“Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places” ~ Unknown
I’ve never dreamed of owning a mansion or acres of land. I’ve never dreamed of meeting Mr. or Ms. Right. I’ve never dreamed of glory on a sports field or stage, and I’ve never dreamed of being a billionaire or “Chief” of a company.
But I have dreamed of one thing—finding and living out my “calling.”
I’ve dreamed of coming across a cause, art, subject, or professional field that stuns me in my tracks and induces an epiphany: this is the work I want to live and breathe, the destined object of my monomania.
Upon graduating from college, I landed a job in human capital (HC) consulting, a field that piqued my interest more than others. There wasn’t an unbridled passion, but I figured myself as one of those who had to make an effort to be passionate.
And so I put in my best: I always said yes to projects and took on more work even when night after night, I was the lone keyboard typing in the office.
Though I liked my commitment in the office, I rarely thought of my field in my personal time; this bothered me, because it meant my work hadn’t become my passion.
If it were true passion, my thoughts at work and away would be intertwined, and my thirst for the field would span office hours.
I reasoned this was because the field was different than I’d expected it to be, based on what I’d read.
However, when an email sent to our national pool of associates and analysts requested staffing on a large-scale strategy initiative, my heart skipped a beat. When I was selected as one of two analysts, I was ecstatic.
Here was finally a chance for me to live and breathe my work, to be in constant productive movement. This project had a steeper learning curve than any, and being on client site removed non-work distractions.
I was excited that this would show me my passion. And it did. But not in the way I expected.
For the next six months, I flew out every Sunday cross country to the client site and returned Friday. The scale of the project, aggressive deadlines, and the project manager’s haphazard work style compounded the intensity and stress. Sleep became a luxury, and all-nighters were at least weekly occurrences.
As months passed, I was living out my ideal of “career monomania,” but the anticipated fulfillment never materialized. While I was stimulated by the novelty and high learning curve, I found it hard to believe in the “why” of the work we were doing.
Just as on other projects I’d seen, we focused on published report numbers but I didn’t get to work on what I really wanted to know—how to identify what different people valued and how to change behavior.
When I admitted I didn’t believe in the “why,” the “what” became harder to endure.
Last minute overnight assignments made me feel resentful; insistence that I work on the car ride to the airport despite my motion sickness made me feel disregarded. I became physically exhausted and mentally de-motivated.
When I returned to my home office in the Bay, I worked to re-establish “life” in work-life balance. I reconnected with friends, finally joined a self-defense training center (Krav Maga), and set aside time often to read/write.
However, the project experience left a residual heaviness. Initially, I paid little attention to it until I broke down in my supervisor’s office one afternoon when talking about it. Truth was, I felt resentful and lost because I sacrificed my time, health, and personal life for a “fulfilling” lifestyle that proved otherwise.
I had to admit my mistake—that I mistook a job for a purpose.
You see, during college, when searching for my “calling” proved too ambiguous and elusive, I substituted it with something more mentally digestible: search for a job. Over time, I forgot that a “career should be but one tool for achieving your life’s purpose” (Clayton Christensen).
This project was a slap in the face that my quest to find my calling wasn’t finished. This scared me but also freed me.
In the next months, I delved into deep introspection. I read, quested, admitted, wrote, shared, debated, and repeated the cycle.
Slowly, it dawned on me: the topics that I could never stop thinking about, the methods I use to become my own therapist, the readings I’m most drawn to, the topics I want to write about, the conversations I most enjoy, the principles I most believe in, all could be encapsulated within one umbrella field—what I now know as positive psychology.
My attraction to positive psychology felt unforced and insuppressible. I connected to this field long before I knew how to label it, but I never gave myself permission to take it seriously.
When I read about these topics, I always felt guilt over not reading about work-related “productive” topics.
But if positive psychology was already a large part of my life, why shouldn’t I accept this and make it an even larger part?
Thus, for once, I gave myself permission to be passionate. I read the spiritual/psychological books and articles I wanted. I started my own blog about conscious living. I talked with my supervisor about my interest in projects that dealt with engagement and motivation.
Something strange began to happen: the more I accepted myself, the more authentic I became to others, and the more the world worked with me.
