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Engaging in the Moment Instead of Wanting to Be Somewhere Else

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Savoring the Moment

“Happiness is enjoying the moment for what it is, not what it could be or should be.” ~Unknown

Many of us have been there…

The alarm goes off. In anger, we strike the wretched machine in hopes of getting a few more precious minutes of beauty sleep.

It’s Monday again. The weekend is over and it will be another five days—120 hours, 7,200 minutes, 432,000 seconds—until we throw up our hands again in triumph and say, “Thank goodness it’s Friday!”

We’ve often committed ourselves to the lie that Monday must be terrible. In the U.S., the very idea of hating Mondays is ingrained in our pop culture.

Be it the comic cat Garfield with a disgruntled look upon his drooping whiskers lamenting over Monday’s arrival, or the nineties movie Office Space with its well known line “Somebody’s got a case of the Mondays,” there’s a prevailing notion that we must dread this day.

But this post isn’t about promoting the greatness of Monday, or promoting Monday as the new Friday. This post is about our craving for insular moments of fun.

We view weekdays, moments that we have to wait in line, time spent commuting or working, and other seemingly mundane experiences as unbearably wretched.

We believe that we must endure these moments to seek out a bit of fun. It is my belief that this craving may be causing us harm. That it’s causing us to disengage from the world before us, and it may even prevent us from being happy.

We wake up on Monday craving the weekend’s return. But it’s Monday—not Friday. Not some fun moment that we eagerly await, but simply Monday.

If we spend so much of our Monday morning investing our thoughts and emotions in a day that has yet to and perhaps will never come to pass, then we are investing our energy into emptiness.

We are ruining the potential for serenity in the current moment. We are refusing to accept that we are subject to the changing of the days (among many other things), and rather than being in the current moment, we are breaking the potential for serenity by diverting our attention toward the intangible.

If it’s our craving for an innumerable amount of things that causes us to drift away from the present and ruin our potential for happiness, how do we divorce ourselves from our desire?

In other words, how do we become engaged in the moment? I think there is no single answer to this question, but one answer may be found in oranges.

Yes, oranges. Namely, what Vietnamese teacher and Zen practitioner Thich Nhat Hanh has to say about oranges.

“Take an orange and hold it in your palm…The orange tree has taken three, four, or six months to make such an orange for you. It is a miracle. Now the orange is ready and says, ‘Here I am for you.’ But if you are not present you will not hear it. When you are not looking at the orange in the present moment, the orange is not present either.”

Thich Nhat Hanh’s words certainly make for a wonderfully deep Dole ad, but I think he’s simply talking about the beauty in the world around us.

Oranges, like so many things, are so easy to take for granted. So easy to ignore, really. I know it sounds strange to many of us to open the fridge and say, “Wow, look at this orange. It took a while for this orange to grow for my consumption. Amazing!”

However, it’s also strange to be caught up in craving things that aren’t there when we can’t appreciate the tangible and simple beauty of an orange in our hand.

Maybe that’s where the answer lies. That being engaged in the moment only requires us to truly see everything around us.

Rather than curse Monday morning, embrace it.

From the moment we wake up, many of us have an unimaginable amount of possibilities for engagement and enjoyment.

We could get up and do jumping jacks. We could doodle something we had dreamed the previous night on a scrap piece of paper. Or we could just simply watch the sunrise and all its complex brilliance.

All this is there for so many of us, and all we have to do is be there to enjoy it.

I have lived my whole life as the man hitting the alarm clock in anger, hating Monday’s return and anxiously awaiting the weekend.

I have lived my whole life holding the orange, but was never present as I consumed something so wonderful. However, cancer changed all that for me.

Nearly two and a half years ago my wife was diagnosed with a very rare and deadly form of cancer. Though I do not entirely bear the burden of this disease, I certainly share it.

Before the burden of cancer, we had an active social life. Our week was often filled with social gatherings, sightseeing, and much more. However, my wife’s disease prevented us from taking part in the exciting social life we once had.

When the weekly yet insular moments of fun were taken away from us, the initial sting of this deprivation was devastating. Weeks turned into months and months into years of these insular moments becoming less and less frequent.

At first I blamed cancer for what seemed like the death of happiness in our life, then I blamed others. But as time went on, I realized I was to blame for the disturbance in serenity.

Now, there is no doubt that cancer is the trigger for so much of our suffering, but it was I who perpetuated it. Instead of enjoying something as precious and simple as holding my wife’s hand, I was holding on to hope for a rekindled social life.

Rather than enjoy the taste of a meal we had made together, I was craving the taste of beer at one of our social gatherings.

But I now believe happiness isn’t found at the bottom of a beer glass. It isn’t found at the end of the week. All that stuff is fun, but happiness, I believe, is something far more rich and yet very simple.

It’s as simple as putting aside our yearning for something else and just engaging in the moment we are currently in.

