“Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.” ~Robert H. Schuller
Have you ever been stopped in your tracks by perfectionism? Would you rather not do something if you can’t be sure it will be perfect? Although this kind of thinking doesn’t make much sense, I understand it, because I’ve been there.
I’d like to share with you some insights that helped me overcome my own deeply ingrained perfectionism and the unhappiness and stagnation it caused me.
Avoiding perfectionism doesn’t mean avoiding quality work and high achievement.
I am someone who loves making sure that even the smallest details of my work are right, and that the work I deliver lives up to my highest standards.
I used to think that the opposite of perfectionism was doing sloppy work, so I tried that for a while, but it really didn’t sit well with me. I don’t know about you, but I like to do something well and make it good quality work, and doing something less than that makes me feel bad.
If giving your best is what you do naturally, then doing something only half as well as you could just to avoid the trap of perfectionism isn’t going to help you. Trying this has always made me feel stressed because I was going against my nature and because I didn’t like the work I produced. So what to do?
Who defines your “perfect”?
I think perfectionism is really fear of being judged by others. It’s actually likely that others will judge us for what we do and say, but in most cases, we can get over it because it’s not so bad—or because we have to.
However, a perfectionist never looks to compassionate and wise people and imagines how they might judge them! For example, when I am writing a new blog post, I never think of what my grandmother or the Dalai Lama would say about it. (It would probably be something like, “It’s wonderful that you express yourself creatively and try to help others at the same time!”)
Instead, the people I have in mind are the cynical journalists whose articles I read (which is really my own fault) and the mean and angry people who post anonymous insults in online newspaper forums. I’m pretty sure they would actually hate what I have to say, but why do I pick them as my internal jury?
This internal process is what I call destructive perfectionism, because it’s a way in which we beat ourselves up and possibly feel so stifled that we never even start our work, or never dare show it to anyone.
Constructive perfectionism is the fuel you need to move forward.
Destructive perfectionism stops you in your tracks. Constructive perfectionism allows you to start and do your best—even if a year from now you find it amateurish. That’s how great things get done; you have to start somewhere and work your way up.
I started getting into strength training, movement art, and gymnastics over a year ago because I wanted to move as capably, strongly, and gracefully as the movement teachers I admire. I soon found that achieving this in a short time frame was highly unrealistic, meaning: For a long time I looked and felt more like an elephant doing gymnastics than an actual movement artist.
But the vision of what is possible kept me going, and now I am a far better and stronger mover than when I started, even though I am miles away from what I want to achieve. If I had given up after one attempt because it wasn’t perfect, I’d still be a couch potato!
In my journey away from perfectionism, I also stopped beating myself up and driving myself so far that I came by several injuries, and started enjoying the movement and the small progress I made every day.
Maybe I will never reach the kind of athletic ability and grace that I long for, but I am enjoying the process so much and doing my health a big favor. So I hope you take this to heart and start enjoying yourself by doing what you love and giving it your best.
Life is too short to miss out on the pleasure of doing something well just because others might judge you or you might not get it right. As they say: Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.
Photo by Helga Weber
About Julia Felberbauer
Julia Felberbauer is a certified Emotion Code practitioner, blogger, mover and lover of life who was born an old, worried woman and has been aging backwards for the last few years. She does remote energy healings to help people get rid of their emotional baggage and false beliefs. Find her blog & energy work over at http://energysessions.at
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Great to define the difference between what is constructive + what is destructive 🙂 If we can finetune our awareness to that generally in our lives we will all be much happier.
Hi Weber, Nice atricle. thanks for sharing.
I used to be ardent perfectionist in my earlier days and used self loathing as a tool for self drive, which was quite painful. Later on, i realized it. Now I dont try to be perfectionist and in fact I try to enjoy each bit of the process of my work. For this mindful is great approach, which will make one steady and slow. This is a good improvement in my approach.
Somebody has rightly said..” Enjoy the path.. Goal will take care itself”.
Sweet post. Enjoyed it! Always had a problem with the “moon / stars” metaphor though, since the stars are incomprehensibly further away from us than the moon.
That’s no criticism of you or the post, just a personal aside. A little nugget of smugness. Will check out your blog Julie, good job!
These are helpful insights. Criticism is hard to swallow for most people and I think as a writer I tend to fall victim to this all the time. I end up editing my work over and over again not just because I want to make sense, but because I don’t want to be booed by others.
But like you pointed out, as a writer I am creative and I what I do helps others. I suppose this is far more important than being “perfect.” Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Perfection is a drug, and chasing perfection is like chasing the dragon – it can’t be done. We’re all guilty of this, and sometimes it’s this addiction that pushes us to our limits, which is great. But as you said, sometimes you need to take a step back and relax because the stress will eat you inside out.
Beauty of life is that it’s never perfect. If you reached perfection right now – what would there be left to do?
Hi Ann how are u?
Thanks for your comment! 🙂
Thank you! I’m happy you read it!
🙂 good!
I’m the queen of “good enough”. Not cursed with the burden of perfectionism. Maybe that’s the benefit of being the younger sister of a big sis who hopped on her brand new bike and rode merrily away (at age 7). I, on the other hand, had training wheels till age 10. And would have kept them longer but my dad took them off. Kinda frees you up to happily fail until you get it right(ish).
Thanks for reading, I’m glad you liked it!
Hey, that’s great! I think being willing (or even happy) to fail until you get it right is exactly what perfectionists need to learn. It took some time before I understood that this is the way to go; before that, I just gave up or beat myself up when I didn’t do something perfectly on the first try. Thanks for reading and commenting!