madly in love with cardio, and I could easily work out twice a day, six days a week, without a single complaint, not to mention jogging at 6:00AM five days each week.
In college I went through lots of rough times, especially in my senior year. I was always stressed, I procrastinated a lot, and I couldn’t care less about working out, until one day I woke up and realized that I had gained forty-six pounds in less than a year.
In just twelve months, I found myself transforming into a less attractive, obese young man who couldn’t breathe properly or even fit into an old pair of jeans. I also had stress problems and a non-stop bad temper.
I tried hard to get back on track and get my old self back again, but with so much stress in my life, it was only a matter of days until I gave up and went back to my bad eating habits.
I would plan my diet, stick to it for a couple of day or weeks, and then give up. Working out was no longer easy for me, the gym was boring, and healthy food was unbearable.
For seven consecutive years I faced lots of difficulties and tried to lose weight more than 100 times. All failed. I was desperate, I was helpless, and I felt stuck, until one day I asked myself:
Why don’t I start small?
Why don’t I forget about doing too many things at once, and change only one thing and see what happens next?
Why don’t I just go to the gym—without caring about how much I eat, how much weight I lift, how fast I run, and without even sticking myself to a specific schedule?
Why don’t I just put my shoes on and walk myself to the gym three days every week, and consider my daily goal done once I step into the gym. No more doubts and no more worries—I’ll just try to be someone who goes to the gym more often.
I did it, and it was the best thing I ever did for myself.
In a matter of three months, I have lost thirty-eight pounds, gained control over my life, and become more disciplined. And junk food has finally no control over me.
I did that by following a set of universal laws that most people neglect when trying to change their lives. I strongly believe that if you manage to follow these universal laws, changing your life is guaranteed.
I have summarized them in four simple rules that are applicable to almost all types of human behavior. Whether you’re trying to lose weight or build self-confidence, follow these four rules and you will see results.
Rule 1: Make it easy to start.
I asked myself: What are the obstacles that make me hate going to the gym?
The answer was:
- Feeling bad when I fail to reach the specific number of reps for each exercise, or when I don’t lift a lot of weight.
- Feeling bad when I can’t push myself to run on a treadmill.
- Feeling like I’m not disciplined enough and I lack control over my life whenever I miss a workout (even if I have a busy schedule).
So I decided to eliminate all the obstacles and make it easy to go to the gym consistently.
I knew that if I kept lifting weights and running even with 50% of my strength, my body would change and I would see progress. That’s why I decided to:
- Lift only what I could, especially when I wasn’t in the mood to lift a lot of weight.
- Do only what I could when it came to cardio. If the ideal intense cardio workout is made of four intervals, then I’d be satisfied if I did two or more.
- Be less strict with timing. I’d hit the gym any day at anytime, as long as I go there at least three times each week.
I did that and I realized something very strange. When I dropped the stress off my shoulders, I started to lift more weight, run faster, and go the extra mile in almost all of my workouts. And that made me stick to the habit more than ever because I made it easy for myself to progress.
If you want to see results, you must make it so easy to start that there is no place for thoughts of quitting or backing up. Life is already hard. Don’t make it harder.
Rule 2: It`s all about consistency.
No matter who you are, you will have some sort of resistance to change. This resistance is at its minimum when you introduce change into your life step by step until it becomes a part of who you are, or face any kind of emotional trauma or a situation when change is a must (like losing your job or getting a divorce).
Since you don’t want to put yourself in a traumatic situation, and because your reasons are sometimes not strong enough to weaken your inner resistance immediately, the best way to change your lifestyle is by starting small and being consistent.
Focus on one—and only one—thing to change at a time (so you don’t stir up your inner resistance) and take consistent actions toward this goal until you have a new way of life.
Take my dieting example:
It was hard for me to exercise regularly and introduce a healthy lifestyle to my daily routine, so I changed only one variable (going to the gym) and left the rest unchanged. Within a month I found myself changing my eating habits completely without feeling bad about it.
Why? Because being a gym-goer had changed the image I had of myself, which made overeating seem less exciting.
I simply didn’t want to lose the calories I’d worked hard to burn in the gym on a can of soda or a cheeseburger.