Enjoying the sun image via Shutterstock

About Travis

Travis lives and works as an English teacher in rural Japan. While living abroad, his wife was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. During this hard time he had found piece of mind in Buddhism, and in his free time often translates and studies modern Japanese Buddhist texts.

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Kelli Cooper

Hi Travis
First off, I taught English in Japan for a year in Hiroshima and loved it. While your wife’s cancer is certainly a devastating blow, I can see how much wisdom you have gained from it, and how it has made for a richer, more authentic, connected way of living your life.

I agree that we can find pleasure in all moments, and not just compartmentalize it to certain activities. As someone who has worked for myself for several years and has a lot of flexibility in my day, a Monday is no different than a Friday for the most part, but I do feel a different energy on each day, which shows how deeply it was ingrained from my days of being traditionally employed.

Sometimes things happen in our lives that force us to re-evaluate, and we may not be able to keep doing the same things that might have made us feel good in some way, but by no means does that suggest the joy is gone forever. We have to be willing to find it in different ways rather than lamenting what no longer is.

It can be challenging but certainly possible for anyone.

Travis

Thank you so much for kind words, and for taking the time to read this piece. It’s really been a pretty wild ride…sometimes good and sometimes bad. However we’ve really tried our best to make it through these hard times. Right now we have returned to the States, and we are pursuing a few options that weren’t available to us in Japan. Speaking of Japan…I thought it was interesting you had mentioned you had taught in Hiroshima. I’ve never been there myself, but I’m sure your time there was very rewarding. The character of the Japanese people is very unique, and the amount of compassion they had shown my wife and I was truly amazing.

Peace Within

Thank you for sharing your story. I used to be one of those people who hated Mondays, until I realized it is pointless to start the week with a bad attitude. Everyday is a blessing. Everyday is like having a new canvas to paint on. We never get today back, which means every day is special. Take care!

Eric

Thank you for this wisdom. I have recently begun reading about mindfulness – living for now. The past is gone and the future is something that doesn’t even exist. We have to live for the present moment and try to fully enjoy it. Every day is a precious gift that is not to be taken for granted. I hope for the best for you and your wife.

Travis

Eric thank you reading and your kind words. I’m glad you found some insight in it, and I too have been reading a lot about mindfulness. Mindfulness was the crux of this piece, and has really been an important part of navigating this difficult circumstance.

Talya Price

I am always wishing that I was somewhere else. I too teach English for my survival job. I rather be acting in a film or a play fulltime. Many times I have forgotten to enjoy the moment. It gets difficult when you are doing something that does not give you joy. What do I enjoy about it, money? Yes but it still never enough, not even enough to pay make a living. I know I should stop complaining.

I am happy to have read your story Travis. I wish you and your wife all the best. You reminded me to live in the moment and appreciate each and every moment that is given to me. Thank you.

Guest

Great interview!!! I’m excited to check out this book! I love the tips, and exercise at the end!!! 🙂

Tara Sieg

I had this very dilemma when I myself was diagnosed with a rare cancer just over 6 years ago, and was sat in the bath one night after chemo, the neuropathy excruciatingly bad in my arms, wondering ‘how can I live in the moment when the moment sucks so much?”

I now have PTSD triggered by snow/Winter (as I was diagnosed and treated in Wintertime) and deal with it by spending most Winter in Florida or the South coast (UK) where I can enjoy my ‘present moments’ without suffering the ill effects of PTSD.

One needs to practice karma which helps to reduce suffering as much as possible. Seeing things for what they are and not necessarily ascribing ‘good’ or ‘bad’ characteristics to a scenario or thing, helps :).

Corey Condello

This is something that I think we all can relate to. It’s easier sad than done, but with a conscious effort, I believe it’s possible. Thank you for sharing these lovely words.

Travis

I just want to thank all of you for reading this, and finding some value in it. I apologize if I am slow to respond to anything, but I have limited access to a computer. To Tara, I am sorry to hear about the suffering you have been through. Though I cannot entirely know the pain you have experienced, I can certainly relate to some of the feelings of frustration and despair that cancer can cause. In times of despair I have to often remind myself that much of the suffering I am experiencing is deeply rooted in attachment to things that are always changing, formless, and ultimately something that isn’t tangible. In other words I often find myself caught up thinking about how my wife and I should be preparing to have children, or doing some exciting thing most young couples tend to do. However, allowing my mind to wander down these avenues of thought are ultimately leading me away from the world in front of me and further down the road of suffering. And it’s the attachment to these thoughts that are truly difficult extinguish. I am only starting to learn how to deal with these things, and I hope you and others find peace with when dealing with this kind of suffering.

BT

Hi Corey, I can totally relate. It requires awareness for me to catch myself drifting away from the present moment and day dreaming about wanting the present moment to be different. It is hard work and I have to be mindful of this on daily basis!

Travis, you have written an inspirational story! Thank you!

Shanker

‘Recognize what is available now and stop craving for what is removed’ is a sane advice. Thank you Travis!