My relationships became deeper and more constructive; incidental conversations and incidents motivated me to pursue things I was once afraid of (e.g., publicizing my writing). The more I talked about these topics, the more I met people like me, and the more they introduced me to new contacts and resources.
Part of me wishes I were writing this post years from now. Perhaps if/when I’ve earned my graduate degree in positive psychology or conducted bold research experiments or have become a holistic HC consultant. I wish I could guide you from first-hand experience how to live your calling once you find it.
But all of this happened recently, and I can’t promise how this will culminate; but I know that I don’t want to wait for the journey’s “end” to share.
Like many others, I often restrict myself on condition—”I will be X when I reach Y.” But how many times have we reached our goals, only to realize there are infinite more beyond the horizon?
“There” is just a state of mind; there is nothing that we want to obtain that could forever satiate our wanting once we obtain it.
I don’t want to hold off daring or sharing until I reach “there.” I want to treasure and navigate “here”—this space where belief copulates with action, where fears dance with courage, where insecurities bow to passion.
I believe we each have a calling—something that deeply resonates with, motivates, and fulfills us. For a few, it is evident early on; for others, like me, it requires patience and continual searching.
But if we are honest with ourselves, if we consciously introspect, and if we dare to never stop questing, we realize that our experiences are orchestrated in perfect concert to guide us to our “Personal Legend,” as Paulo Coelho calls it, as long as we are willing to listen for the soft entrance of music.
Photo by Jozoana

About Cat (Poxi) Tu
Cat is a young professional living/working in San Francisco. She is feuled by self time, reading/writing, positive psychology, Krav Maga, hip hop dance, and raw/vulnerable conversations. She dreams of changing the world by changing consciousness. And she starts with her own: http://c2sees2.wordpress.com/
Have you considered pursuing a program through ICF, Cat: http://www.coachfederation.org/credential/landing.cfm?ItemNumber=2106 Psychology degree is a worthy pursuit on its own, but you might find that you will pick up practical and more immediately applicable skills to your desired calling much faster through one of their courses, while the degree will give you a solid foundation in academia and credibility outside of it.
I wish the best of luck to you on this path! 🙂
“Finding what you want means realizing what you don’t.” So true Cat. I’ve found that challenging my beliefs also helps me see possibilities in places I did not previously consider.
Thanks for you post Cat, I enjoyed reading it.
Good luck on your journey!
Hi Cat, you have no idea how much you article is related with my life. In this moment I was about to quit applying to a scholarship to pursue my passion of become, guess what? a psychologist. A year ago I finished my studies in business and I was working in a big corporation in the human resources department but 2 weeks ago I quit to my job and decided to pursue my dream of become a researcher in human behavior. Your words helped me to not give up and I just sent my application. I’m hoping for the best for me and for you.
Thnks a lot 🙂
Lots of love from Colombia.
Thank you so much, Cat. I almost cried…
Thank you Cat. Funny thing: my passion is dogs. And a Cat may be motivating me. 🙂
Thank you! That was amazing! i am EXACTLY in the same boat (except I’m still searching, at work!). This definitely hit home for me! We tend to jump on things thinking it will be the answer to my ‘passion’ until you find that it wasn’t it. And hope to find the next thing after giving up has been the toughest thing for me lately. But I’ve always been drawn to motivational things like you, hoping to empower anyone to be their best! That’s what I’ve always liked to do for others. Thanks again!
-Like many others, I often restrict myself on condition—”I will be X when I reach Y.” But how many times have we reached our goals, only to realize there are infinite more beyond the horizon?
“There” is just a state of mind; there is nothing that we want to obtain that could forever satiate our wanting once we obtain it.
I don’t want to hold off daring or sharing until I reach “there.” I want to treasure and navigate “here”—this space where belief copulates with action, where fears dance with courage, where insecurities bow to passion.-
Cat, that is easily the most poignant and inspiring piece of writing I’ve read in a long time. An incredibly important life lesson communicated with brilliance and ease. Thank you for the reminder, for sharing your wisdom and for a wonderful start to my Saturday.
My very best to you,
Mary
Thank your for the suggestion! Yes, I agree that an applied focus may be more in line with what ultimate life goals (I actually recently discovered one could obtain Masters in Positive Psych Org Dev, which is aligned w/ my passion & desire to apply it mass scale!)