Consider change as a snowball; all you need is to build a small ball, clear the path, and let the ball roll.
Start small now and build on it. It’s the tortoise that wins in real life, not the lazy rabbit.
Stop trying to revolutionize your life in a single shot. Small and consistent is what you need to explode.
Rule 3: You never start at the end line.
When playing a new video game, the best way to show fast progress is to start at the amateur mode and get used to it for sometime before you move to the pro level.
The same goes with real change; you start at the bottom in the amateur mode and keep progressing until you become a pro.
Your goal is to move from the beginner level to the pro one fast and safe, and to do so you must know that:
- When you demand too much too early, you lose.
- When you be over-judgmental and beat yourself up too often, you lose.
- And when you choose perfection over progress, you still lose.
Don’t look far and forget where you’re stepping. You have two eyes; keep one on the sky and the other one under your feet.
Rule 4: Regret is a complete waste of time.
I had my moments of relapsing. I have cheated many times but I haven’t allowed such mistakes to ruin my diet because I realized that regret is useless.
When changing your life, keep in mind that it’s immediate action that fixes a mistake, not crying over it. It is your reaction toward a mistake that counts, not the mistake itself.
Get over your mistakes fast, and you will be amazed by how far you will go with your life.
About Marwan Jamal
MJ is a fitness and health blogger at healthline.com and a great fan of the gym and a healthy diet. He follows the trends in fitness, gym, and healthy life and loves to share his knowledge through useful and informative articles.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Awesome Marwan. I loved the fact that you stressed persistence and facing your fears. Fear is always thereto challenge us and for us to prove how badly we want to achieve. It is never there to kill or deter us. We are the ones who decide to turn back or run and hide when challenged.
I only started to succeed when I decided to make fear my motivator. If I am not fearful I believe it is not challenging enough for me.
Starting small is another major thing. Most times we look at the end results., what we want to accomplish instead of breaking it down in small doable portions. How much we could all achieve if we only decide to take it one day at a time.
Great read thanks again.
HI Marwan
Great tips here. I really liked the first one about questioning the obstacles. That is such a simple, yet profound, way to really see what is going on inside and why we are resisting something. When we can define that, it gets so much easier to formulate a more effective plan for change. We see what ‘stuff’ we are working with internally that needs to be reworked.
I think the part about not having regrets and being patient with ourselves is spot on too. On an intellectual level, we know there is no such thing as ‘perfect’ but how we feel is often quite different. And, when we get mad at ourselves for ‘failing’ it is easy to fall off track. That is why I think it is so important to set our goals carefully. Most of the time, we go too big and we can’t sustain the huge leap, but the disappointment we feel with ourselves can often totally take us off track, rather than cause us to step back and reassess and set new goals, we can get overly critical and stop altogether.
Great post!
Such a positive, inspirational story…thanks for sharing!
Marwan,
Thanks for the sharing. Good advise. Sums up nicely what the important steps are.
Hi Marwan! Wonderful article. My goodness, the timing! This couldn’t have came at a more perfect time for me. I have just started working with a trainer to get back in shape. Physically, I want to become slimmer and get more confident about my body. But what I have noticed is that I am training my mind mentally just as much as my body. I loved that part about not having regrets. Not beating yourself up for one relapse in judgment or mistake. Because if you can make the mistake, then you can take the action to get back on track ANYTIME. It’s also about feeling great internally as well just as much as looking good.
I absolutely loved this post! and timing couldn’t be better. Last few weeks I’ve been having serious thoughts about my life and the changes I’ll like to make. Thank you very much for sharing this!
Hi Marwan,
Yes, it is the small and consistent efforts that give results. I realise that it is important that one has to enjoy the efforts, and feel the achievement on a daily basis. It only means that we maintain the small steps and let the progress take care of itself.
Thanks for your great article!
Hello Marwan,
Good for you. So many people need to suffer some kind of trauma to affect change. If you have the chance, a great read is “The Power Habit,” by Charles Duhigg. No surprise that this book reflects some of the ideas you’ve outlined here. I’ve found understanding the value of cues and rewards critical for affecting change in my own life. Keep inspiring people!