Thank you, Shelly. I agree with your point about challenging beliefs – I think many of our mental conditionings are necessary to function efficiently, but freedom can be found in our knowing we can change/choose.
Lina – I am so happy to hear you are pursuing your passion! I admire your courage in taking a bold step to realize your life vision, and I wish that whatever occurs on the surface, that ultimately it will lead you to living out your calling.
I am very touched and humbled – thank you for your support!
LOL yes…when I shortened my name from Catherine to Cat years ago, I never knew how many small joys it would offer me & those around 😛
Yes, narrowing our interests is helpful but can def be frustrating given the “sunk cost” investment & uncertainty of next pursuit. But I like to believe that w/ a constructive frame of mind, we can use most all our experiences to prepare us better for the next, even if it’s just building resilience.
Thank you for your support, and I wish you a great journey!
Mary – thank you so much for your gracious words. I am deeply humbled. I try my best to write for myself (rather than for hopes of external validation, so I am always surprised but very happy that my thoughts could help others in any way.
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I also channeled hopeful energies towards finding a job during college and guess what – I landed a great one with Expat opportunities and all. But, I’ve come to realize with my first and likely last full time employment position that work will not make me happy. Being happy has to be the center around my work and life – as they are no different from another.
This is a big subject I also have been experiencing, investigating in my own life and mapping. And I love your insights. They make me smile and relish the shared inner knowing and the parallels of our journeys–consciousness! I appreciated all you said about not waiting to share. This has been a dilemma for me as well. I had my own interesting series of synchronicities that opened up the field of positive psychology to me. And I also have been consuming so much in that field. And, I am planning a graduate degree in it as well. …But my direction pointed me first in formalizing the life coaching work I had already been doing for many years successfully (but without directing it as my life’s work) using those same Pos Psych tools that I had not then had formal knowledge of. Common consciousness?
The question of competence and credibility has been an interesting inner (and external) discussion. Do we have permission to know what we know, practice what we practice, teach others how they know these things inside themselves? Are life itself and our own hearts “accredited” teachers?
I am not dismissing the importance of formal education because I so love it! But just as a calling is not a job, I realized that a calling is also not a degree. Nor is it legitimated by a degree. It simply is. All the rest are threads in weaving and living a passionate, connected, committed life. I am delighted to read your words and to feel the genuineness of you–that is the most credibility any of us could offer! Thank you so much!
-Carmell
Book– Influencer: The power to change anything. It sounds like what you’re writing about now 🙂
I really don’t want to be negative but I have read many stories like this, here and on another blogs, and it always seems to be that they find their calling and leave their 9-5 job to become a psychologist, yoga teacher, counsellor etc. Always the same types of jobs. Would be really good to read a post about someone who found their calling was in sales or marketing or a totally different field.
Think harder.
This is beautiful. As someone who is in limbo and not knowing where to go, it gives me hope that Im not alone in the battle. I’m picking up clues from sources like this, people, prayer, meditation, hot tea, music and books to know where I should head next. Intuition plays a a big role. Thank you for this article!
I love what you said about a career not being a purpose. As a former “career ladder climber”, it is refreshing to read others have found this to be true too. With this tough economy the past 5 years, I had to re-invent myself and my “career” which is a stretch to call it so now, is far different that 5 years ago. I am much more happier, in a less stressful job (less $$ too) but more time for reflection.
This was helpful, I’ve also been delving into positive psychology. I have a bachelors of science in psychology which I ended up getting because I always found psychology so interesting. The problem was that I realized that the traditional psychology route was not for me. I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do with it. When I read the “wise heart” by Jack Kornfield it totally changed the way I viewed things and really spoke to me as a person. Since then I have been very interested in the subject, which is actually what brought me to this website. I didn’t know there were degrees you could obtain specifically in positive psychology, this is something I will have to look into. Thanks!
This is exactly what I am going through right now! I just joined the “corporate world” but have a true passion about positive psychology which is why I am so torn about my “career plans.” This article really got me thinking but I don’t even know where to start! Would love to read a blog post about your journey! Thanks for posting
I’m confused by this article. What is the conclusion? Have you came to a conclusion? You said you were passionate about positive psychology…so are you working in the same position or did you change? Did you pursue another career path in psychology?